February 27, 2008

The (banjo) Music of the Night

The winter of silence continues, and at this point the noise is deafening. Does Nebraska even HAVE a football team anymore? You know things are bad when I don’t get daily updates on recruits, game recaps from 1983 or what (insert player) bench pressed during off-season workouts. Yes, the world is a lonely place now. Time has stopped, as the once poor have truly inherited the earth.

Meanwhile, many of you toil in a dark underworld lair, where only your deepest thoughts, fears and some old VHS cassettes of the 1994 Orange Bowl lurk. Just about any minute now, I’m expecting some guy at work to come flying through a meeting with a red cape, flowing red pants and ½ of a white mask, as a giant chandelier falls to the ground. (What, you don’t have chandelier’s where you work?)

So alas, since this blog is much less local anymore…I must stretch my brain to find things you all want to hear about. However, after a long weekend and another winter blast (up yours Jim Flowers)…I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve blatantly gotten away from the real reason I write this blog….to vent. Oh sure, the constant material is much harder to find. During conference calls, people don’t stop in mid discussion and talk about the Power I formation. And no, when I walk into a grocery store these days, the store PA system no longer has the Nebraska coaches show “spring football special” on.

So in the spirit of that, I will not be stretching my mind to find a new angle to tell you how much Nebraska football sucks. You know they suck. I know they suck. Hell, most of them even know they suck. (By them I mean the players…I don’t mean the fans, they’re still myopic and delusional.) So I was thinking; what I need to get back to is the overwhelming stench of hate that used to permeate out of this website. I need to go back and find that biting vitriol that once dominated the conversation.

With that…I caught a couple of interesting tidbits around this week, as I try to awake from my winter-induced coma of non-news around Husker football. OK, maybe not “interesting” as in…”Hey kids, look at the Grand Canyon!” interesting. More like, “Hey kids, that guy on the side of the road is on fire” interesting.

* Thanks to Husker Mike for writing about this sugar-coated hack job in the New York Times a couple of days ago. Bad enough I have to be witness to the slobbery man-love you have with Tom Osborne and most of all..yourselves. But now, apparently the country’s popular newspaper in one of the most influential cities in the world knows about it too.

Forgive me for playing devil’s advocate here…but if I’m Joe New Yorker, getting off of the train, hopping in my car, taking the BQE over toward the Bronx…and sitting down with the Times in my 5th floor apartment after a tough day…I’m probably not looking to read about Bo Pelini and the fact that you people love him. In fact, I’m quite sure this was an East Coast and more subtle version of TJ Simers of the LA Times. You remember TJ don’t you? The guy who mocked Husker fans for three full weeks right before USC came and ass-rammed your team in front of a national TV audience?

Seriously, from a journalistic perspective…what is the point? Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

- Bo Pelini is beloved.
- Tom Osborne likes to live in the past
- Apparently the Nebraska High School Athletic Association is growing some real KICK ASS football players in high school these days, because apparently (even though they're not good enough for a scholarship) some of them are really really good.

So according to many of you just a year or so ago it was passing that wins championships. Then it was an NFL pedigree. Now it’s Walk ons that apparently hold the key? Have you ever SEEN a Nebraska High School football game? If you haven’t, picture 22 boy band members….skinny and whiter than sour cream, running so slow they look underwater…pretending to act ghetto and gangster as they tackle another, slightly slower pale ass skinny kid from some other po-dunk town in the middle of nowhere.

I once made this argument back in the height of the Callahan glory days, and was given this excuse. “Walk ons don’t mean shit. Was Tommie Frazier from Nebraska? Was Lawrence Phillips? Christian Peter? Will Shields? All of which were from outside the state. We recruit national now.”


Yet another example of desperation meets arrogance. Can’t wait to see what the next end-all key to victory is. (1985 Delorean set to the mid 1990’s not withstanding)

* It’s been MONTHS without a Husker arrest, and I’m starting to get worried. Back in the day when you were hoisting trophies over your head, and carrying coaches off the field (spring games from 2004 don’t count)…you used to have guys land in the clink just about every week or two. And now? Nothing.

If you’re going to get back into the limelight…if you’re going to catch people attention…you need to stay away from articles about Tom Osborne visiting a nursing home in Grand Island, and starting getting back to what you do best: Smacking women in bars and driving while all liquored up.

Seriously, I’m about to start reading “Diary of a Husker” if things don’t start picking up around here soon.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damnit, I hate all this agreeing with you crap. I also felt a little perplexed as to why THE Times decided to run a story like this. I don't know the college football lanscape of the East Coast that well, but I would doubt the 'Skers are high on their watch lists (by the way why are Big 12 b-ball games being shown on YES these days? Anybody?).

The article could have read: "Nebraskans love football and winning football coaches. The End." Granted, I thought the story was nice and informative, but I really don't see what the Times was after with that story.

10:56 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Pretty easy point to see. I mean, there is absolutely nothing in there that even the most out-of-touch fan doesn't already know.

Husker fans love their team and Tom Osborne.

Whoopie doo.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You still have delusional fans out there in Nubville AJ. Here's a sampling from one of them on the Rivals national board:

"I'm gonna be that ass that shuts down everyones little parade. There are only 5 teams in the whole nation currently who have any chance to become National Powers and they are as followed,

Florida State
Notre Dame

thats it, nobody else will rise up. There is a reason for the past 30 damn years the only teams in the nation who have been claimed National Powers have always been the same teams. There is a reason why so-so programs may have had a cute little 3-4 year run than stumbled there way right back to being a team that wins 7-8 games a year. "

He's right about one thing. He is an ass.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ - With The Doctor firmly in control again, the police are under strict supervision to make sure they don't harass the players when they beat their girlfriends and rob 7-11's. Restoring the Order is going to be a community wide effort so true Husker fans know that they need to do their part by understanding that boys will be boys and they can't be distracted by consequences when they get drunk and drive through schools after a hard practice. I imagine if an arrest occurs it will be a big one and Bo will act swiftly and suspend the player for the 1st play of the spring game to send a message.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I come here to see if all your practice at writing has become better. It hasn't. You're still a shitty writer that can't punctuate properly or get your thoughts across in a clear manner.

I've been looking for your commentary about Mizzou basketball, but curiously, nothing.

4:32 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Well obviously your reading skills aren't very good either...considering the football team won 12 games, and I devoted all of 2 posts to them.

Apparently the "I don't want this to be a Mizzou cheerleading blog" thing that I mention 900 times a year didn't quite sink in with you. If you would like to read more on MU basketball, click on the "Rock M Nation" button on the right side of the screen. (With the left "clicker" button on your mouse...which is that thing you use to move the little arrow around).

PS - Go fuck yourself

7:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you don't like NEBRASKA then leave! Who is your team? Tell me! Don't be scared. You are obviously madd because the skers whipped you and your team for so many years. By the way we cherish the past not live in it thats how tradition is built, which obviously you or your team don't have. But hay theres always Lacross or Polo!

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To add to my previous comment!!!! Yeah your right about those NEB HS games, A. Green and Ken Clark both from Omaha sure were white and slow! Or is that your cataracts acting up? Your profile says your 251 yrs old ha! ha! ha! thats real mature. About as mature as those 1 year programs like mu and ku, but hey who am I to tell you! You know all about traditions and championships like the ignorance you express about NU walk-ons who by the way kicked your ass all those years huh! Yeah, your a bright one. Hey buddy why don't you win a few more games and more than the North(1 time ha ha) before you blast us. I mean dammn dude! even callahan won the north so don't get too excited you little runt. Oh! and play somebody in non conference pleeeaaassssee!

4:35 PM  

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