November 18, 2007

Are You Still Here?

How the hell am I supposed to even be thinking about your dumb ass at a time like this? The biggest sporting event involving my favorite team in the HISTORY of the school, and I’m supposed to find something witty to take back to you about the Huskers? Who gives a damn about Nebraska football right now? Hell, even most of you don’t really care at this point. However, I write for you ….so I will attempt to keep up the hate, even when the motivation is long gone.

So last night, I was up til about 12:30 in the morning or so, checking out scores, highlights, press releases and just about everything else associated with my team being in the tip 5 of the BCS. Despite the slight diss the national talking heads are giving Missouri (apparently beating a bunch of MAC teams gets you a lot of face time)…it’s still great to finally have to watch other games, watch computer polls etc.

However, as I was finally shutting everything down…minutes before my head hitting the pillow after a great afternoon of watching football…it dawned on me like a ton of bricks. Out of the blue…out of nowhere:

You’re completely and totally an afterthought.

It’s almost as if you don’t even have a team. Despite the big win over IDLE university yesterday (I’m assuming they scored 50+ on you)….NOBODY outside of the Sand-Loess Hills corridor even remembers that you have a team, with the exception of the fact that every now and then, they’ll see a blurb float by on their screen that says, “Tom Osborne hasn’t made a coaching decision yet”.

Wow, that’s good stuff.

I’ve learned over the past couple of decades, that big losses don’t phase you. Hell, giving up 70 points to Texas Tech or 76 to Kansas didn’t really make you flinch. What DOES piss you off is when you become an afterthought..which ironically, you have. Your games aren’t previewed on gameday. Highlights of your victories don’t splash across the introduction of Sportscenter. You’ve become Purdue. Perhaps you may figure this out soon…but I think I’ll just let you figure it out on your own. I’ve got other things to worry about.

Speaking of which, since Nebraska football is irrelevant and I’m nearly in off-season mode already…it appears that for the next week, we’re going to be in Big 12 war mode here at BEL. With that being said, let’s take a look at a few other things going on and go around the state of college football:

* Can somebody PLEASE tell me what the hell is so great about Les Miles? I realize he’s the head coach at LSU, and sure…they’re pretty good. But wasn’t he at Okie State not that long ago? Did they somehow do something impressive that I simply forgot about? According to ESPN, the Michigan job is the greatest end-all, be-all job this side of being Pope. Yet before the job is even open Les Freaking Miles is supposed to pack up yet again and save the day? What sort of lottery did this guy win? I must be blind, because I don’t get it.

* Speaking of Michigan…I get that they have tradition. I get they are two huge name schools with huge alumni bases who have pumped out great players over the years. But after watching some of that game yesterday, can anybody really claim that either one of those teams is that much better than Cincinnati? Kentucky? Clemson?

I’m all for tradition and all that (God knows you people are)…but good lord, there are HUGE games being played around the country, (Including 2-9 Notre Dame…and don’t get me started on that) do we really need 15 minute breakdowns on two teams that would finish 4th or 5th in the Pac 10 or SEC? Why ESPN latches their jaws onto something and won’t let go is absolutely beyond me. Why somebody hasn’t tried to startup another network to challenge them is even more beyond me. Oh least they fired Trev a few years ago. Gotta give them that.

* Not to be a homer here…but give me one reason why Chase Daniel isn’t the Heisman winner? I realize Tebow is the media darling and Ooooooo…apparently it’s important to rush for 20 TD’s and pass for 20. (Doesn’t that just mean you have a shitty running game inside the 5?). But dude has lost THREE games…including that powerhouse Auburn team AT HOME. Daniel has fewer picks per attempts (2.08 vs. 2.02), 800 more yards and oh yeah…two more touchdowns. He also didn’t lose to Auburn at home.

The Heisman is a joke, don’t get me wrong…and yes, I see the complete idiocy of having a Missouri player be up for the award. But this little journey into the forefront of college football has shown me literally hundreds of the annoying tendencies the media has against players from the Midwest.

Oh crap…now I sound like you.

Strike that. Give Tebow the Heisman. He deserves it.

* So what do I make of the Mizzou vs. Kansas game next Saturday? (Not including the beer and hate induced violence that will rage outside the stadium for literally hours before and after the game). Well, make no mistake that KU is very well coached, and very disciplined. They stay in their lanes blocking..they run slants well, and midget boy Reesing does a great job distributing the ball. They’re balanced and they have some good football players on both side of the ball.

With that being said, there’s no way on earth they’re going to win this game.

Kool aid you say? Myopic you say?

