Neighborhood Explosives and the Mid-Summer Classic

I had no idea it was close to the start of July until the shock and awe campaign began outside my house last night around dusk. I've said it before, and I'll say it once again....why you need to celebrate the birth of our great nation by having your 12 year old kid hang out outside my driveway with 12 pounds of gunpowder is beyond me. Again, I'd be a hypocrite if I said I didn't do the same sort of thing when I was a kid....but if I remember right, we weren't blowing up 1/2 the neighborhood a full 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after the 4th.

And aren't fireworks illegal in the city anyway? Why does the Nebraska State Patrol have to setup a roadblock on the I-80 bridge to catch mini-vans full of fireworks enter the state, but yet you can't send just one patrol car down any city street within 100 miles, and make about 85,000 arrests of people setting off small IED's in the street. Pretty flippin stupid if you ask me. Just make them legal and be done with it. (Then again, don't. I enjoy 500 billion dollars a year in Omaha GDP being spent over the Missouri border. If there's any other way we can figure out to bilk these idiots of their hard earned money, I'm all ears.)

Anyhow, sorry for the short delay. Seems Tuesday's top 50 list made the rounds of the message board circuit, so I thought I would leave it above the fold for an extra day. It always amazes me when I throw something like that out there, how a vast majority of Husker fans who read it lose their collective minds that somebody could be that disrespectful of God's favorite football team.

I'm not sure how many essays I have to write...how many blogs I have to start to get my point across. Perhaps the day you guys actually do get it, I'll stand down. In the meantime, nothing is really going to change, nor should you expect it to. I'm also amazed at the reaction from other fan bases, as they are as shocked as anyone that somebody could hate the world's greatest fans. But alas, YOU don't have to live with them. YOU don't have to listen to sportscasters breakdown the new, improved and EXTREMELY talented NU secondary (ie-Freshman) in June. (Meanwhiile, every other state in the union is talking about normal things like baseball. Hell, even Wyoming and Montana TV stations probably mix in a story about fishing or rodeo now and then)

But alas, the thundering heard of red-clad, myopic fans continues to roam the plains, and I will continue to sit here and report on them.

In other news....

Still no official word on Mo Purify's "punishment"? If anything, you can always count on the swift, vengeful and often maple-syrup-esque hand of justice to come down on anyone who dares defy the Lincoln municipal code. For the love of God, what the hell are they waiting for? I know he's going to get a slap on the wrist. You all know he's going to get a slap on the wrist. Just get it over with so we can all mock you for having a renegade program, and you can tell us how we just don't understand how Bill Callahan can change young men. (since he's been coaching them a whopping 4 years). For the love of God, I can't be kept in limbo like this.

*** National discussion for the next few weeks will hit on baseball's All-Star game. Much anticipated is the upcoming decision players and manager Tony LaRussa need to make regarding Barry Bonds and his selection for the 2007 All-Star game. Despite you not caring about baseball (except when the Huskers are having a 40 win season, when you are suddenly not only big fans..but experts), let me throw around a couple of thoughts about one of my favorite sporting events to watch as a kid.

First, who cares about the record? Baseball records were "immortal" back in the days when there were 8 teams and they all traveled by train. In fact, since Cal Ripken broke Gehrig's record, everything else has been a wash. Interleague play, crappy pitching and launching-pad ballparks have pretty much diluted any and all sexiness in baseball's record books. Who gives a shit if Barry Bonds is going to break Hank Aaron's record? ARod or somebody else is just going to break his record in a few years anyway. Hell, Prince Fielder will probably have 700 home runs in a couple years. The point is, I love baseball the way it used to be...but you have to get with the times. Just face it...change is inevitable, and you should probably just go ahead and embrace it.

Second, let Bonds play in the damn game. The stupid thing doesn't even count anyway..despite what Fox crams down your throat. So Barry takes the spot of some 3rd string pitcher from the Mets. Big flippin deal. Give him his one damn day and let it go. Bud Selig? Seriously.

Major League baseball is nothing but a spectacle built around the greatest sport ever created. Unfortunately, charging fans 8 bucks to download a screen saver is more important to them than actually sitting back in the summertime, and watching the chess match unfold between two teams that are the top level of that sport on a global scale.

And steroids? Of course they ruined the game and made records obsolete. But aren't there bigger things to worry about. More important things would include say, some 17 year old kid in southern Missouri who the Huskers are about to pick up because Jeremy Crabtree likes his "size and skill" as well as pictures of him with his shirt off? Pretty soon, baseball is going to go the way of hockey anyway, and the only thing worth discussing from February through August is going to be high school recruiting. At that point, the 8 bucks Major League Baseball wants from me to buy a Royals screensaver download will be dwarfed by the twenty bucks a month I would have to spend to send Phil Steele's kids to college.

Kick my face in when that day comes.

Enjoy your pre-holiday weekend. Try not to blow your hands off in the process.