December 3, 2007

The Reign of King Bo Begins...

Has order been restored yet?

Never have so many people looked forward to something so important, and said so little when their wish came true.

Let me start by saying that I’m happy. I’m happy you guys will continue to bombard my comment section with ridiculous claims, baseless paranoia and myopic speculation. I’ve said it once…I’ll say it again 1,000 times: My job is easier when you act like a bunch of douchebags. And having a castoff coordinator with no experience, certainly looks like very well could do the trick.

I’m going to repeat what I said Sunday as well, in case you missed it…nobody knows what this guy is going to do, just as nobody knew what a gigantic flop Bill Callahan was going to be. (Except me) But regardless of fact or educated supposition, many of you will simply grasp at any straw you can find, and immediately take your place on the front lines of a war you simply can not win.

I mean, haven’t you been down this road before? Wasn’t it somebody who looked like you who preached to me for months what a Super Bowl coach could do for such a storied program? Wasn’t it somebody that looked like you who tried to convince me that recruits and turning your program into a pro-prospect factory alone could win you titles?

Hmmm, so now that that didn’t work, what is REALLY the key to restoring the order? Yelling and screaming like a 6 year old at Bill Snyder after a blowout loss? Ranting and going apeshit on the sidelines as Brad Smith runs for another 60 yards? Is that going to work? OK, LSU had a good defense over the last few years…but wasn’t it you people who said “Some people were just meant to be coordinators and not coaches” at Callahan’s firing press conference? Are you so sure about this? Or is it simply another leap of faith into a boiling vat of oil?

Truth be told, you don’t know what the hell you want, as long as it meets your requirement du jour….which in this case was merely to wear a red shirt with an N on it at some point in the past 30 years. Well Mission Accomplished. Seems to me a bit of a high risk, high reward of going about things…especially considering the swarms of valuable lessons that should be swirling inside your head after your abysmal and embarrassing performance this season. (And no, I don’t mean on the field…I mean bragging about things you have absolutely NO CLUE about…like former ASU quarterbacks, rebuilt defensive lines, or systems that have no hope of working in college.)

As your biggest enemy, let me be the first to welcome Quin Pelini to the throne, as lord and emperor of the Husker kingdom. Just as I predicted, the cockroaches have began to scully across the floor, as blind confidence and arrogance begins to rush back into the atmosphere. It was as predictable as the sun rising in the east.

Hope the next 3-4 years will be as fun as the last 3-4 years. Good luck with that. I’m sure we’ll be chatting more about this in the coming days.

****

As for Missouri? Hmmmm…where do I begin on this one?

I know, how bout an analogy?

Let’s pretend some of you sloths defied the odds, and somehow got a girlfriend. Now lets say this modest looking girl was super sweet, super fun and although not a knockout, just right for your tastes. So you stick with this girl for a long while, and develop a great relationship.

But suddenly one day, you come home from a business trip (let’s pretend Arbys has business trips) and find that your girl has suddenly cut and styled her hair, lost 25lbs, and got one hell of a breast enhancement. Before you can spit out the word, “Wow”…she turns to you and says she’s dumping you for her personal trainer named Sven.

Dejected and feeling sorry for yourself, you spend the next several weeks wondering where you went wrong. You break down each and every situation, and play it over and over again in your head. Your emotions go from sorry, to angry to bitter.

Then one day, you are walking down the street and you notice Sven and your old woman walking hand in hand on the sidewalk. Before they can spot you, Sven accidentally stumbles on a crack in the pavement and loses his balance for a moment.

You suddenly run over to the guy, throw your fingers in his face and laugh hysterically. You turn and do cartwheels down the street, as you continue to mock and mimic his stumble…laughing all the way to your 1 bedroom apartment.

Meanwhile, Sven rolls his eyes, grabs your ex’s ass, takes her home and bounces her off the ceiling 3 times a day for a month until she has to wheel her uterus to work in a little red wagon.

So what’s my point? My point is you’re only making yourself look like complete idiots by bashing teams that not just beat you…but crushed you. What’s that? Missouri got screwed by the BCS? Hmmm..something tells me I’d rather take that than a loss to Oklahoma State by 31…at home. Or perhaps go 5-7, after giving up 989,381 points in the final five games of the season. Or perhaps it beats starting over at square #1 with a guy with zero head coaching experience, who was nearly run out of town by his own fans of his current team.