Let’s just say it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you play absolutely NO ONE during the regular season, you simply can not prepare for the speed and size that will get thrown at you when things count. So KU’s biggest win this year is over a 6-5 Texas A*M squad? By EIGHT!?!? Meanwhile, Missouri beat the hell out of Texas Tech by 31 (Catch them last night?) and was putting the absolute wood to 9-3 Illinois before holding on at the end in week one. Even beyond that…taking Iowa State out of the equation…Missouri has throttled common foes either every bit..or more than Lamehawk U.

But take ALL of that away, anyone can win on any given Saturday. I am certainly aware of a few breaks here or there could make or break either team’s destiny. But in a game THIS big…and for those of you out of the area…TRUST ME…the stakes haven’t been this high since Abe Lincoln was in office…the thing that wins game is poise.

The team that stays within themselves and dials down the emotion is going to win the game. Now I’m sure beating a Adarius Bowman-less Okie State team is big…or slipping by Colorado in mid-season is a confidence builder…but how much big game experience can you really rely on if you’re KU? Not that Missouri has had tons of experience on a giant stage like this, but both the Oklahoma and Nebraska games this year were electric.

Did I mention the Tigers bludgeoned KU in Columbia last year?

This game could go 1,000 different directions. But make no mistake, never in the history of sports (and no…I’m not exaggerating) has one group of fans…one school…one team wanted to beat the other so badly. You can have your Michigan vs. Ohio State jerk fest…you can talk about Duke or North Carolina….Florida and LSU blah blah blah. But these teams are so good so rarely, that the event takes on even more significance. Throw it all together in the epicenter of hatred…Kansas City..and you’ve got a college football game for the ages.

I just hope I can make it through the week.

If you’re on either side of this war, I wish you luck. If you’re not, and you’re dressed in your red overalls and giant foam yellow corn hat…well…I pity you and look forward to your reports of someday kissing a live girl. It’s not like you have anything else better to do these days.

Hate Week II begins….



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, although at the beginning of the year, I would not have considered the possibility of this game meaning so much. Two fan bases that hold the other in absolute contempt.
Missouri just coming out of our 40 years in the wilderness meeting the mighty beakers, proud holders of more NCAA infractions than Jerry Tarkenian and the entire SEC combined.
You're going to throw these 2 bases in Arrowhead with an entire day of consuming JD, Crown Royal and Budweiser (or Zima and wine coolers for our friends of the west). The possibility that this erupts into violence on the scale of a soccer match in South America is distinct. Just as possible is that after this game, the city of Kansas City informs both universities that in no way, shape or form, will next years game be played within the city limits, and that they'd porefer the teams find another route to take when traveling by bus.
It's going to be glorious.


11:38 AM  
Anonymous Mighty Huskers Fan said...

AJ your team is about to take the field in a game that is the biggest one in school history for stakes that have always been considered out of reach for both MU and KU. And you continue to toil away taking cheap shots at the greatest college football program in the universe.

Buddy, you should turn your attention to the matters at hand and focus your energy on writing about your team and it's current success. This is big stuff bud, I think it is fair for me to say that all of us in Husker Nation would not be hurt in the least if you focused on MU the rest of the year. We have been there AJ, I personally have attended several games of this caliber with my Might Huskers over the years and it is good. Turn your energy toward the team you support my friend, don't miss a very special time in your schools history by focusing on hate.

Good luck Saturday!

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Fifth Flea Down Kicker aka Tyus Edney said...

AJ -

I really think you're losing sight of how much God hates Mizzou. Everything you said about this matchup is true. Kansas is untested, has no team speed, and Missouri has more talent on both sides of the ball. They should win this game handily.

But that's exactly why they won't. As terrible as losing one of these "trap games" would have been, it at least would have put us in the more comfortable position of spoiling Kansas' magical season, rather than attempting to continue our own.

Think about it. The one time in practically a half-century that Missouri wins 10 games and reaches #3 in the nation, it has to be Kansas of all people as one of the teams ahead of us.

This is really shaping up to be another brutal, devastating punch in the mouth.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, I've finally figured you out. You're a diehard Husker fan, but the worst Husker fan in history since you actually pull for the Mizzou Tigers. Cocky? Arrogant? Myopic? Check, check, check.

Chase D for Hypesman? You must be on Omaha Crack. He doesn't have the numbers, he doesn't have the wins and he doesn't have the leadership qualities. Well, I guess he beat Oklahoma...He didn't? Colorado and Texas Tech easily handled OU and Chase D let the O and U on the helmet firmly shove his tail between his legs. The only time you hear his name and the heisman in the same breath it's during a Big XII blow out on ABC, and you know those screwballs are just trying to sell ad time.

Oh, and speaking of man crushes, remember the beginning of the season when Gary Pinkel was an idiot who would find some way to piss away games? Now he's Bear f-ing Bryant with all the stones of a sculpture of Chuck Norris humping Mr. T. You've turned faster than a Potato Salad in the Dallas summer heat. I'm sure you'll come back around next season when Mizzou is once again 4-4 and struggling to compete with ISU.

