Behind enemy lines - A Huskerh8er's view of the world

The End

2009-01-09T19:41:00.016-06:00

Well, now that the season is over…it looks like we’re finally here.

First of all, I’d like to apologize up front for making this kinda long. You don’t end a 23 year long crusade and cap it off with a one paragraph long, “Thanks…see you guys later.” No, we have some loose ends we need to tie up before I go, and as you can probably imagine…it might take a while.

Anyhow, let me start off by saying thanks. Thanks for turning a 10 minutes a week hobby into…well, a 30 minute a week hobby. But along the way, without any regrets, I did exactly what I set out to do. This blog wasn’t designed to show you how much better my team was than yours. (Although they are) It wasn’t written to mock your thug athletes, who turned criminal trial watching into a state’s 2nd favorite spectator sport. Nor was this blog really started to break down the daily happenings within one of college football’s most famous programs.

My goal was simply to expose you to the rest of the world.

When I started back in early 2005, Nebraska football was still known…I guess… as somewhat as a national power. Sure they were going through some growing pains with Bill Callahan…but just 3 seasons prior, the team played for a National title for God’s sake. (One that you never deserved to even play for..as we’ve discussed here many times.) Oh sure, you were openly mocked for being destroyed in the 2002 Rose Bowl game. And yes, the public ridiculed you endlessly from afar during your disastrous hiring of Bill Callahan just the year before. But even then…nobody REALLY knew you.

Today…some four years and over 620 posts later, the world finally seems to have seen the light. Fans of every single Big 12 North team have stopped by this corner of the web…oftentimes sending me thanks for saying exactly what they felt...usually after encountering some idiot Husker transplant at work, or that brother-in-law who won't shut the hell up about Grant Wistrom. Yes, fans from across the country were finally privy to your mind-numbing stories, farked photos and media articles that for decades lay far behind a tightly closed iron curtain. Don't believe me? Do you think it’s just a coincidence that 2008's "return" to glory team was somehow left out of the top 25? Think voters are still falling for your “look at us, we used to be great..but now we’re back” crap again?

Yes, my goal was to reveal you and your massive ego to the world, by letting them see just what a complete and absolute freak show you people run out here on the great plains…all by yourself…where nobody from the outside world dares to tread for more than a weekend.

We’ve also talked a lot about the Nebraska media, who have made this blog literally write itself. Special thanks to Kevin Kuglar and Mike’L Severe of KOZN radio in Omaha for not only calling me out on air (multiple times), but for oftentimes have the actual balls to banter with me back and forth via e-mail, somehow justifying their foolhardy and oftentimes moronic opinions. Special thanks to Traitor Tom Shatel, columnist for the Omaha World Herald…who to this day stands as probably the easiest target of all. In all my years of fighting this fight, NOBODY represents the supercilious nature of Husker fan better than he does. Wishy-washy to the core…completely blinded by urge to please you, Tom has made a living of being your ultimate piss boy. Thank you Tom for the all the years of ammunition. It has not gone unappreciated.

Yes, during our time together, we’ve been through many adventures that I will look back fondly on. The Huskers have lost 20 games since I started this blog...more than an entire era that spanned from 1985 to 1998. And man did we have some fun.

Who could forget the rise and fall of J.C. Keller? Looking back at the top 10 Husker losses of all time? The 76 points to Kansas? 52-17? 41-6? The back-to-back colon-pulsing ass poundings by USC? Perhaps you enjoyed the near losses to Maine…The police incidents, the outlandish predictions, the blowout losses, the spitting thug and the return of Tom Osborne? Or perhaps you enjoyed..as I did…when various factions of my own Husker-loving readers who turned against each other in their time of deep despair; so much so they arranged to fight each other at halftime of an actual game? Harrison Beck, Jay Norvell, Dudley Blake, Marlon Lucky and his invisible Heisman, fake tattoos, the Blaine Gabbert saga and all the borderline disturbing events that have shaped you as a fan base over the past few years. I will miss them all. And I will most miss sharing them all with you, if anything to hear your ridiculous spin job that often followed.

But alas, nothing lasts forever and this is a prime example. Although it still exists…evil as it once was has been defeated…my soul has been cleansed, and an entire generation of football fans now have had a first-hand look at what complete and total idiot hayseeds you are. Some say I single-handedly stoked the fires of a new rivalry between bordering states. Perhaps I did have something to do with it? Perhaps I’m the sole reason you hate every single car that drives by your tractor with Missouri license plates? The truth lies in within your own soul…what that is..I really don’t know. What I do know is…NOTHING about you really bothers me that much anymore. Your claims…your stories…your predictions…your flashbacks. It’s all bullshit, because you’ve been proven wrong time and time and time and time again…by me, the one person who knows you best.

Before I do go on though…I do want to thank a few more people who helped make this blog what it is and what it was:

Thanks to Greg, Barney, Brown Thunder and Ryan for creating this monster many years ago. Thanks to Husker Mike, Jon at Corn Nation and some of the other fairly-reasonable Husker bloggers I’ve bumped into over the years. Thanks to Gabe at PowerMizzou, the guys over at Rock M Nation and of course Nick and the freaks over at Tigerboard. Thanks to the Colorado and K-State fans who helped make this blog grow. Thanks to Justin in Reno for all his help with the web design, as well as the anonymous Mizzou student who supplied me with the alternate URL. Thanks to MCPeiper for the game tickets. Thanks to the OPD and Qwest Center security for not catching me when I snuck into the NCAA tourney. Thanks to Maple Street Publishing, CNNSI.com and Tim Griffin at ESPN.com for featuring my work. Thanks to the listeners of Unsportsmanlike Conduct for being obsessed with my every move. Thanks to all my family and friends…almost all who never found out that I have actually written such hateful and vile words over the years.

But most of all…thank you Husker fans.

Relentlessly, time and time again you hillbilly inbred hayseed fuckheads have provided me with entertainment beyond my wildest dreams. You’ve tried to bring up my own team’s failures…while justifying your own misfortunes and mistakes. You’ve tried to tell me how much you hate me…while at the same time never turning to run away from me. You’ve tried over and over and over and over to get me to play your little game, but never got me to crack. My only regret is that I didn’t find a penny for every time one of you clowns left me your best Jim Rome impression, promising you’d never return; and then sneak a peek some 500 times in the following 3 hours.

What you never realized is…I allowed you to comment on my work so freely simply because you did what I never could…and that is fully demonstrate what a whack-job bunch of red-sweater wearing psychopaths you dipshits truly are. Sure, I can tell people from other parts of the country that you send pictures of shirtless wide-receivers to your friends…but then you would just log in and try and defend it.

“Yeah, but you’re scared to death…look them…they’re RIPPED!”

You never got it.

You never EVER understood that the more you fought back, the more idiotic you appeared to those whom I truly wrote this blog for. I addressed you Husker fans directly in every column, even though you were never my intended reader. The real goal was to find that sheltered person who stumbled across the blog on Google or whatever…curiously wondering why or HOW anyone could POSSIBLY hate such a classy and distinguished fan base like Nebraska. While never writing a word directly to that person…I wanted them to fully understand, that what you see on television, lost in a visually impressive sea of red…is certainly not what you get. These people are insane. These people are delusional. These people love themselves more than you could ever love another object.

But now it’s over. The mediocrity once despised is now covering you like a warm blanket. You embrace it. You celebrate it. You are oblivious to it. While trying to take a step forward…you let your leaders take you 20 steps back, and that is your own fault due to your own actions in the past. Karma kicked you square in the teeth, and you Gomers are just too far gone to see it. This is why I have yet to follow your instructions and “Just leave if you hate it here so much”.

I was having too much fun…not laughing with you..but at you.

So with that…in the spirit of you being a complete and total shell of your former selves…let me leave you with a final thought:

I found I was pretty good at writing this blog, not because I have any talent or any real insight. No, I think hundreds of thousands of hits found this website because I knew you like nobody else did…and yet thrived under your resistance. I always wrote this blog knowing that even the slightest misstep in facts, and my credibility would be shot…the message I delivered forever ruined in the transmission, no matter how true it was. But deny to yourself if you may…I stood toe to toe with you regarding the Huskers, because I know your team every bit as well as you do. I see the program with my eyes..while you feel it with your heart; and that is dangerous.

For you see…some of you asked long ago, but the answer was never found: I know so much about you, because I am one of you. Not by residence, but by blood. Yes, in my final plot twist to you…I will finally let you in on a little secret I successfully worked very hard to hide:

I attended to the University of Nebraska.

I stand as a symbol for all to see…for what you believe in and how you go about your daily lives…will someday consume you. I am your worst enemy…your harshest critic…and will hate all of you until the day they put me into the ground. I am what happens when one of you finally sees the light. I am one of you in more ways than you ever knew.

For those of you who have been here for a while…friend or foe…thanks for taking this ride with me. For all the smack talk, foul language and snotty remarks, I really did enjoy writing this blog for so long, despite your endless stupidity. But like all crusades, this one must end as victory is in hand. Your mystique is gone. Your aura of ultimate class and respect is long since shattered. Your history…the one thing you have clutched onto for so long..is now all you have as it gently drifts farther and farther away in the rearview mirror.

I documented your ugly death for all the world to see. I am victorious in my intentions. I am triumphant in doing exactly what I set out to do in February of 2005. The fight is over now.

I won.

I've won because nobody gives a damn about truly shitty teams. And with that...my work here is done.

This is A.J. reporting live from behind enemy lines.

Signing off.

Grand Finale Disclaimer

2009-01-09T15:38:00.004-06:00

In the next 48 hours, this blog will close it's doors forever.

Let the record show that following the final post, I will still approve your comments for at least a few weeks. After that, the archives will be open for as long as Blogger allows.

Thanks,

The management

PS - No top 25 for the Huskers and their epic season? I'm shocked.

Tebow Takes the Throne

2009-01-09T09:10:00.002-06:00

I lied. One more football post.

With his win last night, Tim Tebow becomes the greatest college football quarterback of our generation. Just as he did against Eddie George...Tommie Frazier takes yet another back seat.

Frazier:
Wins: 33
Passing: 250-509 (49%) 4,003 yds
Passing TD's: 47
Passing INT's: 18
Rushing: 386 carries, 2,263 yds (36 TD's)
Heisman's: 0
Ntl Titles: 2

Tebow:
Wins: 34 (playing one fewer seasons.)
Passing: 430-651 (66%) 6,159 yds
Passing TD's: 65
Passing INT's: 9
Rushing: 453 carries, 2192 yds (43 TD's)
Heisman's: 1
Ntl Titles: 2

The 2008 Big 12 North Season in Review

2009-01-05T12:02:00.007-06:00

Well, you knew it was coming sometime. Yes, it’s time for probably the last football-related column (yes, column) here at BEL…and judging by the return of the scarlet-colored cockroaches covering the floor around here, it should be a pretty popular one.

Over the years, many of my fellow bloggers have questioned why I am so liberal in what comments I approve. One of the great things about running a blog by yourself, is that you can completely dictate how it looks and feels via censorship. However, as I’ve long since stated, I WANT to see you people get pissed at me for several reasons. First, it's fun. Second, it shows the rest of the world what complete jackoff hayseeds you clowns are. Nothing makes me laugh more than some idiot in a yellow foam hat, spending 6000 words, telling me how much he hates me and my blog. Apparently, the irony was missed on him.

The third reason I like to approve pretty much any comment you can throw at me is that I realize all of this is opinion. That’s one thing that gets lost more than any other when it comes to sportswriters, both professional and amateur. The first thing you learn in journalism school is a funny little four-letter word that is the basis of pretty much any and all reporting…both legit and editorial. The word is “bias”, and the perspective that delivers it is the most important principle to remember when reading a blog, newspaper article or Jason Whitlock column where he babbles on about how great KU football is.

You simply must put yourself in the writer’s shoes, and figure out WHY he/she’s saying such things, and what their true motives are. What is their background? What is their stake in the argument? That’s what makes me laugh the hardest, is when I make predictions or submit a power poll and you people lose your minds. I mean, the sign at the front of the website says HUSKER HATER. And then you get all pissed off when I predict you’ll win 4 games? What the fuck did you expect me to say? “Damn that Bo Pelini is going to have Nebraska back on top this year.”

I’ve said this since the beginning, writing about the Huskers is 1000 times easier when they are winning, than when they’re a steaming pile of shit and left to die in the North cellar. People get more uptight....expectations are raised....delusions grow like weeds. I mean, I used to bash Nebraska when they were 60-3 and my own team was 11-43 in that same period. What makes you think I’ll have a hard time dealing with a 9-4 season where your biggest win was a 10 point victory over a 5-loss Insight.com champion Kansas team? (At home) Wouldn’t you think that’s easier to deal with than smack talking with friends when their team just won a 3rd National Title in 4 years and your own team hasn’t gone to a bowl in 2 decades?

Next time you wonder why I’m packing up and claiming victory, go and think about that for a while. If you still don't get it; well..there isn't much I can do for you at this point.

Anyhow…let’s get back to the year in review. With the North season now complete following Nebraska’s yawn-inducing pillow-fight victory last week, we can take a look at the season that was. And yes, we’ll see just how I was wrong…and how I was right on several different fronts.

Iowa State Cyclones (2-10)
Predicted record: (5-7)
High Point: Still trying to find one.
Low Point: Having your coach win 2 games and he fires you..not the other way around.
Summary: The Clones did absolutely nothing this season, so they may as well just start looking forward. Paul Rhodes takes over one hell of a mess in Ames. Granted, any first year coach is going to struggle, but first year success depends a lot on how much talent is there when they arrive. (AhemPeliniAhem)

Kansas State Wildcats (5-7)
Predicted record: (8-4)
High Point: Entering Big 12 play at 3-1 before being destroyed by Texas Tech
Low Point: Rehiring Bill Snyder and raising eyebrows across the nation.
Summary: I had no idea KSU would struggle so bad on defense. I also didn’t think Ron Prince would struggle taking over a BCS conference program the way he did. Gotta wonder how that loss to Louisville early effected the confidence of an already fragile program. A 1 point loss to Colorado was a death blow for the season and sent Prince on the road to the unemployment office.

Colorado Buffaloes (5-7)
Predicted record: (7-5)
High Point: Beating a ranked West Virginia team in overtime on National TV
Low Point: Losing to Nebraska on a fluke 57 yard field goal by a gangly Husker nerd/kicker who is not only fighting acne, but appears to have never kissed a girl.
Summary: I don’t have the exact number, but I thought I read somewhere that Colorado lost 17 starters at some point to injury. I say this every year, but I still have a hard time thinking that Colorado won’t rise up again soon and start to compete. A win in Lincoln would have been a great feather in Dan Hawkins’ cap, as would a bowl game. If Cody Hawkins would have played the whole year as he did in Lincoln, the Buffs wouldn’t have had such a crappy taste in their mouth to end the year.

Kansas Jayhawks (7-5)
Predicted record: (6-6)
High Point: Beating Missouri on a 4th down scramble in the snow at Arrowhead
Low Point: Losing to Nebraska on the road in a game they had no business losing.
Summary: KU was pretty much exactly where I thought they would be. Granted, I didn’t think they’d beat Missouri at Arrowhead (not many did), but gotta give them credit. Reesing played out of his ass and pretty much carried that team all the way to their win over a horribly brutal Minnesota team in the Insight.com bowl. The fat man can do a whole lot with not a ton of talent, and this season was no different. Having the whole team take a picture in front of the scoreboard after the Missouri game was pretty lame though..even for a guy wears a tent as a jacket.

Missouri Tigers (9-3)
Predicted record (11-1)
High Point: Crushing Nebraska and going on to win the North for a 2nd straight year
Low Point: Being destroyed at Arrowhead by OU in front of 40,000 OU fans.
Summary: Back to back 10 win seasons is nothing to sneeze at, and certainly no sane Tiger fan will discount that feat. But you have to wonder how the season would have gone, had the Tigers not laid a giant egg against a very beatable Okie State team in October. Granted, they weren’t going to beat Texas or OU this season, but you gotta think the KU debacle may not have happened if higher stakes were on the line at Arrowhead. Just goes to show you how big a part the mental game plays in football at this level. Right now, it looks like more Mizzou players will make the NFL out of this senior class, than the previous 15-20 years combined.

Nebraska Huskers (8-4)
Predicted record (4-8)
High Point: Getting crushed by Missouri at home and then suddenly forgetting it ever happened.
Low Point: Kidding yourself that Winning 9 games means you’ve turned a corner, even though your very best wins include a 5 loss Kansas team and a 6 loss Clemson team.
Summary: Order restored right? Funny thing is …Callahan brings in TONS of talent (per you), and yet somehow Pelini got 9 wins out of a group of “nobodies” (as a friend of mine called them the other day.) Which is it? Pretty safe to say the whole “playing harder” mantra worked out for you...but I think deep down, I feel a sense that even you know that this is only a small…even tiny step forward toward you getting back up atop your throne. You still haven’t beaten a top 20 team in nearly eight seasons. Hell, even the Omaha World Herald, in a story about season highlights listed an OT loss at Texas Tech as one of the season’s high water marks.

Huh?

Don’t you think that's slightly telling if one of your greatest season “highlights” is a loss where your QB pissed the game away? And seriously, how many times are you going to lose to teams that are better than you? Granted, it’s better than losing to those teams…as you did last year. But still, it depends on what your expectations are. Next season, expectations are going to be sky high, despite the fact the vaunted CornCoast offense returns nearly zero playmakers for 2009. Good thing you guys don’t have a history of over estimating incoming talent huh?

Just a few years ago, you people hailed the executive motto that you absolutely will “not gravitate toward mediocrity”. Yet now, you celebrate it. Nine wins is but a number in days of 12 game schedules. This is especially true in a "great" fan base celebrating the non-choking of games away from such superpowers as San Jose State (81st in RPI.com’s final rankings), New Mexico State (140th), Iowa State (144th), Baylor (89th), KSU (85th) and Colorado (74th). Hell, even the Western Michigan and Clemson wins are considered mediocre according to the computers, who rank both teams in the mid 40’s….barely in the top half of the nation.

So maybe an OT loss to Texas Tech is what you should shoot for now? Perhaps this really is where you live these days? When I told you that your program lied in ruins all summer long, many of you mocked me for the simple fact that you know that Nebraska will never be a 2-3 win doormat…Hell, even I know that. (Not while Dr. Tom is in charge of scheduling) But what has changed in all this is how you define success. Even I will concede that 9 wins out of this group is a pretty major accomplishment. But make no mistake, the highway of college football is littered with programs who took a step forward, only to take two steps back. Bo Pelini isn’t blessed with a senior QB to save his ass in 2009. Remember the last time you had to break in an underclassman QB? Neither do I…it’s been a while.

So was this year’s edition of Husker football a success?

I guess it depends on how you look at it. Is listing an OT loss worthy of a season “highlight”? Is an unaccredited “co division championship” worthy of your mighty program? Now that mediocrity has been re-gained, is a division title the only acceptable outcome for Bo Pelini in 2009? Is it fair that this is where the bar has been set, despite the fact that not a single player he recruited has played a down in his system to date? I once told you the worst possible thing Pelini could do is have a good record in year one with very little to show for it in his first year. Right on cue, that’s exactly what happens. Now, he is forced to up that goal, with a complete lack of returning skill position players, and a defense that was improved…but still gave up a whopping 46 points per game in their 4 losses. 46 points...PER GAME.

Whether that is restored order to you is not for me to decide. I just hope you can keep your focus when you find out that red is the only color that bridesmaid dress comes in.

Instant Gator Analysis - As Good as it Gets

2009-01-01T16:36:00.004-06:00

Savor it Husker fans. You’ve earned it.

The way you came back and clawed your way ahead of a 6 loss, mid-level ACC team with absolutely no hint of an offense was something to behold. Now don’t get me wrong…I was barely awake to witness the showcase of field-goal fueled offensive superpowers, although I was coherent enough to witness the Clemson QB…who for some reason looks a lot like Adam Sandler…get sacked on a 20 yard loss on third and goal from the 10 with the game on the line. Seriously, is that their regular QB? Does he know you can throw the ball away while scrambling?

And you people say my team’s QB sucks...yeesh.

That dude was the worst signal caller I’ve seen since Wake Forest trotted out their 4th string water boy against JC and the boys down in North Carolina last season. (Game reminded me a lot of that game as well) But alas, order is restored, and you can now go back to your rightful place on top of the college football world. Then again, your senior class leaves Lincoln a stellar 3-12 vs. ranked teams in their four years, (the three wins were over #24 Texas A&M in 2006, and in 2005 over #23 ISU and #20 Michigan) and won a whopping 1 division title. (For a school that will brag to anybody with a pulse that they've won FIVE NATIONAL titles)

I hate to say this...and truth be told however, this might be it for a while. You break in a new QB next season and lost nearly every single offensive player who played worth a shit this afternoon. (Minus Castille who had a few nice runs.) Plus, don’t look now…but you have to go to Lawrence and Columbia next season; two places you haven’t exactly lit up the past few times you’ve been there. (And oh yeah...don't forget Texas Tech and Oklahoma aren't exactly going to suck next season either...nor will Va Tech)

But who am I to rain on your grand parade today? Today, on this fantastic day of days..where you proved you WERE indeed BETTER than a 6-loss ACC Team, I only have a couple of points. Oh sure, we still have to see how Pelini is going to win using players he actually recruited, but what reason is there to bring common sense and facts into this discussion? Your first January bowl win in 9 freaking years deserves room to celebrate...even from me. (9 years is a long ass time by the way)

* Good for Joe Ganz. That dude played his ass off for you people, and earned my respect, getting his ass kicked most of the game. Hopefully, on his way out the door, he gives all of you a giant middle finger for treating him like shit prior to 2007. You remember those days right? Like when every single one of you wanted him to transfer because he simply couldn’t match up to the physical God-given talent of J.C. Keller? Hopefully he'll turn that upcoming poster-signing business into something a bit more practical in light of your former taunts.

* I know I say this a lot (because...well, it’s kind of my 2nd job), But do ANY of you people realize what complete tools you look on television during the games? I mean, the foam ears of corn on your head are stupid enough, but that’s been done. No, dressing up as a giant ear of corn, while your fat pasty frat brother dances around shirtless in white striped overalls isn’t exactly projecting a cosmopolitan image to the rest of the country. Don’t get me wrong…nobody was watching that snooze fest except for a few people who live in South Carolina..who have identity problems as well…but wouldn’t you think somebody would try and do something about that? (Then again, your team spokesman is Larry the Cable Guy, so whom am I kidding?)

And it’s not just some of you…almost every single one of you douchebags who showed up in Florida’s northeastern armpit today looked like you’ve never seen the light of day, or God forbid watched a sporting event with other people. Perhaps the camera people went out of their way to show your fans at their worst. Or perhaps it was just coincidence that the most hard-core (ie moron) fans made the trip this year. But rest assured, those of us not wearing a faded red sweatshirt today all noticed your complete and total lack of sophistication and charm.

It’s funny when people at NFL games do it because they’re most likely drunk. You on the other hand have absolutely no excuse other than your extremely shallow gene pool.

* I’m going to throw it out there: New Years Day sucks. FIVE games? That’s all we get now FIVE games? Back in the day, New Year’s was the quintessential holiday of College Football. Now, it doesn’t even have ½ the number of games available on TV as a typical regular season. Just call it yet another way the man is sticking it to the common fan. Screw it..at least the hockey game was badass again as usual.

This week, the Big 12 North recap. Til then...See ya at 72nd and Dodge!

Gator Bowl Champs!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Beginning of the End

2008-12-31T10:28:00.004-06:00

I never thought my love for writing would diminish as fast as it has. Gone apparently are the days were just one quick Husker related conversation with a co-worker would send me into a 800 word, profanity laced rant that would pretty much offend even the most liberal of readers. Here are the days where I simply shake my head, and remind you that you haven't done jack shit in what is now going on 8 seasons.

What’s that? Nebraska is back on track to glory by playing in a spectacular Florida-based New Year’s Day bowl game?

Who cares. The combined record of the teams that Nebraska beat is 41-58. The only TWO teams you beat with more than 6 wins were Western Michigan (see them the other night?) and Kansas. If your best win this season is Kansas, that’s nothing to get too overly excited about, especially when that game is at home and was decided by 10 points. Should we go back in time and count how long it's been since you beat a top 20 team? (2001) How bout a top 20 team on the road? (1997) The list goes on and on, as the kings of the mediocre continue to rule over their new kingdom.

Hell, even with the overall landscape of college football the way it stands now, it’s really difficult to get fired up over pretty much anything. The bowls now are diluted and strained so badly that even the players don’t appear to care. The BCS is fine, but when horribly overrated teams like Utah and Cincinnati are playing in the BCS, how is the average fan supposed to get fired up? Is there that much to do in Boise? Apparently there is, considering their "bowl" game drew about 3 dozen fans.

Regardless of our past differences, I apologize for the slow and painful death of this blog. I should have given the husker hating movement one full week to get everything off our chest, and then push the plunger on the thing back in October. Somehow, I thought the spirit would move me enough to find enough hate and rage to throw out more material throughout the remainder of the season; to somehow find one last haymaker to send you into your grave on a high note.

But again, the movement is dead…long since serving its purpose. There is no reason for me to continue….reporting live from behind the massive curtain of arrogance, when now the whole world knows what complete and irrelevant frauds you are.

I’ve got nothing left. Hell, I don’t even have enough creative juice left to bitch about how much New Year’s Eve sucks and has now turned into Ryan Seacrest’s own personal media platform. I was going to comment on some show called, ‘Bromance” I saw on MTV while flipping through channels last night…but as lame and homo-erotic as it was trying to be…I can simply roll my eyes and continue on my day.

The bottom line is…nothing really affects me that much anymore. Like a veteran of most bloody wars, all I want to do is find a peaceful little corner of the world, and live the rest of my sports-watching days in peace and tranquility...knowing that you'll never again rule the world as you once did. Despite the blood and gore of the struggle, evil has been defeated.

Have you ever heard those stories about terminally ill patients who somehow hang on to live a few more days...as if just waiting for some event to happen? (Like a visit from a long lost loved-one or Christmas or what have you) I’m pretty sure that’s what happened to the anti-Husker movement back when my favorite team was finished pulverizing you in your own backyard in October. Back on that clear October night, the entire transformation had become complete. Gone were days of fighting back in the name of my own team and own self worth…all in the name of pride. Here are the days were I pity clap you people, as you slowly disappear into the tunnel of your own stadium…all before the 4th quarter.

Mission Accomplished.

During a slow holiday day off, I went back into the archives and read some of the older BEL columns and comments from a more combative time. With each word, you could feel the hate, as the disdain and poison nearly dripped down the sides of my monitor. I poured all of my hatred into some of those early writings…with a spirit and dislike reserved only for few on this earth. Your replies were comical, pathetic and in many cases sad. However, the spirit of the fight was there on both sides. I very much enjoyed reading those old entries…especially the chronicles of your ultimate downfall last October. If you ever want some real entertaining reading…go read the comments section from any article written last September. Good good stuff.

After your pillow fight tomorrow with a 5-loss, mid-level ACC team (where 1982 will somehow be avenged or whatever), we’ll break down our final Husker football game. We’ll take a look at how you’ve parlayed a mediocre season (at best) and used your reputation and history into a year that would have been considered a complete failure during most days of the past 4 decades or so.

Then, the curtain will fall and we’ll say goodbye. The crusted blood will remain stuck to the sides of your mouth, as you slowly examine your jaw that has somehow found it’s way to the other side of your face. You’ll faintly see me standing over you, mocking your very existence. One last kick to your ribs, and that will be that.

The fight is over. The end is almost here.

Let's get it over with.

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth

2008-12-24T12:25:00.004-06:00

Happy Holidays to you freaks. I hope this finds you safe, warm and with family on this greatest of days.

No Words Necessary

2008-12-23T21:15:00.001-06:00

The 2009 Season Preview

2008-12-23T10:36:00.003-06:00

“But AJ…if you really are closing the blog down…how are we going to get our Husker hating data for next season.” Seems this is the burning question on everybody’s mind these days (heh), and yes…you are going to have to find somewhere else to get your anti-Nebraska propaganda from next season. No, I'm not going Bret Favre. No, I'm not going to "suddenly realize my own team sucks" and pick this whole thing back up again. It's not going to happen. I've proven my point. I'm done dealing with you. I already won.

But fear not my friends. Before I strike the match, and burn this place to the ground, I do have some thoughts on how I see next season shake out. No don’t get me wrong…I’m WELL aware that things change, just as I'm well aware that by July, you'll already be making your reservations for Dallas in the first week of December. I’m also aware that although the BLOG is retiring, I most likely will be back…somewhere…in some capacity to inform you of these matters.

But in the interest of time and our impending together, I thought I’d give you a chance to see where you’re going…before you even know where you’ve been. SO with that, let’s take a look to see how the north is going to shake out:

1) Kansas
Key Strengths in 2009: Reesing, Briscoe and Sharp; The Fat man can coach
Key Weaknesses in 2009: They’re KU
Schedule Breakdown: @Tech, @Texas, vs OU, @UTEP and @S.Miss
Early Bird Predicted Record: 8-4
Comments: Do you know how hard it is to pick KU to win the North? I mean, they’ve been a sham for quite some time, and haven’t had the depth to keep up with the rigors of the Big 12 this past year. Unfortunately, they return way more skilled players on offense, which still in this league…is the key to success. Reesing is going to need some help with his offensive line, and I don’t think Sharp can be an everyday back…but still. Anybody not giving KU the early nod is fooling themselves.

2) Missouri
Key Strengths in 2009: Experienced skill players
Key Weaknesses in 2009: Inexperienced DB’s New QB as well as new O-coordinator
Schedule Breakdown: vs. Illinois, @Nevada, @OSU, vs. Texas, vs. Kansas in KC
Early Bird Predicted Record: 8-4
Comments: The defense can’t get worse right? If you’re losing a bunch of bad players, isn’t that addition by subtraction? This is exactly what NU fans told the world last season, and it may apply to Mizzou here. Missouri is a wildcard to me, mostly depending on the development of the defense…as well as the improvement of Blaine Gabbert. If Gabbert lives up to the hype, relies on the best returning running back in the north and doesn’t make mistakes, Mizzou shouldn’t take a huge hit on offense. On defense, the key is getting better at pretty much any area.

3) Colorado
Key Strengths in 2009: Best young RB tandem in the conference
Key Weaknesses in 2009: No offensive identity, touch schedule
Schedule Breakdown: @West Virginia, @Texas, vs. Kansas, vs. Mizzou, @OSU
Early Bird Predicted Record: 7-5
Comments: OK, I always pick Colorado to be good, but this year I mean it. NO team in the conference was damaged by injuries like Colorado was. Scott and Stewart are electric and Cody Hawkins showed signs of life in a fluke loss at Lincoln last season. The Buffs get Nebraska at home, and Mizzou/KU at home as well. If Dan Hawkins is ever to make significant progress..this is the year.

4) Kansas State
Key Strengths in 2009: Bill Snyder and his merry band of Juco defensive players
Key Weaknesses in 2009: New QB if freeman leaves, bevy of other issues
Schedule Breakdown: @UCLA, @Tech, @OU, vs. KU, vs. Mizzou,
Early Bird Predicted Record: 6-6
Comments: The old man is back, and he’s bringing his juco mentality (and scheduling) with him. Look for that trip to UCLA to get banged faster than Lindsey Lohan at a post-production party, only to be replaced by more cupcakes. KSU gets KU and Missouri at home, but must possibly rely on replacing Josh Freeman if he bolts. If he does, the odds of a sub .500 season grow quite a bit.

5) Nebraska
Key Strengths in 2009: Abundance of confidence, key returning players on defense
Key Weaknesses in 2009: Abundance of confidence, new QB, new WR’s
Schedule Breakdown: @VT, @Mizzou, vs. Tech, @Baylor, vs. Oklahoma, @KU
Early Bird Predicted Record: 5-7
Comments: Seriously, why do you think you’ll win more than 5 games? You realize you have no QB right? You realize even if you did, you’d have nobody to throw to right? You realize you have Tech and OU this year, along with road trips to Mizzou, Kansas, Baylor and Colorado right? (And not to mention Va Tech). There are way too many holes here for me to POSSIBLY take you seriously. Well, that and I’ve heard this whole, “We’re back” bullshit mantra way too many times. If some hotshot QB transfer from the Pac-10 shows up…then maybe I’ll change my mind. Oh wait…maybe not.

6) Iowa State
Key Strengths in 2009: None that I can see. Cool uniforms?
Key Weaknesses in 2009: You name it
Schedule Breakdown: @Kent, @KU, vs. Baylor, @A&M, vs. OSU, @Mizzou
Early Bird Predicted Record: 2-10
Comments: So a disaster of a season gets worse when your shitty coach dumps your shitty team to go work for some guys in the SEC who obviously have no clue what they’re doing. I honestly can’t find anything ISU can look forward to. None. I’ve tried for 20 minutes now, and it’s just not happening.

Quick South prediction:

1) Oklahoma
2) Texas
3) Baylor
4) Okie State
5) Tech
6) A&M

Big 12 Champion: Oklahoma (way to go out on a limb there)
Player of the year: Colt McCoy
Easiest thing to predict of the year: Nebraska’s offensive production drops by 100ypg.

Sunset Over the Husker Hating Movement

2008-12-19T13:34:00.003-06:00

If I have ever made one large mistake in upkeeping this fine museum of online sports-related prose, it has been to give you a direct timeline as to when I’m shutting the blog down. Fact remains, I wish it had been a couple of weeks ago, because other than ice storms and bi-annual volleyball madness, there really isn’t a whole hell of a lot going on in this part of the world these days.

Because of this, I apologize for the general lack of focus, continuity and yes…general lack of effort on my part over the last few weeks. Although I’ve stated many times that I really don’t care that much about this blog or the reaction it gets…I do take a small bit of pride in at least making it look presentable, among other things. Oh sure, my #1 goal is to piss you off and fighting yourself to the death to keep from firing back some snotty non-though out reply to my comment section…but alas, this entire endeavor has run it’s course. An in the end…I’m happy with how it’s turned out and wouldn't do anything different.

Regardless of whatever my mark on the Husker hating movement has been…I’ve long since resigned myself to the fact that you can’t teach an old hick new tricks. I’m well aware that 17,000+ of you toothless hayseeds packed an arena last night..braving 2 inches of ice to watch a sport that ranks somewhere between wrestling and soccer in terms of cash flow and excitement. Although many of you may look at my disdain as nothing but typical jealousy of a hater…it has long been my mantra to understand that you can not change who you are. I know you’ll pack an arena to watch a bunch of freakishly tall girls jump around in short shorts. I know you’ll define yourselves as the greatest fans in college sports (it says so on your stadium), all the while completely ignoring your men’s basketball team…whom let’s face it..hasn’t given you a reason to cheer since Keith Moody and Beau Reed were hitting three pointers in the early 90’s.

Although none of these things have really changed…my outlook upon them has. Oh sure, I roll my eyes whenever I hear local sportscasters call Husker player by their first names. And sure, I will always feel a slight gurgle in my bowels anytime I hear a co-worker brag to another regarding the Husker’s amazing 280+ game home sellout streak. But in the end, this entire struggle was more based on me rather than you. I knew you wouldn't change...or couldn't change. I didn't expect you to.