Am I supposed to be crushed? If you say so....but do you have any idea how bad Missouri football has been in my lifetime? Any clue? I used to celebrate 1 point wins over Kansas and Iowa State…now I’m supposed to lose my mind and get all pissed off because the BCS screwed up and every sportswriter in the country is bashing and mocking the decision to no end?

I’m supposed to lose my mind because the consolation prize is a New Years Day bowl (A bowl in which YOU people described as the 5th BCS bowl, more prestigious than any other this time last year), in the heart of the area they recruit the most?

Am I disappointed? Yeah sure, I guess. But am I outraged? Uhhh…not exactly. So no matter what the reaction, it really isn’t going to change much when some 5’3 inch dude with a mullet and a piece of yellow foam on his head comes over and laughs in my face. Say what you will…while you’re restoring whatever it is you’ve put on a t-shirt this week. Just rest assured that while you're doing that, other fans will still be dropping the hammer on what you once had for a long long time..and enjoying ever minute.

Let the new era begin.

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45 Comments:

Anonymous MHF said...

OH AJ it only gets better every time you post! Enjoy the world as you see it while you can bud!

4:42 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Do you realize how many times you have hit this website in the past 48 hours?

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mizzou rocks!

4:57 PM  
Blogger John said...

Best entry ever.

I literally laughed out loud at the red wagon. lol.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous TigerinNC said...

I had no idea where you were going with the wagon. The first time I've smiled in 24 hours. Thanks

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your an eogtisticle assohole. But I will give you credit, that was an all-time great line.

dick

GBR

7:50 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

AJ,

My point exactly, Miissery has always sucked. So you just can't have one good year and start talking shit about you team. Here is your own personal quote about how much you're team sucks.

'but do you have any idea how bad Missouri football has been in my lifetime? Any clue? I used to celebrate 1 point wins over Kansas and Iowa State…'

8:41 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

AJ,

Did you use your LIFE STORY as an analogy? I mean it is a great story, but not one I would personaly tell anybody. What Arby's do you work out so I know where not to go. I don't want anybody spiting in my food.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous MHF said...

Yup bud been a bit bored lately now that the season has ended for the greatest college football program on the planet.

I think I will take up the tuba this winter, then we can play together in the band!

9:18 PM  
Anonymous kyclef said...

i'm a Nebraska fan, but i don't see what everyone's getting so worked up about. some of the same shit that annoys you about Husker fans is the same shit that annoys me. i don't know. i thought this was pretty funny, i guess.

it's a little bit obsessive and psychopathic, like a tonyhomo.com that takes itself seriously, but that's okay. better than some weird scat fetish or something.

i don't think missouri fans are really suffering much. any glee i take in their misfortune is no greater than i would ever take in the misfortune of a big xii north team, and that's because they are our division rivals. their loss is generally our gain. i like that the bcs fucked them over because i like when the bcs fucks people over, because it causes much wailing and gnashing of teeth. that's always funny.

hey, that's what we have in common: we delight in the misery of others! i just don't have a website about it.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Optimistic said...

Why don't you write for a newspaper. Although I don't agree with most of your stuff, you're pretty entertaining and a good writer.

12:12 AM  
Anonymous Baron de Bullshietz said...

Glad to see that your mommy lets you have a nice website to hate huskers ever since your daddy ran off with his tranny girlfriend. Good luck in therapy.

What a colossal waste of time.

2:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Meanwhile, Sven rolls his eyes, grabs your ex’s ass, takes her home and bounces her off the ceiling 3 times a day for a month until she has to wheel her uterus to work in a little red wagon."

I am crying from laughing so hard....

Genius...pure Genius.....

2:34 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

AJ,

Where are my post, did they hit to close to home?

5:23 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Andrew, don't be a douche.

Your comments appear when I approve them. As soon as I see that your jibberish is publishable, I post it. If you don't see it for 3 or 4 hours...DO NOT WORRY...I will get to it, and it will show up. Trust me, your whiney voice is heard. Just calm the hell down.

Oh, and am I the only one who thought the "colossal waste of time" comment was rather ironic, considering it was authored at 2 O'Clock in the morning.

Tells me quite a bit actually.

And yes...Missouri has sucked for years. How stupid do you think I am? Unfortunately for you..they don't suck now...and well...you do.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's another analogy.

