Mid-Week Notes and Ramblings

Is it just me, or does there seem to be almost TOO much stuff going on? (And in 6 weeks, there will be absolutely nothing going on).

Not one but TWO Big 12 North teams are in the top 5 of the BCS. Nebraska is in the process of hiring a new football coach for the second time in five years. College basketball is heating up and to top it all off…the holidays are coming.

But, since Tom Osborne's seemingly frantic coaching search has suddenly burst into flames along the highway like a used Kia Sorento from Kabul Motors…we have to turn our attention elsewhere. Obviously we can’t talk about Missouri being only 60 minutes from the BCS Championship game, because most of you people have a big ol’ problem with it; and quite frankly, I don’t really want to even be reminded of what it likes to root for a good team again. (I'm assuming most of you forgot)

So what does that leave me here? Holiday gift giving ideas? Yam recipes? Discuss the latest contestant to get eliminated on “Shot of Love” on MTV? Perhaps great Husker left offensive tackles of the last 20 years?

Nope. Not going to do it. As some of you know, I try not to get too in-depth with analysis of actual games and teams, because quite frankly I don’t have the time and I really don’t care all that much if Arizona State has a great cover 2 scheme this season or not. But in light of the BCS race coming down to the wire, let’s take a look at some of the teams left on the lead lap.

First of all, I must admit that I was wrong about something. I honestly was always in favor of a playoff for years, quite frankly because that was the only way I thought mid-level teams were ever going to find their way into the title game. However, scholarship limits, and watching several Cinderella stories this season has changed my mind somewhat. If you take the best 8-16 or whatever, what does that do to the big games during the regular season? Doesn’t it pretty much kill the non-conference season? (Especially if you only allow conference champions and 1 or 2 at-larges into the BCS.)

Games such as the Ohio State vs. Michigan game, LSU-Florida etc would hold less meaning (not to me, but to others) if you knew there was a decent chance of vindication later on. And no, don’t give me this whole, “if USC were in a tourney now, they’d win it all” crap. I know they were banged up, but they lost to STANFORD…at home. If you think you have some mandate to a title after doing that..simply because of how you play now..you’re wrong. If you can't beat Stanford...even with your 3rd team...you probably don't deserve to win a title.

But don't get me wrong. I’m not hell bent against a playoff. I just think it would diminish at least part of the regular season, which has been great so far this year.

** Speaking of BCS and championships, the big rage right now is who is “worthy” of playing in the title game, since there are something 85 teams with one loss. So lets take a look at some of the players who are left in the big picture as we approach the finish line.

* West Virginia – I have absolutely nothing against West Virginia sitting where they are, despite the fact that they lost a game they really really shouldn’t have. The Big East will never ever be confused with a real conference. However, since college football is a beauty pageant, you should go by what you see. It doesn’t take a genius to see for your own eyes that WVU is fast, athletic and scary. They beat Pitt, obviously they should be in.

* Missouri – Bias aside, the Tigers have the “best” loss of the 1 loss teams. Losing to OU in Norman at night is nothing to be ashamed of (at least not as much as losing to Colorado, South Florida or Stanford). This team has defied every stereotype of a typical Missouri team, so who knows what will happen. However, if they do beat OU fair and square, you can not in your right mind say that Ohio State (lost to Illinois) or anybody else deserves to be ahead of them.

* I really don’t hate or have anything against any of the top teams…except for Ohio State. For some reason, these people think that beating Michigan (same team who lost to a 1-AA school) is worthy of an automatic ticket to the grand prize. (Oh, and Kennedy is still president) Uhhh, just because you have those goofy-ass leafy nut things on your helmets, doesn’t mean you’re any better than anybody else. In fact, watching their offense this year, I’m quite certain they would finish behind 8 or 9 big 12 schools…including…yes..Nebraska. Buckeye fans, you're pathetic. Stop your whining.

* Oklahoma is a great team with great talent. But you lost to Colorado and Texas Tech…two teams that Missouri beat by a combined score of 96-20. Should they beat the Tigers in San Antonio, you can hand the Sooners their usual scepter as kings of the big 12. That most likely isn’t too far fetched..but remember, great teams don’t play Iowa State to 17-7 games. Probably not title game material, whether Bradford was hurt or not.

* Arizona State. Nice season and hot cheerleaders, but you lost your big chance when you had USC at home on national TV. Great campus though.

* Georgia. I like the Bulldogs. I like their coaching. I like their defense. I like that they’ve had a killer schedule. They rank in the middle of the pack on offense, but can put up lots of points. But you lost to South Carolina, got crushed by Tennessee and ya didn’t have to play LSU. Great team. BCS worthy…should be ranked exactly where they are.

* LSU. Am I the only person on earth who isn’t head over heels in love with this team? Les Miles is batshit crazy, and nearly cost them several wins. They had two thumpings early in the season (Miss State and Va Tech), but since October…has played every tough team on their schedule close. Either way, if you lose to Arkansas at home and Kentucky anywhere..you have no business complaining about where you are. On a side note, how the hell did Bo Pelini give up 34 points to Alabama when they only scored 14 against Louisiana Monroe? That makes sense.