But, since your football team has splattered upon the pavement of the reality sidewalk, I no longer find myself as annoyed as I once was. Despite your unwavering arrogance, the fire that once burned wildly inside me has now slowed to a small spark…barely capable of laughing to myself anytime I hear the latest Husker recruit and his unquestionable future as a Heisman candidate and fresh start that till turn the Husker football program around. These things still exist...they're just much easier to stomach when you've long since been proven time and time again as a fraud.

I am but a normal sports fan now, who lives a normal sports fan life. The reasoning behind madness has been justified. Fighting back and letting the sports world know just what sort of depraved lunatics inhabit this state has made a point that has stuck and stuck for a long time. Despite what you may think of me or my methods…my mission was just and my success has now been documented. Perhaps a need will arise again to expose the evil that lurks within the souls of Husker fans…but until that time comes…consider this mission accomplished.

Order ignored.

Next week: Annual Holiday Column
Week After: Husker Bowl preview and 2008 retrospective
Week After That: Farewell

News, Notes and Things I Don't Have Comment On

2008-12-15T20:20:00.004-06:00

As you may have noticed, the updates are starting to slow to a trickle here at BEL, just before a silent and graceful death. I do appreciate the passing insults, barbs and the attempts to make me reconsider shutting the doors. But as I’ve stated many times before; My work here is done. There is simply no more reason to go on.

Anyhow, there hasn’t been any new posts, because not one damn thing has happened this week to make me feel like writing. I certainly could throw out columns for the sake of writing, but my will is gone and my anger has simmered. Some of these non-items I'm not going to write about include:

* The cold. Yes, it’s cold….it’s winter. Buy a damn coat.

* The Heisman. Yes, ESPN sucks gigantic moose balls and yes Sam Bradford simply won the “Best QB on the Best team” award amid 60 minutes of hype seldom seen outside of Las Vegas. And yes, I could probably go on and on about how I could throw for 2,000 yards behind Oklahoma offensive line…but again: What’s the point? You know my take. I know my take. Again, not worth it.

* Your bowl game. You’re playing a 5-loss disappointment of a program in Clemson...in a shitty city and you’re still an underdog. Good lord, could this game be any more boring to the outside fan? The biggest story-line going into the game is…and I swear to God this is true: Both coaches have funny names. THIS is what the bowl system has come down to. I’ve dedicated a lot of time hating the Nebraska football program, and even I can’t find enough energy to even roll my eyes. Please oh please, make this thing be done with so we can go back to our Creighton basketball and our Grapefruit League baseball in a few weeks. (Of course, all of which leads up to the annual “Dig-us” festival known as the NU spring game after that.)

* Nebraska volleyball. Again, a quick look into the archives will tell you exactly what I think about this abomination of sport. Just because your team is good at it doesn’t make you great fans. I don’t care how good of athletes those girls are..(and they are great athletes)…it still doesn’t make it any more interesting to pretty much anyone but you.

* The Omaha downtown stadium is going to cost 150 million bucks, and is going to sit empty 50 weeks out of the year. Well, that is unless Roger Dixon finds an Independent League to play in the ballpark, which in case you haven’t seen an Independent League game, it’s a cross between fast-pitch softball and an NAIA scrimmage. If you’re willing to pay 6 bucks just to park to watch that brand of baseball…then you must love dizzy bat races way more than I do.

* The UNO Maverick hockey team. FINALLY, a team that hasn’t hit the bottom of the barrel before Christmas break. Granted, they’ve played absolutely nobody..but at least they’re beating the teams they should. Is it too little too late? Is it enough to win back over a disgruntled fan base? Who cares. I won’t be writing about it here

* Turner Gill. I’ve had several people ask me my take on Turner Gill getting screwed over by several football programs in light of his candidacy for head coach. My answer to that is: Have you ever thought maybe he’s an asshole? OK, he’s probably not…and for the most part, dude is a respectable man who does things the right way. But let’s get real here…he is coaching in Buffalo right now that nobody has paid attention to and spent his entire adult life before that being Tom Osborne’s personal piss boy in Lincoln. Would he make a great head coach somewhere? Maybe. But it’s going to take more than a 5 loss MAC team to impress me. (Like you’d be shocked if I said anything else?)

* And finally, many of you are bummed I’m sure about the lack of a power poll this week. Because this has been by far the most controversial portion of the blog over the past few years, I’d like to present to you a special year-end power poll dedicated just to Husker fans.

1 -11 Everybody else
12. Nebraska

That’s right…a guy who writes a Husker hating blog…who has spent 4 years and literally MILLIONS of words bashing your team…picked you LAST. Boy, I sure showed you guys. Man, that’s gotta sting.

(Yes, that’s sarcasm and yes, most have you take that thing way way way too seriously. Good Lord, get the hell over yourselves).

The slow walk to the gallows continues.

Bowls Galore

2008-12-10T15:21:00.005-06:00

With blog hits and interest in college football starting to shift away from it's breakneck pace during the annual three week period of shit known as mid December (until the Bowls start), the downward slide into the sporting abyss begins. We could sit here and chat about next year’s Husker juggernaut, but as you probably haven’t noticed…I really don’t care that much anymore. So with that, the already widening gap between new posts is going to continue to grow as we wind down and kill the mothership of the Husker hating movement.

I’ll probably prepare a preview of next year in the coming weeks, just as I’ll do my annual look back on my predictions and how the season shook out. (That should rattle the cage enough to get some of you clowns to chime in.) But in the end, this blog is on life support, and a mysterious ghostly guy with a flowing black robe and unrecognizable face just knocked on the door, holding a large sickle.

So with that being said, lets fast forward through the Creighton basketball losses and the national news stories of politicians who are (gasp) crooked. Let’s take a quick look at the Big 12’s unimpressive seven bowl games. As I claim during my annual August predictions, please remember these are for entertainment purposes only.

ALAMO BOWL - #25 Missouri vs. #22 Northwestern
*I’ve heard Missouri’s season described as disastrous, disappointing and a complete failure. With that being said, 2 of their losses were to 2 of the best 3 teams in the nation, while the other 2 were against bowl teams…one on the last play and one on the last drive. Northwestern brings a bit of a different wrinkle to stereotypical Big 10 speed or lack thereof. Because Northwestern runs the spread, look for the Tiger defense to continue to struggle. Collin Cowherd said today on air that picking bowls is easy, because you always want to decide based on who wants to be there and who doesn’t. I’m guessing Missouri would rather sit through a live taping of Deal or no Deal than be in San Antonio. Northwestern should come out fired up and pissed off due to Iowa’s selection over the Cats. Even then, Mizzou’s superior speed should be more than NU can handle….barely.

BEL prediction: Missouri 54 - Northwestern 41

HOLIDAY BOWL - #13 Oklahoma State vs. #15 Oregon
* As I’ve stated before, I have always loved the Holiday Bowl. Not sure why, but the matchups were always good and there is no city on earth cooler than San Diego. This might be one of the best matchups of the bowl season. Oregon hasn’t exactly blown people away in recent weeks, although they did look very good vs. Oregon State. Okie State has weapons galore, but I’m not sure they’ve seen a running team like Oregon. I haven’t seen the Vegas lines as of yet, but I can’t imagine they would be too far apart. Both teams had lopsided victories in mid level bowls last year. I’d be shocked if they separate that much this year. But…since Okie State is a bit more battle tested….

BEL prediction: Oklahoma State 45 - Oregon 38

INSIGHT BOWL – Kansas vs. Minnesota
* Yeesh. With the exception of their loss in Lincoln, KU at least can claim their losses have come to some pretty good opponents. As we saw in Kansas City 2 weeks ago, the Jayhawks’ potential rides squarely on how hard Todd Reesing plays. Whether Sodd gets excited over the JV scrimmage of Phoenix area bowl games is another story. The Gophers have parlayed a 7-1 record into a 7-5 nosedive that would make Greg Norman proud…including a 55 point home drubbing to a very mediocre Iowa team just before Thanksgiving. Not that KU is that much of a talent-laden superpower, but they certainly have more weapons than anything Minnesota has seen since they stepped off the field in Columbus. I hate to say this…but the KU bowl win streak against pathetic bowl competition looks to continue, and the redleggers will continue to pound their sweater vests in search of respect.

BEL prediction: Kansas 51 - Minnesota 17

GATOR BOWL - Nebraska vs. Clemson
* I’m not going to lie to you…I don’t know that many Clemson fans. However I do know a few things: They hate South Carolina, Their baseball team is good, They fired a Bowden and their education rankings are one of the lowest in the nation. How else can you explain fans in orange swarming to a shitty city to watch their 5 loss underachieving team take on a mediocre former champion? Well, for one they’ve won their last three games…granted they were against a rival and two horrible ACC teams in Duke and Virginia. (not Tech). I do know they also have some pretty good athletes on defense. They also have to be salivating over your crappy 5 walk-on playing ass on the defensive side of the ball as well. Despite the fact that Nebraska sucks balls, this is a pretty good matchup for a Clemson team that was supposed to turn a corner this year. Revenge for 1982 my ass.

BEL Prediction: Clemson 31 - Nebraska 17

COTTON BOWL - # 20 Mississippi vs. #8 Texas Tech
* Another pretty good matchup that doesn’t look that good at first glance. Everybody points to Tech’s insane offense and 11-1 record. And yes, they were the only team to beat Texas…pretty much anywhere. But Tech has a bad habit of playing down to the competition, especially when there isn’t much to play for. (See Baylor 2 weeks ago or the hicks last month.) Ole Miss is another one of those SEC teams that plays defense like a mother, but has trouble scoring points…well, at least against good teams. But they’ve scored 31 or more points in three straight games. Something tells me the Rebs will have something to prove, and Texas Tech will be more worried about fielding Mike Leach questions.

BEL Prediction: Mississippi 42 - Texas Tech 38

FIESTA BOWL - #3 Texas vs. #10 Ohio State
* Texas is really really really pissed off. Usually when teams get slighted..or feel they get slighted, they tend to slink off to their bowl game, and continue to wonder what might have been. But I’ve spoken to quite a few UT fans in recent weeks, and if their players are 1/100th as pissed off as their fans…then you may as well get ready now to click over to the History Channel after the first quarter. OSU was destroyed by USC, and I’d argue to say Texas isn’t that far away from USC, if they’re even behind them at all. This is to me, the most lopsided of all the BCS games.

BEL Prediction: Texas 41 - Ohio State 21

BCS CHAMPIONSHIP - #2 Oklahoma vs. #1 Florida
* If Nice guys finish last, Bob Stoops should be favored by triple digits in this one. I saw with my own eyes the offensive power that Oklahoma has in its arsenal, and I’m not exactly sure what Florida has to match it. Granted, Tim Tebow is unlike anybody OU has ever seen, I have trouble thinking they’ll be able to keep up with the pace that OU runs with. The key is Florida putting pressure on Sam Bradford…who let’s face it..we don’t know how he does under pressure, because he never comes under pressure. Florida is good but not great in sacks and tackles for loss. Not nearly good enough to get to Bradford as Texas did way back when. This should be close, but I’d be shocked if OU was challenged past the 3rd quarter.

BEL Prediction: Oklahoma 41 - Florida 27

Ice Ice Baby

2008-12-07T16:38:00.009-06:00

It sure is nice to get the feeling back in my fingers and toes.

Yes, I spent my evening in Kansas City, watching my team get ass-pounded on National TV, in sub freezing temperatures. Sure, I should have seen it coming…everybody saw it coming. However, I figured this being the last championship game in Kansas City for God knows how long..I owed it to myself and my favorite team to go check it out.

After a pleasant evening of college athletics, a few observations:

1) Stop saying, “Even the Huskers would have given OU a better game than that”. No, they wouldn’t have. Almost nobody would have. The only reason Texas did, was because they have the physical front-four to put pressure on Bradford. Nobody else does…and no, Florida won’t either. That team is steamrolling everyone, and nothing anybody can do will stop it.

2) Bradford is NOT a Heisman candidate in my eyes. You want to give a Heisman to Bradford? Fine, but give it to his offensive line. Those guys are the largest humans I”ve ever seen, and NOBODY got within 8 yards of Bradford. I could throw for 250 yards behind that line. They are unreal. Don't get me wrong, the Mizzou pass rush isn't too great, but I'm not even sure Bardford had to wash his uniform last night. It was one of the most amazing offensive line performances I've ever seen in person.

3) Bob Stoops is a great coach. He’s smart, he savvy and he’s a master of motivation. With that being said, he doesn’t graduate his players, he’s a crybaby jackass and one of the most unethical game commanders the world has seen since Idi Amin. Running it up, crying about calls when up 40 points...making up fake quotes about the opposing team or general douchebaggery makes Big Game Bob the single biggest asshole in sports, and that includes Tom Osborne. (So yes, I’m serious about this.) What a prick. Oh, and after spending 3 hours with Oklahoma's finest..I'm 100% sure I could write the exact same blog as this one...if given 23 years of hell in Oklahoma City. Great team...horrible people.

4) Missouri has a lot of weapons. Missouri has enough weapons to win a lot of games. But Missouri will never get past that “woe is us mentality” that has nagged them since the mid 80’s. Don’t get me wrong, they started to get over that hump last year, and the overall talent is there, but still, it finds a way to creep back into the conciousness of everyone involved. Don't get me wront though, I’ll take losing a Championship game ANY DAY over being relegated to 1pm on a Saturday with no TV. But make no mistake…they are held back by their own minds. Whether that is the coaches, captains or everyday players..I’m not sure.

5) Hey "Ruff-Neck" jackoffs: Just because you wear short sleaves, doesn't make you any less of a male cheerleader. Neither does shooting a gun every 10 minutes. It only makes you an armed male cheerleader with zero common sense.

And finally…one thing I do know is this:

I rip on Nebraska fans for being a 2 million strong band of hayseed inbreeds who spend their lives trying to convince you how great they are. However, in light of last night…I will give you people this one thing…at least you care.

Missouri lost before the game was even kicked off last night, because Missouri fans…for whatever reason still unclear, decided not to show up and support their team. Instead of packing Arrowhead to the brim with a 2 month head start on ticket purchases…they decided to either stay home on their warm couch, or sell their tickets to Oklahoma fans...who apparently had no problem with the cold, the transportation or the ability to find a babysitter. (Assuming their cross-eyed kids aren’t still out in the parking lot in the truck, which very well could have been the case.)

I’ve never claimed Missouri fans to be anything other than surly, but last night was the first time in a long time that I’ve actually been ashamed. I’m not sure the exact cause; perhaps it was the loss to KU and the rotten weather…but they showed the entire world that they…as one…are not ready to join the upper echelon of big-time programs in the country.

Blame it on a bad match up, a bad season or whatever you like…there is absolutely ZERO excuse for throwing up your hands and quitting. How can you expect your team to fight on against the odds if you can’t even find the time to show up yourself and support the team you claim to live and die with?

This goes against a lot of what I stand for, because God knows I can find enough reasons to hate Nebraska and their idiot fans. But I will say this…even if they were 45 point underdogs, those hayseeds would have found a way to swarm those tickets, and keep the 40,000 or so OU fans who did show up out of Arrowhead. I can handle the missed assignments, the horrible defense or Chase Daniel suddenly playing like a high school sophomore. But bitching about your team and then not supporting it…IN YOUR OWN STATE with a 2 month head start on tickets is absolutely 100% unacceptable.

The difference I guess is, at least we as Missouri fans don’t claim to be the greatest in the country…only the most downtrodden. Not too tough to lose that tag when you create such golden opportunities for failure, long before the game even kicks off.

However, despite the gross brutality of spirit shown by Missouri fans..or lack thereof in this case, it’s still hard to get down too much on the Tigers. They did win 9 games…possibly 10 with a match up against a mediocre Big 10 team in Texas later this month. It’s also pretty hard to complain too loud when you are throwing your hands up in despair, and you’re coming off back-to-back division titles.

Coming up this week, we’ll take a look back at this season, before we preview the bowls, and kiss the Husker hating movement goodbye. Until then, you can figure out new and exciting ways on how you’re going to spin the Gator Bowl being a titanic match up that combines speed, tradition and 9 combined losses.

Dead Blog Walking

2008-12-02T20:48:00.006-06:00

This is how I know the end is near.

Here you all are…fresh off your EPIC win over a so-tough-they-should-be-ranked-but-aren't Colorado team… Now you’re set to go to another NEW YEARS DAY BOWL!!!!! You’re feeling confident. You're feeling good. You’re feeling great about the future. You’re feeling great about order finally being restored.

And it’s still hard for me to even find the strength to mock you.

I figured that once you have your little uprising that it would inject life into my little online crusade here. I figured I’d listen to local radio..maybe receive a few e-mails from friends and co-workers and I’d be right back to hating your guts in no time. After all as I’ve said for ages…it’s WAY WAY easier to write this column when you are winning. Watching you implode into a giant fireball was fun…but even your pseudo run at miniature glory isn’t enough to make me care all that much. But unfortunately...even today....nothing.

You still haven’t beaten a top 20 team since Joe Ganz was in Junior High. You haven’t beaten a top 20 team on the road since most of you were in junior high. You’ve prayed on the meek for the victories you DO get and fall short in pretty much every test you’ve taken since Miami was done wiping the floor with you in the Rose Bowl way back when.

And yet none of that has really changed. Oh sure, you’ll beat the teams you are supposed to beat. And sure, some teams still crumble at the sight of all those 80 year olds in matching sweaters 8 Saturday’s out of the fall. But in the end, that BIG STEP, that “return to greatness” is still nearly as far away today as it was the day Steve Pederson stepped up to the microphone, and made you national laughingstocks for the entire world to chuckle at. Wish as you might…you still should be embarassed to celebrate such menial goals that would barely even make the post-season banquet “other accomplishments” section of past Husker teams.

I’m not jumping ship just as you are ‘returning to glory’. I heard all of this back in 2006. No, I’m jumping ship because I know what is going to happen. I know Bo Pelini is parlaying mediocre talent leftover from the Callahan administration, and maximizing it against some of the worst collections of conference foes in Big 12 history.

I may not be there in a year or two to remind you of this when it happens..but rest assured, you will remember my words, and shake your head in reluctant disbelief that I called your demise yet again…even if for one year, you are too blinded with giddy mediocrity to even see it.

Ho hum…same shit…every other year.

**

I’d be failing you if I didn’t at least mention the gigantic shit-spat going on nationally this week, as Oklahoma once again gets over on Texas for the right to take on Missouri at Arrowhead. (What do you have going on Saturday night? Anything special planned?) Anyhow, you all know the argument and you all know the reasons why or why not the Big 12 did the right thing by handing the opportunity to advance to Oklahoma. However, if you want to get technical about the whole thing…the real key here is Missouri.

Why Missouri?

Because if Mizzou had actually lived up to their pre-season hype..and actually become the team lots of people (outside of this state) thought they would be…then this “outrage” would be coming from a completely different angle. Hell, even if more of you sold your souls and actually became a dominant power again (sorry..had to stop and giggle to myself for a bit thinking of your “big win” over toothless Colorado)…even if the Huskers sat at 12-0, the griping today would be coming DIRECTLY from Bob Stoops’ desk...not Mack Brown.

Why? Because in this exact same scenario, Oklahoma would be bitching about having to play an EXTRA game in Big 12 North territory against a team that…for the sake of this scenario…could knock them out of title contention, all while Texas stays home and watch. Granted, it’s big-risk and big-reward, but don’t think for a second that all of this is due to 30 minutes of awful Missouri football in Austin. Take that away, and there isn’t NEARLY as much “outrage” across the land.

This is a big deal because everybody assumes the Missouri game is a glorified scrimmage. Even if it is, the media firestorm caused by this is laughable...considering history has taught us lessons like this before.

**

Speaking of Missouri, I’m guessing you all want my take on just how the hell I’m going to spin something positive for the Tigers as they head into Kansas City Saturday as anywhere from 15 to 17 point underdogs.

Some of you probably don’t remember this..but those of you who were here during 2005 and 2006 know that I actually do bash my own team when it’s appropriate. The problem for the rest of you is..Mizzou has won 21 games in less than 2 complete seasons, and in the gigantic outhouse that is the Big 12 North, that’s crappy enough competition overall to make any good team appear great. That's why it appears I'm such a "Mizzou homer". If I had a reason to really bash them...trust me, I would.

Anyhow, both teams are coming in hobbled. Oklahoma is down to their 4th string middle linebacker, and Sam Bradford is set to have surgery following the game on his thumb. Mizzou has Chase Coffman playing at less than 100% with turf toe, and reports on Jeremy Maclin’s availability continue to be sketchy regarding his status. (There are even rumors of Chase Daniel having shoulder problems over the past few weeks, but I can’t really substantiate those without sounding like a pussy homer, so I shall digress.)

Anyhow, I’m going to agree with the masses that the Tigers have less than even a slim chance of pulling off the upset. Oklahoma landed SEVEN players on the 1st team All-Big 12 team. SEVEN. Think about how absolutely ridiculously stupid that is. Granted, Missouri is playing at home, but one look at local ticket agencies show that Tiger nation is following Wall Street’s recent lead, and dumping tickets to OU fans at an alarming rate. (And yes, as quick as I am to point out what rotten, horrible fans you idiots are in this state…I am just as quick to point out that my own team has some of the worst. Unlike you though…it doesn’t keep me up at night worrying what others think about my team.)

Regardless, although completely undermanned, Missouri does have a LOT of intangibles going for them this weekend, most notably is the fact that these are 18-22 year old kids who are motivated/unmotivated by the simplest of things. I remember in my playing days that the quickest way to get a team fired up, is to hear from those around you that you can’t do something. Sounds corny, but we see this time and time again in college football. One team comes prepared..the other doesn’t.

Look at last week’s Missouri vs. Kansas game for perfect examples of that theory.

The other major item I see in play is two fold. The first is Oklahoma’s defense. OU has given up more points in Big 12 play than Missouri has, which is a pretty bold feat considering how bad the Tigers have played the pass this year. In order for the OU beatdown to take place, the Sooner D is going to have to get into Mizzou’s head with a few 3 and outs early on…just as KU did last week. The Tiger offense is potent, but they’ve shown very little ability to keep their heads up after getting hit with body blows early in games. Jump up 14 points early, and the stadium will be nearly empty by halftime, with temps expected to be in the low 20's during the game.

The second factor is turnovers..which is pretty obvious. Oklahoma is +20 in turnover margin this year, which like the All-conference nods, is completely ridiculous. Also ridiculous is the fact that OU has fumbled the football 14 times. But that's not the ridiculous part. No the ridiculous part is, they’ve only lost ONE of those. Hell, drop a football in front of yourself in your living room, and see if you can fall directly on it with nobody around you. Odds are you probably won’t get it right away 13 out of 14 times. Not sure if that's luck or skill, but it's certainly something to keep in mind. OU doesn't hurt themselves...ever.

Anyhow, yours truly will be there rain or frozen..live from the upper deck of Arrowhead, decked in multiple layers and filled to the brim with bourbon and God knows what else. I’m not about to make any stupid predictions that Missouri is going to shock the world, because I think it would take a TON of things to go right for that to happen. However, there is enough talent playing in front of a mostly home crowd that would keep things from getting out of hand.

I may change my mind later in the week, but right now, my gut is a 49-39 Oklahoma win. The cold, the crowd, the expectations and a Mizzou team that actually shows up, should keep OU from hitting on all cylinders. Did I mention Missouri kept OU under 400 yards in both their meetings last year? Hmmmmmmm…..

Power Poll

NORTH:
(* Probable slot)

1) Missouri (9-3, 5-3) vs. Oklahoma @Kansas City – Tigers take on the world Saturday vs. the Soviet Union of college football teams. After a tough loss Saturday, is there enough gas in the tank to make a run at OU? Will they finally find the guts that made them a top 5 team last season? Probably not..but we shall see. Stranger things have happened.

2) Kansas (7-5, 4-4) @ Insight.com Bowl* - Rumor has it KU is going to forfeit the annual bowl in Arizona, and continue to celebrate it’s annual Super Bowl vs. Missouri throughout the new year. Joking aside as I said earlier this week, they did earn it. Where was that team all year? That's the question I would ask if I was a KU fan. (Right after I figure out who drank my last Zima and stole my Kenny G album)

3) Nebraska (8-4, 5-3) @ Gator Bowl - The greatest Cinderella story ever told ends in the fantastic southern Camelot known as Jacksonville against one of the toughest teams in the nation…Clemson. This battle is sure to be the talk of the college football world, as dozens of overweight farmers will hop on planes to figure out Clemson is decent, even MAC teams get to play after January 1st and Jacksonville is not only a toilet, but it really isn't that warm.

4) Colorado (5-7, 2-6) Season Complete – Great showing by Dan Hawkins’ team in light of a crushing defeat. One has to wonder how much of a springboard that game will be going into 2009, and just how their year would have changed had they actually rushed NU’s geek kicker before he struck the ball. As if they needed another reason to hate Nebraska.

5) Kansas State (5-7, 2-6) Season Complete – Bill Snyder is already working the KC area, making appearances and hopping on the recruiting trail. He’s not actually serious about this coaching thing, is he? I mean..it was all fun and jokes for a while..but he's still acting like he's the coach. You mean you guys were SERIOUS about him coming back? Whoa.

6) Iowa State (2-10, 0-8) Season Complete – Clones starting off the hoops season fairly well at 4-1 with their only loss a tough decision at Hawaii.

SOUTH

1) Oklahoma (11-1, 7-1) vs. Missouri @Kansas City - The Sooners have now spent the better part of two weeks listening to how they are the greatest offense in the history of college football. Tickets to Miami are booked, and national pundits are already breaking down an OU vs. Florida/Alabama match up. Anybody who doesn’t see this coming….

2) Texas (11-1, 7-1) @ TBD – Texas has a right to be pissed…somewhat. However, the bitching and crying going on in cyberspace and in the media is out of control. You’re fucking Texas..you run the league. It’s not like you’re going to suddenly suck next year. When Jerry Jones gets the Big 12 title game permanently, you’ll have a lifetime home-field advantage. Yes you got screwed. Life sucks, wear a lifejacket.

3) Texas Tech (11-1, 7-1) @ Cotton Bowl* - Granted, they got crushed by OU..but wasn’t that in Norman? The Raiders may be the most dissed 1 loss BCS conference team in the history of college football. Perhaps scheduling an actual 1-A team in the non-conference season is in order next year?

4) Oklahoma State (9-3, 5-3) @ Holiday Bowl* - Just as I’ve said all year..the Cowboys have a great team..but they just aren’t deep enough to beat the big boys. Great effort on Saturday, but not no semblance of defense. A trip to San Diego is a nice consolation prize though.

5) Baylor (4-8, 2-6) Season Complete – I’m 100% positive, without a shadow of a doubt that Baylor is the single greatest 8 loss team in the history of college football. Did you see the Tech game Saturday? God help the poor team that has to go down there next year and…heh…oh wait.

6) Texas A&M (4-8, 2-6) Season Complete – Pitchers and catchers report for spring baseball in 4 short weeks.

Border WAR

2008-11-29T16:33:00.004-06:00

Props to my few red-legged KU readers for their team's performance at Arrowhead this afternoon. What started out as just another Mizzou tank job of years gone by, turned into one of the best college football games I've seen this year. Anybody who doesn't think KU will have some sort of say in the Big 12 North next year is an idiot (ie- Husker fans), and that's 100% due to Reesing and the receivers he has coming back.

That little hobbit turned in one of the true great performances I've seen...and even as a fan who hates his guts and the soil he walks on, I can recognize a truly great performance. I'm also pretty proud of my own team, considering they very easily could have packed it up on a cold and snowy day, with their true prize sitting inside the same stadium this time next week.

But regardless, it's a great rivalry, because MOST of us can agree..at least for a short while..the records can go out the window, and it is a thrill to watch two teams who truly hate each other fire every shell they have at each other. Coffman, Meier, Maclin, Sharpe etc...all of these kids battling injury, gutting it out on the field for really what amounts to a game that is completely meaningless sans the bragging rights.

So with that..here's to you KU fan. You've earned your time to crow and you should be proud of your effort. As for you Husker fans who are throwing out kicker smack, "Co-Champions" and other ridiculous amounts of weak propaganda...just remember this:

You had your shot at that "shitty" team in your own stadium, with 85,000 of your own fans. You had history, momentum and a national TV audience on your side. All you had to do was beat a team once...the same way you had since 1978....and yet you couldn't. Not only could you not, but you got gutted like a trout and lost by nearly 6 TD's.

You have earned nothing. Your proxy bashing is humorous to me, in that I used to catch shit from Husker fans about National Titles, Heisman trophies and 63-6 wins over my team. Now I hear from you all about a rivalry loss and a Big 12 North title game appearance that ended a 9 win season. (Something Missouri has only done a handful of times in my lifetime.)

I wish I had a mirror for you people, because you look like idiots.

KU fans, props to you for your win, and good luck in your bowl. Husker fans, see ya at Arrowhead next week wearing your OU or Texas Tech gear.

"I've Paid my Dues...Time After Time"

2008-11-28T18:56:00.006-06:00

Wow, what a thriller.

Mega props to my Husker readers for restoring order on National TV this afternoon. Oh sure you gave up 31 points at home to the #91 ranked offense in the nation...and who cares if you needed a miracle field goal to make up from yet another boneheaded mistake by your senior QB? It was a huge win! And mostly…huge props to Suh the spitter on making the most of his opportunity at the end of the game with his brilliant interception. Other than gouging somebody's eyeballs between his fingers at the bottom of a pile…that’s probably the biggest thrill he’s had all year.

Regardless, Husker nation is in a tizzy tonight…celebrating the Big Red Revolution of 2008. Well...kinda..except for that other North team in front of you that beat you by 5 TD’s in Lincoln and oh yeah..also beat that team you just squeaked by 58-0. But besides all that, you’ve taken mediocrity to an entirely new level and shown the world you are back. You have now surpassed the other juggernauts of the north, and parlayed you’re your “tradition” and “name” into an amazing 8 win season; highlighted by having only one win over a team with a winning record. Bravo!

In all seriousness though….

This whole thing is funny to me, because the standard retort to those first few paragraphs is for sure going to be…”oh yeah…do you know how awful we were last year! 8 wins is a miracle!”

Ok, 8 wins might be a miracle, but just how much of that last year was a result of your “talent”, “work ethic” and most of all…your ridiculous expectations? If you recall, you guys beat Wake Forest last year on the road. (Granted, Wake was starting a 9th string QB and nearly won at the end..but still.) You also beat the hell out of Nevada…which went on to have a damn good season.

The point is…you did suck last year and you certainly deserved every single bit of mocking laughter you received from both me..and others around the league. But just how much of an “improvement” are you talking here? Are you REALLY that much better than the team that whipped Nevada and squeaked by Wake on the road? Are you REALLY that much better now that you’ve beaten Colorado by 9 at home, rather than losing by 14 on the road? Are you that much better beating Kansas State by 28 on the road rather than 42 at home? Are you really that much better beating Kansas….ok…Kansas has gone into the toilet, and you’ve passed them completely. But still.

In the end, the difference in your team from this year to last is two fold: First, your players haven’t quit on a dime like Eric Crouch at the first day of the combine. For that, I will give you limited credit. Not because Bo Pelini has done some sort of miracle work here…but that last year’s mental disaster was well beyond anything most teams have ever seen.

And second, your season changed this season because of three things: Kansas, Colorado and Texas A&M. Of those three losses on your schedule from 2007, these are the losses that were turned into wins for 2008. So when we look at those three extra wins in more detail: We all know what sort of problems Kansas has. Colorado…as we saw tonight…isn’t exactly head and shoulders below you…coming within 1:34 and a miracle field goal away from winning on the road. And A&M was basically swapped on the schedule this year by Baylor..who won a whopping 4 games this season.

Your defense is still crappy at best (ranked 91st in scoring). You still can’t get a turnover to save your life (110th in the country in turnover margin), although apparently your lineman can hold onto the ball when it hits them in the gut. The only thing that has really changed was tonight's game was in Lincoln rather than Boulder...Kansas has completely gone into the toilet…and A&M was swapped out on the schedule with Baylor.

Other than that…I really don’t see that much of a difference.

But regardless, 8 win seasons are now something to celebrate around here..and celebrate you will! I honestly hope this magic carpet ride of 5 yard gains and constant mediocrity have been as much of a thrill for you as they have for me. Next up is a mid-level ACC team that is probably about as over-valued as you are. Granted, we will see how the chips fall…but for this one moment in time…you have taken that great big mythical step “back” to where you once never really were.

As for the game itself…a couple of thoughts:

- That fake field goal might have been the worst call I’ve ever seen in my life in any sport, at any level. (And to think you people used to bash the GRF for that stuff) I understand your coach isn’t exactly an offensive/special teams genius…but there are JV teams in North Dakota that wouldn’t have been stupid enough to run that.

- Hell of a kick by Henry in a clutch situation. Dude is going to be so popular tonight, he may actually get to kiss a girl. Dude looks like the love child of Bill Gates and Tina Fey...so props to him.

- Also nice to see the Spitter get a great pick to end the game and send farm nation into a frenzy. I’ll give that thug some credit..he sure knows how to get his hands up when the ball is coming right at his face. That really takes some talent.

- Finally, I get into it with some friends of mine often about the value of Joe Ganz. Now I will readily admit, I have more than my share of criticism of Joe Ganz over the past 18 months or so, but he really does do a nice job of keeping the game in front of him, and simply making simple passes. Nothing fancy..never does he thread a needle or put a 50 yard bomb into somebody outstretched arms…just a nice solid QB.

But that kid needs to get his head out of his ass when he’s running backwards on 3rd and 10 from the 30 with time running out. Both his fumble earlier in the quarter and the horrible decision to run backwards late in the game nearly cost his team a huge win over a sub-mediocre team. I will fully admit he is exactly the type of guy who can run your vanilla offense with precision and confidence. But those of you who are trying to convince me that he is in the same conversation as Harrell, Bradford, McCoy, Daniel and Robinson are absolutely stoned. Had he started as a freshman, he would have had a shot…but with only 15 games of experience…he’s still fully capable of making a killer mistake at any time.

And with that..it’s time for the bowl lull. Time for a full 3-4 weeks of nothingness before any meaningful football games take place to occupy the time during cold December nights. The quiet early winter air will be light, as deafening silence fills the airwaves. Gone will be the sounds of cracking shoulder pads, the squeeling voice of Ron Franklin and the giddy anticipation that greets each and every Saturday morning.

Well, I actually only meant you. My team is playing for the conference title next week.

Tah tah for now.

AJ

(Photo Credit AP and Lincoln Journal Star)

Sooner Sweet Home

2008-11-24T20:03:00.007-06:00

So much stuff going on this week all of a sudden…let’s hop to it.

**

Why is everybody SO shocked that Texas Tech got worked over like a two bit whore on Saturday in Norman? Seriously, was it that big of a surprise? Did anybody bother to look at Mike Leach’s road record? Did anybody bother to look at Oklahoma’s home record? Did anybody realize that OU plays in big games like that several times..EVERY year. Did anybody realize Texas Tech had never been positioned like that..pretty much ever?

It boggles my mind why people tend to look past these items, and fail to look at the big picture. Granted, that is different than picking Nebraska to win 4 games, because if you remember…yours truly was not counting on the complete and total collapse of Kansas State and Kansas this season either. In other words…I still think you are shitty and will be proven as such…I just think those around you have sunk even faster than you did. Regardless and back to my point…people tend to look away at blinding factors when prognosticating college football games. Let’s take a look at what I’m talking about.

