March 5, 2005

They're only words

Because I deal with this nearly everyday...and even before I lay one finger on Husker football...I feel I need to explain myself.

It has become painfully painfully obvious that many people in this world take message board banter just a little too seriously. Case in point from a rather portly fan from the Bowling Green message board recently, who didn't take too kindly to me bashing her favorite team over the years. You can see the statement on page three of this particular fan website

In this particular thread, the portly fan of the puck goes on to say that not only am I "all bark and no bite", but I'm also a short, bald non-fan who doesn't even wear his own team colors to games. The reply goes on to say that all UNO fans are "morons" and basically we have no right to hate the goons that make up their team.

Now, my first instinct to this is to log onto the hideous woman(?)'s fan board and blast her and her friends into complete verbal oblivion by mentioning several facts that I didn't see on their little board. Such facts that include the stripping down of teammates, covering them with Crisco, taping them together, and then taking a Polaroid of everybody's crank in the face of said players. (GOOOOOOOOOD fun) However, after thinking about it for a hit me like a bolt of lightning.

These fucking people don't know any better.

This person went to the games in Omaha looking for the second coming of the Watts riots. She (again, use the term loosely) wears a jersey that will intentionally create a buzz (Hewson jersey), and then is actually DISAPPOINTED when nobody says anything to her. Here's where the separation of reality and fantasy begin. WE ARE NOT DETROIT YOU FUCKING IDIOT. People do not walk up to opposing fans, get in their fucking face and start screaming about how much crank their upperclassman had the nightbefore...which judging from those pictures..might be quite a bit. You see, this person came to the game expecting message board mentality to meet reality. Maybe it's just me...but you have to be pretty fucking stupid to think that people are EXACTLY the same on a message board as they are in real life.

I mean, do you ACTUALLY think I sit around my house on a normal Saturday and think about fucking Bowling Green hockey? Are you fucking kidding me? Don't give yourself so much fucking credit you doushebags. Message boards are great, because I can talk shit on MY schedule, not somebody else's. If I don't have time to call Scott Hewson a fucking goon online, then I simply don't. However, if I'm sitting at work on my lunch hour..and the thought hits me...I post.

If I had a dollar for how many times people came up to me and said, "You're not even close to as big of an asshole as you are online." Well no shit Sherlock. It's a fucking game played by serious do you think you have to take this stuff? I talk shit because a) it's fun and b) I'm good at it. It's not a real hard equation to figure out. If you have the means, the time and the can say pretty much whatever you want, and let it be done as soon as you hit send. Apparently, this fucking idiot from the middle of bumfuck Ohio didn't quite get that.

So let this be my official invitation to this hideous Rosie O'Donnell look alike to come and find me the next time Bowling Green hockey is in town. (I say that because I saw the "woman" in the jersey, and trust me....Nikki Cox, she was not.) If you want to take things 100% serious and ask me to throw down right there because you didn't like some fucking words I wrote on a computer...then fine. Take it up with the police officer that stands over me during each game...and we'll find a way for you to get your aggessions out on me while I laugh at you for being a fucking idiot who takes themselves and the words they read WAYYYY to seriously.

Moral of the story? Get the fuck over yourself, and try to find something else to take literally. Like the 10 commandments, the U.S. Constitution or the words to Baby Got Back. Have a fucking beer, enjoy watching your favorite team, and think the next time you hop online and decide to call me out.

Oh last thing: Husker spring special coming up during next post.



Blogger something_something said...

(stands and applauds)

3:52 PM  

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