* And finally, Hawaii. One of the best (or worst) things about college football is it’s ability to distort stats. Unlike baseball, football stats depend largely on who you played. In watching Hawaii now three times, there is no doubt they could put points up on BCS teams. But how would we know? We don’t, and all you can do is simply make the judgement in your head. To me, Hawaii belongs in the BCS, and will abruptly get their teeth kicked in by any number of BCS schools. Nothing against them, but it’s your own fault guys. Kick ass uniforms though.

** Finally, regular season for Nebraska is over…and the crying kid is back in his regular spot. 63% of you last time voted to keep him there. Should we stick with that plan? Or do you guys want to see it mixed up? Either way is fine with me…Justin the web-bitch from Reno needs some work to do, so I thought I’d ask what you would prefer.

Happy ice storm eve everyone. (Believe that when I see it)

Where the Hell am I?

What planet is this?

Step out of your skin for one moment. Set down your 1971 National Championship mug and listen to me for one second. On this day, in late October 2007, not only is Nebraska 4-5…but Kansas AND Missouri are both in the top 10, headed to a showdown of hate and rage, the likes of which this nation hasn’t seen since the days of Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant.

Due to this fact, you’ll have to excuse me if I’ve been knocked a little bit off kilter by all of this. For you see, this is not just one case of absurdity, but of three. Oh sure, I always knew Nebraska would fall off the face of the earth with a gigantic splat that you could plainly hear in Tajikistan. But I was never really sure if Missouri could take that next step. And I’ll be honest, I thought the Keebler Elves would fly out of my ass whistling show tunes before I saw Kansas in the top 10 again.

It’s kind of the same feeling you would get walking out to your mailbox on a cold Sunday morning, and watching Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny cruise by in an IROC. Or perhaps it would be like flipping on the TV and watching the Barry Bonds Christmas Telethon for Easter Seals. Or maybe even flipping on Sportscenter and NOT seeing a story about the Red Sox or Yankees within the first 10 minutes.

So now what? We know Nebraska is royally screwed, regardless of what underwhelming yayhoo they slog in here in front of the cameras next month, with the same pomp and circumstance that goes with the election of a new pope or the crowning of Miss America. But does that mean the season has failed to produce intrigue?

Enter the Border War.

I’ve tried to explain to you people that this is not a soapbox for me to stand on to preach high and low about how great my favorite team is. I’m well aware that at any moment, the mighty Tigers can give up 8 turnovers and splatter on the ground to the deafening tones of “They pulled a Mizzou again.” But this season..and this week especially, I am faced with a dilemma that has only been seen in my worst nightmares.

On Saturday, the team I hate the most goes up against the team I am bound by blood to despise. Worse yet, it is a game that has some of the biggest ramifications to my own team of any game since I was 9. So what the hell is a card carrying Husker hater to do?

Normally when Kansas and Nebraska meet, I root for Al Qaeda. However, I realize that one of these teams has to win, and only one of these teams can lose. I will readily admit however..in a NORMAL year, when Husker fans are crawling out of the woodwork to send me taunts and e-mails about new t-shirts or trophies they made up and gave themselves…I would pull silently for the underdog Jayhawks.

Yet in this bizzaro world, Boston College sits at #2 in the BCS. USC looks completely average. A 1-AA team walked into Michigan Stadium and beat the Weasels. The Red Sox have won 2 of the last 4 World Series’. Missouri is ranked #9 and is 7-1. Jenna Jameson looks every bit the two-bit dishrag you always knew she’d become. (Jesus, have you seen her lately?). And worse yet, I’m left to ponder questions that would make my brain explode any other season but this one.

Kansas or Nebraska?

Hell, even a tie doesn’t help me, since KU would pick up another ½ game in the standings should Missouri slip up against Colorado or K-State in the coming weeks. (I’m assuming that’s OK though, because no way in hell does KU go to Stillwater and win under the lights). Regardless, I must do what’s best for my own team, and hope for the continuation of a strange and wonderful season.

I officially declare that I will not be rooting against Nebraska this Saturday morning when the two teams meet. I therefore let it be known to all that I am simply clutching neutrality, and will accept the fate of whatever team comes out victorious.

I want you to know that this decision does not come easy, nor was it done in haste. I simply believe that you, the fine readers of this blog deserve to know the truth behind a very difficult situation that I find myself in. I’m sure this will not be completely understood, nor will I be able to escape it once the game is complete. However, I am a team player, and must do as every good fan must do..and that is put aside the fact that Nebraska sucks gigantic donkey balls for just 3 short hours out of a lifetime.

If I could gargle in Clorox, I would.
If I could bleach my soul, I would.
If I could jump into a swimming pool full of Listerine, I would do it in an instant.

In this bizzaro world of college football, there are no easy answers…only difficult circumstances.

* On a quick note, I’ve been asked by a few to comment on Sam Keller. Most of you know by now that I don’t attack athletes personally, especially those who have their career’s cut short due to injury. No matter what the situation, you never want to see a player injured, especially before their full allotment of time in the spotlight is over. This goes for Missouri’s Pig Brown as well. Simply wish for them the strength to understand that there is more to life than sports.

It stinks…but it is a part of life.

* Having Peter Gammons report live from the World Series, is like having Mark Mangino lecture me on good eating habits from the floor of a slaughterhouse. ESPN is a giant network, can’t they find ONE baseball analyst who isn’t a diehard Sox fan to slobber all over the most arrogant and genetically easy team to root for in the history of baseball?


(Photo Credit of Fatgino - Lawrence.com, Mizzou pic via Columbia Tribune)