Everybody today is ready to anoint Oklahoma University as the greatest team in the land, and rightfully so. They have probably the best QB in the country…they have talent all over the field and just as I told you back in August…they are simply better than everyone else. That has not changed.

But have you taken a good hard look at OU over the past few years? Have you realized that nearly every one of their of their “dominant performances" have been at home? Have you counted to see how many of those “dominant” performances have been on the road or hell, even on a neutral site? I’ll save you the trouble of looking. Below is OU’s record vs. ranked (and a couple of unranked) teams in neutral or road environments. Notice their lone tough "road" game this year was in Dallas:

2008
At #5 Texas in Dallas (Lost 35-45)

2007
At unranked Colorado (Lost 24-27)
Vs. #19 Texas at Dallas (Won 28-21)
At unranked Texas Tech (Lost 27-34)
Vs. #1 Missouri at San Antonio (Won 38-17)
Vs. #11 West Virginia at Glendale, AZ (Lost 28-48)

2006
At #18 Oregon (Lost 33-34)
Vs. #7 Texas at Dallas (Lost 10-28)
At. #23 Missouri (Won 26-10)
At #21 Texas A&M (Won 17-16)
Vs. #18 Nebraska in Kansas City (Won 21-7)
Vs. #9 Boise State at Glendale, AZ (Lost 42-43 OT)

Not exactly un-beatable numbers now is it?

Granted, I will give Oklahoma credit…a couple of those losses were due to either poorly timed injuries to key players (Tech last year), horrible officiating (at Oregon) and or numerous trick plays (Boise). Regardless, the same people that are anointing Oklahoma as the greatest team on earth this week, are the same people who haven’t realized the fact that Bob Stoops isn’t anywhere nearly as dominant away from home. Hell, the biggest win on that list was last year’s Big 12 title game against Missouri..and even then, they were tied at halftime. (Plus, according to many of you, Missouri sucks anyway)

My point is..there is a lot of football left to play, and don’t be surprised if these “shocking” upsets happen that really aren’t so shocking. All it takes is a couple of seconds to look at the big picture.

**

Word out of Manhattan today is that Count Billula is back in charge in Manhattan.

I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this "hire". On one hand, how much worse could he really be? Ron Prince never was truly embarrassed by KSU fans, and was obviously out of his element on the sidelines during games. I think Ron Prince has a shot of being a decent coach somewhere down the line..but in order to win in central Kansas, you have to have a few tricks up your sleeve. The man may be an excellent coordinator or position coach, but he was obviously in over his head with his own team. (Although you have to tip your hat to KSU at the time for taking the chance on a relatively unproven African-American candidate.)

With that being said, can today’s high school player truly relate to Snyder and his old-school ways? I understand he pulled a miracle out of his..uhh..hat... back in the mid 90’s, but does he really have enough time left to rebuild that? And how much does Kansas and Missouri suddenly being strong impact him in recruiting? And don’t people remember his last two seasons as head coach, where he struggled to make a bowl his final year.

I’m not going to say it’s a failure in waiting…KSU really didn’t have many choices here. But it’s definitely an eyebrow raiser if anything. At the very least, I’m looking forward to more hate being generated by Husker fans who obviously, are not big fans of Bill Snyder and his past body of work.

Time will certainly tell.

**

I’m not sure I’ve heard anything more funny than the Omaha media’s sudden love with the Gator bowl and the city of Jacksonville. Now as you may know, I’ve been lucky enough to travel the country, and visit cities from coast to coast. Let the record show that a possible 8-4 season for Nebraska, not only demonstrates that you didn’t choke against teams they shouldn’t beat…but that Order has finally been restored by participating in the same bowl that Virginia went to last season. Either way, not being sucked into the abyss of other North teams has served you well this season, although it probably doesn’t help King Bo in the long run. (More on that later this week, and yes...even Charlie Weis had a good first year)

Regardless, I realize I am a TAD bit biased here…but don’t you think you people should actually visit Jacksonville, FL before you start singing it’s praises? Look, I realize it’s a large-scale miracle that you parlayed shitty coaching and zero talent into a “successful”* season. (* considering you won 9 games per year for 30 years…but hey…gotta start small right?)

But trust me when I say that the Gator Bowl is a “New Year’s Day Bowl” in the calendar sense only. I’m sure this will fall on deaf ears, and I don’t expect you to listen to ANY of this…but when you get off the plane, and suddenly feel like you’re in a warmer version of Erie, Pennsylvania…you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you’re suddenly longing for the dusty festival atmosphere of El Paso. (That is if you don’t choke to CU first)

Not sure why, but all this talk about how great "Florida" is in January. Obviously those people haven't been to Jacksonville. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Power Poll time

NORTH:

1) Missouri (9-2, 5-2) vs. Kansas @KC – The oldest hate week of them all goes down at Arrowhead this weekend. Not even close to last year in spotlight appeal, Mizzou attempts to run over a porous KU defense while trying not to think about the freight train coming that is OU or Texas.

2) Kansas (6-5, 3-4) vs. Missouri @KC – As I type this, I haven’t heard what the status is of Jake Sharpe or Kerry Meier. Then again, neither of them play defense, and KU is giving up 9,000 yards a game. I learned long ago not to assume anything in rivalry games, but KU is going to need Reesing to play out of his ass to keep this close. I expect it to be close for a while, but no way does KU have the horses to stick around for a full 60 minutes.

3) Colorado (5-6, 2-5) at Nebraska – Never before has a trip to Shreveport looked so good, as Dan Hawkins and his team gimps into Hickville for their annual post-Thanksgiving love fest with Nebraska. CU has had all sorts of trouble scoring late, although Nebraska is thinking awfully highly of itself these days. (Despite doing nothing but beating KU by 10 and getting by a KSU team that quit.) I didn’t think CU had a shot here..but I’m changing my tune quickly as I hear NU fans making plans for Jacksonville. You'd think 1996 would have taught them a lesson.

4) Nebraska (7-4, 4-3) vs. Colorado – A team with as little talent as Nebraska (and don’t kid yourself…you don’t have that much talent), can not afford to look past ANYONE…let alone a team that hates you. The key question here is whether or not Colorado can dig down and catch Hick nation sleepwalking. Take it from a guy who’s team has sucked over the years. You don’t look past people til you have earned it. (And no, earning it 12 years ago doesn’t count)

5) Kansas State (5-7, 2-6) Season Complete – Bill Snyder returns to Manhattan in one of the more interesting moves of the off-season. (that hasn’t even begun yet.) The question now is what sort of staff can he put together, and when he pushes Josh Freeman to improve, will it be enough to make him snap. No team will be more interesting to watch this off-season than KSU.

6) Iowa State (2-10, 0-8) Season Complete – ISU’s basketball team is pretty good. I think they play Hawaii tonight or something. Remember that time they made it to the Elite 8? Yeah, that was cool.

SOUTH:

1) Oklahoma (10-1, 6-1) at Oklahoma State – As we’ve seen in OU’s road games over the past few years..the Sooners are a different team away from Norman. However, Okie State is just enough of a rivalry to keep their minds focused on this Saturday. Okie State’s struggle with Colorado has me wondering if they have enough left in the tank.

2) Texas (10-1, 6-1) vs. Texas A&M - Texas is but an Oklahoma State win away from possibly playing for a national title, without winning their division outright. (Sound familiar hicks?) Hanging by a thread, Texas needs only to dispose of A&M to ensure themselves of at least a BCS birth (most likely). Funny thing is…how many times have bad A&M teams beaten good Texas teams? Doesn’t matter. Won’t happen this year.

3) Texas Tech (10-1, 6-1) vs. Baylor – Tech is going to be plenty pissed off, as Baylor comes to town this week. The Raiders haven’t had to bounce back from anything this year, so it will be interesting to see how they will do. Robert Griffin is just good enough to make you pay for sleepwalking…just as Tech did against mediocre teams in Nevada and Nebraska. Which one shows up? My guess is, the one that throttled KU earlier in the year.

4) Oklahoma State (9-2, 5-2) vs. Oklahoma – Okie State has a lot on the line this weekend. Not only would they knock OU’s National Title hopes out the window…but an Okie State win would put a feather in the cap of Mike Gundy, who has done one gekk if a job this season. Unfortunately, I don’t think OSU has the horses to go up and down the field…but if Big Game Bob Stoops and his team are already looking toward Arrowhead, they could be in trouble. By far, the most interesting game of the weekend.

5) Baylor (4-7, 2-5) at Texas Tech – Baylor came pretty damn close to making a bowl this year, which is an absolute miracle if you think about it. Most of the team is back next year, as the Bears came just a few games short of being one of the Cinderella teams of the conference.

6) Texas A&M (4-7, 2-5) at Texas – The Sherman era is off to a roaring start this season. However, of all the rivalry games in America, this one seems to always be one of the craziest. There is some serious hatred between these two teams…but even the strongest effort in the world is going to be enough to stop Cold McCoy and company.

Farewell Ode to the Buffs

2008-11-22T14:26:00.007-06:00

Husker nation, I’m proud of you. You’ve managed to take a perfectly lame bye week and turn it into a biting, nasty altercation with Colorado fans who may not have much ammo to fight with, but hate your guts yes the same.

Yes, it’s Rivalry Week Light, and hate is back in the air…sweeping through the chilled plains with a biting sting that is meant only for the downtrodden. Don’t get me wrong…I still think your team is a sham and is benefiting from your name and a complete and total lack of competitive foes to play in the North…but nonetheless, you’ve hopped back on your high horse, and started flailing your arms at whomever you can find.

This is the last Colorado vs. Nebraska week for this blog, and I think I would be selling myself short if I failed to give a special shout out to my good friends and brothers-in-arms from the Rockies. As I’ve stated many times, I think I share a special spot in my heart for the Buffs and their fans…and not just because they are the largest collection of readers I have outside of Missouri and Nebraska. (Although KSU is close)

No, coming to Nebraska in 1986, it was clear to me at that time that Husker fans really only felt threatened by Barry Switzer and the Sooners. However, that same first fall saw the mighty corn fall 20-10 to Colorado in a game that saw the vaunted Husker offense rush for a whopping 123 yards. After beating Florida State, Illinois and Missouri that year, this was my first exposure to crying Husker fans up close after a loss. That indifference and whiney egocentric arrogance laid the groundwork for the Husker hating movement you see today, all those years later. Husker fans were pissed...but to most, it was simply a mild setback in the march to another 10+ win season.

Fast forward to 1989, when the Buffs quickly became something more than a nuisance to the Hicks. The Huskers had demolished everyone in their path, scoring at least 42 points in every game but one prior to the November 4th game in Boulder.

The two teams met as #2 and #3 on that day…fighting for a #1 ranking and most likely a trip to the Orange Bowl. Colorado rode the legs of J.J. Flannigan and Darian Hagan, but still found themselves clinging to a 6 point lead with 1:40 to go in the game. Husker legend and future Frank Solich lackey at Ohio, Gerry "The Fremont Capgun" Gdowski marched the hicks down the semi-frozen turf to the CU 40, but on 4th down, a pass across the middle was tipped away, sending Folsom Field into a frenzy, and propelled the Buffs to a National Title showdown with Notre Dame.

The Huskers finished outside the top 10 for the first time in 4 seasons that year…and wouldn’t see that rarefied air again until Byron Bennett’s 46 yard field goal sailed wide left in the 93’ Orange Bowl.

No, what that win by Bill McCartney’s team did was open up the opportunity for teams NOT named Oklahoma to move beyond simply becoming an “annoyance” and start becoming something far more piercing. Kansas State would pick up the torch later in the 90’s. By all accounts, Missouri now holds that title in the new millennium. But until that game in 1989, other teams within the Big 8 simply melted away prior to kickoff. There was simply no hope in beating Nebraska on even a given Saturday. But following that game in Boulder...there suddenly was was hope of knocking off the mighty red Goliath.

Marv Sieler and Iowa State did it in 92.
Texas and James Brown did it in 96.
Michael Bishop and K-State did it in 98.
Brad Smith did it in ’03.

And so it goes.

So as this blog comes to a close in the next few weeks ahead, a special thank you to Colorado and their fans, for paving the way for Husker Haters everywhere to show truly just how despicable and antagonizing the “classiest fans in the nation” could be. Thank you also for being a great fanbase wingman, in our quest to rid the world of all things Huskers. Thanks for reading, and thanks for all you do in the war against Husker nation.

Give em hell Friday and good luck.

**
I’ve a few serious and a few smart ass friends/readers ask me what I thought of the prospect of Nebraska actually getting a “better” bowl game than Missouri, if the process works out a certain way. I’m sure I don’t speak for all Missouri fans, but I will give you my take anyway:

Who cares.

The bowl system is so corrupt, so screwed up, that absolutely nothing surprises me. Notre Dame…as shitty as they are is guaranteed a BCS birth with 9 wins? Granted, they won't get there this year..but this goes right along with why I hate college baseball…if the outcome of a championship or final polls are somehow variant on the amount of money and/or fans you can bring to the game, then the process loses all legitimacy.

I’ve spoken before of this, but I’m completely against a playoff as well. I don’t care how many Boise State’s and Utah’s get screwed in the process…if you go 13-0, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from making your own banner and proclaiming yourself National Champs. (Unless you’re Penn State in 1994 and you actually deserved it..but that’s another story.)

Anyway, back to the bowl process…last year’s pre-season poll told us EXACTLY why Nebraska could land a ½ decent bowl with a whopping 8 wins over crappy-at-best competition. Why? Because last season was proof positive that NOBODY in the national media is paying attention to how shitty you really were. If pundits and media types aren’t paying attention to you…how is some fat-ass CEO of a mid-level company wearing a bright orange jacket supposed to know the real you?

Pundits, bowl reps and the like have been blinded by your suckiness for going on 7 years now. Because your boring ass uniforms haven’t changed much since the mid-90’s…most writers and the like just assume that with your name and pedigree, you fit the bill of national power. (All the while missing the point that you start 5 walk-ons on defense and have two wide receivers who are as pasty as my ass.)

If you recall last off-season, Mike’L Severe of KOZN radio here in Omaha went off on me for 10 minutes last season because he claimed that National Powers will always be good. To a small degree, he is right. National Powers have long time donors who will build the facilities and pay the coaches needed to maintain a certain level of excellence.

YOU people on the other hand are led by a crusty buffoon, who hasn’t made a good decision since he decided to start recruiting thugs in the mid 90’s, and then lied to the world about how holier than thou he is. He is also the guy who skipped over hiring proven head coaches like Paul Johnson and Jim Grobe, and went with a whiney, sloth looking crybaby armed with sideline antics that would make Jerry Glanville roll his eyes.

So to answer the question..no, I would not be surprised if Nebraska ended up in lovely Jacksonville (ever been to that toilet?) or somewhere else, while Missouri and/or any other more deserving program (many of whom also kicked your ass by 5 TD’s earlier) will be going to a “lesser bowl”.

The fact remains..the whole thing is a beauty pageant…and no matter how hot you are or how hot you aren’t..the beauty queens who are in bed with the judges are the ones who are going to make it the furthest. That’s just how it is.

Enjoy the games…if you can find a ½ decent one this weekend.

The Final Road Home

2008-11-19T14:45:00.006-06:00

Here in the cold confines of late November, college football takes it’s annual forked road approach; although the games get bigger…they get desperately fewer and further between. A quick blitz of games in the coming weeks will be met with 3-4 weeks of snooze time, before ESPN hits us with a lame award show (without the rubber chicken dinner) and then 2 weeks of drawn-out, made-for-TV bowl games. (No word if Nebraska will make another video out of the award shows)

Luckily for all of us, Husker fan has used this time to find a late-season burst of energy, parlaying a 10 point home win over a 5 loss team, and a road thrashing of a team that has completely packed it in to one step closer to order finally restored. Seriously thought, I’m kinda glad the swagger is back and the myopia increased as we get toward the final death of this blog. It kind of takes me back to days gone by you know?...back to days were newscasts dedicated 25 minutes of local coverage to a non-conference game against New Mexico State and pompus optimism dripped from the sky like rain.

So thank you Husker fans, for giving me one last reason to remember why I hate your guts so much. Actually..thanks to the KU, Colorado and KSU football programs for stinking it up, allowing your bloated gullets to float you to the top of an ocean of mediocrity.

**

Speaking of Colorado, nice to see this little spike of Husker pride has nudged Buffalo fans out of their late-season slumber, and back into the ring of hatred, prior to their visit to hick town on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Although I mock Husker fans with having no true natural rival, and Colorado fans for oftentimes being ambivalent toward their own team…your genuine dislike toward each other is to be commended. Seriously, the CU-NU game was always one of my favorites, because as you recall, it was Darian Hagan and company’s destruction of Tom Osborne’s team back in 1989 that truly started me down the path of Husker hatred.

CU fans also hold a special place in my heart, because like myself and my fan base…they hold a special streak of hooliganism that borders on the unapproachable. Although many give CU fans a hard time due to their student’s often-times unruly behavior, I for one applaud their ability to mock authority, as well as the wide-spread notion that Husker fans should revered for their stupidity of walking into a hostile field and acting like they own the place.

So despite your underdog status, I stand behind my brothers from the foothills, as they prepare to march into the warren of the toothless, and drop kick Herbie Husker right between that big goofy ass grin of his.

Good luck to you.

**

Speaking of hate, very little in terms of hate between Missouri and Kansas being thrown around cyberspace this week. Granted, the game is still building in hype, the mere fact that this year’s game is but a mere scrimmage compared to last year’s collision of titans at Arrowhead. Perhaps KU fans are too busy making more t-shirts after their flimsy basketball title last season, that pitted the Squaks against a team that actually choked worse than they did.

Regardless, should be interesting to see what sort of hate and venom comes out of both camps in the coming weeks.

**

In the meantime, lots of folks asking my take on whom I’d like to see Missouri play in the Big 12 Championship game on 12/6. As you know, any self-respecting Mizzou fan would be kidding himself if he convinced you he wanted a piece of Texas or OU strictly for payback. Although beating either team on Missouri soil would be great, both teams are still ridiculously strong and play big games in their sleep. Either way, should UT or OU make it to Arrowhead…look for ether to be a double digit favorite…at least…despite a majority of black and gold filling the ice cold home of the Kansas City Chiefs.

So with that in mind, I’ll let you guess whom I’m pulling for in the upcoming Tech vs. OU elimination game this weekend. I will drop you a hint by reminding you that Missouri beat Tech 41-10 last season. We shall leave it at that.

**

Finally, as we wind the blog down next week, we’ll be taking a look back at the gigantic death spiral that is the demise of the Husker football program. In the coming days, please feel free to drop me a line and let me know what some of your favorite moments of the past 6 years are in terms of Husker football. Whether it’s a particular player, incident or game…we’ll be taking a look back, and chronicling the exploits of how a team went from National Title contender…to barely better than Baylor in less than 2 presidential terms.

More to come on that after the weekend.

**

Power Poll

NORTH:

1) Missouri (9-2, 5-2) Idle – Mizzou wraps up a second straight north title by slapping around lowly Iowa State. Chase Coffman returns in time for the annual Border War with KU. The big question is...does KU fan still care?

2) Kansas (6-5, 3-4) Idle – I don’t care what you say Husker fans, beating KU at home doesn’t make you necessarily better, considering whom you’ve beaten and whom KU has played. Don’t get me wrong…I hate you both…but if you think you’d beat them either @ Lawrence or more than 5 out of 10 times..you’re crazy. Besides, it’s my blog. Screw you.

3) Colorado (5-6, 2-5) Idle – Same kinda deal here. WHO has Colorado lost to that Nebraska would have beaten? Florida State? Nope. Texas? Nope. Kansas @Lawrence? Nope. Missouri? Heh…no. Texas A&M at College Station? Nope. Vs. Oklahoma State? Nope. You can’t convince me for one second…playing the same schedule…you would be any better. You have your shot to prove me wrong. Go prove it.

4) Nebraska (7-4, 4-3) Idle – Western Michigan (MAC team) , San Jose State (WAC team) , NM State (WAC team) , Iowa State (Horrible), Baylor (They’re Baylor) and KSU (Flame to the finish). Worst opponent SOS % for wins in the whole conference. Enough said.

5) Kansas State (4-7, 1-6) vs. Iowa State – The Ron Prince era ends in a whimper this weekend at Manhattan. Now the real drama begins..will Count Bill-ula pull an Osborne and come out of retirement? We shall see.

6) Iowa State (2-9, 0-7) at Kansas State – Faint glimpses of hope are coming out of Ames…but nothing that could possibly help them now. Pull an upset against a toothless KSU team this weekend, and they could escape sole possession of the North basement…which isn’t a bad feat if you’re ISU.

SOUTH:
1) Oklahoma (9-1, 5-1) vs. Texas Tech – Bob Stoops has lost like 2 games in Norman….ever. The media love affair with Texas Tech ends around 10pm on Saturday.

2) Texas Tech (10-0, 6-0) at Oklahoma – A nice season with a stunning upset of Texas (that shouldn’t have happened) and a solid thumping of an OSU team running out of gas. I’d LOVE to see Tech pull this out and head to KC…but it aint gonna happen.

3) Texas (10-1, 6-1) Idle – Unfortunately for UT, Oklahoma will parlay wins over Tech and OSU to hop of the Horns in the BCS. (Which will be the tiebreaker). Now it’s going to be up to the coaches and Harris Poll voters to put UT ahead of OU and send Texas into a black and gold cauldron against Mizzou. We’ll see how it plays out…but I really don’t want to see them in KC. I don’t have to tell you why.

4) Oklahoma State (9-2, 5-2) Idle – Texas rolled through their gauntlet without too much of a problem…but a less deep Okie State team seems to be running out of steam a bit earlier. Still an extremely solid team, look for the Pokes to head to San Diego over Mizzou when the bets are called.

5) Baylor (4-7, 2-5) Idle – October 31st, 2009…Nebraska’s blackshirts get rolled by a Baylor QB in a prototypical style that gives Bo Pelini defenses fits. You heard it here first.

6) Texas A&M (4-7, 2-5) Idle – Would you really be shocked if A&M punked Texas on Thanksgiving night? Yeah…I would be too. Aint gonna happen.

Adios Cozumel

2008-11-17T13:25:00.007-06:00

Ahhhhhh...to be back. Man, I’m so relaxed from vacation, the countless cries of “guess who’s gonna be 8-4 baby!” seemingly bounce off of my sunburned back.

Yes, vacation was awesome. We were lucky enough to have celebrated a friend’s wedding in Cozumel while drinking, eating and diving in 85 degree weather for the past 9 days. One quick thing about diving; being a lifelong Midwesterner, I am not exactly in my element floating 60 feet under the water with a tank strapped to my back. But when a 5 foot shark comes cruising by, and I realize there is nowhere to run or no way to escape an attack…you tend to put silly things like college football into perspective.

Regardless, I had a great time working on my dive certification as well as packing on the pounds made up of a week’s worth of Corona and steak tacos. I’m not going to lie to you…I didn’t catch any of your games…or any games for that matter. But regardless, I’ve gone through the stats, seen the highlights and managed to ball up enough hate and disdain to spit back in your face when all 2 million of you try and sell me on this whole “we’re back” horseshit.

Now let’s face it…you know deep down that the odds of me giving you props on beating up on four teams who’s record is a combined 16-28 is about the same as the corpse of Jacque Custo jumping out of my ass and declaring my driveway a coral reef. But alas, I see where you idiots are coming from.

To understand the blind delusions that have crept back into your heads over the past few weeks is to true appreciate just how bad you were last season. However, when analyzed rationally, is it as much about your improvement as it is the complete collapse of those around you for whom you compete against? If KSU, Colorado and Kansas weren’t such complete disasters this season, would you really truly be that thrilled by how you’ve somehow managed to somehow win 7 games? Funny thing about all that is…as bad as KSU, CU and KU are…just comprehend that ISU is worse than all three of them. (Barely).

Either way, you have earned the right to be giddy about landing a date with the hottest girl at lumberjack camp. Somehow, through the benefit of the chaos around you, and your innate ability to schedule 8 home games and losing just about every single game you were remotely challenged in…you have somehow found yourself at the brink of minimal respectability.

Bravo corn people. Bravo.

But if you smell less than the other steaming piles of humanity at the bottom of the conference outhouse, where does it lead you for the future? With the exception of Roy Helu, King Bo is slaying the windmills dressed as dragons with players thrown into the fray last season by the very guy you hate more than even me. In other words…every single big impact player you have was utilized by and large by the previous administration. (For examples of this, see Willingham, Ty and University of Washington).

How will fortress corn hold up without Air Ganz next season? How stocked with the cupboards be when fake tattoos and hand written notes start to lose their luster with dolts wearing under armor in high schools across the country? Have any of you realized that your starting QB for next year…whomever that may be…has taken eight or less snaps at the MOST this season? With all those redshirts, wont’ you be getting significantly younger in the year or two to come?

Truth be told, despite your ability to constantly be crowned Special Olympics champion….none of it really matters to me anymore. You have still yet to beat a top 20 team in the past 7 seasons. You have yet to beat a top 20 team in a true road game since 1997. Hell, the one time you had a chance to beat the best team in the division this season…at home (where you had won 15 straight)….you lost by five touchdowns. (A team that many of you have crowed would finish 5th in the South by the way).

But truth be told, is it a decent first step for the reign of King Bo? Sure I guess. Players didn’t lay down like a French infantryman at the first sign of adversity as they did last season. There weren’t any 38-0 halftime deficits this year…at least against those teams that weren’t head and shoulders above you. So in a way, that whole “trying harder” thing must have worked out well for you this year. Again, kudos.

However, through the confetti and celebratory gunfire that blankets the state this week, it doesn’t take a long look in the history book to notice that 8 wins wouldn’t exactly have been considered a “step forward” back in the old days under T.O and the authority of Red communism. In fact, in many cases as it was in the late 80’s….8 wins would have gotten Dr. Tom ridden out of town on a rail. (And don’t kid yourself…should you find yourself in Jacksonville or El Paso, you will be ceremonially crushed as I’m fairly certain you will not be able to play KSU, Kansas, Iowa State or Colorado in your bowl game. )

But in the end, becoming one of the 60% or so teams that plays in the post-season is a worthy goal…even for a decrepit former champion, who’s expectations have now been lowered to match those of such powers as Cincinnati, Western Michigan and South Florida. You got what you wanted. You picked yourself up out of the shit…wiped yourself off, and now can throw your fists skyward in victory; all the while completely oblivious that you are still in fact…covered in shit.

Don't get too excited however; despite a Husker resurrection worthy of Jesus himself, this blog will continue to slowly drift toward extinction in the coming weeks, because not all that much has changed. My team has gone 10-0 in the past 2 seasons vs. the Big 12 North…and regardless of the pathetic degrees of your recent “triumphs”, I…unlike you…am able to put things into perspective. The fire of hatred is not relit…nor is your recent level of arrogance able to shake me barely enough to get the strength to roll my eyes. Your program…your reputation…and yes you as a fan…are still LIGHT years away from what you once were. Because of this fact…despite how sunny the skies may look today…you are just as irrelevant to me now as you have been the past couple of years.

My two weeks in the sun these past few weeks have re-energized me, revitalized me and rekindled my ability to take on the toils of day-to-day life in the cold and windy Midwest. But what it didn’t do, was make me…nor anybody else for that matter…recognize you from what you once were. The stain is too deep, the disfigurement too great.

Congratulations again on your amazing achievements so far this season. You still have a lot of steps on the mountain of relevance left to go for me to really care.

PS - This is the 600th column here at Behind Enemy Lines. Please feel free to celebrate such a milestone as you see fit.

Under the Sea - CLOSED FOR VACATION

2008-11-06T15:02:00.003-06:00

I can’t get away from you Husker freaks here, so I’m going to try my luck at the bottom of the sea. See ya in about 10 days or so... or never again…if I do in fact get eaten by a large shark or stabbed in the chest by a stingray.

I may be able to check in and approve comments, (And I'll approve through Thursday night) but I can’t guarantee anything. You aren’t exactly on the top of my list.

Enjoy the games, the snow and the 35mph winds. Time to hit the home stretch of the season when I return.

AJ

Apathy, Hope and Hypocrites

2008-11-05T13:48:00.007-06:00

I never thought I’d live to see this day.

I never thought I’d live long enough to see the winds of change sweep through my country as they have today. I’ve never seen the world around me move so far in such a short time. I never thought things would change this much, in that we would be forced to look at ourselves different than we ever have before.

Of course I’m talking about the complete and total indifference toward the Nebraska football program.

Oh sure, there are a few other things going on in the world this week. And yes, who the hell is going to think about everything else going on? But has there ever been a sliver of time where Husker football meant less? I’ve lived here 23 years, and even when things were dark in 2004 and during the bowl losing stretches of the late 80’s, we never got to the point of complete and total apathy.

How do I know?

It’s the little things. Wearing red on Fridays. Filling out scores on schedule posters; Bringing up this week’s opponents in everyday conversation 35 times an hour; Continuous stories on the news about how the a Husker grad assistant overcame the trauma of ADD to live out his life’s dream of handling the balls of his favorite football team.

All of that…is gone, just as I told you it would be when the atom bomb of apathy was dropped last October. So what is the Husker hating movement to do? What can we do going forward to make sure Husker fans realize they are getting exactly what they deserve? I look at it as an old battleship that has fought it’s battles, and now is being retired to dry dock where it can live out it’s years in peace.

For those of you thirsty for Husker blood…who are looking for me and others to bash on every digression made by Mad Bo and his merry band of walk ons…I apologize. The battle is won. The enemy is beaten. Nobody really cares anymore. Although it is liberating to celebrate their demise, the strength to care is simply too great. Perhaps after vacation I’ll feel differently.

**

Speaking of the election, I may as well throw my two cents in as well…basically because well…breaking down the Husker pass rush against KU seems daunting and far too much work at this particular point. I will break my election opinion down in two parts, because I believe the stirring victory by Barak Obama last night deserves to be broken down much more than just celebrating the smashing of a once unbreakable color barrier.

First off, last night was an amazing moment for the country, and an amazing moment for our society. It was only 40 years ago when the Civil Rights movement attempted to mend an ugly fundamental flaw woven within the fabric of our entire nation. Last night served as one of the great milestones of that movement, and will endure as a lasting tribute to what we have become as a society. Whether or not you agree with the politics behind the election of a president…and trust me, we are further apart than we’ve been at any time since the Civil War….you must admit that last night was one of those moments where you knew you’d be thinking 20, 30, 40+ years from now, “I remember when Obama was elected.”

On top of that, I am of firm belief that no matter who the president is..and no matter what your stance on his/her positions, the office demands respect and support. I’ll never know it myself, but I cannot possibly imagine what it would be like to have that much power…that much authority…that much responsibility that I literally held lives in my pen.

I for one will give Barak Obama a chance to lead this country to whatever destiny lies ahead of us. By winning the election, he has been chosen by the greatest democracy on earth to lead the greatest country on earth. That job requires support and at the very least…requires your support and empathy.

“Requires support and empathy”……Hmmmmm

Here’s the second part of my thoughts..the part that is absolutely disgusted by the hypocrisy and double-standard of a large portion of President Elect Obama’s base of supporters. As a voter from the middle of war of ideology, two things turn me against a cause more than anything: People (celebrities) telling me how to think and hypocrites who act one way, and then expect you to act another.

I understand that Matt Damon, George Clooney and Oprah all have the right to use their fame to express their political ideas. However, the great thing about elections is the fact that my vote equals Oprah’s vote. Despite the fact that I don’t have a TV show, a fleet of cars and a private jet…my 1 vote equals to just 1 of Oprah’s votes.

But worse yet, is the raging hypocrisy that lives within those who have whined and cried and bitched and moaned for the past 8 years. I’m all for gloating after a win, and expressing my views wildly without caring who’s eyes they find. But when an a close friend and Obama supporter tells me that it’s my patriotic duty to get behind the new president….it instantly takes me back to the endless months and YEARS of complaining, crying and bitching about things they know next to nothing about.

Even worse are those who preach to me that “America did the right thing to make such history”. That statement very much may be true…and it 100% is true. But if you think the same people would be dancing in the streets to celebrate the first female vice president…another barrier that has never been broken…you’re crazy. Impromptu celebrations would not have broken out in Times Square and Chicago and Pennsylvania Avenue…but cars would burn, rocks would be thrown, and people…both guilty and not guilty would be hurt.

So in the end, this great moment…this wonderful notch in the course of our country’s history brings out not only the best in us..but some of the worst. The election of Barak Obama will not bring people together, but in fact may pull them further apart. It's possible that through no fault really of his own, Obama’s tenure as commander in chief will be compromised by those who wish to wage a class war on others. Madonna, Susan Sarandon and Chevy Chase will continue to express their disdain in a public forum toward anything they don’t agree with…whether their choice of party is in power or not. And that very hypocrisy and double standard is what is going to continue to drive a wedge between Americans of all ages..all sexes and all parties.

I really hope that I am wrong, and like I said...I am 100% behind the new president. I will give him every opportunity to deliver the change he has promised, and see for myself whether or not it is best for the country and my family. But the divide that was once separated by color is now separated by ideology. Unless Barak Obama becomes one of the greatest unified leaders the world has ever seen, that gap will only become wider, in an age of instant information, instant blame and instant denial.

Time to move on.

Change has come…let’s see what it can do for all of us.

Polls, Polls and More Polls!

2008-11-03T20:17:00.005-06:00

I wasn’t going to throw out a new column just yet…quite frankly because neither you nor I care much about your team or your pseudo thirst for football passion anymore. Yet as I stated before, I’m about to go on a long-needed vacation, and it's probably best for both of us that I get as many backhanded slaps in at you while the microphone is still turned on as I can. (Contrary to popular belief...when I"m out of the country on vacation, the last thing I worry about is Husker football. Shocking I'm sure.)

**
Although it will be difficult for most of you to tear yourself away from your giant bowl of Cheetos and your VHS copy of the 1994 Orange Bowl, hopefully you did your civic duty and voted Tuesday on the people and issues that will shape the nation in the near and not-so-near future. As I've stated before...I love politics and I love arguing about politics...but it’s extremely difficult for me to hold back my own opinions within this blog. Not because I don’t care or I don't have an opinion; but one thing that really pisses me off is when people try and tell me how to think, how to vote and how to act. As much as I truly dislike many of you...I'm not about to do that; not here...not anywhere.

Truth be told; Politics…like religion…should be deeply personal and private. That’s why it pisses me off that I get 9000 phone each night, interrupting my evening of watching non-stop political commercials before I go to work and listen to non-stop political radio ads. But despite that, I'm well aware of how it all works. If you are committed to your party or your candidate…that’s flipping awesome. Seriously, this country would be a better place if more people educated themselves on the issues, and voted on the facts, and not what a radio show or radical blog told them to.

But as I’ve stated before, politics have become more of a spectacle/event than an actual contest to choose the best leaders. Gone are the days where a farmer from North Carolina would challenge a blacksmith from New Hampshire. Here are the days where only a career politician with millions upon millions of dollars in financial backing has even a semblance of hope to become the leader of the free world. Hell, the one time a guy actually went out of his way to find a nobody for the 2nd highest office, the woman was basically laughed on the stage by the very people who demand that the “same old same old” be put to rest. (I understand Sarah Palin has about as much qualifications as I do to be V.P., but why all the hate? Seriously, I don't get it..and trust me...I hate just about everyone.)

