December 27, 2007

500

I'm not sure if I'm appalled or proud.

On February 15th, 2005…I decided to take a break from watching college hoops tonight, and spend the 10 minutes necessary to create the very blog you are reading now. Amid zero fanfare and even fewer expectations, I set fourth to explain to the rest of the world, just how insane and outrageous the actions of a single fan base could be. Starting with an idea and a few minutes of free time…the Husker hating movement was born.

500 Columns and nearly three years later, what exactly has changed? Have my words of hatred and disdain made even a dent in how the world sees the greatest fans in college football? Could any expressions of mine prepared you for the idiocy of hundreds of thousands of fans bragging about the West Coast offense…and then 2 months later, declaring it a sham and a crock?

Quite frankly, I’m not really sure what sort of impact my words have had on the collapse of the Husker empire. I have no idea if anything that I have written has resonated with other Big 12 fans and made an impact on how they see the Husker nation. Perhaps you had never dealt with them before and always found them classy and smart? Perhaps the guy in the cubicle next to you went to UNL and won’t stop talking about the 95 Orange Bowl for more than 10 seconds, so you now want to chop his tongue out with a peering knife?

Regardless of the impact of this little corner of cyberspace, let the record show that if nothing else...the sports Gods were certainly listening. Don’t believe me?

Gone is the out of control bandwagon that was Husker baseball. No more do we need to see a sea of Eric Crouch jerseys take over Rosenblatt every June. No more do we have to hear idiots from McCook to South Sioux, talk about the “ins and outs of college baseball”, when their own sorry ass was never good enough to make the room 4 kickball team in grade school. Nope, losses to lower-level commuter colleges are the norm now. Oh well, I guess it was nice while it lasted.

At the time this blog was first published, Husker football was about to declare a renaissance of sorts. After 2004’s abysmal season, Bill Callahan’s crew bounced back with an 8-4 season, including ½ of Bill Callahan’s all time wins over ranked teams. (#23 ranked Iowa State and #20 Michigan). After reaching a crescendo in 2006, this past season saw the bottom drop out, and your hopes and dreams came crashing down with a gigantic thud.

No more do we need to hear about “sophisticated offenses”, or Hollywood quarterbacks with only 8 games more NCAA experience than I have being touted as Heisman trophy candidates. It may be years before we see drunken myopia the likes of which predicted wins over USC in Los Angeles or against a far superior Oklahoma team in Kansas City last year. (The result of a Big 12 North title that was more watered down than the chili at a Pakistani Wendys)

So what’s left to prove?

Is there anything else you people can come up with that will completely dumbfound the rest of the nation, as you have done so to me over the past two decades? Will you people be stupid enough to think Bo Pelini is going to rise you from the ashes and make you relevant again? Are you people that hard-up for success that you’ll believe absolutely anything….like "Barney Cotton is a great fit in guiding your players into battle"? Is ANYBODY that butt-ass ignorant enough to fall for the same joke twice? (The joke being untested coaches being touted as the second coming of Bill Parcels).

Of course you are.
In fact, if I had to bet…I’d say we’re only a single recruiting day away from 99% of you morons being right back in the saddle again…ready to declare the Big 12 North your own once more, and ready to resume talking smack to the likes of Ohio State, Oregon etc. As I stated a few months ago, the ONLY reason I haven’t closed up shop, declared victory and started a fishing blog, is that I know for a fact that you are just DYING to believe again. Desperate times call for desperate measures..and right now, you’re floating all alone on an iceberg in a sea of diarrhea 1,000 miles from shore with nothing to paddle with but a soup ladle.

And when you are ready to make such ignorant statements…when you are ready to dust yourself off…climb to one knee and grab the ropes…I’ll be right there again to not only put you in your place, but to put perspective on just how ridiculous and outlandish your claims are.

As the world turns…so goes your desperation.

It’s been great writing for you, and I look forward to giving you all the details of the next round of red propaganda sure to permeate from these parts very very soon. Thanks again, and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

AJ

22 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quite an accomplishment to write 500 shitty posts in a row. Congratulations.

8:14 AM  
Anonymous corn holed said...

I noticed that the anonymous crowd always have the cleverest things to say. They are always insightful and quit profound. Congratulations.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Love AJ said...

Hey anonymous. Did you read every one of them? At least AJ doesn't hide -- his name and picture are out there.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just put Oregon in the same class as Ohio State? Riiigghhhhttttt....

Sweet tradition, Oregon. Shitty uniforms and Nike.

You are the best public policy argument the Pro-choice movement has.

10:25 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

For the record, I threw out Ohio State and Oregon for a reason.

Ohio state is "old gaurd"...they also wouldn't be shit if they didn't play in a horrible conference. Oregon...uniforms or not...is every bit the power Ohio State is...perhaps more. (If they had a QB who wasn't injured at the moment.)

ANyway...thanks for taking the bait.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

(The result of a Big 12 North title that was more watered down than the chili at a Pakistani Wendys)

Ahem, might be bad timing for this comment!

