500

I'm not sure if I'm appalled or proud.

On February 15th, 2005…I decided to take a break from watching college hoops tonight, and spend the 10 minutes necessary to create the very blog you are reading now. Amid zero fanfare and even fewer expectations, I set fourth to explain to the rest of the world, just how insane and outrageous the actions of a single fan base could be. Starting with an idea and a few minutes of free time…the Husker hating movement was born.

500 Columns and nearly three years later, what exactly has changed? Have my words of hatred and disdain made even a dent in how the world sees the greatest fans in college football? Could any expressions of mine prepared you for the idiocy of hundreds of thousands of fans bragging about the West Coast offense…and then 2 months later, declaring it a sham and a crock?

Quite frankly, I’m not really sure what sort of impact my words have had on the collapse of the Husker empire. I have no idea if anything that I have written has resonated with other Big 12 fans and made an impact on how they see the Husker nation. Perhaps you had never dealt with them before and always found them classy and smart? Perhaps the guy in the cubicle next to you went to UNL and won’t stop talking about the 95 Orange Bowl for more than 10 seconds, so you now want to chop his tongue out with a peering knife?

Regardless of the impact of this little corner of cyberspace, let the record show that if nothing else...the sports Gods were certainly listening. Don’t believe me?

Gone is the out of control bandwagon that was Husker baseball. No more do we need to see a sea of Eric Crouch jerseys take over Rosenblatt every June. No more do we have to hear idiots from McCook to South Sioux, talk about the “ins and outs of college baseball”, when their own sorry ass was never good enough to make the room 4 kickball team in grade school. Nope, losses to lower-level commuter colleges are the norm now. Oh well, I guess it was nice while it lasted.

At the time this blog was first published, Husker football was about to declare a renaissance of sorts. After 2004’s abysmal season, Bill Callahan’s crew bounced back with an 8-4 season, including ½ of Bill Callahan’s all time wins over ranked teams. (#23 ranked Iowa State and #20 Michigan). After reaching a crescendo in 2006, this past season saw the bottom drop out, and your hopes and dreams came crashing down with a gigantic thud.

No more do we need to hear about “sophisticated offenses”, or Hollywood quarterbacks with only 8 games more NCAA experience than I have being touted as Heisman trophy candidates. It may be years before we see drunken myopia the likes of which predicted wins over USC in Los Angeles or against a far superior Oklahoma team in Kansas City last year. (The result of a Big 12 North title that was more watered down than the chili at a Pakistani Wendys)

So what’s left to prove?

Is there anything else you people can come up with that will completely dumbfound the rest of the nation, as you have done so to me over the past two decades? Will you people be stupid enough to think Bo Pelini is going to rise you from the ashes and make you relevant again? Are you people that hard-up for success that you’ll believe absolutely anything….like "Barney Cotton is a great fit in guiding your players into battle"? Is ANYBODY that butt-ass ignorant enough to fall for the same joke twice? (The joke being untested coaches being touted as the second coming of Bill Parcels).

Of course you are.

In fact, if I had to bet…I’d say we’re only a single recruiting day away from 99% of you morons being right back in the saddle again…ready to declare the Big 12 North your own once more, and ready to resume talking smack to the likes of Ohio State, Oregon etc. As I stated a few months ago, the ONLY reason I haven’t closed up shop, declared victory and started a fishing blog, is that I know for a fact that you are just DYING to believe again. Desperate times call for desperate measures..and right now, you’re floating all alone on an iceberg in a sea of diarrhea 1,000 miles from shore with nothing to paddle with but a soup ladle.

And when you are ready to make such ignorant statements…when you are ready to dust yourself off…climb to one knee and grab the ropes…I’ll be right there again to not only put you in your place, but to put perspective on just how ridiculous and outlandish your claims are.

As the world turns…so goes your desperation.

It’s been great writing for you, and I look forward to giving you all the details of the next round of red propaganda sure to permeate from these parts very very soon. Thanks again, and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

AJ