What it comes down to is the fundamental principle of media influence on a populace which is….in case you haven’t noticed….isn’t very smart to begin with. That goes both ways…within both parties; whether it’s the fearful rantings of republican hate-radio….or the blatantly biased slander of mainstream media outlets funded by individuals with personal interests at stake.

Regardless, the American election…the last bastion of freedom left on earth..is very quickly turning into the media circus and financial fueled car wreck of a bad TV reality show. By the time you read this, the whole thing may well be over, and somebody’s candidate will have won…and the other side would have lost.

But make no mistake…we have all lost, because the true meaning of bi-partisan cooperation is not only dead…but quickly disappearing in the rear view mirror of an entire society. Did the authors of the Constitution realize that votes for all higher offices would be broken down by 500,000 blogs and 24/7 news coverage on about 6 different networks?

Depressing indeed on what should be a spectacular day to celebrate Democracy. God help us all, no matter who wins.

**

I’m starting to join the small minority that says college football polls should be saved to the very last weekend of the season. How else can you explain the media’s love with a USC team that lost to Oregon State and a Florida team that lost to Ole Miss (at home). How could either of those teams be held in higher standing than Oklahoma (who lost to Texas) and Texas (who lost to an undefeated Texas Tech?) Why are these mega-power teams given a free pass, just as LSU was handed a free National Title last year (at home), when they had lost to a slightly-better-than-average Arkansas team a few weeks before? (at home)

This week is a perfect example: HOW CAN Texas be BEHIND USC (Oregon State) and Florida (Ole Miss) for Christ's sake…when they lost to the #2 team in the country…on the road..on the last play of the game? Completely and totally ridiculous.

I’m not about to go ranting about a college football playoff, because a playoff would completely kill the week-by-week drama that is college football. But until somebody recognizes the ridiculousness of it all, it’s all going to be based on lies, bullshit and the cesspool that is ESPN and their pundits.

Rest assured, I can already tell you what is going to happen. Penn State, while completely avoiding a remotely difficult game as well as a championship game, will play a USC team that not only skated through the last 2 months of their season in one of the worst conferences in the country…but also lost to a bad Oregon State team in a performance that would BURY 99% of other teams around the country.

(And don’t even get me started with TCU, Utah and Boise being in the top 11)

Power Poll – Election Edition:

NORTH:
1) Missouri ( 7-2, 3-2) vs. Kansas State – In typical Mizzou style, the Tiger’s defensive strategy to defend Robert Griffin nearly backfired in a closer-than-expected 31-28 win in Waco. Next up is hapless KSU, who is giving up the points by the ton. Senior Day for the Tigers and a dismal forecast of cold and wind could make for a rather miserable day for the Cats. (But I'm sure I'm not the only Missouri fan who is on gaurd for another letdown)

2) Kansas (6-3), 3-2) at Nebraska – KU needs a win against Nebraska (or a miracle against Texas next week) to hold onto their shrinking Big 12 North hopes. The fat man shored up the defense just enough against KSU to ease into a victory. The Squaks big-game experience and mobile QB should be too much for the pathetic Husker defense and their non-existent pass rush.

5a) Colorado (4-5, 1-4) vs. Iowa State – Who out of this threesome do you put at 5a as opposed to 5b or 5c? Because Colorado has a signature win (West Virginia) and beat Kansas State (albeit barely) I'm going to give the Buffs the very light nod. Regardless, CU's bowl hopes hinge on a win over the hapless Clones in the wind tunnel Ames and then a trip to Lincoln later this month.

5b) Kansas State (4-5, 1-4) at Missouri – We’ll see how KSU does against the Hicks next week, but for now, their ability to at least keep it close against Oklahoma keeps them ahead of an NU team that has done nothing. The two teams are actually similar (semi-potent offenses, zero defense and no signature wins)…so it will be intresting how that ends up. In the meantime, a death march into Columbia awaits as the Ron Prince job watch begins. (Possibly)

5c) Nebraska (5-4, 2-3) vs. Kansas – Quietly, Nebraska faces one of their bigger games in recent memory against KU. Why you ask? Because a loss here puts ALL the pressure on the Hicks to go to a ½ decent bowl game as compared to Shreveport or worse yet…no bowl at all. KU isn’t exactly defensive juggernaut, but they should be able to stop whatever King Bo can throw out on the field. (If he allows them to take the field at all…considering he is done pouting)

6) Iowa State (2-7, 0-5) at Colorado – A bad season gets worse. The Clones are giving up 41.6ppg over the past 6 games. Lucky for them, the Buffs’ offense resembles a ’78 Dodge Diplomat with bald tires. Unfortunately, the game is in Boulder. CU has been pretty bad this season…but not that bad.

SOUTH:
1) Oklahoma (8-1, 4-1) at Texas A&M – Going by the overall body of work, I still say the Sooners are the best team in the division..despite losing to the Horns earlier last month. Their offense is clicking (35+ points in every game so far) and if the beatdown against the Hicks Saturday is any indication, they are starting to roll downhill. A&M is slowly improving, but don’t possess enough firepower to slow this train down..even for a little bit.

2) Texas Tech (9-0, 5-0) vs. Oklahoma State – Let the record show…the ONLY reason Tech is rated #2 on my list is because that kid for Texas dropped that fluttering sure-interception with only seconds remaining. Don't kid yourselves...if that kid makes that catch…UT is rolling toward Kansas City with big-time National Title hopes. Instead, Tech wins their first game against a ½ decent opponent...pretty much ever, just in time to get into a track meet with OSU this weekend. Either way...put em where you want for now…OU is going to destroy them next week anyway.

3) Texas (8-1, 4-1) vs. Baylor – Strangely enough, the Horns may have the clearest path to Kansas City of the big 4 in the South. OU, Tech and OSU all play each other over the last few weeks, while UT takes on the likes of Baylor, KU and A&M. They’ll need Tech to lose twice to win the South outright..but even if they lose once…it will most likely come down to BCS standings, which will most likely have UT out front. Not a bad position to be in. Oh, and they’re going to destroy Baylor this week.

4) Oklahoma State (8-1, 4-1) at Texas Tech – Personally, I don’t think the Pokes are near deep enough to get by Tech and then get by a sometimes dangerous CU team in the mountains before the rivalry game with OU to end the season. Tech looked awfully tough against UT, and OSU has already proven they can win in a hostile environment when they won in Columbia. Should be close, but I think they’re the odd men out…at least this season.

5) Baylor (3-6, 1-4) at Texas – Robert Griffin is the real deal. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have nearly enough weapons around him and Texas is going to be really really pissed off. Yikes.

6) Texas A&M (4-5, 2-3) vs. Oklahoma – Don’t look now, but the Aggies have won two straight and are starting to score some points. Oh, they’re still going to get crushed by OU…but at least they’ll have something to build on for next season…if they aren’t demoralized in Austin by a far superior UT team.

(BO)rn to Pout

2008-11-02T10:51:00.009-06:00

You’ll have to forgive me today, as I’m battling a few injuries. First is the sore thumb from flipping back and fourth between ESPN and Texas Tech’s near meltdown, and second is the sore stomach from laughing at the uncontrollable rectal bleeding that was the Nebraska defense on ESPN. All in all though, a pretty entertaining night in terms of setting up for the end of the season.

With that being said, I’m (of course) not surprised you got your brains beat in by the Sooners. OU is angry, and arguably physically better than Texas (just not on one day in Dallas). You were smacked early and you were smacked often...and yes, I found it extremely funny. However, I do have a few deeper observations of your team that are really starting to come into focus.

First, Bo Pelini has your team playing at least a tad harder than the GRF© did last season. You see guys running hard toward the football, and not heading back to the huddle with their heads hanging to their knees. For that, you got what you wanted…a guy who will bring “passion” back to Nebraska football.

What you didn’t count on is the absolute embarrassment and childish crybaby that Bo Pelini brings to your team that is unlike any football coach seen in these parts since…well…since ever. Whether it’s the tear-fueled hissy fits he has during the games, or the EXTREMELY tired, “This is my fault..blame it on me” mantra that he now uses for every single loss, this dude is in WAY over his head. He obviously knows what he’s doing in terms of motivating and getting guys in the right spot, but he reminds me of Gunther Cunningham in the way he completely loses his mind in the face of any sort of adversity whatsoever.

But that not withstanding, here’s where your life gets real interesting: Will Pelini be able to grow up in time to right your ship? At what point is his “passion” going to make you a laughing stock? Pulling your players away from reporters after the game and pouting all the way to the bus? Staring down your own reporters who want to know why you just got completely destroyed? Take your beating like a man, and stop trying to be somebody you’re not…which is an inexperienced leader of men who at least at the moment, has no clue of how to take the punches that get thrown at him.

Second, Your entire season has been saved by, ironically enough..the Colorado Buffaloes. I’m not sure what the hell Dan Hawkins is thinking, but it looks like we’re going to have a repeat of 2004, when the Buffs and Huskers met on the Friday after thanksgiving in Lincoln to see who is going to a bowl, and who is going home. Dan Hawkins has seemingly waved the white flag on offense with his QB rotation (unless it somehow gets better over the next few weeks), and yes..even you can probably stop their attack. (Especially with their best player busting his leg yesterday.) But regardless of 6 wins, I still think Sharp and Reesing are going to be WAY too much for you to handle next week. Shreveport is lovely this time of year I hear.

Sandwiched in the middle of those two games, K-State hosts you in their Super Bowl, which certainly isn't an environment that you normally handle very well. This won’t be a disinterested Texas Tech team looking past you. K-State hates your guts, and despite having ZERO defensive abilities, they can actually move the ball. They’ll also (possibly) be playing for Ron Prince’s job…or at least job security. If you think that game is going to be some sort of cakewalk, you’re crazy.

Oh, and one more thing: Remember when Missouri fell behind behind Texas big at the half, and the whole lot of you nearly pissed yourself laughing and commenting here at the “total destruction” of the Mizzou program? Hmmmm...35-0 sound familiar? Let’s see how the ministers of spin do with this one. (If you’ve read Tom Shatel this morning..you already know the answer to that one.) Not that it means a whole lot…I just want to point out that I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning..and right now…it’s looking to get pretty thick around here.

Either way, your team sucks and isn’t getting much better. Ho Hum.

**
Lots of people are ready to give Texas Tech the National Title today after an amazing contest opposite of your public colon pounding. Tech played outstanding on defense early, but the Horns seemed to figure them out later on. As impressive as Graham Harrell’s drive at the end of the game was…you gotta wonder a couple of things. First, if that dude picks off that batted ball on the drive, the game is over and UT cruises into Kansas City with a trip to Miami on the line. Instead, Tech rolls down the field, and takes advantage of one of the worst defensive plays I’ve ever seen. I mean…you KNOW they’re going to Crabtree. You KNOW they’ve run that back shoulder play over and over. HELL, you had double coverage on the guy. And then when he does catch it you just let him waltz into the end zone?

Texas Tech is extremely talented as I’ve told you since back in July. However…as we saw in their near choke job against the Hicks a few weeks ago, they are not the most mentally sound group ever to hit the field. They did everything they could to choke that game away last night and nearly did so. With OU in Norman and Okie State at home next week…I would be shocked..yes SHOCKED if the Red Raiders wound up in Kansas City on December 6th.

It’s still Texas’ prize to lose. We’ll see how the rest of the year goes.

**

I’m sure 99% of you were huddled next to your Commodore 128’s yesterday afternoon as you listened to the webcast of Missouri taking on Baylor. Nice to see Missouri’s defense is still a major problem and pretty much the biggest reason why they’ve hopped in the back row of the national stage. However, two years ago, Mizzou loses that game easily. Robert Griffin seems to be improving by the game, and I’m telling you now..I am not looking forward to that guy coming to my team’s stadium next October.

Regardless, Baylor did was young teams do with a chance to win at the end…they panicked and made a major mistake, thus giving the more experienced team the victory. Missouri now has a wounded KSU team at home on Senior Day, and then a trip to Ames to take on an absolutely dreadful Cyclone team that will be looking to play out the string.

That puts Mizzou fans in the unusual position of quietly rooting for the Huskers next weekend. A KU loss to Nebraska coupled with a (near certain) loss to Texas in Lawrence, wraps up the North title for the Tigers. (if they can beat two of the lesser teams in the league.) I like Mizzou’s chances against KU on any field, but the ultimate goal now is the upset whomever the South sends to KC. If that game could somehow lose that meaning, it would be an awfully big burden off the shoulders of the Tigers.

**

I’m out of the country next week, so it’s going to get kinda quiet here. (Not that it should be too much of a as it is on days like today…another brutal and predictable Husker meltdown.) Something tells me it's going to be pretty quiet around here anyway.

Chirp

(Photo Credit - Daily Oklahoman and Columbia Tribune)

The Grinch

2008-10-31T20:16:00.002-05:00

Sweet Holy Jesus do I hate Halloween. I don't mean it's annoying, I mean it's right up there with hangnails, people ordering for their entire office in front of me in line at Subway, High School Musical 3 and the Husker Spring game.

Maybe it’s because I don’t really like chocolate? Or maybe it’s because I think dressing up as R2D2 is stupid…when you’re 30. Or maybe the idea of mass organized youth begging simply doesn’t appeal to me? Or maybe I’m just an A-hole?

Regardless, since this blog will be dormant next Halloween, here are some tips for you and yours to stay on the good side of Black and Orange grinches such as myself. Consider this a public service message in advance, since it's already too late this year:

- If you’re over 14, don’t even try it. Keep your pillow cases and backpacks at home. Take your lame charcoal-drawn mustache and your JV football jersey and get the hell off my front steps. I don’t want to deal with you. You don’t want to deal with me. And pretty soon..if you aren’t already, you are going to be the little bastards who keep blasting your music at 3:30am coming down the street. (And while you’re at it…why don’t you take a look around and realize you’re a 16 year old white kid from suburban Omaha when you throttle the sound barrier with your N.W.A thumping at full blast next time. )

- Is it too much to ask to stay off the Godamn grass? Is it that hard to see the big concrete sidewalks that surround the neighborhood? They’re not that hard to spot, and they’re real easy to mow. They're even grooved so you won't slip.

- Don’t strike up a conversation with me. I’m only handing out candy, because if I don’t..it’s a perfectly good reason for your little thugs to destroy something in my yard. I’m not in the mood for it, so I”ll take the short-term pain of listening to you bitch about your bad hip…rather than deal with your punk-ass kids at 4am in a few Saturdays. Stop by. Take your candy. Say Thank you. Move on.

- That barbed wire fencing is there for a reason. Don’t try to climb over it. If you lost your hat or something on the other side…tough shit.

- LEAVE the Husker shit at home. I don’t care if you are the cutest little 2 year old girl on the planet, with a lisp and pigtails…if you’re dressed as a Husker cheerleader, you’re getting either a smashed up Tootsie Roll, or that nasty white. End of story.

- I don’t play scary music and sit out on my porch because it’s lame and I don’t have that kind of time. If you want that kind of excitement, go to Mystery Manor downtown and let them chase you around with a chainsaw. I’m over it.

- I will give Halloween credit…at least it’s not as bad as the fourth of July, as I don’t have to worry about one of the small artillery rockets flying through the sky to land on my house..only to watch it go up in a giant inferno.

Happy November.

Lame of the Century

2008-10-29T18:26:00.004-05:00

Well, the bi-annual Oklahoma vs. Nebraska trip down memory lane is upon us; where one really good team beats the crap out of a really bad team, following a full week of making the rest of us look at grainy old video of Johnny Rodgers scoring a touchdown well before I was born. But to be fair, this "rivalry" isn't all fossils and dinosaurs. I mean, who could forget your classy team taking on the “Fucking Hillbillies”? Or Husker thug Darren DeLome cold-cocking an Oklahoma cheerleader in the face and then claiming he felt “threatened”?

But every single time we go through this whole masquerade party down memory lane, we are once again bombarded with the same old question from Omaha media over and over and over and over: Is Oklahoma, Nebraska’s biggest rival?

My answer of course is that this was and always will be a trick question. Why? For the simple fact that you people wouldn’t know a rivalry if it came up and swiped the yellow piece of foam off your heads. RIVALRY with Oklahoma? Isn’t there a statute of limitations on such things? Aside from a couple of fluke Husker seasons in 2001 and 2002 (Right about the time Frank Solich was selling his soul for a Rose Bowl Birth) do you realize the last time the two teams met BOTH ranked was 1993? Not that ranking has anything to do with rivalry as we shall soon see…but to think this is some sort of contemporary clash of the titans is a bit of a stretch.

All of this..and we havne’t even mentioned the colon pounding the Huskers are most certainly going to take under the lights in this year’s version of the Red “Remember When” Rivalry.

"Hey Hateful blog guy, why isn't it a rivalry"?

What would I know about two great programs clashing on the gridiron? And why shouldn’t these two superpowers play every single year?

Because in order for a true rivalry, you have to fit at least 2 of the following 5 criteria:

1) Your states went to war or had some sort of armed conflict.
(Nope, not here... unless you count the Miss Teen USA pagent, Nebraska and Oklahoma have never seriously competed against each other for anything aside from college sports and the white-hot Omaha Royals-Oklahoma RedHawks rivalry in AAA baseball. I haven’t checked lately, but I’m pretty sure nobody died in one of those contests either.)

2) You have ZERO mutual respect for the other team’s traditions and past successes.
(Nebraska fans..at least the ones I know..are ALWAYS raving about how much respect and admiration they have for the OU program. Sure some old timers hold a grudge, but any Husker fan born after the MTV revolution would have Bob Stoops’ children if he asked them too. Hell, Barry Switzer would probably get more votes here than Tom Osborne did. If you respect the other team...it's not a rivalry. Trust me.)

3) You find yourself spending 20 minutes rooting against your potential rival's girls soccer team when you stopped flipping channels on ESPNU on a Tuesday night.
(I’ll admit it…I’ll flip through channels and catch a KU women’s basketball game and root for the opposing team, whomever they might be, to go on a nice 32-0 run. Can you say the same thing about OU?)

4) Your potential rival doesn’t have two other rivals ahead of you.
(Please tell me how NU and Oklahoma can be such “true rivals”, if Oklahoma already has Texas and Oklahoma State to deal with? Even you people have got to find some serious balls to think that Sooner fans actually despise you more than UT fans or Okie Light fans. Granted…if they lived near you they probably would rather easily…but I digress)

5) One of your fans naively made up a really idiotic story on the internet in a public forum about the opposing QB and nearly got his ass sued for libel.
(OK, you got me on that one.)

So go ahead and ramp up the talk of trying to sign OU to a multi-year football deal, where the two teams would meet in non-rotation years. Granted, I’m sure the Sooner fans would love the automatic w’s 5 times a decade…but shouldn't you be a bit careful what you wish for? Let’s talk again after Saturday to see if you still think that is such a good idea.

Power Poll:

NORTH:
1) Missouri (6-2, 2-2) at Baylor – Nice of the Tigers to put the newspapers down long enough to finally realize they need to actually produce on the field and stop listening to Lee Corso. The Tigers looked extremely pissed off against a hapless Buff team last weekend on a beautiful night in Columbia. Robert Griffen of course is a real threat…although Missouri has been much better against the run than the pass of late.

2) Kansas (5-3, 2-2) vs. Kansas State – The Squaks laid their biggest egg in three years by getting destroyed by a solid-but-not-great Texas Tech team on their own turf. Normally, I ‘d love to drop them lower, but where are you going to put them? This Saturday’s rivalry game should be a good tonic for a sore Jayhawk ass that gave up 900 yards against the Red Raiders.

3) Kansas State (4-4, 1-3) at Kansas – Sure the Cat’s can’t stop anybody, but again..where are you going to drop them? Giving up 55 points in a half to OU is nothing to brag about, but if you look at who they’ve played in conference (Tech and Oklahoma as well as Colorado and A&M on the road)…you’ve got to figure things can only get better. Maybe not…after Todd Reesing, the Cats get Mizzou…in Columbia…on Senior Day.

4) Colorado (4-4, 1-3) at Texas A&M – Although I was mocked by some Husker bloggers, the Buff defense certainly didn’t give any hints prior to last weekend that they were about to be destroyed. Holding Texas to 38 a few weeks ago, and KSU to 13 the week before actually doesn’t look too bad. Unfortunately, Dan Hawkins has raised the white flag and made a QB change…one that didn’t look to be going too well last weekend. Saturday's matchup in college station should actually be decent against two relatively even teams.

5) Nebraska (5-3, 2-2) at Oklahoma – Piss, whine and cry all you want Husker fans…WHY on earth should I rank you higher? You beat two of the worst teams in the league and got absolutely ass slammed by Mizzou in your own house. So you played keep away from an overrated Texas Tech team for 60 minutes, only to choke it away…whoopie doo. I’ve already said it before…your true test comes after your upcoming losses to OU and Kansas. Those games @KSU and vs. CU will determine if you’re going to 72nd and Dodge to celebrate a trip to the 4th best bowl in Phoenix…or staying at home yet again with your thumb up your ass for the holidays. I know where my money’s at.

6) Iowa State (2-6, 0-4) at Oklahoma State – Don’t chuckle Cyclone fans…you lost to that shitty team…at home. As for this weekend…I wonder if that fancy new scoreboard that Boone Pickens donated has three digits under the Home side? I guess we may find out.

SOUTH:
1) Texas (8-0, 4-0) at Texas Tech – The horns give up a lot of passing yards because their opponents are almost always airing it out to come from behind. At Texas, you are bred to play in games like this. In Lubbock, the pressure is on in front of a moonshine-fueled home fan base in what surely is the most anticipated matchup in the state since Santa Ana headed north. In big games like this..the team who has the most big-game expierence usually wins…no brainer here who that is.

2) Oklahoma (7-1, 3-1) vs. Nebraska – After the Sooners and Huskers take all their pictures..punch each other’s cheerleaders in the face and wax nostalgic over a bunch of games that were played before color TV…OU is going to sodomize Nebraska in new and exciting ways. Nebraska hasn’t beaten a ranked top 20 team in a true road game since September of 1997. (yes…that’s 11 years for those of you not so good in math and yes...you can look it up)

3) Oklahoma State (7-1, 3-1) vs. Iowa State – Look for the Cowboys to be playing underclassmen by the 3rd quarter, and only guys who’s first name is “Mike” in the 4th quarter. And ABC put this in it’s 2:30pm slot because?......

4) Texas Tech (8-0, 4-0) vs. Texas – Let me put it this way….if you need overtime to beat Nebraska on the same field…you may have a bit of trouble against Texas. I don’t do this for a living..but that’s just a hunch. Then again, when you think of HUGE wins against ranked teams…you immediately think…Texas Tech. Uhhhh, yeah.

5) Baylor (3-5, 1-3) vs. Missouri – Remember back in July when I said Baylor would upset somebody they weren’t supposed to beat somewhere along the way? Yeah, I really wish I wouldn’t have written that. Regardless, the Bears are somewhat dangerous but extremely undermanned. If Chase Daniel plays as pissed off as last week, it could be a long day for BU.

6) Texas A&M (3-5, 1-3) vs. Colorado – A&M is actually starting to score a few points of late..but unfortunately have given up 35 or more in 5 of their last 6 games. Lucky for them, Colorado isn’t exactly an offensive juggernaut as they try and bounce back from a horrible game last week. This should be low scoring and perhaps could jump start the Mike Sherman era into the next phase. Or maybe they’ll piss this away. They did barely beat Army and lost to Arkansas State this year ya know.

A Bad Case of the Mundays

2008-10-27T14:10:00.005-05:00

I can tell I’m on the downward slide of keeping up this blog, because it’s the Monday after a big college football weekend, and I nearly forgot I haven’t updated you in like five days. Then again, you may have to tell me how it all went, because I’ve spent the last 48 hours in an alcohol fueled, BBQ smoke filled haze in Columbia. More on that in a second, but let’s get back on track:.

**
So let’s see….apparently good ol’ Baylor wasn’t quite the easy pushover at home many of you thought they’d be. Still think the Huskers are just a few steps away from being “Back?”. To answer that question, let’s go back in time to your mid 90’s heyday and think of just what the score would have been had your warriors played Baylor on the plastic tundra of Lancaster County. I could be way off, and maybe I don’t remember those days very well…but I’m pretty sure Tommie Frazier’s teams would not have been trailing Baylor at the half.

So to answer the question last week, “Are the Huskers back?” the answer is of course hysterical sarcastic laughter, followed by a simple, “hell no.”

But regardless, you gotta be feeling good about yourself for a couple of reasons. First, the big win on Saturday apparently was the first time in FIVE years that the Huskers had won a game in which they trailed at the half. This is an absolutely amazing statistic, considering both the mathematical possibilities as well as the complete and total delusional nature of your fans who apparently ignored such things and simply figured your name and moldy National Championships would be enough to pull you through. Second, as bad as your team sucks...apparently most of the rest of the division sucks just as bad. (Although one of those teams beat you by 5TD's at home...but I digress)

So now the Huskers stand one win from bowl eligibility, with a trip to Norman to take on a wounded Sooner team on national TV, and then a home tilt against Mark Mangino’s suddenly-crashing-to-earth squad. Ok, so Iowa State’s complete and total ineptness hurt my 4-8 prediction for you this season….but hey, how the hell was I supposed to know the rest of the division was going to suck that bad? What’s funny is…even when teams like Coloardo, Kansas and KSU are struggling, you are somehow thinking your own team is immune. Case in point the delusional Husker blogger who somehow thinks that Colorado is terrible for giving up 58 points on the road….yet his own team gives up 52 points at HOME to the same team is somehow tolerable.

This is the home-grown ignorance I’ve been preaching at you people for years. In college football, you simply cannot set aside one poor performance as a fluke or an aberration. You remember 8 days ago right? Mizzou gets thrashed by Texas hours after NU beats a HORRIBLE ISU team, and things are definitely getting better for you. But in reality, Missouri is still head and shoulders above Nebraska…just as they were 3 weeks ago. The same week-to-week over-analysis that makes the sport great, also adds to the ridiculousness of myopia and insanity of both fans and pundits alike.

For example, this morning…I’m listening to Rivals radio and they’re already talking about how Penn State might get screwed by Alabama in the fight for the BCS title game. They then go into how USC is going to be left out of any sort of scenario etc etc etc. Didn’t last year’s November teach us ANYTHING? Do people realize they are just wasting their breath assuming teams are going to win weeks..even months in advance? Remember how West Virginia was a LOCK for the BCS title game last season? How did that turn out? I realize it's good conversation, but is it REALLY necessary to speculate this much?

Let’s just keep focused on the next few weeks, and deal with BCS births and the like when we actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

**

Dear God, is this election over yet? Make it go away. This is going to be one of the worst 8 days in recent memory, as candidates do everything they can to bash each other and dodge the issues. Well…dodge the issues with actual facts and not twisted lies and propaganda that props up their own agenda. I’m not sure how things are going to shake out, but I’m 110% sure that whomever wins…the country will be as divided and partisan as it ever has been.

Gone are the days were service and experience and here are the days of $400 haircuts, flashy speeches and wardrobe shopping sprees that cost $150,000. Much like the country music industry of the mid 90’s, politics today are more about a flashy machine designed to appeal…rather than understanding ideas and theories that can and will affect your life in the future.

The whole thing is stupid now and I’m sick of dealing with it.

**

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I’m a bit late because I spent the weekend in Columbia at the Missouri vs. Colorado game.

First of all, props to the Colorado fans who came out. I only spoke to a few of them, but the ones I did meet were a blast to meet, and a lot of fun to talk football with. I felt a bit bad the way the game came out, although there wasn’t a whole lot Dan Hawkins’ team could do running into the pissed off buzzsaw that was the Missouri offense. Not sure why the pundits are so surprised by the Missouri defense…especially considering their improvement in every game minus the Texas game.

Homecoming was nice, and the weather was absolutely beautiful.

Zero thanks to the Mizzou athletic department, who have now made finding a public parking spot to tailgate in more difficult than a U.S. patent. I understand underage kids who drink need to be dealt with, and the university is liable for whatever damage they may cause themselves or others. But is it REALLY necessary to harm those other fans who do nothing more but pump hundreds..perhaps even thousands of dollars into the local economy? I'm sure Mizzou isn't the only school who experiences this...but just because I'm not some big time donor or tuition paying student...why am I the one who feels the pinch of "restrictions" first?

Big time college football is great...but the impacts of such growth suck donkey balls.

**

What the hell was that Redleggers? And to think, I actually thought KU was going to give Texas Tech a bit of trouble at home. Have you seen Mike Leach’s road record? And then to give up 60+ points? AT home? What the hell are you thinking? Ok, perhaps Telib was more important to your defense than people thought.

**

Nice effort by Oklahoma State, but I’m still not convinced they’re all that just yet. Texas has been playing at an extremely high level of late, and was due to let up…if just a bit. The Cowboys are definitely improving on defense, but it would have been interesting to have seen what the score might have been had they played Texas at the beginning of this 4 game stretch for UT….not toward the end.

Speaking of which….biggest game in school history for Texas Tech this weekend as the Horns travel west to nail down their ticket to Kansas City. I have no doubt (as I”ve said before) that Tech has the horses to put up big points. However, their pathetic sleepwalk effort against the hicks two weeks ago tells me all about their mental toughness. I think the Red Raiders keep it close or perhaps even jump ahead against a tired Texas team. But teams that aren’t mentally tough tend to beat themselves…and I would be shocked if Mike Leach’s team had the stomach enough to pull all the way through.

We shall see.

(Photo Thanks - Columbia Tribune)

Back?!?!

2008-10-22T21:45:00.004-05:00

“Are the Huskers back?”

This was the whimsical semi-rhetorical question coming out of my radio as I listened to KOZN’s afternoon Husker slobber hour last week. Apparently a big Husker victory over a team that is 10th or worse in the conference in every single offensive and defensive category is enough to get you jumping half-way out of your overalls. Or perhaps it was the big moral victory/choke job against the nation’s most overrated top 10 team the week before that caused such a spike in Husker pride?

Regardless, most of you are feeling pretty damn good about yourselves. And don’t get me wrong…I don’t really blame you. Oh sure, you haven’t beaten a top 20 team in nearly 7 seasons. (You and...Duke? was it?) Oh sure, you still are two wins away from being bowl eligible…but damnit…why not answer the question anyway?

Hell yes you are back!

Oh sure you used to fight for conference titles every single year and AVERAGED 9 wins a season for like 30 years; but you beat Iowa State! ON THE ROAD!!! How could you not get good vibrations rolling up and down your spine after such a dominating performance? Damnit, this isn't a win over some nobody...the Clones DESTROYED South Dakota State earlier this year.

I for one could not be happier for you. You’ve been through hell and people like me have made you feel inferior, helpless and pathetic. But perhaps before you take to the streets of Shreveport later this year and proclaim your throne back on top of the college football world...you should take a little longer look around to confirm exactly what restored order you are indeed celebrating. After a home game with Baylor (which last time I checked…was always a gimme back when you were winning…but not now), you are still looking at two ranked teams the following two weekends to smack you upside the head with a big 'ol reality club. Only then, will you be looking at 5-5…ready to make or break your season with two huge games to end your year. (Assuming you do beat Baylor at home…)

I've said it before, and I"ll say it again: The biggest games of the year for the Huskers are the two at the end. Kansas and Missouri have (or will) distance themselves from the rest of the pack. Iowa State has solidified their place as divisional bottom-feeder. It is the trifecta of KSU, Colorado and Nebraska that will make up the last few bowl spots out of the Big 12. And lucky for us...both of those two programs hate your guts almost as much as I do.

So are the Huskers “back”? as some are starting to think?

If you think a two week sample size…one of which was a crushing choke in OT..then sure.
If you think those losses to Va Tech and Missouri were flukes..then sure.
If you think you have a gimmie at K-State and at home vs. CU...then sure.

Most importantly, if you’ve completely and totally forgotten how your program used to be (which I find interesting, considering 5,000 former players walk your sidelines every week)…then sure. Hell yes you are back. You are right back into the thick of the 3rd tier bowl race, where ½ filled stadiums, cold temps, Pam Hall and a 3:45pm start time on a Thursday awaits. Nevermind that anything less than 9 wins used to be not only considered a failure..but an impossibility. You have now restored a new order, where mediocrity is celebrated, and crushing home losses (Worst defeat in 50+ years by the way) are completely and totally forgotten.

You are indeed back.

It’s good to see you again.

**
Did I just see the Tampa Bay Rays in the World Series? What the hell….

Part of me is glad the whole class-system in baseball has been destroyed. Granted, the Rays will probably be forced to deal away their entire franchise in the next year or two…but hey. At least they got to enjoy a World Series once before dropping back into the toilet? And if anything, this goes to show that instead of a bad economic system keeping down the Royals…us longtime fans now can conclude that it was just shitty management that has destroyed a once proud franchise. Thanks again David Glass.

**
Sorry about the delay this week, but the posts are going to be a bit thin this week. I’ll pick it back up on Monday with a full report from my adventures in Columbia. Buff fans, stop on by and say hi. The Ribs and Sam Adams are on me.

Power Poll:

NORTH:
1) Missouri (5-2, 1-2) vs. Colorado – Mizzou’s National title hopes have gone out the window, but the North is still in complete control…barring some sort of screw up in the next four games. Media reports this week are hinting that Mizzou is a jumbled mess of disappointment, bad leadership and pouting. Lose to the Buffs here…or hell, even struggle…and the whole thing could unravel. Bigger game than most realize coming up on Saturday.

2) Kansas (5-2, 2-1) vs. Texas Tech – Who is the bigger fraud? KU and Tech…to me seem somewhat similar to each other. Both have plenty of weapons…but not nearly enough to vault themselves into the upper echelon of the conference. KU is riding high after a moral victory against Oklahoma…which could serve them well. Can they find a running game? Can the fat man out coach slimeball Leach? As much as it kills me, I think the Squaks could finally see a home win over a "top 10" (chuckle) team. We shall see.

3) Colorado (4-3, 1-2) at Missouri – CU clings to a bowl game opportunity with an decent shot at smacking Mizzou on homecoming in Columbia. Oh sure, they don’t have a quarterback and can hardly move the ball, but the Buff defense has been playing rather well of late. Not that I think Colorado wins this game…but the longer they stay in it, the more frustrated Mizzou will become. This game is decided truly in the first 2 possessions. If it goes late...look out.

4) Kansas State (4-3, 1-2) vs. Oklahoma – KSU almost always upsets somebody they have no business playing with. Last year it was Texas. This weekend, is it the Cat's turn to come out of nowhere and shock the world? Ummmm…no, but it's a nice thought.

5) Nebraska (4-3, 1-2) vs. Baylor – Now that order is restored, the Huskers will pretend it’s the mid 90’s all over again and shoot for a big win over Baylor. Oh sure in the old days that would mean a 60 point thumping…but these days, you’ll take what you can get. Could this be the last Husker win of the season? Hmmmmm. King Bo's defense NEVER plays well against mobile QB's.

6) Iowa State (2-5, 0-3) vs. Texas A&M – How do you only score 7 points against Nebraska? At home? Seriously, that takes some skill. This weekend’s matchup of toilet dwellers will decide who becomes the first Big 12 team to be mathematically eliminated from bowl contention. Why this shootout isn’t on TV, I’ll never know.

