March 13, 2008

Mid-Season Form

So Missouri and Nebraska are playing a post-season basketball game for the right to get throttled by Choke-U, and I don’t even care. I’m not sure if I’m just totally burned out on bashing Nebraska, or if I’m actually numb about Nebraska and Missouri being two of the worst basketball teams in the Big 12. When I was a kid, the Tigers had some incredible teams, and hell, even the Hicks had a ½ decent team from time to time. (When they completely fell apart in the first round every single time..but that’s besides the point). Will EITHER of these teams EVER be remotely good again? It's brutal to watch and I refuse to do it.

Anyway, finally got a few things to write about as it’s been a pretty hectic week.

* First, lots of e-mails and friends asking me why I haven’t bashed this Christensen kid for being a possible felon and sex predator. Look, I may be a monster and one of the most vile and evil people in the sports Internet commentary business…..but I’m not about to go mocking some girl getting sexually assaulted by some freak-ass football player. I mean, it's still somebody's daughter and/or sister we're talking about who will probably be scarred for a long long time. (allegedly)

Look, eventually I’m going to add this guy to the never-ending list of Husker criminals and deviants that have been Gods to you people at one time or another. And I’m also going to condone any and all verbal and printed assaults on this kid (if he’s convicted). However, the nature of this crime is so awful, that it’s really not even worth mentioning….at least not yet.

What is worth mentioning is well beyond the simple fact that apparently this guy can’t either a) hold his liquor or b) score with chicks on his own as an NU football player that he has to go out and assault one. Now again, he is innocent until proven guilty, but let the record show this is somewhat of a pattern for your players over the years.

Also worth mentioning is the fact that SOMEBODY posted $50,000 worth of bail for this guy and that person was never mentioned. Hmmmmmm….wonder who that could have been? His family? A local bail-bond shop? Perhaps a local booster? Look, Tom Osborne isn’t an idiot. (boring and hypocritical…but not an idiot…although he was an idiot for going for 2 against Miami in 84, but that’s besides the point.) Tom Osborne knows how to cover this stuff up, and for anybody to be shocked or outraged about the money falling from the sky to bail this kid out is kidding themselves. (And no, NOBODY is shocked or outraged…they simply let it float under the rug like any other Husker run-in with the law). That’s OK, I’m sure some local TV reporter is going to risk the one good gig he has all year worth a crap to expose the truth about the Husker mystery bondsman.

Yeah right.

Another thing worth watching is King Bo himself. It’s one thing to talk tough and say you’re going to lay down the law…it’s quite another to go ahead and do it. Besides…wasn’t it your last coach who promised to get down to the truth and lay down the law against Mo Purify? And what did Mo get for punishment? A couple of extra laps and an afternoon off against a barely 1A team? I’ve been there and seen that. Dazzle me with actions…not words. Then, I’ll let it be.

* For the love of God and all things Holy, stop talking about this hooker from New York. She’s a whore…literally. I realize stuff happens, people come from broken homes and blah blah blah. But Entertainment Tonight should NOT be talking about this chick and her music career. (And no, I’m not joking…it was actually reported that some shitty single of hers was going to be released as a single. If that doesn’t tell you how far pop culture is in this country…nothing will.)

This girl (and the scumbag, lying hypocritical piece of shit she banged for 8 grand) needs to go away and go away fast. Next thing you know, girls are going to shoot for being extra slutty and skanky, just to further their careers and….ehhh….OK…nevermind.

* The Rosenblatt saga continues this week, with another group of frustrated and bored geeks, pulling signatures together to impeach the Mayor of Omaha. Apparently these people either have no education or social skills whatsoever…or they just having a raging ink fetish.

Does anybody in that camp have any idea what they’re doing? Don’t’ they realize the NCAA will knee them in the junk and hustle on out of town in about 3 seconds? Are there people out there REALLY this butt-ass stupid? I mean….that’s like somebody petitioning the government to make them dump more pollution into the Missouri river. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

* Tune in next week when I pretend what I WOULD HAVE DONE had I had the opportunity to buy NCAA basketball tourney tickets at the Qwest Center. FORTUNATELY for me, Bruce Rassmussen and the rest of the Creighton athletic department were kind enough to spare me the agony of spending $53 bucks a session and are letting me spend quality time at home with my family.

Thanks Bruce, we’re so lucky to have you.



Anonymous Bama Joe said...

Hi AJ,

I'm a long time reader, but first-time poster...guess I never had a need to comment...too much fun reading what everyone else has to say. I'm a displaced Alabama fan living in Corn Land (Omaha metro)...been here for eight years, so I've seen and heard enough to know that what you preach is the gospel. I have a photo that I'd need to send’s a PERFECT representation of how Husker Fan views Nebraska and the rest of the country. So (trying not to sound like a stalker), how can I email something to you? I promise - no spam, viruses, or annoying daily (hourly?) “Huskers Rule” messages. I’m a brother-in-arms in your war.

If you’d like to email me first, please use It’s the alternate email that I use for stuff like this in order to avoid my own stalkers.

Roll Tide.

Bama Joe

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Serious question... Does your wife know that you are gay?

3:08 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

I love it when Husker fans complain that they're not hicks and backwoods, then immediately go to the very cosmopolitan gaybashing card.

Good stuff

PS - We'll be in touch Joe

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear "Serious Question" Annonymous:

Does yours?

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't bash gays... I asked if your wife knows that you are gay.

10:30 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

At least if you were gaybashing it would be more creative

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not trying to be creative. It is a straight forward question. I wonder if your kids will hate you for your lies about your sexuality.

1:03 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Good one

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi douche,

way to talk shit about Michigan then ban my friend for posting on your little sausage fest board. You cornholers are some weirdos. Starting fights at the stadium too. haha you pussys can dish it out but you can't take it.

Can you say 12-2 in 2 games? WOW YOU SUCK!

5:13 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

1) I've nearly been banned there about 50 times myself. Trust me, I have no pull.
2) You have no friends.
3) Your friend (if he is in fact your friend) is a douche.
4) I didn't even know they played.

Trust me...I can dish it out, and I don't even need to mock you about a loss to Appalachain State to do it.

Should you even have bragging rights though if you're good in a sport that only has like 36 other teams in it? And half of them are Mercyhurst and Bemidji.

Personally, I think it's funny as hell you had to actually find a way to spout off and claim victory.

I went to one game this year're pissing up the wrong tree.

9:17 PM  
Anonymous Bama Joe said...


did you forget about me? C'mon man, open up a temp Yahoo account or something...I've gotta send you this picture.

Bama Joe

4:19 PM  

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