Anyway, AJ, the reason the Huskers will play all 12 games next year, is because we are going to try to win everyone of them, otherwise, why play. In order to 'try to win' , one first must think they can win. Does Mizzou do it any differently??

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations, AJ--

I really enjoy this blog--even though I'm a Jayhawk. You always make me laugh even when you are ripping on KU. You're so much more clever than the Antlers that can't get past the "Your coach is fat" taunt. Anyway, I hope you have several hundred more.

Happy New Year.

Bob

p.s. Rock Chalk!

4:44 PM  
Anonymous corn holed said...

I wish NU would move to the Big 10. We could finally hang. Probably even win the conference. No Joke.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have my words of hatred and disdain made even a dent in how the world sees the greatest fans in college football? NO

Could any expressions of mine prepared you for the idiocy of hundreds of thousands of fans bragging about the West Coast offense…and then 2 months later, declaring it a sham and a crock? WELL, NO AGAIN


Quite frankly, I’m not really sure what sort of impact my words have had on the collapse of the Husker empire. WHAT COLLAPSE? WE ARE STILL HERE LAUGHING AT YOU.

I have no idea if anything that I have written has resonated with other Big 12 fans and made an impact on how they see the Husker nation. YOU HAVE NO IDEA ON A LOT OF THINGS.

Perhaps you had never dealt with them before and always found them classy and smart? NOPE NOT YOU.

Perhaps the guy in the cubicle next to you went to UNL and won’t stop talking about the 95 Orange Bowl for more than 10 seconds, so you now want to chop his tongue out with a peering knife? Maybe it's you in th othr cubicle?? Then the answer would be YES!

Your comments are as irrevelent as you..keep blogging loser... see ya in the fall.

2:33 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

What collapse?

What collapse!?!?

The only Big 12 team worse than you is Baylor.

Think about that and get back to me. "What collpase"....good fucking Lord, what will you idiots come up with next.

Yeah..see ya in the fall...I'm shaking already. Enjoy your New Year's Day at Wal-Mart.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous WALMART SHOPPER aka A.J'S A TOOL!! said...

Now who took the bait??....sucker!!!

Your such my bitch!!

Pull more strings later puppet!!!

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Corey McKeon said...

Fuck you and your blog AJ. By the way, know anyone hiring? I need a job that isn't going to be too hard on me.

-Corey McKeon

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Eric Wilper said...

AJ,
Congratulations on your 500th blog entry. You do an outstanding job illustrating perfectly how the rest of the world sees the Bugeaters. As much as they don't like it, they just can't comprehend how absolutely accurate everything you write is. What's even funnier is that with every response they answer back with, they only serve to reinforce every single one of your points. It's high comedy. The only thing funnier than your blog, are the mongoloid fusker fans who try and defend their fallen "empire". It's a new age, fuskers. Get used to it. The ass kickings the pink skirts have been receiving will resume next fall, punks.

9:07 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Puppet? Wow. Must have worked on that one for a while.

New column tomorrow. Last of the family Christmas's are over for this year.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous corn holed said...

Hey Bo Eric

I coined the phrase "pink skirts" in the early 90's and I want royalties if you plan on using it ever again. Or you'll be hearing frum my attorney.

BTY Misery fans, it's going to get pretty ugly behind the woodshed tomorrow morning. (since I'v been behind there myself a few times I know how ugly it can be). I might even have to set my rooster early so I get up in time.

Oh and "Misery" is mine too.

side note, hence forth question of the day:
If a husker fan hates other husker fans does that mean he hates himself?

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Eric Wilper said...

Oh it got ugly behind the woodshed all right. And it was Mizzou that was delivering the ass kicking. So much for your 'prediction', shit-for-brains. Now go back to fucking your mother.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Tigers Rule said...

Hey fusker fans --- wow did the SEC really put a whippin on old Mizzou. Held them to 38 points. Oh, and didn't Tony Temple set a Cotton Bowl record?

How did Nebraska do against ND in the irrelevant xbox bowl?

5:51 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Did I just get called out by a Mizzou fan?

Oh man....that's fresh. Anybody else find that as funny as I did?

Holy Hell Captain Douchebag...do me a favor and read pretty much 450 of the 500 posts in the archives.

I'm still laughing about that. Yes. I AM the shit-for-brains.

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ,

FYI, I believe Wilper was referring to Corn
Holed.

8:59 PM  
Anonymous corn holed said...

yo bo eric

Yep it got ugly behind the woodshed alright. F my mother? Original. next you'll say that i have shit for brains. Oh. Once again. Clever.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

500 posts from a grown man who uses numbers to spell words, much like junior high girls.

Keep up the drivel, dummy pants.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Truly will use your blog in teaching basic psychology. You are classic example of someone who no one pays attention to, so you choose to get an internet site to get attention.

You sir, need friends, a hobby and quite possibly medication.

4:41 PM  

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