Herbie and Truman are two guys who grew up going to the same school and end up working in the same company after graduation. Herbie always works hard and excels, and although Truman is quite talented he never really applies himself and is extremely jealous of Herbie's successes.

One day Herbie starts dating the prettiest woman around. Truman is green with envy. He often shows up at Herbie's house to leave flaming bags of poo. He brags to all who will hear him about his fecal exploits.

After Herbie marries his beautiful wife and has 4 lovely children and adopts a fifth, Truman is elated to hear that the woman has cancer and is dying a painful death.

Truman often calls Herbie saying things like "How pretty is your wife now that her hair is falling out from Chemo?!?!" Truman then calls all his friends to tell them how he 'got' Herbie good.

Meanwhile, Herbie struggles with his bills, works extra hours and tries to make his wife comfortable in her last days.

One day Herbie learns that Truman has met someone. Herbie is happy to hear that Truman has gotten a girlfriend. Perhaps Truman will leave him alone.

To his dismay, Truman calls more often now, bragging about his 'smoking hot girlfriend'. Truman often brings her by. Herbie doesn't think she's that attractive, but probably better than Truman deserves.

One night in November, to Truman's delight, the young lady agrees to sleep with him. He's so happy he calls all the people he knows and tells them, tonight is the night. "I'm 60 minutes from heaven.", he brays.

On the fateful night Truman and his girlfriend start getting busy, everything is going swimmingly until she drops her pants and BOOM....a penis.

Rather than let on that he's hurt and disappointed, Truman rolls over and takes it like a man.

--
The moral of the story? Don't let your jealousy become a pain in the ass.


I think that's closer to the mark than your story.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous JonBenet said...

I liked the bit about the uterus and the red wagon, but I must say I'm confused by your overall analogy. Does Sven represent Missouri? If so, then I think you have it backwards. It's Nebraska that has stumbled. Detractors such as yourself are feeling giddy about it, as are fans from Mizzou, Kansas, Okie State, etc. Giggle all you want, but let's not forget who banged whose uterus for the past 40 years.

11:45 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Jealousy of???........

Having nothing else to do? Wearing yellow foam on my head? Knowing the 40 time of every 8th grader within 500 miles? Claiming to be a member of a team I couldn't play for in 1,000,000 years?

Having 45 sweatshirts in my closet with a character of some hick with a shit-eating grin...standing there in overalls with an ear of corn in his pocket?

Having my home state's 4th largest city be a truck stop east of North Platte?

That's the whole point idiot. NOBODY IS JEALOUS OF YOU. Nobody wants to be you. Nobody gives a shit if your team won a bunch of games 10 years ago.

I make fun of you because:

1) I can
2) It's fun
3) You need it.

11:49 AM  
Blogger bornred said...

AJ,

Props to you... I nearly busted a gut on the red wagon, but the whole thing was an instant classic. And this from someone who is the butt of this thing.

Randy

PS. Just ordered my Bo Bo Bo Merry Xmas t-shirt.... well, not really, but I do hope Pelini can do something good here now that he's got the reins... At least we managed to get Micah Kriekemeier under scholarship

12:01 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

What's with you guys and the t-shirts?

I've never seen a school make so many t-shirts...my God, it's like you're your own frat or something.

Oh, and thanks Randy.

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice comeback.
"OH YEAH!?! YOU SUCK!11!!!"

Weak.

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Straw poll: How many people think AJ is jealous of NU?

1:21 PM  
Anonymous live the tiggers said...

Congratulations to the best team in Missouri’s history, you accomplished many of the same goals the 2006 Huskers did. Good luck in the Cotton Bowl. Dress warm.

1:37 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

The '06 Huskers were ranked #1 for a week, beat two BCS teams and were within 30 minutes of a BCS Title game?

Hmmmm..must have been asleep for that.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"goals"

It was not a goal for the '06 Huskers to be ranked number 1, nor be 30 minutes from a BCS MNC game.

Reading is fundamental.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous luv tiggers said...

I meant:
Big XII North Champs
Undefeated vs. North teams
Invitation to Cotton Bowl

You meant:
Overrated for a week
Beat two BCS teams that played a weak schedule
Within 21 points (three touchdowns) of a BCS Title game

Hmmm…Using your logic, Nebraska was within 7 hours of a BCS Title game.

