The 1995 Column
Somewhere, in some crazy and whacked out way, you might be like me, and actually be rooting for the Hick nation to ride high again. Oh not to 1995 levels or anything like that (Still the most overrated football team of all time. Yeah, I said it…), but just to the point where you clowns actually think you mean anything to anybody. Trust me, you don't..and I should know...I'm the last one left.
Radio hosts aside, I think it’s pretty safe that the rest of us…and I do speak for the rest of us…are mocking you with kidlike glee, as we watch the neighborhood bully get throttled time and time again. Yes, you are the Scott Farkas of college football, and that won’t be changing anytime soon…no matter how many unqualified hot-headed assistants you hire and anoint as pope of all things red. Nowhere to go but up from here regardless.
Here’s a question for those of you into such things…since we’re knee-deep in it during this time of year: Has there ever been a BAD report by the guys at rivals about a team's recruiting class? Think about it. Every single time…no matter what recruiting expert is on the radio…everybody is just THIS close to really making it a “best ever class”. Every “3 star” guy is really making strides in the weight room, and every single program is “right there” when it comes to picking up the one guy that is going to lift up an entire fan base.
I will say this once again…I have nothing against Rivals or the people who work hard for them. There is a market, and that shit takes a lot of work. I get that. I respect that. But how freaking hard is it to figure out that you’re being sold guesswork and hope? And if you take this stuff way too seriously...trust me...you don't want to rely on hope. One of my favorite quotes from high school fits very well in this situation, from a famous Missourian.
“Hope is the last bastion of the damned” – Mark Twain
I don’t see it as much by the local/team writers…in fact for the most part, the guys I read are very straight up and forthcoming with their information. But Christ alive, if I have to hear Tom Lemming or Jeremy Crabtree one more time tiptoe and dance around a question from a fan like, “I’m a huge McNeese State fan, what does their recruiting class look like for next year?” I’m going to lose it.
Why? Because you know what the answer will be. In fact, I found the script that they use. It goes like this the second the radio caller hangs up. “ (fill in team name) is really hitting the recruiting trail hard, and I like what (head coach’s name) and his staff have done this off season. Sure they don’t get the same hype as (insert traditional power here), but they’re really doing a nice job this season.”
Meanwhile, in the next 2 to 3 years, McNeese goes 2-10 and 1-11 while getting beat by Uconn by 60.
I don’t get it. I’ll never get it..and if you can explain it to me..I’m all ears. Viva la Capitalism.
Finally, I’m not sure if you caught this the other night, but stupid-ass VH1 had another one of their addicting “Greatest ____ songs of the ____” shows on. Now as you know, I’m a pretty big music guy. In fact, there are only three things I know anything about on this earth. 1) Hating the Huskers. 2) fishing and 3) 80’s and 90’s music.
Perhaps you caught the pathetically predictable “Smells like Teen Spirit” atop their number one spot. Perhaps you were like me and rolled your eyes, as you think back to the early 90’s where only stoners and burnouts listened to Nirvana, and everybody else started listening to them about 30 minutes after Kurt Loader proclaimed Kurt Cobain our generation’s Elvis.
Cobain was a great musician and was a pioneer at his genre..but Pearl Jam was around and mainstream before Nirvana. Hell, Sponge of all bands hit big with Plowed, which is way more grunge and way more kick ass than anything Nirvana came up with.
Anyhow, because it’s late January, and there is nothing to do but count the Creighton choke jobs week in and week out, I figured I would give my own top 10 songs of the 90’s. And no, I’m not including lame ass songs like “Ice Ice Baby” or “I want it That way” or “Damn I wish I was your girl.”
That stuff sucked Yak balls.
I’m talking real music that people without furby’s and jelly shoes actually listened to. And if you don’t like it? Well screw you…my blog, my top 10. (And per the lame VH1 rules, no band can have more than one song…which explains why ‘Fastball’..the shittiest band on earth, actually made the top 100)
#10 – “What’s the Frequency Kenneth” by R.E.M.
I’m not going to lie…I don’t really like R.E.M…too freaky and weird for me. But no song of the 90’s had a better first 3 chords than this one. The sign of a true band is writing a song so good you ignore the fact that you hate them.
#9 - “Volcano Girls” by Veruca Salt
No group of girls anywhere in any era rocked harder than Veruca Salt on this song. I’m not sure what it was, but good lord they rocked. Maybe it was all the swear words and hair flying around?
#8 - “Creep” by Radiohead
VH1 royally screwed Radiohead by placing this way way too low. Gotta love a song that so depressing, yet so demented and hard that it just rattles through your brain for years and years.
#7 - “Mable” by Goldfinger
No band anywhere on the planet puts on a better kick-ass live show than Goldfinger when they’re on. 900mph, bodies flying everywhere, sweat and blood. 'Mable' defined fast and loud modern punk pop and launched one of the great punk bands of our era.
#6 - “What I Got” by Sublime
This song will never ever get old. Not this year. Not next year. Not ever. It’s impossible to listen to and not imagine yourself pimping through Long Beach in your El Camino blasting Sublime. You couldn’t go 20 feet in the late 90’s and not hear somebody blasting it in southern California.
#5 – “Damnit” by Blink 182
Blink 182 turned real annoying really really fast. But before they hit mainstream, they were catchy, furious and loud. Damnit was ramped up about 4 gears higher than any other song of it’s time. Unfortunately, time and ego did them in. But damn that song kicked ass.
#4 - “Sleep Now in the Fire” by Rage Against the Machine
No song anywhere during any moment in time makes you want to burn down your house or smash a sledgehammer through your own windshield like Rage. A sound that has yet to be remotely duplicated,
#3 - “Machinehead” by Bush
They were gone as fast as they hit, but no song signified college rock like Machinehead. Raspy, loud and harsh, Machinehead was the air guitar anthem of Spring Break 1994. (If you weren’t in Padre with us…well…tough.)
#2 - “Pride” by U2
U2 could have about 30 songs on that VH1 top 100 and yes…’One’ was a great tune. But good lord, Pride played live in concert made the hairs stand up on your neck. Bono may be an attention starved douche, but nobody can compare in longevity and creativity with the times like U2.
#1 - “Basket Case” by Green Day
A lot of people hate Green Day. Hell, some days I really don’t like Green Day either. But no song and no sound reverberated through my spine like the Oakland punk sound of the early 90’s. Basket Case is often thought of as the song that sold out the band..and that may be true. But there are maybe 3 songs in my life I remember where I was when I first heard it..and this is one. If you haven’t seen it performed live?.....well…take a look and see what I mean. Ahhh..those were the days.