Simply an Afterthought
No way in hell I can think straight with a hate-festival of biblical proportions looming this weekend. I realize that in normal circumstances, I try to keep my personal rooting interests to a minimum. I’m well aware of the past history of the team, the school and the fan base. I’m aware that the more I pimp up my own team…the more I leave myself open to pot-shots and ridicule when things go bad. In case you haven’t figured it out yet…that’s part of the game.
But as you can probably tell, the football world is in complete and total uncharted territory.
Seriously…how big of a deal is it if you go out Saturday and hire Buffalo University's head coach to replace your precious NFL prodigy? How long is it going to take you people to even get within a sniff of where you want to be? (Let alone where you THINK you should be.) As the nuclear blast of October 6th taught us…it’s going to be a long long time. So before we start back and square one….starting with your upcoming National TV humiliation to Colorado this week and kicking off with the coaching search to end all coaching searches….what am I to do?
Can you possibly expect to take a peek on this site and honestly expect me to blast a team that has absolutely NO bearing on anything this season other than some MAC team who may or may not lose their sub .500 coach? If I don’t care…how the hell are most of you supposed to care? I say this again…I should have shut this thing down long ago….but judging from some of the comments this past week…you have all that myopic frustration built up that is set to explode the moment Tom Osborne steps up to that microphone next week and speaks in that tone that could put a person in a coma. (Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
No, this week is all about me and my people. This week is a celebration of hate and violence unlike anything the world has ever seen. I love reading national sound-offs from SEC, Pac10 and Big10 fans…talking about how nobody cares about Missouri vs. Kansas. How this one-hit-wonder parade will do little to impact anything beyond who gets to go get blasted by OU in San Antonio. (I’m guessing West Virginia fans care).
But the point is well beyond that. The point is based upon a hate and disrespect the likes of which no one could ever duplicate. I’m guessing Alabama and Auburn fans hate each other. I’m guessing many opposing fans of rival teams loathe each other. I’m also guessing however that rival fans don’t often talk about what kind of acid to bring to the game so they can hurl at each other. I’m guessing South Carolina fans…who share the same state have plenty of disdain for Clemson fans would disagree. But how many on either side would fill up a bag of urine and hurl it at the other team’s fans? How about chucking an empty whiskey bottle at the other team’s band?
The great thing about the game this weekend is not that it’s a matchup between two perennial also-rans. (Well, one also ran in Missouri and a never-was in Kansas). The GREATEST thing is that the Jayhawk athletic department was so butt ass stupid as to move the game out of Lawrence and place it right in the epicenter of hate and violence… place that come Saturday may make the bowels of hell look like a Sandals resort in Aruba.
In no way am I advocating any sort of illegal behavior. I’m not giving my blessing to a Missouri fan who wants to bring a chainsaw, or a KU fan who wants to smash his Zima bottle to the ground and attack an elderly couple from Moberly and use their intestines as a replacement for their black and gold tiger tail that hangs out of their ’03 Saab turbo.
I’m simply stating the facts, because I know first hand what this is all about. I know all about it, because I’ve lived it every day of my life for 35 years. I’ve seen family members not talk for months for rooting for the other team. I’ve seen elderly people in their 80s swear like a sailor on shore leave in Tijuana at the sight of Bill Self on their TV.
I get it. How do you think I got this way in the first place?
So with that being said, I honestly HOPE things don’t get out of hand….I simply know they will. It’s a point of view much like those in the pro-choice movement…..I know high school kids will always have sex….why not accept that and attack the problem at a different angle and hand out condoms? (Save your comments...I'm not going there)
If you’re going to Arrowhead, and you’re going to bring an axe, make sure it has a flexible grip as to avoid slippage and possibly harming a fan of your own team. If setting a KU fan’s car on fire is you method of showing your school pride, make sure it’s done with a slow burning compound as not to cause a quick-fire explosion. This will protect public authorities who battle through the tear gas and make their way to the car in question. If you’re going to pour an undetermined bodily fluid on an opposing fans, please do so away from children as not to expose them to unwanted germs or bacteria. Just because their parents are stupid enough to bring them into this God-forsaken bloodbath, doesn’t mean they have to suffer. The trauma of watching their father choked to death with his cashmere KU sweater vest will cause them to spend thousands on therapy for the next few decades. There is no reason to compound the situation.
Again, I don’t condone this type of behavior (nor will I be there to directly participate in it)…I just know that standing in front of a speeding train with a “please stop” sign isn’t going to help much.
So as you can tell, you Husker fan..have now fallen back to the same level of New Mexico Highland NAIA girls Cross Country. You’re an afterthought…a complete non-player. A spec of dust on the overall landscape of college football. And yes, I’m well aware that you USED to be good, but if you think about it…many of the players on the field this weekend were still watching Nickelodeon and playing with GI Joes the last time NU won a National Title. Regardless of how you see yourself, you can rest assure that others have moved past you. Unfortunately for you, those two share your borders and your recruiting efforts.
So in the end, if you’re a Husker fan and you’re all pissed off that I’m not paying enough attention to you…consider it an unfortunate byproduct of you believing in a system that eventually led you to the basement of all things relevant. YOU are the one to blame with your ridiculous claims and lack of foresight back at the beginning of the season. Unfortunately..you’re also going to have to dig yourself out of this mess…regardless of how long it takes.
Rest assured…despite the success of my team…despite the hate and anger directed at a team that isn’t your own…I will continue to call you out for the myopic frauds you are.
It just won’t be anytime soon.
Have a great holiday and drive safely.
Talk to ya Thursday night. Rock Choke Chickenhawk
(Photo of Maclin thanks to Columbia Tribune. MU-KU pic Lawrence Journal World)