Did you know when you Google Chase Daniels you can watch him eat a booger on You Tube.

You won't post this because you know it is all true.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous mrkaline said...

Dude, how did you know about Sven?

Great post buddy.

Go Huskers!

Live from Indy,
Mark

3:33 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I love it when people always say, "I know you won't post this".

Dipshit..how else am I going to show the rest of the world what complete dumbasses you are. I mean seriously...look at yourselves.

When I came to Nebraska, I used to hear about National titles, Heisman winners, 17 game winning streaks, 60-3 records, Academic All-Americans, Orange bowls etc etc.

Now look at you: Arguing with a guy with a blog about booger eating, Nebraska's goal of winning a division and how tough of a schedule Missouri's wins were over BCS teams.

Your team was 5-7.

Read that again.

You are nobody. You have absolutely nothing but memories and hope. And trust me...the last thing you want when dedicating your life to your team...is memories and hope.

It doesn't bother me one bit what you think about Missouri. Seriously. I'm in my 30's...they've sucked for a long long long time. They're good this year and I appreciate it, because I actually went through times when it was tough to watch them get beat 77-0. But regardless, at least I knew where I stood in life.

YOU on the other hand have been reduced to this. It's all about perspective, and in the big grand scheme of things, you're too damn stupid to even figure that out.

I write about your idiotic shinanigans because it's amusing and others outside this oasis of myopia deserve to see just how whacked out of your minds you really are.

Remember the days where you didn't give a rats ass about Missouri fans? Those days are long long long gone. I'm suprised you've forgotten about them so quickly, because I sure haven't.

Looking forward to your next anonymous witty posting. Please be sure to include things like: "You pussy, you won't post this" or "I know you'll just remove this".

Makes you look better in the long run.

Thanks! And please come again soon.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't really like Missouri or Nebraska, but I think it's funnier than shit to watch all the Husker fans on this board brag about a 5-7 season.

Good entertainment AJ. Thanks

3:59 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Oh, and PS...

Was it a "goal" of Nebraska to give up 600 yards to Ball State at home? How about make USC look like the New England Patriots? Or how about losing to Okie State and Texas freaking A&M at HOME?

Those pretty good "goals"?

Seriously..it's almost sad to watch you guys reduced to this. And watching what Pelini is doing ....but bringing back every fired shitty assistant that ever stepped foot here....it isn't going to end anytime soon.

God help ya.

4:02 PM  
Anonymous luv tiggers said...

Sorry AJ I forgot something. I know exactly how you feel taking pleasure in watching Nebraska fail. Nebraska sucked this year, so I thought it might be fun to watch the Big XII championship and pull for Oklahoma. One word, awesome! I was giddy with laughter the entire second half. It was fun to watch Chase Daniel self destruct. He didn’t have much to say after his halftime celebration. Wait he did bitch as his own players and cry like the little boy on your home page. I liked when he raised his arms after Rucker tipped the pass that led to the interception that started the ass pounding. What an amazing team player & leader. He continued to pout the rest of the game especially after getting his little punk ass stuffed on running plays.

After the poise and maturity he displayed, the Heisman voters will be sure to send him to New York. I am confident that Daniel would throw a temper tantrum when they announced he was not the winner. Hell, he might eat a booger at the dinner.

As for your analogy, Sven got the pussy (North title), but he didn’t give the ex-girlfriend an orgasm (National Championship) and probably NEVER will. Husker fan can laugh because he knows the bitch will be back when she wants a real man.

4:07 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

And that's fine...I admire (kinda) your resiliency.

However, you'll have to excuse my possible questioning of your claims, considering you are the same people who told me how great 2007 was going to be.

I mean..if a guy comes to my house claiming to be from publisher's clearninghouse...and he's driving an '87 Nissan Pulsar....I'm probably not going to believe him.

But you know what...you got dreams. Have at it.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your faggy little team got passed over by the BCS by not one, but two teams you defeated this year.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Nice respect you toofless tards have earned this year. Know why no one respects you?

You're still just Missouri.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

5:03 PM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

Hey AJ , cut us some slack, man. :)I'm sure that you have heard the phrase that 'adversity builds character' .. and 'husker fan' has had ample adversity this year for a change.

