October 28, 2006

Judgment Day has Arrived....Let There be Hate

(Warning, the following rant contains vulgar and crude language...even more than usual. Parental guidance is suggested)

And so here we are.

Many times in life we face a crossroads of sorts. Throughout our lives, we can actually see individual worlds collide. Sometimes we can actually see into the future just how unpleasant and painful the upcoming shall be. This week, is one of those times.

For the next seven days, I am going to take you on a journey through hatred seldom seen by mortal man. Just thinking about the fucking jackoffs in my office and putting up with their fucking bullshit for five straight days makes my blood boil. The constant snipes in meetings. The e-mails. The links. The fight songs to start a conference call. Hell hath no fury like a sports fan scored...and now, judgment day is nearly here.

But this is no ordinary week.

Up 16-0 today on barely-better-than-mediocre Oklahoma State, running through holes that Mark Mangino could fit into...the Nebraska University state sponsored football team splattered themselves on the sidewalk yet again. It was messy. It was dirty. It was absolutely surreal. A team that lost to Kansas State and Houston bitchslapped the Huskers like Ike Turner on day 3 of a 4 day coke bender. The Huskers were exposed as frauds yet again on the gentle Oklahoma plains. But the story doesn't stop there. Not today.

Up next is the game that will decide whether or not Husker fan reaches his pre-set summer goals (By "goals" I mean demands, I also mean those Husker fans who weren't fucking stupid enough to predict 11-1 seasons and the like). Up next is the biggest test of Bill Callahan's patheticly overrated career. One loss to Missouri on Saturday, and the entire state of Nebraska will implode like nothing we have ever seen before. You think 2004 was bad? What will happen when year three of the great Oakland flunky experiment is sitting at 6-4 with a road game at Texas A&M sitting on deck? What will happen when one of the downtrodden teams of the North..a similarly pathetic Missouri Tiger squad comes in and beats the Hicks on their own turf...for the third time in four years?

How will Husker fan, Husker player, Husker coaches and Husker AD react when being put into this corner? I have no earthly idea. Missouri comes in limping after a spirited, but pathetic effort against a vanilla Oklahoma team that is loaded with athletes. (Although very beatable) Absolutely nothing went right for the Tigers on Saturday, setting up nuclear armageddon that has been foreseen for many many months.

No matter how we got to this point...this is where fate has put us. It's you against me. It's me against all of you. I don't intend to go down with the bat on my shoulders.

You fucking assclowns deserve to go down in the tangled, gooey mess that you and your AD have made for yourselves. I hope you realize how much fun it will be to walk into that stadium...and look every single overall wearing geezer in the eyes that I can...staring into their charcoal crusted souls...and telling them that I'm not going down without a fucking fight. I am going to see to it that I am as foul, as vile and as evil of a visiting fan that has ever walked into that 300 year old shithole on 10th Street you call Mecca.

No matter what the final score, for those 60 minutes I will know I will have done my part to look the beast directly in the eyes when prior to his death. I want to be Linda Hamilton when she cries out, "You're terminated fucker" as the vice slowly clamps down and drains the energy out of a once great predator. I want to be there when the shit hits the proverbial fan. I want to stare each and every one of you fucking people in the eyes as you file quietly out. I want to witness the execution. I want to see it all end.

Husker fan has indeed reached a point of no return this week. A point where they can no longer go home...a place they can no longer find shelter. If the Huskers lose this game, church bells will ring...celebrations will erupt and cheers will echo into the night sky as one of the most menacing programs in the history of American sports dies a slow and painful death. Sure in the end, I may leave disappointed, but the table has been set. Missouri may kick me in the face again, as they've done so so many times before. I'm prepared for that. I've been down that road before. This however is an opportunity that cannot be wasted. It's not very often you get to see the death of an program...but I'll be fucking damned if I'm going to miss it and swing for the fences as hard as I can.

I'm either going to wiff...or I'm going to jack one out of the park. There is no in between.

I hope you all have a miserable fucking week that matches how true shitty fans such as yourself deserve . I hope you flood the airwaves with calls, trying to breakdown just what has gone wrong in Steve O's grand plan. But most of all...above all else...If by some chance the big red ship does sink to the bottom of the ocean on Saturday...I want you to think of me....and how I carried the torch for all the teams you pompously stepped on all these years. I want you to think about all the times you arrogantly clapped for some team you got done beating 70-3. I want you to think about how much joy there is watching the death of a program that has been such a wart on the ass of college football for all these years.

I hope you have a great week worrying about all of these things. I hope you find trust and hope in each other. I hope you realize just how fucked you and your team really is. I hope you realize how the entire world is against you.

Let the carnival of hate begin. (And it's only Sunday)



Anonymous Anonymous said...

you might have to take a trip over to Council Bluffs for some of that high quality Iowa meth to sustain that much rage all week. Best of luck to you on that.

12:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, I can't agree more. Nebraska deserves to see what they really are. Insignificant. In the south, no one talks about Nebraska. Excecpt, of course, to call them overrated.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The funny thing is that if the Bugs win and lock up a slot in the Championship game, some of those dopes will still say "we're back" which couldn't be further from the truth. Just ask my Buffs, who backed into that game three of the last four years with 4-4 conference records or slightly better and didn't score an offensive TD in any of them. The North is awful, we saw evidence of that all over the place yesterday, and winning the North is nothing more than a booby prize.

Good Luck Tigers,

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Billy Bear said...

feel the power of the dark side...should be an entertaining week...hell as a buffs fan, right now its all I've got!

If you need any help with assertiveness training, I have an excellent therapist...

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I please buy you a beer on Saturday.

Go Tigers!

4:46 PM  
Anonymous CJTiger said...


Love the blog. While I don't hate the bugeaters as much as you do, I know where you are coming from. I actually kind of respected NU unitl '97. Now they could drop off the face of the earth as far as I am concerned.

IMO, we are the better team, and should win if we don't lay an egg (again). However, this is Mizzou, and we are very cabable of that.

5:42 PM  
Blogger wildksu said...

I have been checking this blog weekly and absolutely love it!!!

I know that "ALMIGHTY, Children of the Corn" whupped us, (sort of, I guess), but there was nothing better than to see the "Big Red" uh, CHOKE!!!.

I am really looking forward to this weekend and MU and NU game.

I've seen both against my cats, NU couldn't close us out until late and although I felt optomistic against the Tigers, for a few minutes, the Tigers showed how much they have improved and allowed reality to set in and put the hammer down on us. Even though they really whupped us, I think I'll pull for the Tigers, because they don't expect us and will probably never expect us to bow down to them.

I look forward to the comments this week about the "N" making excuses for this weekend's choke job. Boy, oh boy, I am sure glad, "they're back!"

Go Cats beat the Buffs!
Go Tigers beat the Corn!

Keep it up, this a great site!

7:23 AM  

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