SOUTH:
1) Texas (7-0, 3-0) vs. Oklahoma State – OK, I’m a believer now. UT’s front four are as nasty as they come. Hell, who needs linebackers when you can just bypass lineman and get to the QB. Okie State is about all that lies between UT and a date with most likely Mizzou on the frozen tundra of Arrowhead later this season. After last week, I’m guessing that doesn’t exactly strike fear into the heart of Mack Brown’s players. UT rolls in this one. Consider it my lock of the weekend.

2) Oklahoma (6-1, 2-1) at Kansas State – I had no idea OU’s defense sucked as bad as it has the past few weeks. Granted, UT has a pretty decent signal caller, and Todd Reesing played pretty well last week, Josh Freeman is going to need a once-in-a-lifetime effort to pull this one out. OU, like Texas has taken weeks off in the past and been upended. This one may be closer than people think, but KSU simply doesn’t have the horses offensively.

3) Oklahoma State (7-0, 3-0) at Texas – The undefeated run comes to an end in Austin as Cowboy dreams go down the toilet faster than Boone Pickens' fortune. Mike Gundy has a nice little outfit that will be pretty good for the next few years. But after watching both teams up close the past couple weeks, I’d be shocked to see the Cowboys in the game at halftime.

4) Texas Tech (7-0, 3-0) at Kansas – I never thought I’d say this…but the North might get one over on the south Saturday in Lawrence. KU found their vertical game against the Sooners, but Tech still is giving up lots of points. Throw in a horrible road record over the past few years, and all signs are pointing to a Redleg victory. (Ugh, that hurt to type)

5) Baylor (3-4, 1-2) at Nebraska – The Huskers…for some reason…are feeling awfully good this week. The normal apathy is still in the air, but talk is now of winning the Big 12 North. (Yes, they actually think they can win the North.) Can a team like Nebraska overlook Baylor of all teams? It’s possible. But then again, Robert Griffin right now is a one man team, and I’m not sure Baylor has ever won a Big 12 road game. The Bears could make a major statement over a bad team if they pull out a victory. Don’t snicker Husker fans…it’s possible.

6) Texas A&M (2-5, 0-3) at Iowa State - A&M is starting to score a few points. That’s the good news. The bad news is, they’ve given up 43 points or more in each of their past three games. Iowa State hasn’t scored 43 points all year (Ok, they have..but looked brutal last week against the Hicks.) Who shows more life to stay out of the basement? Who cares. Is this game even on the radio?

(Photo Thanks - Lincoln Journal Star and MLB)

My Belt and Your Delusions

2008-10-19T19:22:00.004-05:00

I’m going to give it to you people straight. I’ve VERY rarely shocked. I’ve been doing this “job” for a long time, and I spend a lot of time looking at the overall big picture when you are completely unable to. I try and break down not just stats but the “sight test” on every team/game/situation I can. I know that pundits…for the most part…are complete idiots, and that all you need is a computer and ½ a brain these days to match Todd McShay, Bill King or any of the countless other “experts” on college football that fill the airwaves, cyberspace and cable boxes across America.

This weekend of course is no exception.

I’m not going to lie to you people. I didn’t watch the Nebraska game. I didn’t realyl care. It was a game pitting two horrible programs…one of whom had lost three straight games and the other who was just assrammed by mightily Baylor. Nothing was on the line for either team except pride, a rare conference win…and maybe bragging rights within some married couple who lives in Council Bluffs. (Besides, I thought Versus was a made-up network. You mean your game really WAS on that channel? I thought they only ran Babe Winkelman reruns? Heh, who knew?)

I don’t know if you played well. I don’t know if you flexed your “order” and put down the wrath of God down on the mightily Clones and once and for all showed them who was the 5th place boss of this 6 horse division.

Wasn’t home. Didn’t watch. Didn't break my neck to try.

Oh don’t get em wrong…I’ll go back and look at highlights and some stats and some articles on the game. But let’s face it…all I need to know is the final score to know exactly how you are going to act the following week. (Again, did I mention I’ve done this a while?) All of this was and will be a given…but that’s not the predictable part.

No, the predictable part is the avalanche of chest pounding, name calling, and all-out guffawing that surrounded Missouri’s 56-31 demolition in Austin.

Now, I will say this first and foremost..and for those of you who are new (and apparently there are many)…this is not something that just popped into my head. I've said this many times, and I will say this again: This is not a Mizzou cheerleading blog. I don’t pretend this is a Mizzou cheerleading blog. I mention Mizzou over the past few years more because they happen to be the team I was saddled at birth with and the team that has pretty much moved into the apartment atop the division that you used to live in for quite a few years. But regardless of what I say, I know good and well that you are going to read into this whatever you wish to read into this lame duck corner of cyberspace.

It is not a shock. It is not unexpected. In fact, I would be greatly disappointed if you didn’t wet your overalls in laughter, point, laugh, scream, giggle and high five your mom as you sat around the dinner table this morning. It is what happens to teams when they move into the spotlight and carry the bullseye around for all to see. People celebrate their downfall. Downtrodden fans mock their falls. Disgruntled fans start blogs about them. It’s all been done.

But, since you’ll throw a fit otherwise..I will throw down my 2 cents anyway. 1) Because you have nothing better to do. And 2) Because it’s far more exciting than breaking down a 5th-6th place matchup between two teams that nobody cares about anymore. (Well, one of them at least.)

Anyway, Mizzou was not going to win that game.

Oh, don’t get me wrong..Missouri had a chance to win that game because they do have weapons on offense and have shown the tendency to make opportunistic plays on defense. However, when you’re playing #1 in front of 98,000 of their fans, you better be able to come up with a creative way to hit the other team in the mouth right away. You better be able to get turnovers, run the football and basically out-physical a team that is coming off of an emotional high.

One play into the game, you know that wasn’t going to happen.

Regardless of Texas’s standing as the #1 team in nation, Missouri’s season changed not in downtown Austin…but at home the week before, while letting a talented, but beatable Okie State team finish them off on their home field. Had the Tigers been able to pull that game out last weekend, they could have afforded themselves a blowout loss in Austin, and still not fallen far enough to put them out of contention by the time the Big 12 title game comes around the first week of December. However, since they did lose to the Cowboys, they then put their slim National Title hopes on pulling an upset against a powerful team, a hostile prime-time crowd in a place their school hadn’t won since the mid 90’s….1890’s.

So with that being said, not a whole lot has changed this week. I didn’t expect the Tigers to win the National title. (Go and find where I did if you're bored) And no, I didn’t expect them to go undefeated. Hell, I didn’t even pick them to win the conference at the beginning of the year. But if it makes you feel better to slap your knees, spit through your tooth and drop that bottle of moonshine in a hysterical fit of laughter…have at it. You don’t author a blog like this for years and years and not expect to take crap when your own teams loses. I can handle it. I've been through worse.

However…the funny part is: Is your own team any better today because of it? Are you any closer to restoring your order now that Missouri won't be punching a ticket to Miami? Do you really feel that much better beating a bad bad team like that? Didn’t you beat the hell out of that same team last year when you finished face down in the Big 12 toilet? Did you even watch your own game? (Again...Versus...who knew?)

Regardless of what my team does…or even your team for that matter…the apathy I spoke of on Friday is just as much about me as it is you. Ok, my team got beat by the #1 team in the nation. You may forget this is the same team who lost 77-0, 66-0 and 73-0 within a 5 year span in the late 80’s and early 90’s. This is the same program that AVERAGED 3.7 wins per game from 1984 through 1997. Think I’m really all that upset? (Hell, they weren't even favored) Did you forget that prior to last year, the highest my team had been ranked IN MY LIFETIME was 13th? (in 1998) Do you have any idea how bad that program was?

If you would have told me 5 years ago that my team would get gouged by 25 points on National TV against Texas …I would have quickly shot back…”YOU MEAN WE GET TO BE ON NATIONAL TV!?!?!”.

If you don't get what I'm saying...you may as well quit reading right now. I don’t expect you to get it. I wouldn’t dream in a million years that you would get it. I know the world will not spin backward in order for you to get it.

This fight is long since over, because even if things are like old times for a few hours on a given Saturday, the landscape has still changed. Streaks have been broken. Barriers have been knocked down. Your snotty arrogance simply doesn’t sting as much because despite our one week trip back in time….you are still a shell of your former selves, and my team is …well…very much different as well.

Missouri has beaten Nebraska four of the six years. In the past few years...I have witnessed my own team…the very team I was mocked for DECADES in supporting….absolutely destroy you…both at home and away. Even if we slip back into our roles of old…the points have been made and toil and torment will have changed forever. Even if things WERE changing (which I highly doubt)...You can’t downplay the past few years, just as you can’t change the stained pompous egotism that has soiled your soul for generations.

I’ve made my point.
I’ve won my battle.
Nothing will change the outcome…not even one Saturday in October where time seemingly goes backwards.

So please keep up the hate mail. Please tell me how bad my team is..all the while ignoring the little fact that they are still light years ahead of yours. Tell me how bad I’m supposed to hurt, when I’ve already long since watched you destroyed. Tell me how awful I’m supposed to feel when I’ve already lived through years so lean they would have driven most fans insane.

I’ve already crossed the finish line and no single event..no matter how hard you try..will ever change that. I'll still be me, and you'll still be a fuzzy shadow of the fan you once were.

I've already won your belt. There is no rematch.

Autumn Apathy

2008-10-17T15:34:00.006-05:00

Want more proof that the Husker hating movement is dead?

Look no further than today, October 17th, 2008. The 3-3 Nebraska Cornhuskers play the 2-4 Iowa State Cyclones tomorrow for the right to stay out of the Big 12 North basement. Regardless of who I think/know will win, the few Husker fans I have talked to all quietly and solemnly seem pretty confident of a win. Hell, even Phil Steele said Nebraska would finish 8-4 this season (there’s the kiss of death right there.). But regardless, the state just doesn’t gear up for football games the way it used to.

Friday discussion about the game simply doesn’t bounce off of the office walls anymore. "Red Friday" doesn't bring me hayseed after hayseed, parading around in their red apparel that looks like it was stolen from Santa’s closet and slapped with a stupid looking ‘N’. (Although some still represent if for no other reason but habit.) It's not just like any other day. Quiet. Bland. Colorless.

But although I’m sure the deep-rooted love affair between a football team and its fans still flickers here…these days it simply is pushed out of sight and for the most part…out of mind. Sports talk shows in the city now spend more time talking about fixing your fantasy football team than they do how Nebraska is going to handle a schizophrenic Iowa State offense who has the potential (but not consistency) to put up points. But whether this is quiet confidence or simply indifference, the fact remains:

If you lose this game... life won’t really get all that much worse for you.

Oh sure, losing to the conference doormat Clones would be embarrassing, and call after call of angry, mesh-hat wearing fans would flood the call-in shows and message boards. But in the big grand scheme of things…would it hurt you any worse? Would it sting anymore? Would it make you do anything more than simply put your head down..rub your forehead a bit, and then go on with your day trying to figure out whether Wheel-of-Fortune or Entertainment Tonight is worth your valuable Friday night TV time.

Folks, the end of the road is already here, simply because you…and I for that matter…simply don’t care that much anymore. Hell, you people don’t’ even send good hate mail or comments like you used to. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you people for years and years and years. As soon as the ship starts to sink….even if you do pull it out of the water…you still have to figure out how to make it sail again. And by the time you do…1/2 the people who used to care…won’t anymore.

Look, I’m not one to rail on people being bandwagon fans, because for the most part…they don’t exist. Oh sure, the Tampa Bay Rays will play in front of a sellout crowd in the ALCS tomorrow night…while the place was a tomb for years….but for the most part…fans will always be fans. They just will be more vocal about their support when their team wins. It’s human nature. You can’t stop it. You can’t fight it or complain about it. Need another example?

Let’s look at KC Chiefs fans like myself. For a good period of time, the Chiefs played hard-nosed football in an NFL cathedral of BBQ smoke and electricity. Although they never had enough to get over the hump, they almost always won at home…and that will buy you a lot of leeway when your team eventually goes south. But now that they have won 5 of their last 21 games, people simply don’t care as much. Oh sure, they’ll go to the stadium…some may even cheer. But that live-and-die-by-the-team mentality is only available when there is hope of something more in the end.

As Husker fans, I’ve never questioned your passion…only your sanity.

So here we are on a Friday afternoon…smack in the middle of the season with huge games all around us, and even I am having trouble getting riled up about pretty much anything. I know your team sucks. Most of you know your team sucks. Why do you need me to remind you? Sure, you deserve to be reminded for being a peckerhead for 30 years…but quite frankly, I have my own problems with my own team…and the white-hot arrogance and entitlement that oozed through this city has long since petered out over the past 13 months. I’m sure it’s still there in all its glory...somewhere…but I simply don’t have to deal with it anymore if I choose not to.

The fight is over..and quite frankly...you bore me now.

Anyway....

A couple of other items:

**
Lots of people asking my opinion on the Missouri vs. Texas game this weekend. Although I’m sure the atmosphere will be great, and Texas is due for a letdown…I simply don’t see the Mizzou offensive line holding up against the UT pass rush. I think Daniel and company will get their points..but on the flip side, McCoy should be able to exploit the corners (away from William Moore) with Shipley. That will leave the underside open with the newly discovered running game, and that will be that.

I think Mizzou hangs around, but doesn’t have enough in the end…nearly mimicking the 31-41 loss in Normal against the Sooners last season. (And no, I won’t be devastated. Losing to good teams is not the end of the world. Losing 5 straight road games and 16 of your last 29 while calling yourself a “National power” …is.)

**
If there’s a football game on the Versus network…and Cox Communications offers a channel called, “Versus-HD”…wouldn’t you think that game would be broadcast…oh I dunno…in HD? Is there something with the rules of Mountain West games regarding HD? In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a MWC game in HD on television before. Oh well..thanks to BYU’s predictable choke job in Ft. Worth..we won’t have to worry about them for a while. (Until Utah comes out undefeated..just as I told you at the beginning of the year.)

**
Havn’t bitched about UNO hockey for a while. Why? Because they lost me, that’s why. Yesterday, Traitor Tom interviewed UNO’s chancellor, who basically threw down the law 5 years too late regarding Mav coach Mike Kemp. Only in this town would 12 years of “trying hard” be good enough. I don’t care if you are a nice guy and your program was created from scratch. If you’re 6th in the nation in attendance…play in an NHL caliber arena and the best you’ve ever done is a Conference runner up trophy (you won in year #1 by the way)…you should go.

I’ll be back when Mike Kemp or those who employ him figure out that constant 5th-8th place conference finishes are not good enough when you’re well into decade #2 of a program. Ask KC Chiefs fan how two decades of mediocrity tastes just about now.

I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

**
I’ve mentioned this in years past…but I think it is worth repeating: I really hate Halloween.

Now, I’m not some sort of religious zealot who is in a constant crusade against all things evil and Satanic. If people want to get freaky and dress up like a decapitated clown…more power to you. However, I’m not sure why I should be singled out, because I don’t like to “dress up” like some freakshow, just so I can show how hard core into Halloween I am. So with that being said..here’s a list of some of my heavy hitters in terms of what makes Halloween suck:

1) Candy. If I’m a kid and I’m begging you for some candy while my mom humiliates me in this homemade Spiderman costume..the least you can do is keep out the damn Brach’s stars and those piece of shit bit-o-honey’s. WHO LIKES THESE THINGS!?!? They taste like bathroom caulk that I scraped out between the baseboard of my toilet. GIVE UP THE GOODS if I go through the trouble of humiliate myself.

2) Office parties with kids. I’m sorry, but I’m done lying about how cute your kid is in his little fireman’s costume. The coat is obviously spray painted, the hat looks like something you put together with crate paper and the very least you could do was hide that stupid ass Eric Couch jersey under his 900 degree coat. Instead of parading him past your co-workers in a coat that would broil a side of beef, how bout you stick to your own neighborhood and humiliate him in front of unsuspecting neighbors who don’t have to put up with your lame stories 300 days a year.

3) “That Neighbor”. You know who I’m talking about. I’m taking my two small kids through the neighborhood, and some clown has turned his garage into “Hell on Earth 2008”. Ok, fine. You want to go through all the trouble of cutting up cow’s brains, plastic chainsaws and orange decorative strobe lights…but don’t look at me to recognize you as some sort of Satanic Bob Villa. So you can throw blankets over a wall and put dry ice in a bucket…wow, that takes some real talent. While you’re at the art of not being scary…can you do me a favor and not jump out from behind your bushes with a chainsaw? I’m already going to be paying out my ass for years on clothes, college and weddings…I sure as hell don’t need to throw therapy on top of it all. Let it go. You are a douche.

4) Kids who come to my door 90 minutes later than everybody else. I don’t care if your dad is pounding PBR and watching UFC before he takes you out. Standard Halloween candy distribution time is 6pm to 8:00pm CENTRAL time. After that, you’re no longer celebrating a time honored tradition, but trespassing with intent to destroy property. Don’t do it. Oh, and stay off my lawn while you’re at it.

5) Pumpkins. I don’t get em. I’ll never get em. They’re heavy…they rot and they’re way too easy for the disgruntled neighbor kids (who are outside my dark house at 8:01) to smash and kick around. They taste like crap, and really have no other use other than fill up garbage cans on November 1st.

Finally…don’t get me started again this year about the absolute WORST thing about Halloween: Something so evil and demented, it calls for its own special place in the deep bowels of hell that lives deep within the universe.

I’m not sure who the guy was that invented the “Pumpkin Patch/Farm” concept, but I hope that person is shot, hung and eaten by fire ants. In case you’re not familiar with the “Pumpkin patch” concept…let me remind you once again what we’re talking about. Take one city outlying farm and one bored farmer who realizes that he can charge $20 a head for suburban yuppies to pack into their SUV’s….roll down a 1-lane dirt road and smash into a dirt-infested woodland hell-hole with 90,000 kids under the age of 10 as they experience….”Autumn”.

First of all, the “rides” aren’t scary. That’s not a dinosaur, it’s a hay bale with a blanket and a bucket on top of it. Second of all, dogs, cats and chickens do not make a “petting zoo”. Oh, and I’m sure the health inspector would be thrilled shitless to know that the “petting zoo” is located right next to the stand that you sell $9 turkey legs. (Do we get to watch you slaughter the turkey while gasping children look on? I had to watch my grandma do that on her farm when I was a kid, and I’d gladly pay a 9 bucks the suburban kiddies’ react to that.)

And who decided hayrack rides are fun? Riding in the back of a big ass tractor, in a bed of sneeze-inducing hay..packed with more little kids…into a giant field of pumpkins…is not entertaining…and remember, you paid $20 bucks for this.

Maybe I’m getting old? Maybe I’m October’s version of Scrooge? Or maybe I’m right and they’re wrong.

Regardless….Bah humbug.

Enjoy the games.

Halfway Home

2008-10-14T21:18:00.005-05:00

If there is a downside to the greatest sporting season of the year it is this: It just goes by too damn fast. I’m not sure what the hell happened, but suddenly it’s mid October, and Christmas will be here before you know it. However, when you think about it…that’s part of the beauty of college football. Unlike baseball, basketball and pro football…which drag on forever….college football is a dogfight every week. Whether or not you’re one of those “we need a playoff” freaks or not, you’ve gotta admit: The greatest part about college football is the week-to-week breakdown, the morphing of matchups and the uncertainty of it all at once.

What do I mean?

No other sport is so condensed and yet so spread out. Each weekend brings a battle on the field, followed by 2-3 days of hard-core analysis. Then by Tuesday or Wednesday, the next big weekend starts to come into view and you start all over again. It’s sometimes maddening, oftentimes frustrating, but every time, it’s a beautiful thing. Ask any Missouri or Oklahoma fan this week if they're pissed off about their team's performance last week and well...you won't hear much because they're too busy worrying about this Saturday. (Well, except for OU who has Kansas at home. They can probably afford to look back a bit longer)

So now that we’re ½ way through the regular season, what have we learned about our good friends from Lincoln? What have we learned about the Big 12? What have we learned about college footbal in general? What are we still trying to figure out?

Obviously it’s lame…but it oftentimes is appropriate once or twice a season to step back and take a look at where we are. So with that, I give you the first half:

WHAT WE KNOW:
- We know that Bo Pelini is a horrible coach and Nebraska is no better than they were a year ago. Ok, it’s far too early to call him a horrible coach and this weekend will go a long long way in telling us about your future. But this much we do know: Pre-season predictions of 9-3 seasons, fully stocked cupboards and warm-weather bowl dreams were..and always were a complete and total figment of your wildly red-clad over active imagination. You weren’t going to win 9 games. You were never going to win 9 games. You should feel butt-ass ridiculous for even DREAMING of winning 9 games. Win 6 first..then worry about 9.

- We already knew that the Pac-10 and Big 10 have ruined many a college football season with their lame Rose Bowl tradition, and their championship game-less invitations to the BCS title game time and time again. But what we didn’t know, was how pathetically awful both conferences really are. Ohio State lays another gigantic egg on a big stage: Michigan is about to go 2-10 for the first time since Jesus was in Pampers: Wisconsin, Illinois, Oregon and Cal are all over-hyped shams who wouldn’t finish in the top half of the Big 12 or hell, even the Mountain West. But rest assured, we also know that either USC or Ohio State will somehow find their way to Miami. You can count on it and you know I'm probably right.

- We knew the Big 12 was tough but Good Lord…. McCoy? Bradford? Daniel? Ganz? (Ha, just kidding), Harrell? Robinson? (I don’t care how good his numbers are or how good he looked against Mizzou…I’m not sold on that kid yet.) Did you see how fast Texas and Oklahoma looked? Did you see how much speed Okie State has? Did you see how Mizzou could have a HORRIBLE game, and still go for 460 yards of offense? Either way, the conference is as strong as it probably has ever been. Even in the middle, Kansas, Colorado and hell…even Baylor are keeping their heads above water enough to have dreams of making noise in late December.

- We know the Heisman is the most over-hyped…over-analyzed…over-discussed piece of junky hardware on the planet. I know it’s a big deal…but the second Eric Crouch won that thing (opening the door for a cascade of future copier salesmen to win) it lost it’s luster. The entire award has more to do with ESPN and ABC than it does with the player who actually is the best in the country. Who's going to win? McCoy? Bradford? Nate Swift? Who knows...who really cares. We'll watch. We'll find out who won. We'll forget in 2 weeks. Happens every year.

- We know Nebraska still can’t win a big game. 19 straight games against a top 20 team without a win? Only Duke can say that with you. Wow, that’s really saying something.

- We know Kansas is still made of smoke and mirrors. Now hear me out Beakers…your QB is very good and even your coach can outwit his foes with the best of them. But your lack of a running game and zero speed on defense is finally catching up with you. SERIOUSLY, did you think you were REALLY that good when Kerry F’ing Meier is your best big-play weapon? You should take it as a compliment if anything; no team has done more with less over the past 2 seasons than Kansas. Props to you, it sure beats sucking.

- We know Nebraska fans will STILL whine, piss and moan about ANYTHING when they lose. Seriously…4 straight days of outrage because some QB who hates you called you dirty? You think Conrad Dobler got all pissed and bent out of shape because people called him dirty? How bout Bill Romanowski? Truth be told, you people will flip out about ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING if it allows you to not think about how bad you suck. Whether it’s demonic fans in Boulder or some punk in Pennsylvania stealing your lucky red giant foam cowboy hat…you people have set a new standard for whiny ass crybabies everywhere. I’d hate to see what you’d do if you really had something to whine about. Frick’n babies.

WHAT WE DON’T KNOW
- We STILL don’t know if Missouri can get over that hump…but we will real soon. Lose to Texas this week in Austin and the Big 12 dreams are still alive…but kiss any chance at a Cinderella season for the ages goodbye. (With the most talent in school history to boot). That's how it goes though. It's nearly impossible in this day and age to go undefeated. Take the time to enjoy it when you have a shot at it.

- We still don’t know how the hell Marlon Lucky is the Big 12's leading returning rusher from last season. Seriously…how did he do that? He looks like a 40 year old man running at times out there. Now granted, I did think he looked much better this past Saturday..but it should be a crime to hold that much talent and not tap into it on a consistent basis. Then again, I'm guessing being a seasoned vet and having to share with two underclassmen isn't exactly thrilling him with confidence to do better on the practice field or the weight room.

- We still don’t know who is going to win the South this year…or even who the front-runner. Texas of course took a huge step forward with their win over Oklahoma. However, you and I both know that the horns have a letdown or two or three still left in them. Obviously they hold the inside track right now…but lets see if they can put up that second half effort the rest of the year.

- We still don’t know why everybody pleasures themselves over the SEC. I’ve seen Georgia, Alabama, Kentucky, LSU, Florida, Vandy and South Carolina all play on TV this season. Georgia pisses all over themselves, Alabama has one good receiver and a QB with 6 names, Kentucky sucks and South Carolina looks like they can’t move the ball at all. Tennessee? Are you kidding me. Florida loses to Ole Miss. Vandy looks great and then loses to Miss State? And don't even get me started with Auburn....Yuck. I realize they’re normally the best conference 9 years out of 10…but let’s call it for what it is…ESPN’s lapdog with an allergy against scoring points. Oh well, at least they have a championship game, unlike a few other conferences I know.

- We still don’t know why Texas Tech isn’t just stomping people these days. They have TONS of talent. They won a New Year’s Day bowl last year. Yet an overtime game with Nebraska? Struggling with Nevada? And why the hell are they running the ball so much this year? You have the best damn receiver in the country and your school’s all-time leading passer. (Which is saying something at that place.) Leach always tries to get cute, and it’s going to catch up with him soon.

Oh well, enough of that filler. On to the Power Poll.

NORTH:
1) Missouri (5-1, 1-1) at Texas: Mizzou’s entire season boils down to one hell of a challenge in Austin. Sure, conference and division titles are still very very real, but the one-in-a-lifetime shot at a National Title is slipping away. My gut says the game will be decided in the first 5-10 minutes. If Mizzou can take the first few punches, they have the horses to compete. If UT comes out and punches them in the mouth early, it’s going to be a long long day.

2) Kansas (5-1, 2-0) at Oklahoma: Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life Beakers. Now you get to take on a really really pissed off OU team in their backyard. Psssst – They’re better than Virginia Tech. Just a warning.

3) Colorado (3-3, 0-2) vs. Kansas State: I don’t care what you say…who else are you going to put 3rd in the division? CU has lost three straight and has had lots of trouble scoring points of late. A good effort in Lawrence last weekend was lost by giving up two rushing touchdowns to the KU waterboy. Oh wait, that was Jake Sharp and apparently he really is on the team.

4) Kansas State (4-2, 1-1) at Colorado: It’s kinda chic to rip on KSU of late. They were lit up by Tech..thumped by Louisville and gave up 30 points to A&M. Yet somehow, they’re still two wins away from being bowl eligible with Nebraska and ISU still on the schedule. Josh Freeman is quietly having a fairly decent year; he’s 10th in the nation in passing efficiency. Unfortunately, that’s only good for 6th in the conference. Yeesh.

5) Iowa State (2-4, 0-2) vs. Nebraska: The Clone’s Super bowl is Saturday against a team that has absolutely zero respect for them. ISU looked absolutely putrid in Waco last weekend, but has scored 31 or more points in 4 of their 6 games. Nebraska is looking at this game as a scrimmage. Tell me you don’t see this coming.

6) Nebraska (3-3, 0-2) at Iowa State: The Huskers lead the nation in moral victories with 3 so far this season. Texas Tech played a game so bad, they would have lost to 99% of the teams in the country..yet somehow Hick nation found another way to piss into the wind against a Tech team that obviously doesn’t think much of them. Despite all the feel good vibes, NU ranks 100th in passing defense, 84th in total defense and 85th in scoring defense. Yup…order restored. (Cue the speech about playing the “toughest schedule in the country” because San Jose State beat up some WAC teams)

SOUTH
1) Oklahoma (5-1, 1-1) vs. Kansas: I don’t’ care what you say or what neutral field saw them lose. I still say OU has more talent, more speed, more playmakers than anybody in the league. One thing Bob Stoops teams do well is play well really really pissed off. God have mercy on you Todd Reesing.

2) Texas (6-0, 2-0) vs. Missouri: Don’t get me wrong…UT is still absolutely loaded with a filthy defensive line and linebackers who can fly all over the field. However, they still have some glaring weaknesses in the running game and the defensive backfield. Texas hasn’t had to handle the pressure of being #1 in the regular season since the 1984 season. With a giant bullseye on their back, I simply see too many opportunities to slip up. Maybe I’m wrong..but I don’t think UT would win 5 more times if they played OU 10 on a neutral field.

3) Oklahoma State (6-0, 2-0) vs. Baylor: Yes, OSU is fast. Yes, OSU has an underrated QB, big tall wide receivers and a pretty physical defense. But it took a horseshit call on the final drive, and every break available to beat Missouri..and yet they still almost pissed it away by taking a knee with too much time remaining. Reading OSU propaganda this week, the Pokes are feeling pretty good about themselves, and I guess for good reason. But you and I know that team won’t play a perfect game every weekend. Now that they’re top 10, the pressure is just beginning.

4) Baylor (3-3, 0-2) at Oklahoma State: This team reminds me so much of the early Brad Smith-led Mizzou teams. Robert Griffin is ridiculous to watch, and probably has better touch on the short ball than Smith did. Unfortunately, he’s not surrounded by very much talent (hmmm..sounds familiar) and still makes rookie mistakes. They’re going to get clocked most likely this weekend, but teams like this are scary the deeper you go into the season.

5) Texas Tech (6-0, 2-0) at Texas A&M: Do I honestly think Tech is worse than Baylor? Hell no, but you can’t give a half-assed pathetic effort like that and not expect to drop a ton in my eyes. Like I said before, this team has more offensive talent than almost anybody, but you can see it in their body language that they are going through the motions. Maybe they’re just waiting to play a good team in the spotlight…I dunno. But that team looked BAD against a horrid Nebraska program that hasn’t done jack shit in 7 years on Saturday. They better get things fixed before the schedule gets ugly later on.

6) Texas A&M (2-4, 0-2) vs. Texas Tech: They should let that Collie coach a game. Could he really do that much worse of a job than Mike Sherman?

AJ

**PROGRAM NOTE**

I will be out of town this weekend, and will not be able to approve your smart ass comments, homophobic propaganda, rusty logic and booger jokes. No real reason to tell you, other than don’t bitch at me all day Sunday when nothing shows up. Husker/Tigers win, Husker/Tigers loss, I’ll be right shortly after. You’ve been warned in advance.

Just When You Think.....

2008-10-11T23:43:00.006-05:00

Looking back on the day…we should have seen it coming. I mean...Oklahoma… a team with more talent than God, had no business allowing Colt McCoy to go up and down the field in the second half. Hell, even the Texas running game came alive out of nowhere…something that hadn’t really happened the past few weeks. But alas, the game proves why it is so great…with twists and turns from every direction leave you wondering just how in the hell you could miss such inconsistancies. I mean good lord....USC loses to Oregon State? Florida lost to Ole Miss? Where does it end and what do we make of all this? How can ANYBODY predict anything regarding this crazy game?

First…let’s start with you.

You all had a very nice game. In fact, I was almost ready to politely applaud your effort against a lifeless, overrated and completely bored Texas Tech team…which let’s face it…probably didn't even watch film on you after that horrific effort against Mizzou last week. But alas, the Red Raiders couldn’t do what even San Jose State did a good job at..and that was keep the Hick running game down while forcing Ganz to throw on 3rd down. (Seriously...even Western Michigan and New Mexico State had some success at knocking Marlon Lucky down.)

Unfortunately for Leach and company, they weren’t able to keep the horrifically pathetic Husker running game in check, at least for less than four years at a time...which as a perfect opportunity for Joey Ganz to showcase his rifle right arm and have the game of his life; battling back like a warrior for a huge huge victory.

Ok, so he threw quite possibly the dumbest pass of his life in overtime…but damnit…when your program is being flushed down the toilet, what more can you ask for? But you don’t have time to worry about your own shitty team…because you’re taken aback, celebrating your proxy victory over the evil that colon-thundered you at home just 7 days ago. (I don't recall as much celebration in 1997 after your (split) National Title as I saw when Missouri went down in a thriller tonight in Columbia.

So, as for Missouri…I’m not sure where you read such a thing…but I don’t recall predicting a Mizzou national championship. I didn’t count on an undefeated season, a Chase Daniel slam-dunk Heisman nor did I think any sort of easy victory over Okie State was on tap. But, since your own team sucks and you now root against every team above you (Trust me, I know how this works)…let’s break it down. (By the way...if Mizzou beats Texas next weekend...which let's face it...anything can happen this season...they'll be right back in the thick of things)

I’m not sure what Mike Gundy did to his defense, but the pressure the Pokes put on Daniel won the game. I’m not going to lie to you..I’m not some sort of offensive line guru, but I’d like to know how the same offensive line that allowed Daniel to make a four course meal in the pocket while in Lincoln last week could allow that much pressure. Perhaps Okie State is just that good or the Husker front four just sucks that bad. Not sure…but props to Okie State. They outplayed the Tigers in almost every part of the game. They deserve all the credit they can get...I was very very impressed. (especially considering how young they are)

Also, not sure what was wrong with Jeremy Maclin, but he was out of sync all night. You never know whether it is the scheme against him or if he was injured or just having a really crappy night…but regardless, the Cowboys did a great job of taking him out of the game.

Hell, I even thought the Mizzou defense did great at times, but had a hard time stopping the counter draw…which is ironic because it’s the same damn play their own offense runs. They stopped OSU when they had to and gave the offense a chance to win….but in the most ironic of situations, Daniel fires an interception where he is completely screened by the defender…just as Van Alexander’s pick on Joey Ganz last week was caused by a lineman blocking the defender within his vision.

Game over. That's life.

So in the end…Oklahoma has a loss. USC has a loss. Ohio State has a loss. LSU has a loss..hell Florida lost at home to an Ole Miss team that is light years behind what Oklahoma State brings. But in the end, you have to give credit where credit is due, and Mizzou got caught either looking ahead or looking behind…the true definition of a trap game between two circled dates on their pre-season calendar.

I’m pretty sure the world will go on…the Huskers will continue to get blown out and/or moral victories over teams that are too bored to even try…and their fans…well; you people will continue to show me that you are exactly who I thought you were.

Nothing has changed tonight. Your program has lost three straight games. Your players still make idiotic penalties at horrible times. (2 more personal fouls? No...you're not dirty) Your coach is still a massive crybaby without any clue of how to act on a sideline. But in the end..it’s still a great game and a great time of the year.

Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Hell, at this rate, BYU and Tulsa will be battling it out in Miami. Don’t laugh..they may be the only ones left standing.

More to come....

Perhaps I Wasn't Clear - The Blog Remains Through '08

2008-10-11T09:48:00.001-05:00

The blog is shutting down AT THE END OF THE SEASON. Until January 11th, nothing will change. Husker fans will still be apathetic and the rest of us will continue to laugh at them.

Look for Instant Analysis on Sunday morning to go over the bloodbath in Lubbock.