Obviously , :) as a Mizzou fan, you have much more character than us, given the fact that you have had to survive all those years of .. well you know, getting Pinkeled!! :)

As we were once spoiled, I think some of us are getting the hang of this mediocre crap... To you Mizzou fans, be careful as you adjust to the 'spoiled life' over the next few years..........

Ever seen the movie 'Trading places' with Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd?? Classic and relevant to this situation I think...

5:17 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Heh, Point taken Fred.

PS - Hey "faggy" anonymous guy:

Sven says hi.

5:58 PM  
Anonymous DT said...

"I hope you can find room in your trophy case for that all-important Big 12 North Participant ribbon."--AJ, 1/2/2007

Here's where you can find some info on that "all-important Big 12 North Participant ribbon"...including the fact that:

"Pinkel already was thinking of the upcoming game as he clutched the North Division championship trophy presented to him by Big 12 officials after the victory over Kansas.
'This means an awful lot to me and my players and my staff,' Pinkel said."

http://www.mysanantonio.com/sports/stories/MYSA112607.12D.big12.en.2a3c3e2.html

So apparently, the Big 12 north trophy is an actual trophy, presented by "Big 12 officials"...and not (as AJ alleged on 11/28/06):
"...a pretend presentation of a trophy that doesn't exist..."
or as he reaffirmed on 1/20/07:
"...the ever-so-humble huskers presented themselves with a fictional “trophy” that recognized their victorious climb in the Big 12 North. ONLY a team like Nebraska, would be THAT desperate for self-satisfaction that they would need to actually MAKE a fictitious trophy, and present it to THEMSELVES."
(or as he repeated ad nauseam for weeks as soon as the Huskers achieved this status in 2006.)

Yeah, he made a lot of hay out of NU's "Participant ribbon" last year. He repeatedly used the words "mythical", "pretend" and "fictional" to describe the now-confirmed-as-real trophy (that "means an awful lot" to Pinkel and the Missouri Tigers). But don't take my word for it, check AJ's archives...the fact that his logic shifts like the wind from year to year is all right there for your perusal. That's one of the things that I love about the internet...there's a nice tidy account of who said what and when they said it. I've asked AJ to address the discrepancy of the "participant ribbon" twice now...as is usually the case, I'll expect no rebuttal here. (Other than possibly: "Hey, it's Missouri and we suck, so somehow that enables me to change the standards by which I measure teams and their accomplishments!!" How convenient...)

Further confusion/contradiction from mizzou fan:
"We beat two BCS teams!"
or
"KU sucks and we beat them and they don't deserve to go to the BCS!"
Which is it, Missouri fan? Because you can't have it both ways. (Not to mention that the Illini wouldn't be anywhere close to the BCS, had Osu not backed into the MNC game...)

"We were number one for ONE WHOLE WEEK (but then choked as soon as we ranked that high)!!!"
"We were ONLY 30 MINUTES away from the BCS title game (but once we reached that point, we gave up and choked instead)!!!"
The obvious irony of his team achieving the EXACT SAME status as NU '06 must be killing AJ...he's backed into a corner where he has to point out the reasons why the '07 Mizzou "participant ribbon" and their Cotton Bowl invite somehow have more luster that that which he derided just a year ago.

Another good one: "Your state is a culture-less, hick-ridden, back-woods shithole...there's nothing else to do here and you people are losers for following your football team wherever they travel to...yet for some reason I continue choose to live here amongst you." Says a little something about yourself, don't you think? But keep that hypocrisy coming, buddy...

And did you ever notice how AJ basically uses some form of the word "myopic" in practically every post where he's referring to Nebraskans? Sounds a little "unimaginative", "unoriginal" and "uncreative" to me...

Finally, nice job to Anon with the Herbie/Truman analogy...sums it up. How creative, original, imaginative (and therefore un-Nebraskan) of you!

7:36 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Jesus H. Christ...you wrote all that at once? I mean hell...I do that, but I run this thing.

Oh, and by the way...the Big 12 "participant ribbon" was presented to Gary Pinkel IN THE PARKING LOT (per columbia tribune the next day)AS HE WAS LEAVING THE LOCKER ROOM.

Nebraska meanwhile held an on-field celebration, and placed in a larger glass podium. (it's actually a plaque). I'm also quite sure the guy won't be putting up signs around the stadium that says, "here waltz through teh greatest fans in college football". Yes. I'm myopic and arrogant.

