February 28, 2005

Can we talk? The Oscars really suck

I'm not sure what it is about the Oscars that makes my stomach turn. Maybe it's because every woman over the age of 25 absolutely FREAKS out when they see some guy in a tux. Maybe it's because people secretly wish they were those people walking down the red carpet.

Or maybe it's because people really have nothing better to do. I can honestly say, I may be the last person on earth who has not watched a single moment...of a single award show in the history of the world. Oh wait...I take that back. I did watch Blink 182 jam out to 'All the small things' on the MTV music awards one year, but that was only because 25 dwarfs were dancing along with them. (Hey...you gotta stop channel surfing if you see that.)

Truth be told...I like TV. I appreciate TV. God knows, I have spent many an hour in my lifetime watching TV. But eventually, I turned 21...discovered beer and got the f*ck out of my parents house and stopped caring what was on TV. (Excpet sports or CNN during wartime..that's different). The fact of the matter is...I haven't seen anything.

"Seen that one episode of CSI?" - Nope.

"Seen that one Desperate Housewives chick?" - Nope

"Seen Nick and Jessica" - Only when Jessica's shirt is low cut and she doesn't open her mouth.

Fact of the matter is, TV has become so absolutely shitty that it has taken the entire brain-capability of Western civilization down with it. I'm not sure what it is about this crap that draws people. Survivor? Dr. 90210? The Osbornes? Are you f*cking kidding me?!?! As that once-great-punk-band-now-radio-disney-favorite Bowling for Soup said, "Whatever happend to sitcoms and gameshows?"

TV sucks ass so bad right now, it's literally taking the rest of human existance with it into a giant black hole, where nothing is bound to survive but a couple of brain cells..one of Pamela Anderson's mamary glands and a couple of million zombies who have been raised on TV so god-f*cking awful that they don't know any better.

Oh wait...I take it all back...South Park does kick ass.


PS - And don't get me started on the giant bowl of shit known as MTV. Horrible...just horrible. At least back in my day, we only had Daria to blame...but then again..that's kinda where it all started.


Blogger mattp_68135 said...

The Newlyweds is one of the biggest wastes of TV I have ever seen. They spent a whole 30 minutes show of Jessica not happy because Nick was watching the USC game. I think that would be one of those moments in time Lewis Black would shove a pencil in his temple.

8:04 AM  

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