April 16, 2008

As the Kool Aid Flows....

God I hate Spring. Not that I miss the cold, or the crappy clouds and depressing brown landscape that goes with it, but if it’s going to warm up…can we at least do without the wind?

Anyhow, speaking of wind, I figured I’d fill you in on a side conversation I had the other day with my good friend Husker Mike. Now if you read Mike’s blog, you’ll know that he isn’t exactly known for his Kool-Aid keg stands, or his Mountainberry Beer Bongs. It is also a fact that (for the most part) Mike and others like him saw through the absolute sham that Bill Callahan was, and I have acknowledged this on several occasions. I give him credit for this on many occasions.

However, now that the GRF™ dust has started to settle, I’m beginning to notice a new type of solidarity making its way through the Husker ranks. (Including the bloggers who cover them.) This is not your normal Husker solidarity and fortitude, that backs you into a corner in a fit of rage anytime you don’t wholeheartedly agree that the 95 Huskers weren’t the greatest team of all time. (They weren’t.) But this is a bit more subtle, a bit more quiet. And now, it’s not just the whack jobs that are falling under its spell.

Enter Joe Ganz, the next big Husker superstar that has been handed the gold crown without remotely proving anything on the field. This would not be a big deal to me, or entirely unexpected, if not for the CONSTANT and sustained backlash at one J.C. Keller. You remember J.C. don’t you? That wonderboy backup of a Pac-10 powerhouse that was going to ride into Lincoln, throw a Heisman in his locker, and ride out of town as the greatest Husker QB since Tommy Frazier galloped behind a roided up line of hog mollies in 1995.

Now I don’t expect you people NOT to jump on Ganz’s back and anoint him the second coming of J.C. (Which I’m not sure what that would make him.), because let's be honest...we've seen this before from you. However, I’m absolutely dumbfounded by the complete and total disdain for past lessons that are (obviously) not sinking in with you people.

OK, Joe Ganz threw for 16 TD’s over the last three plus games of the season. And yes, J.C. threw for only 14 in the previous eight, and needless to say..had his struggles and had to deal with a complete buffoon in offensive coordinator Shawn Watson. (Who is replaced this year by buffoon offensive coordinator, Shawn Watson) But what does this stat and the blind faith that goes with it, really mean?

Well for one, Ganz didn’t have to play USC, Missouri or a majority of the Texas game. He didn't play on the road at Wake, or in either of the home debacles against A&M or Okie State. The Three games he DID start, he faced the #73 and #89 passing defenses in the country in KSU and Colorado. And the KU team (with a statistically bloated passing D ranking of 12th) he faced was up by 40 points throughout most of the game. Think they were going to open the playbook up a bit at that point? Also, do I need to mention that the KU game was pretty much the only time when Mo Purify actually played like the hyped up All-American you claimed that he was?

Throwing garbage touchdowns against horrible pass defenses while down by double digits isn’t exactly a good way to guarantee greatness is it? Especially if your ridiculously wild expectations toward the last QB you backed didn’t exactly turn out the way you thought? (Although I pretty much nailed it.)

I realize it’s easy to blame all of your problems on the nearest (Billy)scapegoat, which in this case is a former NFL coach who ran off with several million bucks worth of your hard earned farm subsidy dollars, just two months after you re-signed him to a contract. But why is it so damn difficult for you people to see these sort of things? Why is Joey Ganz suddenly the answer to your problems, despite the fact that he started a whopping THREE games and ran a pass-oriented system that your coaches have already pledged to scrap?

I know this overabundance of faith is an issue in these parts…BELIEVE ME I do. But when normally level-headed pundits like Husker Mike start buying into theory and hope, rather than looking at the facts..then it might be time for you to panic. Well…not that you have anything to lose, which we’ve proven long ago that you don’t. But still, I think your last voice of reason just left the building.

Something to think about as you start making your reservations for Kansas City in early December.

** Much is being made of the whole stadium debate in Omaha, which now has shifted focus to the much maligned Omaha Royals. It seems the Royals and their expert management are now toying with the thought of leaving town, as not to get “stuck” with the burden of playing in a 140 million dollar, state of the art stadium.

Now, I’m not about to get into the issues revolving around the Omaha Royals…far from it, because even I don’t care about them. But you have to admire the balls it takes to tell the city, “No thanks…we don’t want to play in your nice modern stadium.”

Over the past 8 years or so, the team formerly known as the Golden Spikes have taken bad marketing to a new level. Slashing their ad budget, and increasing their dizzy bat race and frozen T-shirt race budget…the out-of-town management has about as much of an idea of how Omaha fans think, as I do breaking down the Pakistan cricket League.

People here don’t give a damn about dizzy bat races. They don’t care of the Blues Brothers show up to entertain them. People here certainly don’t care if you play the kiss-cam on the scoreboard 4 times a night. No, the people here are arrogant enough to think of themselves as the big leagues. In order to win them over, you have to make them think that they’re watching the big leagues. If that includes playing in a $140 million dollar ballpark that is ¼ full, then so be it.

I thought these guys were idiots when they killed Casey the mascot and replaced him with some big fat giant purple lump of fur that looks like Grimace from the old McDonalds commercials. But if they turn down this opportunity…then they deserve to slink out of town with a giant failure behind them.

And yes…this coming from a guy who hate the College World Series too.

You better listen to me Alan.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it how you Tigger fans get all worked up when you see talent. Joe Ganz is a threat to you and I love it!


7:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously Anon? Ganz??? HAHAHAHA. I'm more concerned catching a disease from those Lincoln girls than I am of Joe Ganz tossing the skin around.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's obviously going to be the 1st team all conference QB. I can't believe everyone can't see this.


8:04 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

Far be it from me to defend MU. But I highly doubt the team with a returning Heisman Trophy canidate is scared of Ganz.

So what's the over/under on number of games before Pelini has a post game meltdown? And I'm not talking about the scripted 'Mike Gundy Style' of outburst.

I'd say its about 8 games before he goes Clark Griswald and gets a pellet gun.

8:04 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I love approving stuff like that first reply.

It's what keeps me going.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

WTF? I'm drinking the kool aid? I don't think so.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Husker Mike is just blinded by the return of the great and completely-moral former ethics teacher named Tom Osborne.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big Head, I'd be more worried about those girls at Razzle than the coeds in Lincoln.

Also, anon I admire your high expectations of Ganz, I want him to do that well too, but you and I both know he has a lot of work cut out for him to make 1st team all-conference.

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear :Asshole Jackoff (AJ),

Nice to see returning to fine form. This must be your "Spring Season" too.

Have you visited the various Colorado Buffalo Sites. Looks like they have all sorts of problems with their team getting into trouble. Some CU fans are even hoping the students do not show up for the spring game and "just stay in their dorm rooms and smoke themselves into a coma".

And you always have to be a beast of self promotion and hammer on the Huskers when they really have not stepped on their own dicks "yet". This has to F*%k with your mind in the long run!

One more thing.... I do find it interesting Memorial Stadium will be packed with Husker fans this weekend. How many "rabid" Tiger fans will (or did) take the opportunity to see the next "National Champion"?


The Spring AJ8er

11:56 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I was going to deny Mike's comment...(just to be a dick)...but I felt bad for blindsiding him yesterday.

Please visit Mike's site. Although he's wrong on this one...he usually makes some valid points.

Oh, and to the guy bragging on spring game attendance...thank you for making my point.

8:11 AM  
Blogger doombob said...

Great scott. I'd love to see some of the comments you don't approve.

8:20 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Well, to be honest, I've declined MAYBE 5 total comments in the 3+ years of running this blog.

Oftentimes, it's my best example of the ridiculousness of Husker fans.

The only thing I would disapprove is something directly threatening to an individual, racist etc or things like that. Everything else? Fire away.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why wouldn't you approve the comments? They do your job for you. The crazy ones who post on this site are great caricatures.

Never underestimate the ability of the Husker fan base to assume 10000000% of things are going to break their way. "But it has too, our tradition says it should."

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the 'girls' at the Razzle are like similar to Mr. Burns from The Simpsons...They have so many virusus that they all cancel each other out and cannot affect you.

I'm not speaking for experience though...wink wink.

And I think I know who you are Anon; Sammy Vegas??

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a new reader to this blog, but I love it! Don't get me wrong, I'm a Husker supporter through and through, but when there are blogs that are dedicated to hating the Huskers, that's a clear sign that we have something not many other teams in this nation have.

Not to mention, for someone to hold this much resentment towards a team and actually spend time frequently blogging about that team and the hatred towards it, kind of legitimizes the supporters love for the team.

Thank you for keeping us Husker fans on our toes and keep 'em coming!

6:56 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

No problem..thanks for reading. And yes, that's exactly why I've contemplated shutting this place down and starting a Baylor hating blog.

But alas, it will take more than a few crappy seasons to beat you all down, so I shall continue.

Welcome again.

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, Big Head, I'm not Sammy. I just enjoy your work over at DXP and wanted to note that for those that have "danced with the devil on a pale moon night" (i.e. Razzle 'women') those sweet innocent probably disease free coeds in L-town are the least of your worries.

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rumor is HuskerMike has a 9 incher?? At least that what I have read...

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ...As usual you PUPPY you can't admit Ganz has talent. Not his fault Cally couldn't see it. He is a top 5 dual threat QB in the country, just look at his production you PUPPY.

7:54 PM  
Blogger AJ said...


Please use more code words when trying to insult me. It makes you look that much most smarter.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Eric said...

I think Ganz is better than Keller, but that's not saying much. There are definitely kool-aid drinkers out there, but I don't think HuskerMike is one.

That said, MU by 21 in Lincoln this fall.

BTW, you just don't have the same level of vitriol, and seem to be working to manufacture it. That's okay, because it means the boys of corn are irrelevant.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as always AAAAA.J. you cant admit the truth. The Huskers will be back and it kills you!!! We got the hot prospect coach and now you see the light but can't admit it.


6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the writers at SI are drinking Husker Kool-Aid too. Just read "Husker Lost Husker Found". What a bunch of schmaltzy baloney.

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm actually over at Mizzourah.net, not DXP. DXP is a great blog though...even if it is pro-Huskers. I'll banter back and forth with Jeffie, Rose, and SV. Similar sense of humor between our blogs, so it's all good.

Plus, it's one of the few Non-Kool Aid Husker blogs, along with Husker Mike's.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How long did it take for some corn fucker to rip off an old tired add and throw Bo Peep's name in as a pathetic attempt to show prowess, and relevance?

"Got Bo"? Are you fucking kidding me? Of course not, you think you're clever.
Is Husker Hounds selling "Bo Knows" shirts yet?

Wait wait, don't answer that, now I'm the one being retarded.

I really don't miss you hypocritical fucks.

Eat a dick.

Dr. Buffenstien.

10:23 AM  

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