AJ

Going Out of Business Sale

2008-10-09T13:27:00.007-05:00

OK, I was not ready for the outpouring of support and depression from cyberspace when I announced the self-destruction of this blog earlier this week. Part of the reason I feel it’s not prudent to continue this blog is the pressure to keep the quality at an acceptable level. (insert wise ass joke here, although the more people that read this...the more I care what it looks like) When I first started this blog, a few personal friends and some folks on a college hockey website were really the only ones who were reading it. Now, my hits have never been higher as I’m linked to sites like CNNSI.com and ESPN.com. Hell, I even contributed to a book about Husker football and became a published author, as the entire state of Nebraska has sunk to unimaginable depths not seen since before the Kennedy administration.

Is there really much more to do after that?

But seriously, I thank you for your support and your occasional kind words. Hell, I even thank you for your not-so-kind words because let’s face it….I wouldn’t author this blog if it didn’t tickle me somewhat to see Husker fans lose their minds and fire off verbal gibberish that I can swat down like a fly against a window screen. Yes, your tears are the blood that flows through my veins.

However, I don’t want this to be some sort of indication that I’m disappearing from cyberspace all together. I’m quite certain I will someday find the strength to start a new blog about a new subject matter…and when it does, I’m sure you’ll somehow find out about it. However, just so we’re clear…this particular blog has served its purpose and done what it set out to do. Hell, to some…this blog may have even helped contribute to the now white-hot hatred between Missouri and Nebraska fans as a whole. Regardless, it took me 23 years to fight it …but I finally won the war. That is the ultimate goal for any combatant, and when you reach your goal, it’s time to claim victory and do something else.

Meanwhile…the season continues and the Nebraska football program continues plummet into the abyss at ever-quickening speed.

**

Lots of great games around the league of course, and I can hopefully take in as much as possible.

Oklahoma and Texas of course is the sexiest game of the week, showcasing one of the country’s best rivalry between two teams with annoying fight songs that share the same division. Always a good show, it seems in the past that Oklahoma or Texas has always pulled through when they hold the edge in overall talent. In other words, it doesn’t seem like the underdog wins this matchup very often.

Now Texas of course is no ordinary underdog, but they definitely don’t have the firepower that Bob Stoops has at his disposal this season. Colt McCoy looks pretty damn good to this point, but somehow is his team’s leading rusher. Even Tim Tebow couldn’t pull that off in big games…as I look for the OU defense to completely force McCoy to the air..which is a bad sign when facing that pass rush. I don’t think it’s unfathomable that Texas could win…OU has a bad habit of taking weeks off at bad times…but never in this game. I think OU wins and wins rather easily.

Meanwhile in Lubbock, Gum-chompin Bo and his merry band of yellow-flagged misfits (spitfits?) travel to Lubbock for their annual presidential year prairie beatdown on National TV. Now I’m going to be honest here, I only saw a little bit of Tech’s game with SMU earlier…but if you can give me one reason why the Husker defense can remotely slow down Michael Crabtree, I’ll give you a yummy red frosted cookie.

Tech makes a living praying off of slow and undersized defensive backs and well…..ahem. Yeah. This season, it seems that they’ve been running a bit more…but if you saw the size of the holes being opened up for Derrick Washington last week…you’ll know that’s probably not keeping Mike Leach up at nights this week.

The great thing about this game is the complete and total lack of any sort of buzz from the Hick nation. Husker pundits, media and douchebag columnists who claim to be “huge” fans of their alma mater seem to be a bit more worried about last week’s 3 second sound byte from a QB light years better than them, than they do worrying about the searing unlubricated pain they’re about to suffer at the hands of another top 10 team. (more on that in a bit.)

A great end to the day will be the clash between Oklahoma State in the gold swirling ball of hate in Columbia. Poke fans are feeling pretty good about their chances, as their team looks to catch Mizzou between two huge games. Perhaps they’re looking even ahead to next week where a win in Austin will ensure Mizzou can waltz to the finish line undefeated with a date with OU at a rather loud Arrowhead in December. (most likely lopsided with black and gold)

However, Okie State has won just 4 of their last 8 on the road….with their biggest win being a 2006 triumph over then even-more-doormat Kansas. OSU’s option/draw rushing offense plays right into the hands of Mizzou…who has actually been pretty good against the run this year. Unless Missouri fails to score in the first few drives…OSU will be forced to throw..and with crowd noise, bright lights and a less effective run game…I think it will be too much.

**

Speaking of too much, I’m really kind of disappointed I have to address this…but you asked for it.

Can you people let this whole Chase Daniel thing go? Look, I understand the kid has punked you people more than any single player in recent memory. (Do you know many players with three career lopsided wins over Nebraska?) I understand you’re angry that this caliber of player these days simply thumbs his nose at you (HA! GET IT!?!) instead of joining your ranks. However, sooner or later you’re going to have to stop your crying…dry your eyes..and realize that just because you’re not thinking about it doesn’t mean your program is in any less trouble.

You know what I’m talking about, so don’t pretend you don’t. Your little “2-3 year plan” that started with Bill Callahan is now in year 5 …and there is no end that even the bottom is in sight. Do you think it’s going to get that much better next season with a brand new QB (whom your idiot coach hasn’t even allowed more than 6 whopping attempts ½ through the year.)? Have you noticed the raised eyebrows regarding the complete lack of recruiting strength Pelini has shown so far?

Seriously, from Traitor Tom Shatel, to every Husker blogger I know…the theme ever since Saturday night's massacre has been nothing but “Daniel sucks” this and “Daniel’s a whiney bitch” that. Meanwhile, this “problem” that doesn’t seem to go away was the result of a tiny sound byte and the deafening roar of silence from the Missouri camp…whom lets face it…has way more to worry about right now than your precious little feelings or your shitty has-been program.

Look, I understand why you’re pissed about it. I did the same thing when my team sucked. I looked to focus on just about anything aside from the fact that my own team was horrible and there was nothing I could do about it. Do I expect the local media to talk about how Pelini’s teams undisciplined and unfocused? Do I expect them to do an exclusive interview with Tom Osborne to see how he enjoys watching a perennial conference doormat beat the holy shit out of his team without so much as trying last weekend? Of course not.

Your actions and your inexhaustible crying about a complete non-issue has screamed inaudibly exactly the way I predicted. So the guy hates you? Big deal. You definitely don’t have to tell me twice how easy it is to hate your guts. Perhaps you should have thought about the repercussions of your actions when you made endless booger jokes and claims regarding his ability. In the end, he basically kicked your ass, called you out for what you are and have become..and walked away to his model girlfriend...his multiple award ceremonies and his undefeated team.

Kids, you can’t give a great big middle finger much more effectively than that.

V-N Day

2008-10-07T12:42:00.004-05:00

A couple of things before this week’s power poll, in the wake of yet another 5-step drop kick to the junk of Husker nation.

**

I wasn’t really going to mention this, because to me it’s stating the obvious, but it seems this whole spitting thing just won’t die. Whether it’s the national media, Traitor Tom Shatel the “big Mizzou fan" or even some of my favorite Husker bloggers…the post-destruction conversation has drifted completely to Chase Daniel’s 5 second accusation that somebody from Bo Callahan’s team spit on him.

This whole thing is irrelevant and stupid for two reaons: First, is it supposed to shock and surprise me that somebody playing under Bo Pelini is being accused of playing dirty? This is the same team that is 115th in the nation in penalties. This is the same team who has piled up a very Oakland-like 8 personal fouls in five whopping games. This is the same team led by a coach who threw a 5 minute hissy fit during the Va Tech game over a call that he admitted he didn’t see. This is as shocking as walking into the shower yet somehow getting wet. Second, The mere discussion of this takes away from the fact of just how big of an atomic beatdown your team got to the side of it’s head on Saturday.

Look, I realize getting your brains beat in on a now-consistent basis is maddening. Hell, why do you think this blog started in the first place? But is it really necessary to soil your already dingy reputation even further by going after a guy who owns three wins over you in his career? (Averaging 45 points a game over those games.)

Now that you find yourself a perennial non-factor in the world of college football, it’s high time you figure out that what you’re feeling is completely normal. The sense of helplessness and the ability to constantly avoid reality is simply a symptom of flat-out sucking for an extended period of time. None of this should be shocking to you or me or anybody. It’s the natural ebb and flow of becoming a conference doormat. If you don't understand this now, you most certainly will in the coming weeks.

But ARE you really a dirty team? Are you in fact taking on the undisciplined and over-simplified idiot nature of your new leader?

Many of you are already bitching about the number of mistakes and penalties your team is making and yet have failed to connect the dots leading to the arrogant hothead jackass that now calls the shots? And while your coach is throwing tantrums over correct calls….your players are yucking it up…talking trash after they get a two yard gain up the middle. Does this alarm any of you? Any of you at all?

I told many of you last season after the nuclear bomb was dropped on the Husker program that rock bottom was still a ways away. Although you were lead by an aloof NFL snob and his hyper-active lunatic boss…you are now heading down the path of not only sucking…but sucking and looking like a-holes while doing it. Late hits, talking trash while giving up 5000 yards, undisciplined tantrums…it’s all a sign that Tom Osborne made yet another patented miscalculation in judgement: He brought in who you wanted instead of a guy who was ready for the job.

Meanwhile, while the Pelini Brothers and Barnum and Baily circus screams at players and officials alike up and down the sidelines…bringing to light that all-wanted “passion” you crave….Turner Gill is bringing Buffalo to life by playing hard nosed, mistake free football. When he is rightly named a BCS conference coach soon, your first pick will be spending his post game press conferences the way the pattern goes this season; explaining personal fouls, dumb mistakes and accusations of dirty play. How will that taste?

If you didn’t know what rock bottom meant before…perhaps look no further than your student section starting the wave in the wake of an apathetic 35 point home loss. No, trust me. You aint seen nothing yet. Chase Daniel may be hated by the Hick Nation, and that’s fine. It’s expected. But even the accusation brings to light a not-so-startling trend that will lead you even further into the quicksand of perpetual suckitude.

**

Speaking of rock bottom….if the writing hadn’t been written on the wall this past Saturday night in bright florescent orange paint…I may have been able to brush it off. However, after witnessing the complete and total destruction of Husker Nation in person, I really don’t have a whole lot more choice.

This war against Husker nation, this four year journey into the black dark center of the soul….has come to an end. After four years of fighting the enemy behind enemy lines, I am going to call off the dogs…pack up my things and declare ultimate victory.

Sunday, January 11th…following the BCS Championship game, I will throw the championship belt over my shoulder and step out of the ring victorious to cheers and boos alike.

Like most retirements, this is not an easy decision. I have very much enjoyed taking my struggle to cyberspace, because I think it was a story that needed to be told. Despite my ongoing 23 years of oppression, I felt that it was important that the fans of college football and citizens of the world in general…needed to know what kind of idiotic theology flowed through the veins of the citizens of this state. It has been a long war….it at times has been an ugly war. But like all wars, this one has come to it’s end. Nebraska football has been destroyed. The program lies in complete and total ruins in a Dresden-like state. There is no one left to accept surrender but the cockroaches. Apathy has moved in and taken the place of pride and relevance.

In the next few months, we will continue to chronicle the downfall of Husker nation and dance triumphantly among rotting corpses of successful seasons gone by. We will not waste one second laughing at Husker fans…because as you and I both know…they deserve it.

But in the end, my struggle has simply ceased to exist. After returning to work this week after a once-in-30-year ass-pounding of the Huskers…not one single person even mentioned the game to me. No front page story. No breakdown of stats or discussion of what the key plays to the game were. Deafening silence has filled my world, and trust me when I say that nothing could sound more sweet.

More to come on this as the season goes on…but I wanted to make sure you have been warned. (nothing I hate more than visiting my favorite blog, only to have the author say at the end of a 3 page column, “Oh yeah..this is it…thanks. Goodbye.”) Screw that…if we’re going out…we’re going out with a bang and a party representative of the victory we as Husker haters have won. Thank you for taking that journey with me, and I hope you stick around to witness then 3 month funeral that is to come.

Power Poll Time

NORTH:
1) Missouri (5-0) vs. Oklahoma State: Mizzou looked deadly on Saturday night, although against Junior High type competition. The regular season comes down to the next two games. Environment at Faurot on Saturday should be electric.

2) Colorado (3-2) at Kansas: Battle for second in the North and a ½ decent test for Colorado. Their schedule has been brutal so far this season, and you’d think it should serve them well. A win would be huge for CU’s bowl hopes later this season.

3) Kansas (4-1) vs. Colorado: KU is going to have to find somebody…anybody to run the ball. Colorado will never be confused with USC, but they do have the ability to jump up and bite you if you’re not careful. Reesing’s ability to not throw INT’s will be key here.

4) Kansas State (3-2) at Texas A&M: A must win for Ron Prince, as the JUCO experiment is running out of time. A&M is absolutely awful, and KSU sometimes seems to play better on the road. Freeman should have a field day scrambling against a hapless A&M wacking crew.

5) Iowa State (2-3) at Baylor: Good match up here of teams who make make some noise in the past couple of hears. Gene Chizek’s teams always seem to improve as the year goes along, and should pull through here over a Baylor team that is still a year or two away from .500.

6) Nebraska (3-2) at Texas Tech: Unzip. Bend over. Enjoy.

SOUTH:
1) Oklahoma (5-0) vs. Texas: Huge game that may not necessarily decide the south with Tech and Okie State looking strong. OU always seems to be up for this game, and you gotta give Stoops the edge over Mack Brown on a neutral field.

2) Texas (5-0) vs. Oklahoma: A win here for the horns would be the biggest for UT since the National Title win a few years ago. A date with Missouri looms next week, and victories over #1 and #2 in consecutive weeks might look pretty damn good on a resume. Just a guess though.

3) Texas Tech (5-0) vs. Nebraska: Tech continues to bury putrid competition, and this is no exception. This could be even worse than the 60 point bloodbath from four years ago. Thank God it’s on TV so we can all enjoy the carnage.

4) Oklahoma State (5-0) at Missouri: Okie State fans seem pretty confident going into Columbia. Most of the Pokes’ yardage this season has come off the ground (300+ ypg) but Mizzou is 15th in the nation against the run. Lack of depth may hurt them later in the game..especially against a rabid and hostile crowd.

5) Baylor (2-3) vs. Iowa State: Baylor somehow doesn’t seem like such a pushover anymore. A win over ISU here would help them take one more step past the dregs of the conference in ISU, Nebraska and A&M. Griffin reminds me a lot of Brad Smith only in an uglier uniform.

6) Texas A&M (2-3) vs. Kansas State: Seriously…Mike Sherman? WTF were you people thinking? That’s the BEST you could do?

Everything Changes - Yet Nothing is Different

2008-10-05T12:55:00.008-05:00

How do you hold a funeral for somebody who is already dead? How do you shovel dirt on the grave of someone long since buried? How do you mock the downtrodden or taunt the defenseless? If a program falls dead in the woods, does it make a sound if nobody is there to hear it?

Last evening on a stage of green, surrounded by dull grey walls and even duller fans in red, the Missouri Tigers delivered the unnecessary final death blow to the anti-Husker movement. Three whopping plays into the game, much of the world learned what the readers of this blog have known for quite some time. Predictions of 10-3 seasons are as ridiculous now as they were in May. Shouts of “Bo will get them to play harder and that is all that matters” are no more kool-aid stained and delusional than they were during the off-season.

I know many of you are visiting today to read fire and brimstone rain down verbally upon the quintessential bullies of the Big 12. And although they certainly deserve every bit of venom and then some, I simply find it difficult to really care that much. Seriously, did anything you saw last night really shock you?

For you see, your once great program is no more worse off than it was last year. Your pathetic defense and ridiculous lack of anything resembling speed is just as prevalent today as it was 364 days ago on a night much like last night in a swirling cauldron of hate in Mid-Missouri. If anything however, you should be at peace with the big steaming pile of reality that has become your program. In other words...you asked for this.

Everything is as you requested. Your beloved Tom Osborne sat on his throne high atop the stadium last night. Your former thugs and criminals roamed the sidelines without restraint as they witnessed today’s version of themselves trudging back to the sidelines gasping for breath after giving up yet another 80 yard Missouri drive. Leading your effort is your beloved defensive mastermind, who despite his ability to restrain his precious “passion”, still looks like an out-manned and out-classed high school equivalent.

But in the big grand scheme of things, besides all that, the world is really no different than it was last season, or really much after the season before that. However, your indifference and growing apathy does hide the fact well that you truly are further up the proverbial creek than you realize for one reason and one reason only:

There is nobody left to fire and nothing more you can do.

The team in red and white and the fans who cheered for them that surrounded me last night did not look like the machine that once dominated the college football landscape. What I saw was a pathetic facsimile of a storied program in love with itself and completely unable to turn the page into the 21st century. If you people spent half as much time worrying about your complete and total lack of talent and coaching as you did worrying about when Chuck Liddell was going to make an appearance, you’d probably be in far less of a hole today than you are.

The man you entrusted to (and then bragged to the world about) is a complete joke. The sloppy and inconsistent play I saw last night rivaled that of an Xbox game set against the Computer with the sliders set to zero. The whole “mystery defense” that Husker linebacker coach and head douchebag Mike Eckler was bragging about on Friday morning now seems even more hysterical than it was at the time. (Unless the plan was to simply let Missouri score at will...in which case they did a great job). But even worse than the multitude of mental mistakes, the blown assignments and late hits (nice helmet to helmet cheap shot by the way) is the complete and total inability of these men to lead.

If all you wanted to do was “pump your team up” and get them to "play hard" before every game…why the hell didn’t you save the money and just rent a copy of Rocky II? Why not play some AC-DC in the locker room if all you wanted was some clown in a four dollar sweatshirt to yell and look like a fool for 60 minutes? At least then you wouldn’t have to answer questions about an unproven hothead who’s team is very quickly taking on the personality and tempo of an undisciplined and erratic underachiever.

Come to think of it...are you sure it was your LAST coach that came from the Raiders organization?

But most pathetic in all of this is you, the fans who apparently are too ignorant or naive to realize that you’ve been sold a lemon by smiling Tom the car salesman. Then again, perhaps you had plenty of time to realize this when your student section was trying to start the wave while your team was down 45-10 in the 3rd quarter?

Now I will admit, there were several Nebraska fans who greeted me with a “welcome to Lincoln” or a nice smile. But for the most part, your overrated and self-indulgent reputation has worked against you all these years. Gone are the days of swarming conference foes within a sea of intimidation and kindness. Here are the days of half-empty stadiums, players spitting on the opposition and entire sections of your stadium being overrun by enemy fans who let’s face it…never really liked you that much to begin with.

So where does this lead us? What does this complete and total blind miscalculation do to the evolution of the Anti-Husker movement?

The correct answer is nothing, because the movement began to die a long time ago.

Like a carnival tent packing up and leaving town, the husker hating movement and eventually this blog will match your tradition and simply cease to exist. The glorious events of last night, culminating with 60 minutes of piper paying simply solidifies every single little thing that I’ve said about you in the past two years. (Go to my game-by-game preview back in August, and tell me what I said the score would be) Do you really think we as Husker haters can be any more right? Are you ever going to understand and comprehend the fact that what you had and held so dear is long gone like a whisper in the wind?

I actually somewhat felt a bit sad sitting in my 10 inch slab of wood in section 15 last night. As I looked around, I saw a confused, desperate and beaten people. One by one, as they shuffled past by me, I lightly clapped…told them to keep their chin up, and that they will soon be back in contention to fight another day.

Of course all of this was a lie.

There will never be another day and you will never ever be what you once were, let alone what you have built up in your own mind. Because of your complete and total inability to think outside of the big red box, your world will look like this for years, as other programs and other fan bases race by…not really caring whether or not you’re able to get back up and dust yourself off.

You are a complete and total afterthought that has been knocked from your perch and beaten to a unrecognizable pulp. Your condescending ways and your gigantic egos have surpassed your previous reputation, and there simply is no going back now.

So what does the future hold for those who hold such disdain toward you?

Nothing. The clock has struck 0:00 and the band has packed up and gone home. The movement is over and nature has once again set things right with the world.

The Big Red is truly dead.

Let freedom ring throughout the land.

The Day of Hate Has Arrived

2008-10-04T08:57:00.002-05:00

May God have mercy on our souls

JUST KICK THE DAMN THING OFF ALREADY

2008-10-02T14:44:00.006-05:00

OK, that’s it.

I can’t take anymore. There comes an uncomfortable time during all Hate Weeks where you have to shake out the cobwebs, step away from the fray for a moment…and re-adjust your thinking. From a taunting standpoint, look no further than my comments section to realize that Missouri fans are ready to get on with the bloodletting, while Husker fans are simply flailing away verbally, hoping to strike anything that moves; Most everything that can be said has been said. Booger smack, history lessons you name it…and now it’s come down to four words posted on Blaine Gabbert’s Myspace page. What’s next, you get all fired up about a term paper Chase Coffman wrote while in 8th grade? When does it all end?

As you know, we here at BEL find ourselves on the front lines of this little tussle on the plains. With 50+ hours left to go til kickoff, there are only so many ways I can describe the death blow about to be delivered to a once mighty, and now extremely frail fan base. Two days prior to the game, I can only remind you so many times of your past superciliousness that toyed with you like college football bloggers and Erin Andrews pictures. But the giant elephant is still in the room, and because the floors are about to cave in, we must spend another post or two regarding the best week of the year.

With that being said, in terms of Hate Week, I understand that you expect more when visiting this corner of cyberspace. I know you are looking for unique perspective and are either waiting for me to pile on God’s favorite football team just a little bit more….or your head is about to explode as I push the boundaries of your consciousness and explain to you in not-so-many-words that your team is a fraud and a sham. You are looking for direction, as the world tries to figure out just what the hell happened to the Nebraska football team…and what…if anything…can be done to save your soul? What could you possibly do at this point to make it all just go away? If Missouri rolls, as many think they will…will true order be restored? Will Hate Week as we know it cease to exist? Is Baylor involved in any do-or-die epic clashes between civilizations? I’m guessing no.

So if this actually is in fact the last hate week for the foreseeable future, what will the lasting legacy be of a “rivalry” between two fan bases who I think it is safe to say…don’t particularly like each other very much? How exactly did we get to this point and why did it take 30 years?

As is the case with many complex questions, the answers for this particular case is simple and straightforward. I’ve stated this many times to many people, and predictably, you either have refused to listen, or have pushed the truth to the back of your brain. Stop me if you've heard this before from me once, twice or five thousand times.

You did this to yourselves.

Your arrogant attitude and holier than thou mantra over the years should have been your first clue that when…not if…your program came back to earth..there would be hell to pay. You should have known that 30 years of pity claps, campus invasions, unbridled loyalty and an all out annoying persona that would make the most dedicated nun stick a pistol to her head… would lead to retribution of the most vengeful kind.

This weekend, 5,000 or so Missouri fans will decend upon your sacred cathedral of egotism and demand payback for a generation of sand being kicked in his preverbial face. These 5,000 or men and women dressed in gold will be expecting that their team take not lightly the responsibility of retribution for every single moment you’ve bestowed upon them in your ominous road to perdition.

The players themselves may not see the game for what it truly is….nor would coaches, trainers or university personnel. But you and I both know what is at stake here. You and I both know that your program can either take one last gasp of air from under 10 feet of endothermic radioactive ash….or you can be driven back to the bowels of hell from which you crawled out of so many decades ago, led by Satan's minions named Devaney and Osborne. You may not like it, you may not agree with it…but for those of us who have put up with your exhausted act for so long…we know better.

To answer your question...yes. Yours truly will be in attendance, ready to take the battle to you…the greatest fans in college football. Perhaps you will walk by me during the second half, heading to your ’94 Ford F150 as you prepare to head back to Cozad, Wisner or whatever humble po-dunk burg you reside from. Perhaps you will ignore my light applause as I wish you safe travels and a successful rest of the season? Perhaps you will simply stare through me as I proudly salute your team’s valliant effort as they trudge back through those huge ugly glass doors that make you look like a 3rd rate Arena League team? Or Perhaps you will be doing 75mph on the interstate when the clock hits :00 and I, and my fellow fans, truly celebrate the termination of pure evil? Perhaps you will be watching the Discovery Channel at home while I shout to down to your players below, “It’s OK Huskers…you played well.”

Perhaps.

Watching the nuclear destruction of your program first hand last season in a swirling ball of golden hate in was indeed enjoyable. Walking into your living room and distributing 30 years of payback….ripping the pictures off your walls and defecating on your furniture…will be indeed priceless, and most likely…the end of a movement literally decades in the making.

Buckle up and hold on.

The end game is very very near.

Passion Fruit

2008-09-30T14:51:00.007-05:00

Hate week rolls on.

After falling in last Saturday’s epic pillow fight in Lincoln, it’s fascinating to watch the uneasy queeziness of Husker fan as they prepare for the unthinkable clash with Mizzou as a double-digit home underdog. The way I see it right now, the average Hick fan falls into two camps: Uneasy and nauseated or unbridled myopia mixed with hallucinogenic confidence.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not about to sit here and lie to you and spit out that 99% of Husker fans are predicting a Husker victory. (Although if you listen to some of the call-in shows around town…you’d probably be surprised that 10-15% still hold this opinion.) For the most part, most Husker fans…against their own true feelings and 30 years of unbridled propaganda smashing against their ears…understand what’s about to happen to them.

I liken their mood to that quiet… droopy-headed slow shuffle back into the kitchen after your dad has ordered you to cut a switch from the willow tree in the back yard. You know what’s coming to you…you know it's going to hurt and you know you probably deserve it..you just don’t know how bad it’s going to be.

Again, lets be real here..hearing the faint chants of “Miz…Zou” echo through a ½ empty Memorial Stadium is going be glorious for those of us who have witnessed three decades of humiliation and torment. Since we’ve spoken about that great length this week (and past weeks), I think it’s more relevant to try and understand the pre-emptive moping and frustration that is flowing through 85% of the “greatest fans in college football.”

Don’t know what I’m talking about? You know the philosophy that is shared by a great deal of you all this week: “I know we’ll probably lose, but as long as Bo is showing so much passion, I know we’re on the right track.”

Passion?

Let’s talk about that “passion” for a second. At what point does all that passion equate to embarrassment and rolling eyes from the outside world? At what point does all that fire in your belly stop being productive, and start warning people that this program is being run by an un-prepared control freak who is either batshit crazy...or really really lame for thinking that 18-22 year old kids really care about that stuff? (I'm guessing they care about losing 15 yards in a crucial situation because their coach is acting like an idiot on a play that he admitted he didn't even see)

I will admit, part of this can be attributed to the fact that you are led by an immature head coach who has as much business taking control of a “name” program as your high school FFA mentor. That part is very very clear; he should (underline that..should) figure out at some point that acting like a complete idiot does more harm than good ….especially when he figures out that he is not only the face of his university, but the face of this state as a whole? I guess we shall see if he figures it out.

A couple of tidbits before this week’s power poll:

* Was it just me, or did Erin Andrews standing next to Bo Pelini before the Va Tech game remind you of that douchebagswithhotchicks.com website?

* At what point will you people believe me about Marlon Lucky? I understand you’ll fight for your players to the death…but when are you going to simply admit I was right when I said dude is not durable enough to be a full-time running back?

* Did Nate Swift waddling down the sidelines on that punt return for a touchdown remind anybody else of Marv Siler in 1992?

* Remember when you all laughed at me when I said you might only win 4 games this season? Think it will seem so far fetched in about 6 days? Still laughing at me over there chuckles?

* Finally, nice to see Husker players making the same mistakes they made against USC….giving the upcoming week’s bulletin board material for the opponent. So Marlon Lucky sayd the Huskers will be mad and Mizzou better watch out? Dude….you lost to a bunch of 18-19 year olds that wouldn’t finish 6th in the Big 12. Do you honestly think that was smart? Or how bout that Gene Simmons wannabe Matt Slauson who threw out the, “Yeah, they have a couple of great players on offense but we're good too” line. Uhhhh…they average nearly 600 yards of offense a game and you struggled with San Jose State. They’ve scored 31+ points in 19 of 20 games. Seriously, what the hell are you thinking? I haven’t heard anything more ridiculous since Andre Jones tried to convince me that he was going to shut down Dwayne Jarrett in Los Angeles a few years ago.

POWER POLL:

NORTH:
1) Missouri (4-0) at Nebraska : Hate Week 2008 climaxes under the lights with Nebraska taking the field as the largest home underdog of the modern era. Apparently those Vegas oddsmakers didn’t hear about those Big Husker wins during the 80’s or that there are going to be lots of Husker former players on the sidelines. Look for the line to move down once news starts to hit.

2) Colorado (3-1) vs. Texas : Texas seems to be hitting their stride prior to the annual showdown in Dallas. Ironically, you can thank Oklahoma for sending the Horns a message: Don’t take CU lightly in Boulder.

3) Kansas (3-1) at Iowa State : KU has made a living of recent years beating up on teams with even less talent than they have. Hard for ISU to get up for this one, when in recent years…KU vs. ISU meant more empty seats than a Thompson Twins reunion concert.

4) Kansas State (3-1) vs. Texas Tech: KSU has been left for dead in recent weeks, playing down to the competition in front of them. Tech is light-years ahead of Ron Prince’s team in terms of talent…and the Cat’s defense has been struggling. The Raiders sometimes lay gigantic eggs coming North in recent years…something smells fishy about this whole thing.

5) Nebraska (3-1) vs. Missouri : Missouri’s offense may be a slight bit better than the talented, but archaic offense the Huskers just played. Jeremy Maclin is going to look like Usain Bolt compared to Va Tech’s collection of rookie receivers…most of which who were in high school or on the scout team last season.

6) Iowa State (2-2) vs. Kansas : If you’re KU, aside from a new flavor of Zima being introduced, you’ve got to hope for a big lead late so they can figure out who…if anybody…can actually run the ball. (Not counting Reesing running for his life being chased by defensive linemen.)

SOUTH:
1) Oklahoma (4-0) at Baylor : Baylor has a new outlook…a dynamic quarterback and a whole new…..Ahhhhhh…forget about it. Baylor is going to get colon blasted.

2) Texas (4-0) at Colorado : I’m still not sure why everybody left the Horns for dead in the pre-season. Predicting Texas will have a “bad” season is like predicting that staring into the sun will have no ill-effect on your eyesight. I can't explain really why...it just doesn’t work that way and you'll have to take my word for it.

3) Oklahoma State (4-0) vs. Texas A&M : Huge huge huge game in Columbia next week between two hellacious offenses. Getting kicked in the sack by Texas and OU is one thing...getting throttled by Okie State is quite another. Good times in College Station these days.

4) Texas Tech (4-0) at Kansas State : On paper, this really shouldn’t be much of a battle..esepcially with KSU’s defense playing like crap. But Tech is due to take a day off. Wouldn’t shock me at least.

5) Baylor (2-2) vs. Oklahoma : Remember in 2002 when a freshman Brad Smith took #3 Oklahoma to the brink by running crazy over an OU squad that had already moved on to thinking about the next week? Not going to happen…a scare would not be without precident. Besides, it’s not like Bob Stoop’s team takes a week or two off per year anyway. But again..who am I kidding. Baylor would have a better shot against the St. Louis Rams at this point.

6) Texas A&M (2-2) at Oklahoma State : I really like A&M, their pageantry and their fans. But Mitch Sherman makes me laugh.

Feel the Hate

2008-09-28T20:39:00.007-05:00

Hate week:

A pillar of disdain and rage set upon a backdrop of hype, history and arrogance. As we stated in this very blog nearly one year ago, the college football landscape has changed significantly since the grainy, black-and-white newsreel footage days of Scott Frost, Kirk Farmer, Tommie Frazier, Kent Skornia and Eric Crouch. Gone are the triple digit point spreads, the pathetically supercilious pity claps and blind idiotic faith that leads a couple million fans through the darkness of the typical Nebraska Autumn.

Yes, hate week is many things to many people. To you, perhaps it’s just another first-weekend-of-October filled with big games, big upsets (pffffft) and SEC hype. To others it may be yet another attempt for me and others to create drama around a game played by two programs; a has been and a never-was.

Yet to me, hate week is so much more. It’s more than looking ahead, and it’s more than just two rival teams facing off on a 120 yard patch of carpet in the middle of a shithole state that has so little going for it…it’s entire identity is based upon a college football program that hasn’t done squat in 6 years. To me, it is extremely personal and every bit as real as that "Crouch for Heisman" your Stetson-wearing, Dove hunting wife has tattooed on her lower back.

You see...Hate Week brings about the feelings of yesterday and smashes them against the cold hard reality of today. In this particular case…as it did last season…hate week brings me to you…not just in commentary and sarcasm, but in full and living color. Just as last season…your long and painful drop to rock bottom is fully underway, and I intend to remind you of every pity clap you ever gave me….every snide-ass comment you ever made…and every ridiculous arrogant prediction that has come out of your mouth.

But if last year wiped your program off the map…what does this year bring? What is even the point of getting all excited for a game where…if you saw Va Tech last night…is going to carry all the drama and excitement of a trip to Harold Warp's Pioneer Village? What is there POSSIBLY left to prove before I simply shut this whole movement down and declare sweet sweet victory?

Because there is one more door to smash down, that's why. Despite the glowing aftermath, one last hurdle remains before the entire balance of power transformation is 100% complete. Winning in Lincoln…something that hasn’t been done in 30 years…would represent the end of the journey; the final nail in a coffin that has been slammed shut for quite some time. Total victory will be Missouri fans like me, standing over your program’s nearly dead body…desperately wheezing for every last ounce of breath, moments before the first sub 2:00 scoring drive early in the 1st quarter. Sporting a giant spike and cross, my boyhood team is about to make one last thrust into your heart…once and for all murdering the ghosts of the past.

What ghosts? What's the big deal you ask? Need to be reminded of your past greatness? Ok, I'll play that game. Here are some of my Lincoln favorites:

1982 – A thinned out, yet 5th ranked Husker team squeaks by the Tigers in Lincoln. Turner Gill gets knocked on his ass mid-way through the game, but then some 5th string assclown named Bruce Mathison (Who?) took the Hicks 70 yards in 11 plays with 4:45 left to play and seal the victory.

1984 – 6th ranked Nebraska, fresh off their choke job to Miami the previous year, Down 16-10 at the half, Mizzou was threatening when some Marc Munford person picked off a pass and went 57 yards for the TD. Mizzou couldn’t overcome the 23-10 deficit late, and fell again. The mighty Husker offense was held to less than 200 yards…bad news for Mizzou? They had 111. (Yes, one hundred and eleven…yards. Yes, total. )

1988 – 5th ranked and 7-1 Nebraska is down 18-17 mid way through the 4th in Lincoln when Steve F’ing Taylor of all people throws an 82 yard PASS on 3rd and 22 to some copier salesman named Todd Millikan. A field goal with 8:24 left took the lead, and another late TD sealed the victory. Mizzou would go on to a thrilling 3-8 season.

1990 – Coming 7 days after the infamous “5th down game” against Colorado in Columbia, Mickey Joseph, one of the worst Husker QB’s in modern history ran for 9000 yards as the 7th ranked hicks ran up 622 yards of offense…500 of them on the ground. The Huskers would win 69-21 as Mizzou would eventually fall to 4-7 on the season.

1991 – My first game ever at Memorial Stadium saw the Tigers take a 3-0 lead early. 63 points later, the 9th ranked Hicks would steamroll the Tigers on their way to 681 yards of total offense….most of which was gained by the 3rd quarter.

