January 23, 2008

Ink to Paper

You had to know something was going to flare up the once-hot-now-not “rivalry” between Nebraska and Missouri.

For those of you who were not living on the International Space Station last summer, I will remind you of day after day and week after week of sniping, griping, bickering and yelping between the two fan bases. Message boards, radio shows, fan sites, my 10:30 update meetings…it doesn’t matter where it was…Nebraska and Missouri fans were simply unable to share any sort of anticipated spotlight. The gleam was too great, and the egos too big. The new kids on the block were unable to give an inch, as the nostalgic Husker fans held their ground and counter attacked.

Then in early October, the Huskers were prison raped by 36 points in Columbia, fired their coach, their savior returned to no avail and they became one of 5 teams in Division 1 that didn’t get invited to a bowl game.

After all that, the “rivalry” went pretty much stagnant for the better part of 3 months.

Yet, off in the distance, you can hear the bugle call once again. Husker fans who have been shunned to the outskirts of the village, have quietly attempted to re-organize and counter attack. Slowly…cautiously, under the watchful eye of a new National Championship caliber coach (yes, I heard this today), the Hick nation has grabbed the bottom rope and attempted to trudge back on their feet before the 8 count. (or in this case...80 count)

What caused the sudden rise in Husker patriotism? Another National Championship? A huge win over a ranked team? Another title in a minor sport that nobody cares about? Nope.

They kept a single recruit that was already committed...to themselves.


If this is what it takes to get NU fans back into a tizzy, what the hell is it going to be like in August, after about 8 months of slow and steady myopia and self-medicating analysis? (“You know..if Lucky puts on 20lbs, and Franz Hardy grows 9 inches and our defensive backfield suddenly is replaced by 4 Champ Bailey clones…we might be pretty good next year.) No, this is what passes for excitement in Lincoln these days. After decades of 10 win seasons, 586 bowl games in a row and 77,000 obese globs of Caucasian dough jammed into their shitty gray stadium for the umpteenth straight game….THIS is what passes for a victory.

Now, I’m not about to breakdown a single recruit, or really any recruit for that matter. You know my stance on this by now, and in order to put it gently, I will break it down slowly one more time. One single player does not matter. Two single players do not matter. Is it nice to get a guy who may be able to help out right away? Sure. Is it great to steal a player from a “rival’s” backyard? Absolutely.

But if you’re wishing and hoping this kid is going to start for you next year…shouldn’t you be a bit concerned that your own talent level is so crappy, that you’re considering pushing in a true freshman in the first place? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose? I mean, there are obvious exceptions in college sports like Adrian Pederson and Carmello Anthony. Both played as freshman at an extremely high level. But how often does that happen?

The point is, who cares? I certainly don’t. So why the multiple paragraphs? Well apparently, there is a little bit more to the story than just the re-commitment of a former recruit.

Apparently Beau and his 8 disciples visited Will Compton at his home last weekend. Big deal you say? Sure, it’s a bit strange that the entire defensive coaching staff came calling…but when you give up 141 combined points to Colorado and Kansas the year before..you get desperate. I get that…a little.

So would one of you sick bastards like to tell me why it was reported (By Compton himself on Omaha radio today) that one of the assistant coaches had, “his name tattooed to his forearm, right next to a Husker blackshirt logo”? Anybody want to take a shot?

I’m not going to lie to you..I’ve seen you people do some whack ass shit in my day. I’ve seen linebackers go crazy and run down the street naked. (Only to get shot by the cops.) I’ve seen kicked balls, guys with their stuffed autograph rat at games, I’ve seen broadcasters CRY after baseball regionals. I’ve seen grown men and women throw tantrums in a grocery store to express their displeasure. But THIS however…may take the cake.

I think the reason I find it so disturbing and creepy is that there is really no way you can spin it. If the coach was joking and the tat was temporary (which SURELY it was right?)…is that even funny? Aren’t you supposed to build relationships with them? I mean, did they break into song while they were there? Did they do a skit? And if he WASN’T joking around…was that actually supposed to impress him? (Even if it apparently did). What kid in their right mind wouldn’t find that at the very least, disturbing and sad?

The crazy thing is…if this is one thing that leaks out…what the hell goes on around the country that you DON’T hear about?

Now don’t get me wrong..I don’t’ completely blame Beau and company for doing whatever they had to do to get this kid. I mean hell…they’re desperate. This isn’t rocket science. However, you have to scratch your head a little bit when this guy pulls a stunt like this and already has a bit of a reputation for being a childish hothead. I mean..did Joe Paterno walk into Todd Blackledge’s house in the late 70’s and rip open his shirt to find a giant drawing of him and 72 virgins on an olive branch?

What the hell is wrong with you people? And yes..the blame is not just on Pelini. It stretches across the spectrum, all the way up to the belly of the gigantic monstrous beast that has been created by the internet that is now known as modern college football recruiting. It’s bad enough fans are actually CALLING THE SCHOOLS that these kids go to find out what their schedule is…but when does it end?

But then again, even if adding body ink to yourself guarantees a rise of a few points in your defensive rankings…you have to figure Beau and company are going to be looking like Mike Tyson by the time order is restored.