I'm a step ahead of you. I'm always a step ahead of you. The other difference is...some programs, with less "success" over the last 117 years don't make ridiculous claims like "restoring the order"..or "Oh me so corny".

You have no clout. You have absolutely no leg to stand on. You made claims last year that you could not possibly live up to.

I was right. You were wrong.

I find it ironic also that as soon as you made your second idiotic hire in 5 years..you all come back with a vengence.

Funny...Big Husker dork.com wasn't exactly banging down my door when you were getting asspasted 41-6 or having KU put up 76 on you.

Oh..and speaking of Kansas...WHB is reporting that Lou Perkins (KU AD) is under investigation by the Big 12 for violating league rules. Hmmm..that doesn't SOUND like a school that was found to have lack of institutional control just last year?

Don't believe me? KC STar this morning...

"Kansas athletic director Lew Perkins said he engaged in numerous phone conversations with bowl officials “all night long” from 8 or 9 p.m. Saturday until 5 p.m. Sunday. He mentioned the Fiesta Bowl, Sugar Bowl and even the Rose Bowl (though admittedly unlikely) were possibilities."

One step ahead of you.

Always.

Go make a t-shirt.

7:47 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Hey Bighuskerfan.com

If you guys ever want me to do a testimonial for you..let me know.

I deal with some idiotic, kool-aid drinking dumbshits in my day..hell..every day. But BY FAR the biggest bastion of them all is that website. (I assume it's a message board, or donkey show calander or whatever.)

Anyway..props to you for being the best of the worst.

Congrats.

7:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ:

You really have one thing correct and I bet you did not even know it.

"The Reign of King Bo Begins", you are his subject, he owns your house, your wife, kids, dog and anything else he wants.

Just remember that and you will get along just fine with King Bo and the Knights of the Nebraska Training Table.

If you act up and cause conflect, he will just take your first born, your wife and all that you own and throw you to into the dungeon.

Have a great bowl season and good luck to your team.

Frank

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mhf pretty much exemplifies the reason I hate Husker fans, but thank GOD he didn't post 25 comments like he did last time. While I enjoy seeing how worked up they can get, I got seriously bored with him last time.

And while I am on the "bored" subject - dt. Seriously? This is the "comment" section, people, not the "essay". I read the first couple rows then anxiously looked for AJ's response.

Love this site, AJ. Always good for a smile. Congrats to Mizzou for their season.

8:45 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Heh...

Frank, that was pretty funny.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous DT said...

AJ, your routine is so played...
-Step 1:
Mock any post longer than two sentences. (Once again, I must point out that you've devoted nearly 2,300 words to THIS TOPIC ALONE with your post and first eleven responses to comments. My single comment was under 600...something that a self-proclaimed great writer like yourself would see as quite easy to bang out in a pretty short amount of time. But keep on making thinly-veiled allusions to my lack of a life in devoting the limited time it takes me to generate my infrequent responses to your constant barrage.)

-Step 2:
Respond to any reasonable point(s) your readers make by diverting attention, delving into some sort of belabored examination of minutia...all the while conveniently ignoring the original point(s). (In this case, the point being made that Missouri's eventual accolades of the '07 season were equal to that which received your unending derisive scorn when the Huskers achieved them in '06; and the belabored examination of minutia delving this time into the particulars of HOW and WHERE NU received their trophy marking their accomplishments in '06, as compared to the particulars of how and where Mizzou did the same in '07...I suppose in an attempt to draw some sort of distinction between the two "participant ribbons".)
On a side note, here's another link where it's reported:
"While Missouri Coach Gary Pinkel spoke to the news media after Saturday night’s 36-28 victory against No. 2 Kansas, he sat in front of a crystal trophy given to the Big 12 North division champion." (So actually, it would appear that it is indeed a "crystal trophy" and not a plaque and that Pinkel had the crystal trophy with him at a post game press conference--and therefore didn't just get it from some dude who came up to him as he was getting on the bus like you made it out to be in your uncited claims.)

http://thequad.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/big-12-trophies-come-first-for-pinkel/

Step 3:
Beat the same tired talking points into the ground that you routinely make in 90% of the submissions you write. ("You're all a bunch of simpleton hicks who make t-shirts for every occasion and wear foam hats made of corn and are also, by the way, myopic!" "Why can't you knuckle-draggers just accept my distorted version of past events and gloom and doom predictions of the future for the truth that it is!" "I'm right, because I said so and you simps don't deserve any further explanation than my good word for proof of my outlandish claims!" You run this thing...so you know the drill.) This is all peppered with calling that pitiful lot that is "Husker fan" the same tired names over and over, as well as tossing in the occasional colorful metaphor in support of the same old played out talking points.