1993 – 5th ranked Nebraska stomps on Mizzou in Lincoln 49-7, out gaining the Tigers 539 to 172. Jeff Handy had an outstanding day throwing the ball for Missouri, going a Joe Montana-like 15 of 23 for 104 yards. The Tigers would lose 3 of their last 4 that season, finishing a stellar 3-7-1.

1995 – Nebraska 57 – Missouri 0

1996 – Nebraska 51 – Missouri 7

1998 – A Cinderella Mizzou’s best shot in recent memory to upend the Monte Christo-led Huskers falls in a giant pile of shit in the south end zone, as MU wide-out John Dausman drops a pass in the chest that would have set up the game tying extra point with no time remaining. Monte…fucking…Christo? Seriously? Huskers 20- Mizzou 13.

2000 – Top ranked Nebraska fights off a spunky Kirk Farmer behind the clipping-fueled returns of Bobby Newcombe. Mizzou actually out gains the Huskers 491 to 484, but to no avail. Huskers 42 – Tigers 24.

2002, 2004 and 2006 – Neither team is ranked in all 3 games, with the Huskers winning each. 2006 is punctuated with Chase Daniel firing the ball all over the place to the delight and pig squeals of 78,000 overall wearing fans. Despite racking up 220 yards in the second half, NU rides 4 Mizzou turnovers to a 34-20 lead..providing Bill Callahan with his biggest win of his short career.

And there you have it. Of all the jinxes, kicked balls, 5th downs and more…winning in Lincoln remains the last major hurdle facing the average Missouri fan. With history so near, and the point spread so wide, thousands of angry gold-clad fans will invade the cement toilet on 10th street this Saturday…hoping to witness the end game. It will be merciless. It will be glorious. It will be a lifetime in the making.

And before you hit me with USC/Florida/Georgia predictions...the odds are that there will be no overlooking. There will be no peeking past Saturday to a showdown with suddenly good Oklahoma State at home the following week. No, the average Missouri fan,…pain still lingering in his heart and sweet sweet revenge rattling around his brain…will be prepared to take full advantage of the situation.

There is no turning back the hands of time. There is no pulling the covers over your head after each Chase Daniel completion. You will be forced to sit…and watch…and soak in the payback of 30 years...all from the comfort of your favorite wooden slab you've called home 8 times a year. Yes, you and your fellow fans will have no choice but to let us enjoy our moment…our one final death-blow into the staggering former champion that tormented us for so long.
For those of you with some vacation left at work..now would be a pretty good time to head to the lake…or fix up the combine..or whatever it is you people do during bye weeks. The sight of me and my brethren taking out 3 decades of frustration in your own living room will be difficult to watch...but oh oh so satisfying. I plan to make the most of it as my greatest day crosses over with one of your worst.

You have been warned.

5 days to go.

AJ

Oh and PS – Could your coach be any bigger of a crybaby wanker? Dude, you’re the head coach of a traditional Division 1 football program. Every time you sprout that little vein in your neck to show your constituents your “passion”, it makes you look like a complete newbie idiot. (As does the chomping gum and $4 grey sweatshirt you sport on the sideline.)

Although I will give old Bo credit..it's not nearly as ridiculous as 5 to 8 Husker scrubs dancing and jiving behind the bench for the ABC cameras (while losing) as if they were on the set of America’s Best Dance Crew. There are times you need to be loose..and there are times you look like a class C1 high school team from Bennington. You love to preach how you've been there before..how bout you act like it for 30% of the world to see? You can have all the former Huskers you want on the sideline…when you act like douchebags for all the world to see…it kinda defeats the purpose.

Instant Analysis - Virginia Tech

2008-09-27T22:39:00.002-05:00

Who cares.

Hate Week is Officially Here!

Enjoy

Pundits Get Pwned

2008-09-26T21:06:00.006-05:00

I’ve spent the better part of 4 years trying to get you people to look at the big picture…on a large variety of issues. I try to use my 3rd party, neutral and most of all…non-biased objectivity to give you an honest and comprehensive evaluation of where your favorite football team stands in the eyes of others. That is my job, and that’s what I do.

And believe me...I get a lot of crap for that…especially in the last few years because I have a tendency to remind you of things I said would happen…shortly after they do happen. In case you haven’t guessed it yet I’m talking about my own statement to you just two days ago that said that you could count on USC not going undefeated this season.

Regardless of “I told you so’s”, USC’s rather predictable implosion should remind us all of something that is extremely important, yet rarely discussed. That fact is this: The internet age has given us so much information, we tend drown ourselves in it. Hell right now, as you read this journal entry, you could click your mouse a few times and find out who Hofstra beat in their final regular season game in 1977. The Internet is the greatest single information-based technological advance of our life time….but it’s killing common sense in terms of college football fans.

Does anybody else realize how ridiculous it is for not one media outlet…not one website…but pretty much EVERYBODY ON EARTH to just assume USC would roll into Miami undefeated in early January? (Especially when they have a long history of taking games off) Isn’t it a bit silly to be making claims like that when we still have a handful of days left in SEPTEMBER!?!? I love those websites and networks as much as you do…but is there ANY REASON whatsoever to have a top-50 Quarterbacks ranking list in July?

Again, I appreciate discussion about college football year round, as well as embracing all of the speculation that goes with it. And yes…TWO posts a year, I go through the North and pick what I think will happen. Then a week later I always go through Nebraska’s schedule and give you my opinion on what I think will happen there as well. Everybody is entitled to things like this, which is why I take more credence in the ESPN fan poll than I do the Coaches poll. I don't tell you that's GOING to happen...I tell you what I think will happen. I don't expect you to bet your farm on it...nor do I expect it to carry any more or less weight than some yokel who is getting paid big bucks to sit on a set in Bristol, CT.

But what gets out of control is when teams that aren’t THAT good or THAT bad get better/worse during the week simply because pundits, message boards and columnists talk about them constantly. Again, that is one of the best parts about the sport; the conversations that go on during college football season…but do you people REALLY think Georgia is the best team in college football? OK, they beat Arizona State, but didn’t they get beat by a MWC team the week before at home? OK, Knowshawn Moreno leaps into the end zone and starts to get “major Heisman consideration”, but did you see him against a very mediocre South Carolina team? 20 rushes for 83 yards isn’t exactly spectacular.

But regardless, the whole thing is ridiculous. USC got beat last night, because it was painfully obvious that two things happened: 1) They believed the hype about themselves and 2) On any given Thursday that kind of shit can happen. This is also the #1 reason why talk about a playoff is idiotic and shortsighted. Yes, those last 3 games leading to the championship game would be great…but would last night’s game be anywhere NEARLY as exciting…knowing USC will most likely win the Pac-10 anyway and likely make their way into any possible future playoff bracket?

This stuff isn’t rocket science people. College football is subjective and should always remain so. But YOU as a college football fan need to remain objective enough to at least be able to cut through the bullshit that the national and local media is trying to feed you. Realize that people like Collin Cowherd, Lou Holtz, Tom Deinhart, and Tom Shatel are just as full of shit as you or me. They have no more insight or aren’t privy to any more information that you can’t find yourself on the internet.

As soon as you figure all of this out, you will find yourself less and less “shocked” that football games are actually played in stadiums and not on paper or on a message board.

** A lot of you have asked me my opinion on the Thunder Collins situation. As you can probably guess, I am not suprised that a Husker football player has found himself in trouble with the law before or after "graduation", let alone capital murder. But in this case, I simply can not bring myself to hop on this story like I normally would others.

For one, this isn't domestic assault or stealing credit cards...we're talking about killing somebody. Second, it's no secret that Thunder Collins didn't exactly come to Lincoln with the easiest of childhoods...considering he's seen as many family members gunned down in his 29 or so years than you have Clay Aiken tracks on your iPod. But regardless, it's pretty hard to pile on a horribly sad situation of a lost soul who ...if found guilty...has pretty much thrown away what productive life he has left. No matter who you root for your your opinion on social ills...that my friends is sad and does not deserve any further banter from me.

If you would like to talk about the coaching staff who recruited him with said baggage...that is a different story.

* One of my readers had a very interesting question for me earlier this week. You may not have caught it, but it went something like this (paraphrasing): “Do you think the departure of Chase Daniel will hurt Mizzou next year, and how much credit does he have over Gary Pinkel in turning the Missouri program around.”

Gary Pinkel deserves a lot of credit for sticking to his guns and adjusting his game toward the shifting winds of college football. When people were calling a 5 wide spread with Brad Smith in the gun crazy….Missouri OC Dave Christensen stuck with what he thought would work. 6 years later, the spread is all the rage, and Mizzou’s offensive squad has its inner workings down to a science.

With that being said, I do NOT give Gary Pinkel credit for one big thing, and that is something that you will relate to if you haven’t already: Losing is a sickness. It is WAY easier to slip into a pattern of losing than to pull yourself out by the bootstraps and succeed on a consistent basis. If anything , Pinkel made things WORSE by being crotchety with the media and those who questioned his approach.

Chase Daniel is the one person that brought that “Screw you” mentality to the program that was simply missing for decades. The kid knows the offense, which admit it or not..is way more complicated than it looks. He’s going to make a damn good coach someday and Missouri will very much miss his services next year.

But to answer the question, I do see a drop off for Missouri over the next few years while trying to break in a new QB and most likely replacing a damn good offensive coordinator. Gary Pinkel will be faced with his most difficult challenge as a head coach. Anybody can throw together a few great seasons behind a damn good QB with a gunslinger attitude. It’s tougher to keep that standard up, while bringing in replacements worthy of the hype.

Now whether or not they’ll be better than Nebraska next year? Probably, but I’ll bet you anything that your pompous and self-absorbed arrogance will still ooze from your keyboards, just as it has for decades. We shall see about Missouri.

* Speaking of the Hicks, big game with Va Tech on Saturday night. Like many, I’m pretty torn about what is going to go down. On one hand, this Virginia Tech team has struggled at times…especially on offense. Memorial Stadium will be whipped to a Soybean fueled frenzy, as you and 85,000 of your fellow Co-op members hoot and holler at top volume for the ABC regional cameras.

But then again, can you really look at the collection of stiffs you’re throwing out there these days? Can you really look at Va Tech’s defensive talent and say to yourself, “May, Roy Helu is going to have a field day on these guys!” Or, “Va Tech is really going to have one hell of a time containing Nate Swift.”

Just doesn’t fit does it?

Hate week inches closer on the horizon. Enjoy the games Saturday.

Hate Week Looms

2008-09-23T21:11:00.007-05:00

Did you pack your socks? How bout your toothbrush? Did you remember your phone charger? I ALWAYS forget my phone charger whenever I pack up for a trip…especially one where I have no idea how long I’ll be gone.

Yes, your journey into hate week begins this weekend, when a similar under-performing former superpower pays a visit to your humble home. I’m sure it’s not just me, but I am getting the feeling that that over-abundance of pride and hope has sprung a gigantic leak in the face of recent thoughts that begin with: “You know, if we play hard and keep it close, I think we can pull out 8 or 9 wins from this season.” Oh sure, some of you are out of your mind predicting 10 win seasons still...but for the most part, fear and apprehension are as much a part of your world now as combines and camouflaged trucker caps.

Truth be told, this is no different than what I told you in July…or what I told you in May or what I even told you right after your season ended so mercifully on the front-range of the Rocky Mountains last November; You simply are not that good, no matter how much harder your boys “try”. Oh sure, they had nice double-digit wins over a mid-level MAC team this season as well as a couple of wins over two WAC doormats…but now we enter that fun time of year, where reality peeks from behind that curtain and yells “SURPRISE” at the top of it’s lungs.
For the moment, I'm going to do the admirable thing and withhold a lot of the true hate and anger that you’ve grown to love within the walls of this blog...because as you know...like the eerie calm before the hurricane comes ashore, Hate Week is looming on the horizon, now only a few days away.

So with that, an abbreviated commentary and a couple of notes prior to the best week of the year :

- Yes, I’m going to be in Lincoln to witness Hate Week first hand and take the fight directly to all 85,000 of you. For those of you who don’t know, I swore off trips to Lincoln in the early 2000’s, when I grew tired of watching my team get punked in new and exciting ways by refs, thugs, criminals and yes..my own coach. At the time, I just figured it was best for all of us that I simply let you have your Saturday afternoons, and I keep my commentary confined to my own four walls. But with history turned upside down, you can make no mistake that I will NOT miss a chance to give my best pity wave to your thousands of fans as they head for the exits after a “hard fought” game that left them “just short.” I’ve waited a long time for this…and I expect to make every second count. More details during hate week.

- I’m not sure about you…but good for Baylor for finally pulling themselves out of the giant lake of crap they've wallowed in since the inception of the Big 12. I don’t think people realize just how good this Baylor team may be. But then again…Vandy is in the top 25, and Florida State struggled to score single digits at home against a mediocre conference opponent. Hell, even North Carolina somehow got decent over the past few years.

- What the hell happened to Rutgers? Didn’t they have a pretty good year a few seasons ago? Now granted, they lost their best player…but props to them for doing their very best Corby and Larry Smith (R.I.P) impressions. Yeesh.

- You want to bash me? I'd suggest setting aside Missouri and booger comments and going after me where it really hurts...the KC Chiefs. Sweet holy Jesus above has any NFL team in the last 40 years sucked giant donkey sack as much as the Chiefs have? Remember last year, when I mocked you all for Bill Callahan driving your program into the ground before hitting the eject button? Carl Pederson is my Bill Callahan, as the King has single-handily destroyed one of the best franchises in the NFL. The tailgating, the crowd, the noise...all gone thanks to Carl. Those of you who like to watch other teams on Sunday afternoon but can't because of the Chiefs...you can stop whining now.

- USC will not go undefeated. Mark it down…put it in blood. If you recall, I told you this last year.

- Why do you people hate Notre Dame so much? Granted, their fans are whiney douchebags just as much as the next group of fans…but as we’ve seen in these parts for decades…the world needs evil empires to keep sports fun. I’ll never be called a Notre Dame fan pretty much ever...but it’s like watching that mean old dog from down the street, hobble on three legs and wallow in it’s own misery day after day. After a while, you just wish somebody would put a slug in that program and either make them disband or at the very least, start all over again. It’s getting pathetic. And no, I don’t see them winning 8 games this year, I don’t care how easy you think their schedule is. (Ok, after finding this picture..it's a little funny.)

Power Poll Number 5:

North:
1) Missouri (4-0) Idle – Nice to know the Tigers can have an “off” week against mighty Buffalo and still run up 600 yards and double the opposing team’s score. Mizzou won’t be making any BCS reservations dropping so many balls in enemy territory, but if that’s your biggest problem…one bad half against Buffalo where you still roll…things are going well.

2) Colorado (3-0) at Florida State – Did I or did I not tell you that Colorado would be better than people thought? A win an pathetic Florida State this weekend and the Buffs are sitting pretty at 4-0 heading into a gigantic game with Texas. I’m not predicting anything crazy like a 5-0 Colorado start…but they did beat an even better south power about this time last year. As any Dan Hawkins team, this team could go south at any time for any duration…but the defense is looking good and the offense is learning how to win. Told ya…s…..

3) Kansas State (2-1) vs. La-Lafayette – Perhaps I saw a different game than everybody else against Louisville last week, but I didn’t think KSU was THAT awful. Oh sure, their defense looked flat, and Josh Freeman was pressing..but isn’t it very Wildcat-like to come out flat like that one week, and then turn around a week or two later and knock somebody upside the head? After a ho-hum appetizer against the Rajun Cajuns…Mike Leach and company come to town. Hmmmmmm.

4) Kansas (3-1) Idle – KU takes on one of their toughest non-conference opponents in years.

5) Nebraska (3-0) vs. Virginia Tech – I would not be shocked if Nebraska comes out of this pillow fight on top…nor would I be surprised if Va Tech knocked the Hicks right upside the head. My brain says Nebraska’s home crowd and Bo-mopia will pull NU through against a sluggish team that will be way out of their element. But my heart knows that this Husker team sucks, and VT is head and shoulders above any team Nebraska has played in quite some time…let alone beaten. We’ll see how I feel later this week.

6) Iowa State (2-2) Idle – Sucks for ISU that their comeback against UNLV fell short. Just as we suspected, the Clones are short on talent, but they’re learning how to fight. Perhaps this “trying harder” thing will become contagious and other teams around the conference will start doing it? Nahhhh. ISU may take somebody out along the way..but they simply don’t have the horses to finish in the pack of this race…even with a feeble old mare past his prime right in front of them.

South:
1) Oklahoma (3-0) vs. TCU – OU is smashing everything in sight…but there’s something about this team that tells me a letdown is coming. (As it usually does for one or two weeks a year for every Bob Stoops team.) Not sure when it will happen..but I feel like it’s coming…not sure why.

2) Texas (3-0) vs. Arkansas – Crushing crappy opponents left and right, Mack Brown’s team is slowly rising onto the national radar….just in time for OU to kick them in the junk and sending them to yet another boring 8-9 win season with more talent on their roster than most NFL teams. (In the case of the Chiefs..I mean this quite literally).

3) Oklahoma State (3-0) vs. Troy – I thought this game was taking place about 4 weeks ago…but Troy finally comes back to Stillwater to pay for their victory in Alabama last year. OSU is steadily putting the wood to teams…although that 26 point win over a horrible Washington State team on the road is looking less and less impressive. Still looks like an act of God will be the only thing keeping the Pokes from a 5-0 record heading to Columbia on October 11th.

4) Texas Tech (4-0) Idle – I’m guessing Mike Leach will spend the off-week looking through the 1-AA directories, looking for more dates to fill in upcoming schedules. Regardless, the Red Raider schedule…barring a letdown in Manhattan appears to be an absolute joke all the way to a road clash in Lawrence on 10/25. Should be interesting to see where Tech stands in early November when they play Texas, OSU and OU in back to back to back weeks. Good luck with that.

5) Baylor (2-2) Idle – Damn they looked pretty good the other night against a better-than-you-think Uconn team. Nebraska has to go to Waco next season…breaking in a brand new QB in the process. Let this be your first record of me calling the upset nearly 13 months in advance. Then again...will it REALLY be that big of an upset by that time?

6) Texas A&M (1-2) vs. Army – How on earth can you play in that stadium…with that fan support, surrounded by that much high school talent and still suck as bad as the Aggies do? Easy…you have to be led by one really crappy coach. I got to meet A&M fans in Columbia a few years ago, and they are a smart and proud bunch. I realize three games is a little early to press the panic button…but just looking at this train-wreck would make me want to strike the match and get the pot of oil boiling with one hand on the big bag of chicken feathers.

Quick Saturday Notes

2008-09-20T10:36:00.002-05:00

Couple of notes on a gorgeous football Saturday. (Seriously..why are you reading this? Get the hell outside and come back later.)

- Not sure why everybody is predicting death blows for K-State. Louisville isn’t the pseudo-power they once were, but that’s still a pretty difficult place for them to win. I’m not sure what their fans think, but I certainly wasn’t expecting TOO many miracles. Granted I thought there was a chance their JUCO players could develop, and who knows..they might. But Josh Freeman is pressing way way too hard at this point. (And yeah, you can tell he isn’t getting much help. The loss of Jordy Nelson may be bigger than people think.)

- Great win by Colorado the other night. That defense is kinda nasty, and no matter what West Virginia has shown this season tripping over their own feet at East Carolina, they do have some serious speed. The key to me for Colorado is to get Hawkins more comfortable in the pocket. Not sure why, but it seems it takes him a while to get wound up and fire. West Virginia has a decent defense (I guess)..but they’ll never be compared to the 75 Steelers. I expect more of the same out of CU, with a few wins over teams they are underdogs to, and perhaps a loss where it isn’t expected when somebody jumps out to a big early lead. Regardless, that’s the second best team in the North if you ask me.

- Holy hell was I pulling for Baylor last night. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that the young Bears have some serious speed and quickness on board. There were actually times last night where I wasn’t even sure I was watching Baylor. Granted, they are extremely young and inexperienced, but UConn is a quality team and winning on the road at night is never easy. It’s too bad they play in a wicked division, or I’d be excited for what the future brings for them. And yeah…I wouldn’t be shocked if they pulled an upset or two later in the season.

- Ryder Cup: Don’t care. Never have cared. Never will care. 14 millionaires battling for a trophy that isn’t that big in an event that really doesn’t mean that much anymore. ESPN can stop bombarding me with it as soon as possible please.

- Most interesting game of the day: Va Tech at North Carolina. Let’s see how Taylor handles a sea of Carolina blue prior to his trip to the heartland and 85,000 “BoKnowsDefense” shirts. I’m not expecting much out of the Hokies, but it will be rather telling to see how they play now that they’re settling down with their lineup a bit.

- I’m sorry, but I’m not convinced Georgia and Arizona State are two of the better teams in the country tonight. Granted, I give the Dawgs credit for traveling more than 200 miles for a road game for the first time since the Kennedy administration, but as I said last week…I was extremely unimpressed with their performance in Columbia, SC last week. For ASU, I guess we’ll see if the guy who kicked J.C. Keller out of town was worth all the fuss.

- Cox Communications is adding Fox Sports Net HD 1/3 through the college football season and at the very end of baseball season. Thanks a lot for your excellent timing. Can’t wait for my bill to go up 10 bucks a month when the HD additions are all added on.

- Omaha Royals are leaving? Don’t care anymore. The whole thing is tired to me. Other than the NCAA, pretty much everybody loses. The Royals lose their home of 30 years. The city loses 150 million dollars to build a mediocre stadium that will sit empty 50 weeks a year. South Omaha loses. Pretty much everybody loses. Nice going everyone…good thing you wore a kilt on your date with Dennis Pope and the rest of the evil pricks that make up the NCAA.

Enjoy watching the games or the Apple Festival or whatever it is you people do when the Huskers aren’t playing.

What Our Little World Has Become

2008-09-16T14:08:00.005-05:00

Have you ever stopped in mid-thought and made one of those random realizations? Have you ever stopped pitchin hay or slopping hogs and really taken a moment to let all the little facets of the universe soak through your white mesh Moor-Mans hat as you stand next to your Waterloo Boy Model ‘N’ manure loader? (the first one of you freaks who gets the urge to write me and call me an idiot because the model ‘N’ was discontinued years ago gets my wrath)

Ten years ago, the Huskers were rolling to yet another 12-1 season. Led by a future Heisman trophy running back…only a Tom Brady-esque performance by Major Applewhite kept the Hick nation from kicking back and throwing a 6th trophy on the side of that stupid ass truck that follows your team everywhere. When that is you happen to HAVE to play a road game per Big 12 rules. )

At that time, Frank Solich (Boooo! ) led his team to huge wins over Texas A&M, 6th ranked Tennessee and 5th ranked Kansas State. (They did squeak by Colorado and KU...and had to rally to beat a bad Southern Miss team at home…but who cares about details?). Names like Buckhalter, Alexander and Davison and Craver destroyed a young lad with a decent future named Peyton Manning. All was right in your world and the future truly was so bright you had to wear shades.

Anyhow, if you happened to be crushed by farm equipment that year and somehow found yourself waking up from a 10 season coma this week….here is what you would find:

- The Huskers are coming of a 4 of 5 year stretch that would rank those seasons as some of the worst in school history.
- The Huskers are coming off of a season where they were one of 12 teams in 1A that didn't go to a bowl.
- The vaunted option power game was scrapped…reviled and then longed for yet again.
- Inconsistencies are abound with a string of stunningly easy drives of pure poetry, followed by a game where you needed late-game heroics to beat San Jose State…at home.
- A young hothead defensive coordinator with zero personality is set to take the Big Red once again into the unknown.

We need not again go through all that is wrong with your team right now. Needless to say, we could fill volumes talking about your lack of playmakers, your undersized defensive players or your lack of any sort of pass rush. But what has changed the most during those 10 years is OUTSIDE your own walls. What has changed you ask? Don’t know what I'm talking about?

* After three weeks, the nation’s leading candidate for the Heisman trophy plays for Missouri. (think about that for a moment.) At the same time, the Tigers are commonly referred to as one of THE teams to beat early in this season...along with Oklahoma and USC this season. (read that again and think about it real good)
* Kansas won 12 games last season (somehow) and won a BCS game (So they say)
* 3 of the top 5 offenses in the country reside in the Big 12. One of which is Oklahoma who throws the ball around the field with a guy who almost never throws an incompletion.
* Another consensus Heisman trophy candidate also plays for Missouri.
* East Carolina is in the AP top 15
* The University of South Florida is one of the favorites in a BCS conference that was barely even a conference in 1999.
* Big bad Michigan is 1-2 and may be on their way to one of the worst seasons a “traditional” power has had since…well…you.

But why bring up the past you ask? Why compare and contrast a season from a decade ago?

Fast forward to yesterday as I was driving home. As you know, I’m a HUGE fan of the afternoon call-in shows here in Omaha, because they reveal the true soul of the “greatest fans in college football”®. Whether you’re presenting a giant paper to the American Psychiatric Association or writing a blog regarding the ridiculousness of the messengers…these shows are always good for a laugh; if anything for the pure hypocrisy of it all.

To make a long story short, here is a sample of some of the calls:

“I can’t believe Gary Pinkel is such a jerk that he had to run up a score on helpless Nevada.” (Ironic also, because the same guy was probably calling prior to Nebraska's game with the Wolfpack last year telling the hosts what a great challenge they present)

“Typical Missouri…running a fake field goal to boost their poll ratings.”

“Boy, you can sure tell Missouri has never been good, since they don’t know how to win with class”.

On and on and on and on and on and on and on it went for the better part of an hour. Now, I’m not going to completely focus on this aspect of running up the score, nor am I going to pound my chest how cool I am rooting for a team that has sucked for so long, that is suddenly really really good. So with that being said, I will speak for myself and probably many other Missouri fans who feel the say way. I’ve expressed this opinion before, but apparently some people didn’t get the message:

Blow me.

I don’t care about winning with “class” or winning “the right way” or giving the opposing team some transparent and lame pity clap as they slug off the field. “Good game #23!” “You guys are gonna be all right #81”

You guys sucked #23. You run routes for shit #81. Unlike many of you reading this fine internet publication, I am not drawn to sports to make friends. I’m not sitting in the stands, enjoying the pure entertainment value of competition…wearing the uniform of the school that I actually like. I’ve chosen my side..through choice or by birth..and for better or worse…if you are playing against my team…I’m not going to be nice to you. No, I’m not going to throw batteries or trip some cheerleader as she skips by prior to the game. But I’m sure not going to make your stay extra pleasant to sooth my self-bloated super-ego of fandom.

The fact that on this day…a mere 10 years after another Husker team was rolling to yet another trophy…that we are listening to Husker radio listeners complain that the University of Missouri is running up the score on people is mind-boggling. How soon you forget the 63-6 days where your smug arrogance gave me the uninvited comfort that “you’re Tiger team will get better…hang in there.”

Go to hell.

This jihad of payback and redemption will not stop until the ghosts of pity claps past are long forgotten…no matter how much you want to deny they ever existed. Hate week is coming…and if you’re really good we can have a really swell picnic prior to the game and swap stories about our favorite moments involving our favorite teams. Wouldn’t that be swell?

Whiney crybaby hypocrite bitches.

Power Poll #4

NORTH:
1) Missouri (3-0) vs. Buffalo – Chase Daniel has more TD’s in 2 games than incompletions. That is completely ridiculous, even if you’re running 11 on zero drills in practice. The Tigers always played Turner Gill tough in his days as a Hick in the mid 80’s. I’m guessing his confidence level is a bit different this weekend then back in the old days. A week off precedes Hate Week.

2) Kansas State (2-0) at Louisville – OK, I jumped the gun and forgot KSU was idle last week. Same situation remains though. Huge game for the Cats who can become an instant player in the Big 12 with a win on the road on National TV. Time for Josh Freeman to take the next step.

3) Colorado (2-0) vs. West Virginia – OK, I jumped the gun on the Colorado game too. Still going to be a great test for the Buffs who always play superior teams tough at home in the non-conference. (Well, for the most part.) Should be interesting to see how WVU handles a completely unfamiliar environment.

4) Kansas (2-1) vs. Sam Houston State – The Munchkin General and the 10 dwarfs head back into Southland conference play with a huge matchup with the 32nd best team in the state of Texas.

5) Nebraska (3-0) vs. IDLE – Hooray! You’re out of the basement. Ok, ISU slipped back into the basement by scoring a whopping 5 whole points against a crappy Iowa team they should have beaten (at least I think so). But regardless, the Red Nation gets an off week to rest up…pat themselves on the back and smack women in the face in bars. I feel an incident coming….don’t you?

6) Iowa State (2-1) at UNLV – Damnit Clones, I was really counting on you guys to pick up the slack and kick Herbie Husker back into the sewer where he belongs. UNLV had a gigantic win on the road last week and should be prime for a letdown. I wouldn’t be shocked if ISU could make a statement and pull one out here. Either way…a decent season can be saved, or a long long season can start sliding right here.

SOUTH:
1) Oklahoma (3-0) vs. IDLE – Missouri scores 57 points a game, has scored 13 straight possessions…destroys everything in their path and they’re STILL not the best team in their own conference. Until Oklahoma shows that patented 1-game-per-year performance down the crapper…they are by far the team to beat.

2) Texas (2-0) vs. Rice – Should be interesting to see how UT handles the postponement of their game last week. Rice sucks and Colt McCoy should have a field day. Not sure why, but I still have a really strange feeling that this team is way better than people think.

3) Oklahoma State (3-0) vs. Troy – Remember when Troy embarrassed the Pokes on national TV last year; humiliating them in front of millions of fans and poll voters? I’m guessing OSU hasn’t either. Troy is remarkably pathetic on the road, and the Cowboys are really hitting their stride. An October 11th date with Missouri suddenly is looking very interesting. (And long too)

4) Texas Tech (3-0) vs. UMass – UMass? UMass? Mike Leach’s team would have trouble gaining respect if they were crushing these cupcakes…let alone struggle to put them away as they are now. The south is way way too tough to be thinking you’re that much better than they really are. Gotta question their mentality at this point.

5) Baylor (2-1) at. UConn - My stone cold upset lock of the weekend. Baylor has scored 96 points in the past two weeks. UConn struggled to beat mighty temple..but did look good clobbering a pathetic Virginia team. Should be a great game.

6) Texas A&M vs. Miami Fl – Ok, I missed the date on this game as well. Regardless, a huge chance for Mike Sherman’s team to make a statement on ABC regional TV this weekend. Or they could completely embarrass themselves by losing to a mediocre and young Miami team on their home turf.

Order ReSnored

2008-09-14T09:20:00.005-05:00

Hear that? No, not the strong wind this morning or the air let out of yet another titanic Ohio State disaster on a national stage…listen again real close? Hear it?

In case you don’t recognize it, that is the sound of Husker pride and arrogance slowly leaking back into the atmosphere. It’s something we really haven’t seen since the Nevada game last year, so it took me a few minutes to recognize it after last night’s epic win over perennial power New Mexico State. Nebraska's romp toward the WAC title took another huge step forward with an “old school” beat down of the Aggies on a perfect night in Lincoln. Actually an “old school” Nebraska win over New Mexico State would have been highlighted with 800 yards rushing and a 70-0 win…but I’m sure you’ll take what you can get now.

As many of you know, one thing I hate more than anything in the world is agreeing with Omaha World-Herald columnist and Husker homer Tom Shatel. Nowhere on earth are predictable columns met with wishy-washy flip-flopping. (“Frank Solich should stay!! Wait, I mean fire Frank! I mean….) But regardless of his past history of crappy takes for the sake of sheep-like readers, he did get one point correct this morning: The pre-season is over.

Despite your lowest talent level in years (don’t kid yourself), The Huskers have waltzed through a three-game September home stretch that would barely have challenged Omaha Westside High School. Granted, struggling with San Jose State is particularly noteworthy (and ironically forgotten this morning)…yet somehow that old feeling is back, despite the avalanche of reality forthcoming that says almost every single team you play from here on out has a decent chance of beating you.

But alas, we are pretty much exactly where I said we would be.

I predicted Western Michigan would have put up a bit more of a fight on opening day…and you ended up winning by 23. (I said 8…Oh and by the way, the Broncs barely beat Northern Illinois at home last week and struggled to put away mighty Idaho yesterday). Then came San Jose State, and the late game surge that gave you another 23 point win. Before the season I said you would win by 20. (Hmmmmmm…) And lastly, we have last night’s epic win over a team that gave up 30 ore more points NINE times last year. I said you'd win by 30...you won by 31. (Hmmmmm....) As one e-mail from a Husker buddy of mine who was at the game said, “New Mexico State looks like they’re starting 4 women’s gymnasts on the defensive line, this is the smallest team I’ve ever seen.” Yes, the WAC is known for their monster linemen and physical style.

So with a bye week upcoming and yet another 7 days to digest just how close you are to restoring the order, we will soon turn our attention to Virginia Tech. Now granted, the Hokies have more athletes on their practice squad than the three JV teams you just got done beating the past three weeks…but still, this is a team that is averaging a whopping 85 yards through the air. We do have time to break it down however, since Tyrod Taylor has a matchup in Chapel Hill next weekend to work out some kinks before his trip to the Corn Palace. But if you watched that game vs. Georgia Tech yesterday, you’ll notice the young freshman is extremely quick but has trouble throwing the ball more than 5 yards downfield. (Good thing you don't have a pass rush anyway huh?)

In the meantime, those of us stuck behind enemy lines will be inundated with over-analysis, debatable logic and plain old fashion Husker shortsightedness as we waddle through the bye week. I do have a question though. According to my predictions…and they haven’t changed…where are those extra three wins going to come from in order to grab that golden ticket to Shreveport? Ames? Waco and....? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

In the meantime a couple of notes from a great day of channel surfing yesterday.

- Ohio State, go away. Take your slow, unimaginative offense, ignorant fans, your shitty…overrated as hell 5* defenders and go back to your rightful place on the Big 10 network at 11am on a given Saturday against Purdue. Beanie Wells or not, that team…like most Big 10 teams is a product of hype and daydreaming back to a bygone era where conference powers like Michigan didn’t get bitchslapped by crappy teams like Notre Dame. (Did they even play yesterday? I barely even remember seeing highlights.) What was my point? Oh yeah…I don’t care if they’re sitting at 11-1 and have beaten every crappy Big 10 team by 60 come the end of November…keep them away from the BCS title game. If they snake their way in there, the people should revolt. I'm not kidding.