Amazing, even by your standards. Can't wait to see what you do next.


Anonymous Brad Burgess said...

Will there be at least one Nebraska fan who will be stand up enough to admit that the staff went completely crazy with the body art, and the "tell Will anything to keep him in the fold," mentality this past weekend? Anybody? Anybody? Buehler?

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is truly sick, what kind of a wacko would do that? Can you say creepy pedophile?

1:19 AM  
Anonymous merlin said...

Does having another dudes name tattooed on your arm signify anything special in knebraska? Are these 2 going to wind up together permanently?

3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear crickets...

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Now you are a Pelini basher. The guy has not even coached one game yet as head coach for Nebraska.

Like I said before, you really need to take some time off. It will do you good, and by then you "will" have some good material to write and bitch about.


7:43 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

A Pelini hater? WTF did you think I was going to say about him? He's the coach at Nebraska. He's a nothing assistant that just happened to coach a 2 loss team in the BCS title game. (For the Record, Matt Eberflus at Missouri also coached defense at a 2 loss school that won their bowl game.)

that's just stupid.

Oh..not as stupid as when people look at comments and don't see any (because I haven't approved them) and say "I hear crickets." Meanwhile, between midnight at 7am, there are already 6 replies.

Brilliant one there.

7:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Franky baby. BoPeep has already been a head coach at Nebraska for 1 game. Get your facts straight. Glad you don't see how creepy what was done is. This must be the typical Nuhbraska way.

Cricket, cricket. Cricket, cricket.


8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Personally I am thinking about making a trip up to Lincoln & finding 6 drunk husker co eds , have them split a $20 & a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best & have them tatoo "We love AJ !!!!" on their chest.

It is the least I can do to show support for my favorite anti husker blog.

Go Mizzou!!!

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shouldnt you be crafting an email to send to 1620? Where do you find the time?

9:00 AM  
Anonymous AJ RULES! said...

Frank, if you can't see what great material this most desperately, pathetic act is by your coaching staff, you are to be pitied. Oh wait, you live in and root for Nebraska. 'Nuff said.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, you guys are sad. It was a temporary tat. Obviously Will thought it was funny and it must have worked. This is pretty mild in the big picture. I will agree, NU is desperate to get some good "D" players on campus. Compton is a very good prospect and they did what they needed to get him in the fold. I would rather have coaches do goofy stuff to get a commit as opposed to negative recruiting or flat out lying.

Seriously AJ, I read your shit quite often, but this is a reach. I could come up with better crap just listening to 1620 or reading Huskers Illustrated. It is down right sad how some of those ass clowns act.

All of the Mizzou fans keep looking for Husker fans to talk shit, well we can't right now. Much like you haven't been able to for what like 40 years. Ooops, that must have just slipped out. I guess there is a little to say. The only crickets I hear are in your trophy case.

Chirp, chirp, chirp

Two things are for certain, Mizzou will not stay at the top and Nebraska will return. Enjoy while you can becasue it will be short lived. Mizzou is still Mizzou.

1:17 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You lost me after the first damn line.

Don't call him "Will". You're not tight. You're not boyz. You don't "hang" with each other.

THAT is exactly what I'm talking about. STOP CALLING SOME 18 YEAR OLD KID BY HIS FIRST NAME. Besides, odds are if you were 18 and knew him, he probably wouldn't hang out with you anyway.


1:57 PM  
Anonymous A. Rose said...

I'm I the only one that enjoyed watching Drake pull out that OT game against CU the other night......amazing how many Bluejay "fans" throw on the gear for a school that they not only never attended, but didn't even know existed 10 years ago.....if you went to Nebraska and cheer for Creighton when the teams play each other, you are no longer entitled to call yourself a sports fan.....ever.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My only criticism of your most recent post is the use of the term "prison rape". By definition, prison rape is a 42 point spread, not 36. 36 is still in the realm of "ass whooping." Now 63 is a "crack whore beating" and 84 is an "assistant crack whore beating" (since the only job worse than crack whore is assistant crack whore). Otherwise, damn fine piece of journalism.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey douche, I am pretty sure we all know who we are talking about. Should I have said Will Compton? Or maybe WC like the other cool posters on the Husker pages. How about Will C or maybe W Comp. Geezus I hate typing, why waste my time.

Trust me, I think it is pathetic the amount of love most Husker fans give to recruits. Anyone who gets an autograph from a 17 year old high school kid is a wothless bag of skin.

Man you really got me with that shit that Willy Comp wouldn't hang with me. I am still laughing. No seriously, that was good....and very original. I think I spit my soda on my screen. I called everyone over to show them. Damn, that was good. You are one funny man.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous corn blight said...

After reading Bruce Feldman's "Meat Market", nothing about recruiting seems insane. At least it was on his forearm.

Will Compton... welcome to Nebraska!

7:43 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Good point.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Earl T said...

"...shitty grey stadium" ???

That's the best example of neo-Stalinist Mausoleum-style concrete architecture this side of Kiev and don't you forget it!

10:31 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Let the record show, I will always give props for using obscure Russian cities in your replies.


8:06 AM  
Anonymous stldynamite said...

What are the odds he sends will a dozen roses for Valentines Day?

9:49 AM  

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