For those of you who have been with me for quite a while, you’ll know I’m anything but unpredictable. In fact, as many of you have stated…I’m beyond predictable. I”ll always tell you how crappy your effort was. I’ll compare your players to thugs and criminals 100% of the time…every time and twice on Sundays. I’ll ALWAYS, no matter what the situation, explain to you that Tom Osborne may be a nice guy, but is one of the most overrated and over appreciated coaches in the history of the game.
But for this one post…for this one sliver in time, I’m going to break you off a curve.
I’m going to put on my yellow corncob hat…throw on my “Bo knows Mo wins” or whatever lame-as t-shirt you’ve made this week that would make a Sig Ep at Florida State proud..and for this one day, I’m going to stand with you…side by side…pitchfork in hand, or whatever.
On the way home today, I listened to noted Creighton slobber-master Matt Perrault go on about this “boycott” of the Nebraska vs. Oregon game at Qwest Center Omaha on Saturday. Apparently hard-core "Creighton fans" (or radio hosts with no other shot at ratings other than play to a neglected audience) are pissed off that Nebraska is playing the game on..and I quote..."Creighton's home court". (Like it's a 85 year old fieldhouse on campus or something) For those of you out of the area, let me break this down a bit for you.
Creighton is this little piss ant Jesuit school right next to downtown that has like 5 sports and 6,000 students. In 1991 they went to the College World Series. Shortly after that, they went to an NCAA tournament behind a guy named Bob Harstad, who looked something like a cross between Brady Quinn and that caveman in the Geico commercials. Then, in the late 90’s, Dana Altman showed up, and they started to win a few games. (Despite playing in the most horrifically overrated conference on the face of the earth).
What’s that you say? Sounds like the perfect alternative for me to root for? Sounds like the absolute ideal situation for a guy who would rather slice his wrists than watch yet another Johnny Rogers commercial for Century 21 or Roto Rooter or whatever else the hell he’s hawking this week. Well sure…only one problem. Creighton fan is every bit as bad as Husker fan and then some.
Because they are the same damn guy, that's why.
As I was trying to avoid running off the road as Matt Perrault boasted, “This is a Bluejay town all the way”, I thought to myself how absolutely re-goddamn-diculous it is for ANYBODY in their right mind to think that ANY team within 500 miles of this place would COMPARE to the myopia and blind idiocy that is Husker fan. Yet, “Bluejay fan” does them one better, because “Bluejay fan” doesn’t have the balls to root for a shitty Nebraska basketball team.
Are there a couple of Creighton students who don’t root for Husker football? Sure, maybe a couple. But you can’t tell me for ONE SECOND that 98% of those blue-clad freaks that fill the Qwest 18 times a year don’t have a Husker hat they’ve worn since 1985 or a special Eric Crouch jersey they bust out for special occasions. I mean, it’s one thing to be an arrogant prick…but it’s quite another to be an arrogant prick AND actually root for a different (even "rival") team in a comparative sport.
Here’s the part where I back the Huskers.
If batshit crazy Steve Pederson had one good idea, it was to schedule a game in a public arena against a top flight opponent. ("Creighton" and "top-flight opponent" have never been spoken in teh same sentence in the history of man.) It’s bad enough the arrogant and stuck-up aholes who make up the Creighton Athletic Department swiped up all the NCAA 1st and 2nd round tourney tickets last summer. But for them to actually BITCH about the Huskers using a public facility in their own state just takes the Bluejay love of themselves to new levels.
I will say this one more time…you CAN NOT root for one team in one sport, and then bash them in another. I let a lot of crap slide around here. I let you people go on your little rants. I let you blather on about me moving to another state blah blah blah. but this is one thing I can not simply let slide. I mean, at least I understand WHY Husker fans are arrogant. You win 9 games a year for 40 years..yeah…I could see how you’d get a tad bit smug.
But how a piss ant school that nobody gave a rats ass about until they moved into a fancy new arena can get the sack to act as egotistical as they do just baffles me. They’ve won THREE NCAA games since 1974. THREE. 1…2…3. (The last one was on a last second shot from 25 feet. The other two were against that perennial hoops power New Mexico State in 1991 and a four point thumping of 7th seeded Louisville in 1999. Creighton has NEVEr won a second round game. To put that into perspective, George Mason won more NCAA games than that in the 2006 NCAA tourney alone.)
And don’t give me this horseshit about the Missouri Valley being as tough as any conference in the country. I don’t care how many times you spin it…I don’t care how many non-conference games they may win…Northern Iowa will ALWAYS be Northern Iowa. Since 1939 FOUR teams from the Valley have made the Final Four. (The latest was Larry Bird and Indiana State in 1979. How old were you in 1979. And don't forget prior to 1974, something like 8 teams made the tourney field)
These retired dentists, doctors, lawyers and bandwagon passengers of all ages are EVERY SINGLE bit the arrogant prick Husker fan is...with 1000 fewer examples of success. Why is this? BECAUSE THEY’RE THE SAME DAMN FAN. The same pathetic idiots who sat in the Devaney Center and rooted on Eric Piakowski and Clifford Scales, now scrunch up their nose at the thought of Nebraska taking over “their” home court. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Biff and Muffy Creighton fan weren’t in their exact same seats last December when the Huskers won the NCAA volleyball crown.
So go ahead Husker fan. Take that damn place over this weekend. In fact, go in and trash the place if you so desire. Let those pricks know just who you are and what you’re about when they sit down in their seat two days later to take in that epic clash between Dana Altman’s troops and perennial hoops power Houston (Baptist). Switch the seat numbers around, replace the cotton napkins with paper…hide the rack of lamb trays..whatever it takes, you have my blessing. Now granted, there are really only about three dozen of you who even follow Husker basketball…but damnit, I want you to go out there and make a statement.
So for those of you who thought the hate express was taking the winter off due to a crappy Husker basketball team; look no further than the most over hyped and least challenged bandwagon in town. Sure, Creighton fan may have prime seats and the most cozy arena in the nation…but you now have piece of mind knowing that that douche will be freezing his ass off in Lincoln next November watching the Huskers fall to Colorado.
Just because he has on a different color sweatshirt doesn’t make him any less lame and pathetic.