Instant Gator Analysis - As Good as it Gets
The way you came back and clawed your way ahead of a 6 loss, mid-level ACC team with absolutely no hint of an offense was something to behold. Now don’t get me wrong…I was barely awake to witness the showcase of field-goal fueled offensive superpowers, although I was coherent enough to witness the Clemson QB…who for some reason looks a lot like Adam Sandler…get sacked on a 20 yard loss on third and goal from the 10 with the game on the line. Seriously, is that their regular QB? Does he know you can throw the ball away while scrambling?
And you people say my team’s QB sucks...yeesh.
That dude was the worst signal caller I’ve seen since Wake Forest trotted out their 4th string water boy against JC and the boys down in North Carolina last season. (Game reminded me a lot of that game as well) But alas, order is restored, and you can now go back to your rightful place on top of the college football world. Then again, your senior class leaves Lincoln a stellar 3-12 vs. ranked teams in their four years, (the three wins were over #24 Texas A&M in 2006, and in 2005 over #23 ISU and #20 Michigan) and won a whopping 1 division title. (For a school that will brag to anybody with a pulse that they've won FIVE NATIONAL titles)
I hate to say this...and truth be told however, this might be it for a while. You break in a new QB next season and lost nearly every single offensive player who played worth a shit this afternoon. (Minus Castille who had a few nice runs.) Plus, don’t look now…but you have to go to Lawrence and Columbia next season; two places you haven’t exactly lit up the past few times you’ve been there. (And oh yeah...don't forget Texas Tech and Oklahoma aren't exactly going to suck next season either...nor will Va Tech)
But who am I to rain on your grand parade today? Today, on this fantastic day of days..where you proved you WERE indeed BETTER than a 6-loss ACC Team, I only have a couple of points. Oh sure, we still have to see how Pelini is going to win using players he actually recruited, but what reason is there to bring common sense and facts into this discussion? Your first January bowl win in 9 freaking years deserves room to celebrate...even from me. (9 years is a long ass time by the way)
* Good for Joe Ganz. That dude played his ass off for you people, and earned my respect, getting his ass kicked most of the game. Hopefully, on his way out the door, he gives all of you a giant middle finger for treating him like shit prior to 2007. You remember those days right? Like when every single one of you wanted him to transfer because he simply couldn’t match up to the physical God-given talent of J.C. Keller? Hopefully he'll turn that upcoming poster-signing business into something a bit more practical in light of your former taunts.
* I know I say this a lot (because...well, it’s kind of my 2nd job), But do ANY of you people realize what complete tools you look on television during the games? I mean, the foam ears of corn on your head are stupid enough, but that’s been done. No, dressing up as a giant ear of corn, while your fat pasty frat brother dances around shirtless in white striped overalls isn’t exactly projecting a cosmopolitan image to the rest of the country. Don’t get me wrong…nobody was watching that snooze fest except for a few people who live in South Carolina..who have identity problems as well…but wouldn’t you think somebody would try and do something about that? (Then again, your team spokesman is Larry the Cable Guy, so whom am I kidding?)
And it’s not just some of you…almost every single one of you douchebags who showed up in Florida’s northeastern armpit today looked like you’ve never seen the light of day, or God forbid watched a sporting event with other people. Perhaps the camera people went out of their way to show your fans at their worst. Or perhaps it was just coincidence that the most hard-core (ie moron) fans made the trip this year. But rest assured, those of us not wearing a faded red sweatshirt today all noticed your complete and total lack of sophistication and charm.
It’s funny when people at NFL games do it because they’re most likely drunk. You on the other hand have absolutely no excuse other than your extremely shallow gene pool.
* I’m going to throw it out there: New Years Day sucks. FIVE games? That’s all we get now FIVE games? Back in the day, New Year’s was the quintessential holiday of College Football. Now, it doesn’t even have ½ the number of games available on TV as a typical regular season. Just call it yet another way the man is sticking it to the common fan. Screw it..at least the hockey game was badass again as usual.
This week, the Big 12 North recap. Til then...See ya at 72nd and Dodge!
Gator Bowl Champs!!!!