November 22, 2006

My Warmest Thanksgiving Regards



Last post before the holiday, and Husker myopia is set to raise it's ugly head yet again. With the anti-climactic Husker win over Missouri a few weeks ago, thus solidifying themselves as the (barely) best shitty team in the North, it seems the red tide has ebbed a bit. But now, with a Nationally televised beatdown by Texas on the horizon, you can bet that Herbie and Howdy Doody people will be back to their old selves again in a matter of days.

Luckily, I will not be taking part of those little reindeer games, or really any other game this weekend. I'll be heading to the ski resorts of Colorado this afternoon, far away from the inevitable circle jerk festival that will overwhelm the state of Nebraska after beating a pretty bad CU team for a meaningless home win. Saturday night I will find myself in the bowels of the beast (so to speak), as I hit O Street in Lincoln. Meet you all there. First pitcher of Elk Creek water is on me. (If you're all not out at 72nd and Dodge celebrating being the skinniest girl at fat camp).

Anyhow, my anger toward Nebraska and the upcoming mass splatter sound sure to follow a completely meaningless game, is tempered a bit. With this, the holiday season, I find it almost difficult to call you fat hypocrites out for being exactly what you are....complete and total idiots. But alas, at this time of year, we must find it in our hearts to coexist. So with that, I wish you and yours a happy and safe Thanksgiving holiday. Sure, is usually sucks, with the whole family issues, and working your ass off to cook and clean a house, just so relatives you don't even like can come and destroy your home...but it's the spirit of the season.

Then again, the spirit of the season is commercialism, "Black Friday", white sales, 16 page ads, 5am early bird sales and anything else that helps drive the economy of this great nation. So despite the crappiness of the holiday season...despite the complete buried message of hope, goodwill and peace....I hope you and yours find your way through the fog of family and commercialism to enjoy your holiday. And for you Husker fan, I hope this weekend finds you penniless and broke so that you can't pay for your combine tune up to drive you the 180 miles to Kansas City next week. May the spirit of the season embrace you as you continue your slow march toward hell.

I hope you assholes choke on a wishbone, electrocute yourself putting up Christmas lights, get run over by a reindeer, or choke on grandma's special red eggnog. I hope aunt Velma develops a hacking wet caught while making the stuffing. I hope the foil falls off your 1975 Volumax TV, just as the mighty hicks get set to take the field. I hope Santa arrives at your house early, and beats your kids with a bag full of door knobs. I hope you find a swarm of locusts when you put up your Christmas tree. I hope Bill Callahan is found with an underage male prostitute.
I hope you all get what's coming to you.
Happy fucking Thanksgiving everybody.

AJ

PS - I'll be back Sunday with a photo wrap-up of the trip, as well as reaction to yet another mediocre Husker win over a sub .500 opponent, as well as the hand-down-the-pants reaction by the Omaha media and fans. Please stay safe so you'll be here on Sunday for me to bash you more.

2 Comments:

Blogger Commish CH said...

Cheers my man...and God speed

10:42 PM  
Blogger joebob said...

aj - sorry to say it - you're a pussy!

How in the hell can you leave town when your Tigers are playing the damned suck-hawks?

I understand your disdain for all things pink - I mean red - but dammit - YOUR PLAYING THE FUCKING FAGS FROM LOW-RENTS!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're not there - who is going to be in Columbia to tell them how much they suck?

True - my Cats went to low-rents last week and laid an egg (I thought only suck-hawks laid eggs), but I was there to remind them that, no matter what the scoreboard said, they still SUCK!

I guess - have a good time on the slopes and I hope your Tigers beat the living shit out of those fucking faggots from the flaw on the kaw.

11:34 PM  

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