- I respect Oklahoma and their fans. Hell, I even respect Bob Stoops for being a brilliant coach..especially considering the massive beatdown he gave Washington yesterday. That team is ridiculously scary and has speed and size at every single position. But is it really necessary to emulate the 86 Miami Hurricanes? I mean Jesus, I almost expected Luther Campbell to be standing on the OU sideline as the camera panned. Starting fights with hapless Husky players in the tunnel? Cheap shotting linemen in the back after a play is called dead? And yes, I haven’t forgotten the class act of swinging by the Missouri locker room in San Antonio last year, taunting the team through the door. You’re supposed to be a National Power…feel free to act like it. (And not circa '95 Nebraska either in case domestic assault is on the plate for later this season)

- Kansas….oh Kansas. First off, Sod Reesing has serious skills at eluding the rush; I will readily admit that. That is extremely important when your offensive line can’t stop anybody from getting past you simply by blinking. They’ve got a couple of nice receivers and even a few decent linebackers. But if you’re going to survive Texas, OU and Tech by simply having Reesing run for his life for 60 minutes, you’re probably going to find yourselves in a bit of trouble. KU has convinced themselves of their greatness, which while annoying….is probably a good thing for them. This will allow them to get by the lower-tier teams of Nebraska and ISU with no problem. The hobbit can’t win games by himself though…and you better find yourselves a running back (and not slow pasty ones or a guy who likes the younger ladies...allegedly)

- Good win by Mizzou yesterday, albeit over a fairly crappy WAC team. (Better than some of the WAC teams that played Big 12 teams the past couple of weeks..ahem…but I digress). Anyway, Chase Daniel is ridiculous as is the rest of the offense. The key for the Tigers on offense is going to be Derrick Washington. Why? Because somebody down the road is going to get cute (as Arkansas did in the Cotton Bowl) and play with 9 DB’s or something like that. At that time, Daniel, Maclin and company are going to have to diversify just a bit to keep things level. And yes, I realize how ridiculous this is to nitpick a team that hasn’t been good for 30 years.

On defense there really isn’t anything new to dissect, other than the prevent coverage has got to get better when the other team is heaving a Hail Mary with :00 left in regulation. William Moore should take a week off to rest his ailing foot, and it was nice to see Van Alexander back in the lineup a bit yesterday as well.

Hate week is on the horizon. At over 57 points per game so far…the visions of gassed Husker linebackers chasing Missouri receivers like a group of 4 year olds at an Easter egg hunt is too great to ignore. However, Turner Gill’s bitchslapping and a battle of has-beens in Lincoln stands in our way. We'll get there eventually. Buckle up.

(Photo Credit Lincoln Journal Star and Washington Post)

An American Tale

2008-09-11T15:58:00.003-05:00

Sometimes, I get a strange feeling in the back of my brain…especially when I see/hear/read something that just gets to me. (And hey..it's still my blog right?) That happened to me today, and no…it’s not about sports. If you’re only hear to read about college football…don’t worry…I’ll get right back to that soon enough. Come on back Saturday to get more of what you normally come here for.

Today is of course September 11th and that date along unleashes a torrent of emotions within many of us. As you may or may not know, I’m fascinated by global politics and the way our society impacts and defines the rest of the world. As an independent thinker, I’m always fascinated to hear discussion about items that shape our generation. I guess you could call it a hobby when I’m not watching the Huskers struggle to beat a sub .500 WAC team on any given Saturday in September.

Anyhow, on the morning of September 11th, 2001 I was working out of town in Los Angeles for my company. At 6:50 or so in the morning, I got a page from my wife back home…which I thought was odd since she didn’t know my pager number at the time. (It was somewhat new). A few seconds later, I turned on the TV as I watched the plane slam into the second tower. I watched…as you did I'm sure...for a good hour and a half before I had to travel into the office.

Mind you my hotel was in Long Beach, so I needed to take the 405 to the 710 to get to my destination in the south-central burg of South Gate. (Yes, I was working in South Gate, just north of Compton...and no..not Will Compton) Anyhow, what was spooky was that outside my hotel…on the Interstate 405, one of the busiest in all mankind…ALL traffic toward downtown had simply disappeared; 8 lanes of highway sat wide open, as the southbound lanes into Orange County were bumper-to-bumper in a steel and rubber encased parking lot.

If you’re familiar with Los Angeles, you’ll know that South Gate sits just off the cusp of downtown Los Angeles’s south side. If you anywhere near there on 9/11, you'll also note that downtown Los Angeles was essentially closed that day, within a 3 mile radius. Traveling up the 710 that morning to the edge of the "downtown zone", I was all alone going northbound, glued to the radio reports that echoed over the airwaves that we had been attacked, and attacked with vengeance.

Once at the office in South Gate, nothing moved. Employees cried…customers stood in silence as they stared at CNN. Over the lunch hour I was shaken out of my chair by the rumbles of troop carriers…mobilizing National Guard units into downtown Los Angeles …which at the time of course..we had no idea if it was a target as well.

On the way home from a long day of staring at the TV and checking in with bosses and clients across the country, I made my way back toward Long Beach and my hotel. With traffic diverted and at a standstill again, I saw something out my rental windshield that would change me forever.

In this uncertain time…on this uncertain day...in a time of horror and fear, I slowly passed under an overpass where a homeless man stood. Up against the fence, with his grungy and tattered clothes stuck to his 60-something year old body…the man waved a homemade American Flag wildly from the end of a long tree branch at the passing traffic below. Next to him...directly propped up with the aluminum cans he intended to sell sat a sign….”Once a Vietnam Vet, always a American”. I’m usually not an emotional person, nor am I susceptible to overlooking image and relevance. But that vision..at that moment in time..will never ever leave my memory.

Here was this man…who’s country had abandoned him. I did not know his story, nor did I know his name. But it was abundantly clear that this moment in time had effected this man in such a way…that he decided it was prudent to honor the country that had treated him so harshly. A man who appeared to have nothing to his name…no hope…no possessions…felt it important enough to tell citizens of the most glitzy, glamorous and wealthy cities in the world…that he shared in their citizenship and pride. At some point before or after I passed beneath him, a photo of this man was taken and published in the September 12th 2001 edition of USA Today.

Today, on the anniversary of 9/11, I did what I normally do over my lunch…which is read the daily news from newspapers outside the United States on world events. I do this because I choose not to get a bulk of my news from agenda-driven organizations on both the left and the right…where attracting readers and web hits is more important than actually reporting the news. (As a former journalism student…NOTHING pisses me off more than editorial journalism drifting in the mainstream. Worse yet is the public’s inability to tell the difference between it and actual news…if you can find it.)

One of the articles that I found was a report from Al-Jazzera.net of all places…depicting the evil United States and how we should strive for revolution to escape thier current state of affairs. I read through this article, and I was outraged. I was outraged not at the editorial/news article itself…(Hell, it's Al-Zazzera for God's sake) ....but by at what followed in the comments section. Directly below the article, reader after reader…from every corner of the earth bashed the United States and their citizens for everything from being greedy to uncaring about the environment…to meddling in world affairs etc. The list of gripes went on and on and on and on.

Now I’m going to level with you…I consider myself a somewhat social liberal and a relatively open person. I’ve been to most of the countries in Europe. I’ve been to South America. I’ve answered questions from 16 different Frenchmen one week before the 2003 invasion of Iraq. In other words…I think I understand how the world works, and how others think.

But no matter how hard I try…no matter what I do…neither you nor I can really make the rest of the world understand what it’s like to be an American.

To me, being an American is not about wrapping myself up in the American flag, holding onto a shotgun all while singling along to that douche bag Toby Keith as he croons on terribly about a feeling his producer told him to feel so he could sell records. Being an American to me is not about grabbing a gas mask and hurling stones through the windows of police cars at the Republican National Convention as a shout for anarchy against my oppressive government. These two far extremes have completely and totally warped our perception overseas and at home. Democrats beg us to improve our image…Republicans demand that we show our strength to these people and scare them into our way of life.

The truth however..is indifference.

This is the greatest country in the world…not because we’re stronger than anybody else, or that we should hold ourselves to a higher standard. This country is strong because we can live our lives without ever having the thought cross our mind that 220 some odd countries exist around us. Whether this is wrong or right..I really do not care. That is the whole point.

Many of those comments I read declared that the American Imperial dominance will end as all dynasties end….some of which even predicted in the next few years. But what these people do not understand is that Americans will ALWAYS rally behind each other…they just need a reason to do so.

So during this election season…blokes from England to Kenya to Australia will chide us for our childish bickering. Talking heads from around the globe will mock us for our choices and decry us as a failed state where the great capitalist experiment went horribly wrong. But make no mistake my friends…all of the bickering…all of the sniping…the luxuries we have and all of the nightmares we force some of our countrymen to live in are a sign that we are in fact strong and we are in fact the envy of everyone around the world.

Nowhere else on earth are the ideas and freedoms of all men and women protected. Nowhere else on earth is each individual responsible for their own path in life. No single person..despite the head start or highest hurdle…will ever be denied the ability to stand with others, and defend their right simply to exist.

That homeless veteran I passed under on 9/11 is a perfect example of the spirit and fight that lives in this country. Sometimes it’s buried. Sometimes it’s completely invisible. But make no mistake…no matter what others throw at us…we will always come out on top…simply because we have the ability to worry about only ourselves. If others around the world don't understand that...well: I really don't care.

Republican or Democrat, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

On This Day - One Nation...One Team

2008-09-11T07:52:00.002-05:00

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2008-09-08T22:18:00.006-05:00

Man I feel good.

I’m not sure what it is…maybe it’s the cooler weather? Or maybe it’s football on TV 5 times a week? Or maybe it’s the fact that your team is JUST now figuring out that just maybe that cupboard isn’t quite as full as you thought it was going to be? Did I mention my team is really good? (Oh sure they crushed a glorified high school team…but come on. Does anybody else have that many weapons and such clear path?)

Regardless, a few random thoughts as we kick start the new week…gearing up for the over-hyped faux battle Royal that is Ohio State vs. USC. (Think you'll hear any hype about that one this week?)

- Speaking of Ohio State…I realize I’ve touched on this before…but does ANYBODY outside of their own fan base think Ohio State is even a legit top 10 team? I understand they have good athletes and I understand they play in a gigantic stadium filled with red-clad idiots. (Hmmmm…) I don’t know about you…but listening to Rivals Radio in the morning today, I am already sick and tired of hearing these people pound their chest while skirting by some of the shittiest competition around. (BuckeyeH8er anyone?) Regardless of what I think, USC is going to smash this team by 20+ points, and I’m sure it won’t be just myself who is starting the petition to never again let this crappy overrated collection of stiffs near the BCS title game. (At least not without having to play a conference championship game in a conference that doesn’t suck.)

- Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady: SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT TOM BRADY. Dude plays a position that leads to injuries to just about everybody at some point or another during a single season, and ESPN is about to declare a National day of mourning. I realize he plays QB for the most bandwagon football franchise on the planet, but dude got hurt…not shot. And no, it wasn’t a cheap shot…despite what 590am’s Matt Perrault or any other whiny ass Boston jackass fan tries to spin today. These pricks haven’t played the downtrodden card of late, so they quickly slip back into character without so much as batting an eye. Are we supposed to feel SORRY for these clowns? You lost all sympathy from me the second the Red Sox payroll hit 900 billion dollars.

Sucks for Tom Brady…I’m sure one of his 15 supermodel girlfriends will make him forget all about those millions of dollars and multiple Super Bowl rings. He’s over it…you should too. Idiots.

- Didn’t I tell you people K-State and Texas would fly under the radar this season? Granted, it’s only 2 games in and the season is young…but both teams are playing well and picking up steam. KSU has been getting outstanding play from Freeman (Never underestimate a solid upperclassman QB not named Ganz) and Texas THRIVES on being left out of the division title conversation. And yes, I also told you Texas Tech wouldn’t live up to NEARLY the hype they’ve been given. (But then again…everybody already knew that.)

- Speaking of told you so’s….didn’t I tell you people the Democrats were walking into a trap when John McCain selected Sarah Palin as his running mate? I’m pretty sure I told you so…too bad they didn’t listen because that crazy old bastard may have just passed Obama for good this week.

- Every year…some mid-level team pulls off a couple of upsets early and unexpectedly vaults into the polls. And right on cue…every year that same old team hit’s the pavement when the slightest bit of expectation is placed upon them. (South Florida was the darling of the top 25 this time last year). Enter East Carolina circa 2008. By no means does this mean they suck…but if you’re a Vegas kinda guy…you might want to get ready and bet the farm (many of you quite literally) that a letdown is in store. It could be in New Orleans (Tulane) this week…or perhaps even Houston at home on 9/27. Rest assured however, this is a good team getting props way way too fast.

- Is it just me, or is there a gigantic influx of really REALLY bad teams this year? Notre Dame sucks just slightly less than San Diego State. Michigan is absolutely awful. (As is almost every team in the Big 10) Suddenly USC is back to being the only great team in the Pac 10, and somewhere along the way….LSU forgot to find a QB and is riding a top 10 ranking on name alone. And weren't Boston College and Oregon top flight teams not all that long ago?

- Finally..I’ve said it once and I’ve said it again: Count me in as one of the few non-media types who want NOTHING to do with a playoff in college football. (Don’t get me wrong, it will never happen anyway..but still.) Granted, the powers that be would never get it right anyway…but even if they did, you wouldn’t see the do-or-die nature of some of the early season games. Oh sure, a loss this time of year won’t kill you…but don’t tell that to BYU, who used one of the worst calls in the history of college football to keep their BCS hopes alive. (And don’t kid yourself…even an early September loss to crappy Washington would have cost them a shot in the long run.) I hate it when ESPN pundits are right..but in this case….you’re sacrificing a lot of pivotal games early…for 3-7 great games later on. (if that). I’m sorry..it just doesn’t make sense.

Power Poll #3

North:
1) Missouri (2-0) vs. Nevada – Mizzou put the wood to Cape Girardeau High School on Saturday without breaking a sweat..as much was said about Gary Pinkel pulling the redshirt off of former Husker heartthrob Blaine Gabbert. Count me in as one who thinks it’s a great idea. A seasoned Gabbert could be the difference between 8-9 wins next year or 4-5 wins. A very good idea if you ask me.

2) Kansas State (2-0) at Louisville – Another ‘I told you so’ for our new #2 in the power poll, as pretty much everybody but me seems shocked by the Cat’s offensive explosion over the first 2 games. Oh sure, they haven’t really played anybody, and Louisville offers a stern test on Wednesday night…but look no further than 2007 KU who used constant ass-blasting of sub-par teams to parlay themselves into a BCS run defying ridiculous odds that will never be touched again.

3) Colorado (2-0) vs. West Virginia – The Mountaineers fell from 8th to 25th and now this game doesn’t look quite so daunting. I’m not sure CU has enough gas in the tank to take out WVU’s athletes…but they did it to Oklahoma last year in Boulder..a team twice as good as the Rich Rodriguezless defending Fiesta Bowl Champs. Best game of the weekend the way I see it.

4) Kansas (2-0) at South Florida – Look for the two-year running Cinderella Jayhawks to get gang raped in a dirty back ally behind a Wendy’s in downtown Tampa on Friday.

5) Iowa State (2-0) at Iowa – Far worse Iowa State teams have beaten far better Hawkeye teams in recent years. These two fan bases hate each other, which as you know earns tons of respect in my book. A big win here and a 3-0 start could pull ISU out of the preverbal North gutter and head into conference play with all sorts of confidence.

6) Nebraska (2-0) vs. New Mexico State – If you’re struggling with San Jose State…at home…with less than 15 minutes to go…you’re not very good. Funny thing this past week, it was the vaulted high-flying NU offense that decided to belly flop. Panic has once again started to descend upon Lincoln with his good friend apathy not too far behind.

South:
1) Oklahoma (2-0) at Washington – Watching the Cincinnati game last weekend…OU has some ridiculous athletes and speed. But with that being said..it’s usually right about here (and January 1st) where Bob Stoops’ team likes to take a breather now and then. Wash U isn’t too bad, but if the Sooners have their heads out of their ass early…it shouldn’t’ be close.

2) Texas (2-0) vs. Arkansas – Texas has put together back to back ass-whippings against two not-quite-as-bad-as-San Jose opponents. Colt McCoy is starting to look like Roger Staubach once again and Arkansas is butt-ass awful. (A 4 point win over Western Illinois and a 1 point squeaker against Louisiana Monroe?) Looks like a great big burned orange enema coming your way Bobby. Get ready for it.

3) Oklahoma State (2-0) vs. Missouri State – The Pokes remind me of Missouri of a few years ago. (Granted, Mizzou probably wouldn’t have beaten Washington State or anybody else on the road for that matter) However, they have weapons galore and look to be a big fat 5-0 heading into Columbia on October 11th. The school formerly known as Southwest Missouri State was smoked by Washburn last weekend. If a borderline NAIA school from Topeka beats you…you have some issues playing a team as good as OSU. Any questions?

4) Texas Tech (2-0) vs. SMU – Granted, Tech hasn’t really done anything to warrant dropping in the polls (they haven’t really still sitting at #12)…but there’s something about this team that just doesn’t look right. Perhaps it’s crappy coaching? Perhaps it’s a mediocre defense? Regardless, look for more of the same as the Raiders get ready for Manhattan on October 4th by playing SMU and the 8th most popular college team in Massachusetts in the Minutemen.

5) Baylor (1-1) vs. Washington State – That’s right…I’m moving Baylor out of the basement. Even against crappy 1-AA Northwestern State, a 51-6 win is impressive if you’re the Bears. Washington State proved they pretty much suck and damnit…BU is due. (watch them lose by 50)

6) Texas A&M (1-1) vs. Miami Fla - I actually thought the Canes played pretty good against Florida the other night. A&M is still coming off that program-changing 6 point win over New Mexico last weekend. After facing Tim Tebow and company last week, the Hurricanes shouldn’t have a whole lot of problem against Mike Sherman’s convoluted mess of an offense. (Surely they’re better than Arkansas State right?)

Instant Analysis - San Jose State

2008-09-06T14:58:00.005-05:00

What a great win. I’m not sure what I was thinking in picking you guys to win 4 games, but you guys were right....What was I thinking? How you scored today in such new and exciting ways, you must all be so proud of the “effort”…since that is obviously what pushed you through to victory.

- Listening to your crowd cheer as the final whistle sounded is funny beyond words. Your translucent effort today against a team that BARELY beat UC-Davis (Davis is not French for “Los Angeles) is yet another reason why you people are completely and totally out of your minds. This is not to mention the fluke pick when SJSU was driving inside the 10 as well as the 4th and 4 “oh how convenient” pass interference penalty that gave you your final touchdown.

- San Jose State people. At home. Remember when I said you'd be going into the third week of the season 2-0 and feeling great about yourself? Ummmmm yeah...I may have overestimated you a little bit.

- 244 yards of offense? Remember when I told you that you would essentially be starting over, because the GRF© called all your plays last year? Remember when you told me I was full of crap and that Joe Ganz is one of the best offensive weapons in the conference? Remember the three magic beans you tried to sell me regarding Marlon Lucky being a Heisman candidate? (7 rushes for 23 yards?)

- Don’t get me wrong…win is a win is a win and I’m sure you’re headed down right now to 72nd and Dodge to celebrate a win over one the more mediocre teams in the MAC…but if you give up 351 yards to this team…what is Texas Tech going to do to you?

- I know many of you…(none that read this blog however) do not have THAT high of expectations for your team…but after watching this game today, I think it’s safe to say that my 4 -8 prediction is looking a bit more solid than your 8, 9 or 10 win prediction. The cupboards are bare my friends…and if you haven’t figured that out by now…hold on.

By the way...this is the size of the field that UC-Davis plays on. I'm going to post a picture of this so that you can realize what you have pretty much become. No need to take photos, you're going to be here for quite some time. Full analysis and breakdowns of your further fall into the abyss tomorrow.

The Worst Day of the Week

2008-09-03T11:31:00.006-05:00

I forgot how much Wednesdays suck during the football season. I’m not sure why, but Tuesdays and Wednesdays just seem to drag when you’re waiting for this weekend’s games. But then again, when everybody is playing NAIA schools, there just doesn’t seem to be as much to look forward to. Oh well, beats talking about the spring game.

A few odds and ends on a slow Wednesday.

** Have I mentioned how much I’m looking forward to watching the first Bo Pelini press conference after a Husker loss. I’m not sure if it’s going to be yelling, slammed fists or just stomping off, but you and I both know it’s going to be animated and borderline scary.

Which brings me to another thought…how are the Howdy Doody people of Nebraska going to TRULY like it when their coach throws a tantrum like a 5 year old girl? (Again) Granted, I already know the answer to that question ("we love his fire and passion!")…but still. This all goes back to my point that all of this is in question because YOU people have spent the better part of 30+ years telling us how pure and great you are.

The Great Raider Flunky© episode is being treated here locally as if you all as a whole were an elderly couple in Sioux City who was just ripped off by a driveway repair scheme. Hell, I expect WOWT-TV investigative reporter Mike McKnight to come running at you all with a microphone in hand and a fist full of receipts in the other.

But rest assured…none of you have figured this out yet, so why even dwell on it? It’s obviously going to take more than one failed regime to convince you just how pathetic your “Championship contending program” has fallen. (Who am I kidding…you’re on #3 right now).

** Nice to see 6 men and 6 women (most likely wearing red during deliberations) found Husker Andy Christensen not guilty of first degree sexual assault on Tuesday. It was also nice to know that the jury foreman…had to make sure he told ALL of us that Christensen’s standing as a Husker football player had “nothing to do whatsoever” with their decision.

The World Herald quotes the foreman as continuing, “Even though most of us thought something happened, we didn’t have any proof.”

PROOF!?!?

I’m going out on a limb and saying that big red ‘N’ on his helmet on Saturday’s is a pretty good indicator that dude most may have gotten into a situation he should have been. (I also like how the World Herald made sure they mentioned what a good “student” he was by mentioning his GPA. Would they mention that in any other case?) I mean…I understand the World Herald…especially NOW is not going to take the young woman’s side in this matter…but does the JURY have to be so adamant about how they thought something happened but there was no proof?

So does this mean that as long as I’m in a crowded bar, I can pretty much do whatever I want to whomever I want as long as I do it below everybody’s drink level? Jesus, were they asking for autographs after the trial? And if there was no “proof” who the hell else did it? He was standing right behind her. (All witnesses can attest to that). And if he wasn’t guilty and was this sweet student athlete the lawyers and paper are making him out to be…why did he decide to throw the bar owner to the floor and wrestle with 6 cops?

No action has been taken by Pelini, but it will be very interesting to see how he handles it. This wasn’t exactly a paper cup thrown at an exchange student we’re talking about here. Despite the legal clearing of his charges, dude was still drunk, dude was still violent and dude (to those outside this state only) gave you and your program a bad name.

And to this day, I still haven’t figured out how the guy posted 6 figures in bail money. I’m sure it was on the up and up though.

** On a less serious note…it’s been interesting to see Missouri fans in such a negative light over the past few days and weeks. Go to any Big 12 message board..hell, even some national ones..and you’ll see some post that resembles this:

“Who the hell do these people think they are? They have one or two seasons where they’re good and they think they’re the next dynasty.”

I would like to address those comments and others like them with a simple reply that I’m sure speaks for many of my fellow fans:

Eat me.

When you root for a team THAT bad for THAT long, you long long long long since realize that you don’t give a damn what anybody thinks about you. You didn’t have to put up getting beat by Texas A&M 77-0. YOU didn’t have to watch K-State play 5th stringers in a 1999 66-0 laugher. YOU didn’t have to sit in a monsoon in Bowling Green flippin Ohio, and watch some no-name quarterback launch 80 yard bombs on a goddamn oversized high school field as your team sloshed around helpless in the mud.

Putting up with year after year after year of underperforming and let’s face it…embarrassing football earns you a badge of honor that most of you are not fit to wear. If you are down on the ground long enough, you’ll realize just how tough it is to struggle to the top. It’s this underdog mentality that makes sports great, and I pity you for never being able to experience this yourself. (Although let’s be honest…in about 10-15 years, you’ll most likely be there as well. However with the new 12 game schedules, even the worst BCS conference teams can rack up a few token wins per year.)

Next time you see a post like that, please take notice that not only do most of us care what anybody else thinks…but we welcome the fact that somebody put us in that light in the first place. It’s certainly better than being completely ignored.

With that being said, do you guys even play this weekend? I can’t remember.

Power Poll #2

NORTH:
1) Missouri (1-0) vs. Southeast Missouri - SEMO had to struggle putting away a junior high team last weekend, as they prepare to face one of the most potent offenses in the land on Saturday. Pad the stats, play the backups and pray nobody gets hurt. Hate week is four weeks away.

2) Colorado (1-0) vs. Eastern Washington - The Buffs looked awfully good against CSU last weekend, but a trap has been set for Saturday. Eastern Washington hung with Texas Tech club with far more weapons than Dan Hawkins and company. The Buffs play borderline NFL teams in the next few weeks…gotta take care of business here.

3) Kansas State (1-0) vs. Montana State – I told you people K-State wouldn’t be the crappy and desperate pushover many of you felt they would be. Granted they’ve done nothing major yet, but Josh Freeman as an upper classman is a dangerous weapon that should be taken seriously.

4) Kansas (1-0) vs. La Tech – La Tech beat a spunky SEC team on the road last week. That being said they’re still La Tech, and KU still feels like some sort of National Power. It took the whole game to pull away from Florida International but let’s face it…KU is due for a more workmanlike performance this week.

5) Iowa State (1-0) vs. Kent State – I don’t care if it was SDSU, I thought the clones look sharp. Kent had their number last year, but all ISU needed was a little confidence. We shall see.

6) Nebraska (1-0) vs. San Jose Middle School JV - I’ve actually heard a couple Husker fans tell me they are a bit concerned about the transfers that San Jose will bring to Lincoln. With that being said, they’re still San Jose State, and they still play in a stadium smaller than the press box at Memorial Stadium. Even ME of all people would be shocked if the bench isn’t empty by the 3rd quarter. (And that’s saying something)

SOUTH:

1) Oklahoma (1-0) vs. Cincinnati - Cincinnati doesn’t completely suck. However, Oklahoma has way too many weapons and is fresh off their open scrimmage last weekend.

2) Texas (1-0) at UTEP – UT looked awfully good Saturday, as people suddenly remembered that Colt McCoy is still the Longhorn’s quarterback and oh yeah…he’s pretty good. Something tells me Texas feeds off this kind of stuff, which is dangerous for everybody else.

3) Oklahoma State (1-0) vs. Houston – I realize Wazzu isn’t that good and they’ll face way bigger challenges in the future, but I thought OSU looked awfully good with a lot of weapons. They may not be better than Tech, but they certainly earn points in my book for going on the road against a Pac 10 game and winning easily.

4) Texas Tech (1-0) at Nevada – How the hell did Tech not blow out Eastern Washington? On paper, this team is absolutely stacked…however it appears that Mike Leach might not be the master general that many make him out to be. I’m sorry…I’m not sold yet. A win over a mediocre Nevada team in Reno might help a bit.

5) Baylor (0-1) vs. Northwestern State – I think you’ll agree with me that Baylor sucks, but they actually aren’t boring to watch. They’ve got a long way to go…but I wouldn’t be shocked one bit if somebody struggled in Waco this season.

6) Texas A&M (0-1) at New Mexico – Is it just me or does Mike Sherman look like Slobodan Milosevic? I’m not a true expert, but I’m fairly certain that given a headset and a dictionary, even the former Serbian leader would have been good for at least a 10 point win over a crappy Arkansas State team…especially at home.

(Photo Credits: Huskers.com and Washington Post)

So What Did You Learn, Dorothy?

2008-08-31T12:16:00.003-05:00

First off, I’m sorry this is a bit late. I was so busy putting holes in my walls and smashing items in my den that I forgot to write a column. That sort of thing happens when you beat a top 20 team by double digits.

Anyway, more on that in a bit.

As for the Hicks this weekend…I warned you before hand; I didn’t see one play of the game. Hell, I didn’t even watch the gametracker of the game. (Was a bit busy at the time.) In this business, nothing is worse than commenting on a game I didn't see (or pay attention to while it was happing), but regardless, keep that in mind as we go through some things we learned about NU:

- Without Joe Ganz you are really really screwed. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still probably in the bottom half of QB’s in the league, but he is a senior and he does have the ability to put up nice numbers. Was he zipping around the ball that well early on? Or was the "emotion" (roll eyes) of it all just too much for WMU?

- Marlon Lucky eh? 3.8 yards per carry and less than 50 total? Against a MAC team that finished in the bottom half of the country in defense last year? Weak.

- Sounds like the Husker defense is right about where most rational people thought they’d be. Improved on effort (Seriously...even me of all people knew you wouldn't mail it in during game 1), yet still not quite able to put it all together. Hiller is a pretty good QB and threw for 3000 yards last season. But come on..this is Western Michigan at HOME. Back in the old days, this was a major concern. Today, it almost seems folks are happy it was only 30-49 for 341.

- FOUR sacks? FOUR!?!? That’s like more sacks than you’ve had combined since the Maine game in 2005 no? Wow, FOUR?!? AND two turnovers? Congrats.

- Looks like Alex Henry is working out well for you guys. Having a key guy who can kick field goals when your inconsistent offense sputters out inside the 30 is key.

- Would be nice to see what would have happened if Western wouldn’t have blown their best opportunity of the game early. Wide open receiver, and the ball sips out of Hiller’s hands? I’ve told you this once, and I’ve told you this 1000 times: Teams from small conferences will always struggle in Lincoln, because it takes them a while to get their bearings after seeing THAT many middle aged rural white guys “throwing bones” to start the game. Seriously, that would throw me off too.

- Why is the tunnel walk mentioned by almost everybody as one of the best part of the game? You actually WON a game by 20+ points. I think you have way more things to worry about than a song from 1985 thrown up on the scoreboard with some pictures. So it was cool. Whoopie doo.

- Somebody must have done a decent job shutting down Jamarko Simmons. I assume he wasn’t hurt and I assumed he actually played. I’ll investigate further to see just what the hell happened, but props nonetheless. (or a big fat “nice going” to Bill Cubit for not throwing to him, although I heard a rumor he was banged up.)

- Regardless, This broke down pretty much as we expected. (I predicted 31 to 23 Huskers) Again, this is a WMU team that gave up 30+ points FIVE times last season and has almost everybody back. Regardless, Ganz appeared to put up decent numbers, but yet made a few mistakes. Not sure where the hell your running game went, but apparently it wasn’t needed. Remember also that two of Bill Callahan’s WORST seasons (2004 and 2007) were opened with big wins over Western Illinois and Nevada. We shall see how it goes.

** Other observations **

- I’m not sure why everybody is all over the Missouri defense today. Mizzou gave up 4 TD’s, a pick 6 (Dumb pass by Daniel) and an absolute scrub TD with :00 on the clock to end the game. Of those four TD’s by Juice Williams, Two of them were absolutely perfect passes that were covered completely. Not much you can do when the guy is putting the deep ball on the money like that. The one missed assignment they did have was a sub just after Gettis hurt his shoulder.

Regardless, That was the second toughest game on Mizzou’s schedule, they played average at best and still put up 52 points and won by double digits. (Against a defending BCS team). There is plenty to improve on, but I think it’s awfully early to start hitting the panic button on the defense. Seriously, watch the highlights…you couldn’t drop a ball out of the sky better than Juice Williams was doing last night. Props to him.

I thought Daniel stayed composed pretty well, and shook off some drops and some bad decisions. Nice to have a weapon like Jeremy Maclin back there as well. For 25 years, Mizzou didn't have a kickoff returned for a touchdown. Now they have 2 in the last 5 games.

Other notes: Temple who? Washington played well as did Jared Perry. When Coffman and Maclin get double covered, it's imperative for those two guys to step up. (Especially until Danario Alexander gets back on 10/4). Regardless, a win is a win..especially against a quality team. I'll take that any day of the week.

- Texas A&M….seriously. I mean, I know CU struggled with Montana State in Dan Hawkins’ first game…and I know Rich Rodriguez struggled in his first game. (I told you Utah was pretty good)…but Arkansas State at Kyle Field? Come on now.

- I think people are completely under-estimating just how bad Florida International is. Granted, KU led 30-10 at the half and Sod Reesing had 256. But if you’re going to be the BCS juggernaut you have built in your own mind..you need to be putting the wood to borderline high school teams like Florida International. That South Florida game just got more interesting.

- Good wins for KSU and ISU…if against other high school teams as well.

- Graham Harrell threw for only 536 against a 1AA team. What the hell is wrong with the Red Raiders? Yeesh, he is slipping.

- Great win for Okie State that has flown under the radar overnight. Wazzu is a decent team with some serious weapons. Pretty good for 5th best team in the south ( or so people say).

So what DID we learn over the weekend? Pretty much nothing we didn't already know. Oh sure, Virginia Tech and Michigan suck, and the teams we thought would be good are good. But alas...even for a jaded Husker Hater, it was great to sit down and enjoy college football on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. I think we can all agree on that.

(Photo Credit: Associated Press and St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Take Your Marks

2008-08-30T08:40:00.005-05:00

8 long months and now, and finally football…glorious football. Oh how I’ve missed you.

Be sure to check back tomorrow morning for in-depth (ok, that’s a stretch) analysis and key breakdowns of all the panic points as we bring sexy back to college football blogging. God forbid the Hicks lose, and you’ll know exactly where to turn as the tears continue to fall. In the meantime, a few random notes:

- Something tells me Rich Rodriguez isn’t going to get off to such a hot start in Ann Arbor. Look for the Weasels to struggle early, as they always seem to do. NOBODY is going to go out and day one run that offense effectively.

- My key to the game for Mizzou vs. Illinois? Tommy Saunders. Coffman and Maclin will draw coverage all night long, look for Saunders to have a big night going one on one with one of Illinois young DB’s. Illinois is going to have to control the clock and find somebody to run the football. It seems this game often showcases some freshman that comes out of nowhere. Eddie McGee and Jeremy Maclin last year. Brad Smith a few years before that. Should be pretty good.

- My key to the game for Nebraska: Stop Jamarko Simmons. This is a nightmare scenario for the Hicks, as they go up against a top-flight wide receiver right out of the shoot. You can damn well bet your overalls that if Steve Pederson was in charge, he would have swapped the date out with San Jose State to give NU a little better start. It’s going to take a lot for the Broncs to win, because I don’t think they’re going to stop the NU running game…but if they stay in it throughout the first half…look out.

- Upset alerts? East Carolina vs. Virginia Tech, Kent State vs. Boston College.

- One last thing, since you all know I’m a politics junkie: Kudos to John McCain for either making the most idiotic or brilliant move in the history of politics. In one morning, the guy single handedly electrified an already crazy upcoming campaign season. As for Palin, you can look at her two ways. (Three if you count the hot “naughty librarian” look she was sporting yesterday.)

First, she could be devastating because some of you are nearly as qualified as she is. It’s absolutely stunning to go from PTA leader to THIS level of government in this short of time. It’s never been done before, let alone by a woman. She is going to get grilled over like no other on the way to 11/4, and she doesn’t have that much time for the American public to get to know her. (And who knows, maybe they won't)

On the other hand, it’s brilliant, because it kills 3 birds with one stone. (From what I’ve read on her, she’s also a lot sharper than people think) First, it re-energizes the GOP. Second, it reaches out to those who feel like McCain is same old, same old. And finally, this lady has insight into two gigantic issues that the other three guys don’t. Her experience taking on big oil companies and her son is shipping off to Iraq.

I have no idea if it was a good move or not…and it very well may be political suicide. But if it works, John McCain singled handedly will have pulled off the greatest move in the history of modern politics and pretty much changed it forever. The old-school good-ol-boy network will have been gone, and the door will be open to an army of younger, non-traditional politicians seeking office. In the end, I know the democrats are feeling giddy about the pick. But then again, weren’t they feeling giddy when President Bush was running with a 35% approval rating in mid 2004? Moral of the story…never underestimate the power of the GOP camp. They may be unethical and sneaky..but they’re very good at getting their people elected.

It should be absolutely fascinating to watch.

Enjoy the games.