-Step 4:
Banter on about every Husker fan (and furthermore every Nebraskan in general) and paint with as broad a brush as possible when casting them all of like mind and spirit. ("You made claims last year that you could not possibly live up to." I never did any such thing...and I didn't make signs that say that we're the greatest fans in the freakin' universe and I didn't make T-shirts that said we restored the order and I can't fucking stand foam rubber hats that don't come in the shape of a block of cheese...so don't lay that rap on me.)

-Step 5:
Conclude by trailing off into some indistinguishable train of thought. (Gibberish about "bighuskerfan.com" and Lew Perkins...are you serious?)

Yeah, you were sure a step ahead of me on that whole "only total idiots would get excited and get their hopes up for the future when they win the Big 12 North division and get a bid to the Cotton Bowl." Now just wave your finger in my face once again and admit how right you were...

11:31 PM  
Anonymous DT said...

Oh and also, "memories and hope"...at least I've got memories--all you've got or ever had is hope. Oh, I stand corrected, enjoy your memories of being the 4th best team left out of the BCS (or whatever which way you want to spin it).

11:43 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Wait...you COUNTED THE WORDS? Say no more.

And no, it's not killing me. (Last time I checked there is this thing called "expectations". Also last time I checked, 11 wins was more than 9 wins.)

Yes..it's just killing me.

Heh.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous DT said...

Yeah...it's this little program you may have heard of called "microsoft word". You "cut and paste" any form of text to an open "document" and it'll tell you exactly how many words are there. It seriously only takes about 15-20 seconds! You should check it out...
Yeah...I'm the one wasting my time--keep believing that, if it helps.

And yes, expectations are important...sort of like how you expect that you can create twisted distortions of the truth and how you expect people to just take them at face value. Here's another link to a Pat Forde column with yet another mention of Pinkel speaking from a podium after the KU game with the "crystal trophy" in front of him.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=3126645

I'm still dying to know if you were just blatantly misrepresenting the details of Missouri's trophy and how it was received...or are you just clueless? It's gotta be one or the other, so which is it?

So yes, another of your expectations should be that people will from time to time take you to task and call out the bullshit that you regularly trot out here for what it is. I'd call you a liar, but to lie you have to have intent and I honestly believe that most of the time you just don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Oh, and the last time I checked...a big 12 north division title and bid to the Cotton Bowl was the same as a big 12 north division title and a bid to the Cotton Bowl. It amuses me to no end how you continue to point out the fact that Nebraska was able to accomplish the same results as mizzou with two fewer wins and two more losses...that's gotta smart a little, no? It's also gotta kind of sting to know that there's no way that an 11-2 NU team (who was ranked #1 before losing in the CCG) would ever get passed up by teams that they'd already beaten for a BCS bid! That wouldn't be my "expectation" anyway. But you'd probably have us all believe that it's only because us hicks have nothing better to do than travel to watch the Huskers play football once the crop is in and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah (as opposed to the jet set mentality that permeates the lifestyles of most of Missouri society.)
"You have nothing else better to do than watch the Huskers" is a constant favored retort of yours.
Here's a clue to that which seems to constantly confound you...The best fans in the freakin' galaxy are deemed so (in part) because they are well known for traveling to all corners of the country to show up and support their team in person. It's not because some marketing-savvy AD put some signs up at the gates for you to harp away on 'til kingdom come.
Once again, much the same as I pointed out in the case of your "memories and hope" statement...at least we as a state have been blessed with the fortune of having a state University with student-athletes, coaches and staff who are dedicated to achieving standards of excellence (on the field and in the classroom) from year to year for the better part of a half-century...because you don't even have that much and it's so transparent how insanely jealous it makes you.
Enjoy the security of your safe haven of low expectations...they probably make your always-eventual failure easier to bear.

But I must credit you for always posting whatever it is that I have to serve up. I won't take up any more of your time for now...thank you for allowing me to have my comments posted on your forum and for responding to them.

1:54 PM  

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