October 25, 2005

Time to gloat

(The following blog entry contains rather graphic language...more so than normal. If you're offended by these things...leave now.)

There are times in life when a man needs to make a choice. Sometimes a man has to pick one woman over another. Sometimes a man has to choose what career path to go down. And sometimes, that same man must choose between starting a fight...and turning the other cheek. This is not one of those times.

After Mizzou's 41-24 ass-pounding of Nebraska, I had a nice long drive home to think about how I was going to approach all of the Husker freaks that cross my path every single day. As I was standing in the rain at Faurot Field on Saturday...as I headed to my car, I thought the best way to approach things was to take it easy. I mean, this is the second time in two years Mizzou has beaten Nebraska. This is the second time that a late 2nd half asskicking has brought to light the fact that the Hicks are nothing but a complete fraud. I don't get all fired up about beating Baylor? Or Oklahoma State? Or Iowa State? Nebraska is no better than any of those teams.

But then...as the week has unfolded, there have been a multitude of crying, finger-pointing and bashing toward Missouri and their fans. Sour grapes? Actual beef? Are Mizzou fans more mean-spirited than most people?

How bout the fact that this is what you fucking get for pounding people for years and years and years, and then being arrogant assholes about the whole thing. How bout, THIS is what it feels like for people to taunt you as you leave the stadium 5 minutes early, down double digits. How bout THIS is what it feels like to have the other team roll up 500+ yards on you and your shit-overrated defense. This crap has been going on for DECADES, and Husker fans have the actual sack to bitch about it? Are you fucking kidding me?

I have seen some pretty sore losers in my day, but NEVER what I've seen both on Saturday and around Huskerland this week. "Their fans were animals" "They've never beaten anybody good". "They don't know what it's like to win."

Yes. Yes. And yes. But the point is...learn how to take some fucking humility you jagoffs.

Then there's this fucking kid from the Daily Nebraskan who threw a vagina-fit about Mizzou fans on his trip to Columbia this weekend. Nevermind the fact that his hair looks like Sideshow Bob's. Nevermind the fact that he most likely didn't get into Mizzou's journalism school (the top ranked in America). Nevermind the fact that he comes off sounding like a whiney little bitch. TAKE YOUR ASS BEATING LIKE A MAN YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Maybe I feel this way because I've seen my team lose in some really shitty ways. I've seen kicked balls. I've seen fifth downs. I've seen 6 seconds tick off the clock in the NCAA tourney without the ball being in bounds. I've seen just about everything. But this little buttsmear makes it sound like he was stepping into something from Mad Max. NEXT TIME YOU GO TO A ROAD GAME...HAVE ENOUGH COMMON SENSE TO FUCKING COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT YOU MIGHT JUST FUCKING LOSE. And I love how this always happens to teams who just-so-happen to kick the Huskers ass. Colorado has "horrible fans", KSU has "horrible fans" and now Missouri has "horrible fans". I think "horrible fans" is code speak for "fans of team who now kick our ass on a regular basis." I for one welcome that label.

And this doesn't even touch the players who are acting the exact same as many of the crybaby fans. Says hayseed Beau Ruuud, "We really shot ourselves today. We made too many mistakes. I don't think the better team won." Uuhhhhhh huh? YOU GAVE UP 480 YARDS TO ONE GUY! Do you know how freaking hard that is? It's been done only once in the HISTORY of college football. You couldn't line up the cheerleaders from Omaha Marian and give up that many yards. And you didn't think the better team won? What the fuck are you talking about?!?!?!

Moral of the story: When you were pounding on people 63-6 all those years...you really should have thought about the consequences of your actions. When you were using that fake "applause" when you cheered the losing team off your own field after a win..you might want to think about what was going to happen when you were suddenly barely better than Baylor. And yes...you barely are.

So enjoy talking about your moral victories or your "too many turnovers" or the "we gave them the game" bullshit. I hope every fucking team from here til the end of time runs it up on your sorry ass, and not only tears the goalposts down on you...but burns their own town down in celebration. NOBODY deserves it more than you people. So just sit back and enjoy the ass-kickings you're about to endure on a regular basis...because you'd think you'd be used to all of this by now.

Scoreboard (x2) dicks.


Anonymous matty said...

Buttsmear? Jagoff? Learn some new nouns, man. Read mine from this morning and I'll let you borrow 'fuckbubble' if you really can't get creative with your cussing.

But yeah, for everything else, fuck these sourpuss 'necks. Some people just don't understand the dynamics of karma, dyou know what I mean?

4:17 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Kiss my ass jizmonkey.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Adam said...


4:59 PM  
Anonymous The King of Fremont said...

WOW! Very nice! Hopefully Capt. America doesn't read it!

2:04 PM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

I never had any problems with Missouri fans on Saturday. I do have a problem with delusional Husker fans who thought Nebraska was the better team that day. We got a couple of lucky bounces to tie the game, otherwise, we got pounded on both sides of the ball.

11:25 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Damnit Mike...I hate it when I have to applaud you. Seriously..you are probably the most level-headed Husker fan I know..and unlike 99.999% of them...can take a little ribbing from time to time.

Props to you.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Sidebar Sam said...

AJ: You sound like a turd burgler who just got slapped with a paternity suit. Wow, that's some pent up frustration. Evidently, being an ass-loving loser your whole like has really had a negative impact on your life. GET COUNSELING!

11:22 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Turd Burger?

What the fuck? That's the best you can do? "turd burger"?

Congratulations..that's the dumbest reply I've ever gotten...and I've seen them all.

Go fuck yourself.

11:26 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - How are things going at the rehab clinic. (Scary how that works, isn't it?)

11:28 AM  
Anonymous mavjh said...

Colossal work, AJ - I only wish I could've been at Far Out Field in person to witness it. 'Bout freaking time NU got its ass handed back 2x in a row at MU - LITERALLY (and not just due to a fluke-ass play).

1:16 PM  

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