Nebraska doesn't matter? Then why are *you* still here? Because what would the college football world do without your sorry ass?

You are so a Husker fan.

12:30 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You've figured me out? What, but just throwing anything you can think of onto a screen and hoping it will stick?

"You're a Husker fan"

"Chase Daniel sucks"

"Why are you here"

Blah blah blah blah. I told you long ago..I would have packed this whole thing up and declared victory the second your sorry ass team got blasted 41-6...but I know..(and I'm right) that the second Callahan is gone..(or even before), you delusional idiots will be right back making t-shirts..talking about "order" blah blah blah.

I just have to fill the time.

And yes..I'm well aware of how much Missouri has sucked...and I'm aware that God hates Missouri and their fans.

I know it. I've lived it. You all think I'm stupid for some reason.

Crazy perhaps...but not stupid.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CU and Tech "easily" handled OU? They beat them at home by 7 points or less. That's "easily"?

What did Mizzou do to CU and Tech? I think 45 and 31 point drubbings answer that question

1:33 PM  
Anonymous KUHater said...

AJ I have a direct question to you. It's short and sweet. actually its 2 questions? First off i would like to say that KU is a disgrace and making a moccery of college football. Never In Gods green earth would and will I ever consider KU to be a football powerhouse. They will never be a "threat". Why do you even think that this "Greatest football game ever" is going to be so god damn great? What is going to happen here is KU will go out get their asses handed to them, then relize that their D was pathetic and reesing the short little stubby duschebag sucks. Then at the end of the game you think it will be a big crazy fight but your wrong again. What really is going to happen is you will see all those bandwagon KU fans take off those brandnew KU shirts they just purchased that day and throw them in the trash, walk away, and go home and act like they never liked KU and the rest of the Nation will now realize how much of a JOKE KU is. I never got to the second question. Sorry.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, you're not stupid, just severely misguided and even more predictable by continually wasting your time on this do-loop of Husker hate.

It's our year and we're going to win Saturday. I have no idea how or by how much, but our coach is simply better than your coach and that will be the difference.

Sayonara to your season, you slaver pig.

KU fan in Nebraska.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ironically, Idle University was the toughest one on KU's cupcake schedule too.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Order could be restored at the Insight Bowl. Don't sell these idiots short.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Mighty Huskers Fan said...

#2 vs #3 this weekend! Should be a good game boys.

11:40 PM  
Blogger HBF said...

What objective people believe about the relative strength of the KU and Missouri teams ... from

NEW YORK (AP) -- "All that stands between a Kansas-LSU matchup in the BCS national championship game are some tough opponents.

LSU was first and unbeaten Kansas was second in the Bowl Championship Series standings Sunday and the chances of another team catching either without the Tigers and Jayhawks losing seems remote.

The Tigers (LSU, not Missouri - Ed. note) are No. 1 in the polls and the computers ratings and have BCS average of .990. The Jayhawks are No. 2 across the board with a BCS average of .949. ... "

Get over it AJ. If your team wins Saturday, then, and only then, can you say "I told you so!" Your team is fortunate not to be playing the Jayhawks in Lawrence.

6:41 AM  
Blogger Tucker said...

AJ, no Husker bashing this week please... Turn to a more urgent matter.... hating KU! Ford/GM/etc shifted production in WWII to help the cause... its time for you to shift production. Go Mizzou!

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


wow for someone that has Pinkel as your head coach u are obviously smoking something fantastic to think MU IS GOING TO ROLL IN THIS GAME! You have forgot to realize that you have one win in the last 4 years?!?! good percentage. but hey it is nice to see the confidence in ur dumbass cause it'll be that much more sweet when ur leaving the stadium early!

9:43 AM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

I'll sum up my thoughts on the Big XII North Championship game like this:

Mizzou has offensive weapons up the Wazoo with Daniel, Maclin, Rucker, and Kaufman.

Kansas has two things going for it: the Pinkel factor and Mangino.

I like Mizzou's chances on paper...

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tiger gary says;

kuhater, good post, but not capitalize ku...lower case please, even when referring to them as squawks, beaks, or redlegs...its HATE WEEK, baby...they deserve as little respect as possible

ku fan in Nebraska (wow, that does suck, you're not a postal worker are you? I'm concerned about the safety of others)..let me get this straight..."our coach is better than your coach..."....based on what, that landmark victory over Central Michigan? Nice resume builder over a team destined to play in a mid December bowl on Versus....

AJ, keep bringing the hate....oops, time to fire up the DVDs of Ride With the Devil and The Outlaw Josey Wales....

I hate ku.......

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Mighty Huskers Fan said...

All this hate directed at the team I love and my favorite sport are over the top for me. Husker fans, weather you have liked or hated my opinions consider joining me in a boycott of this blog. Don't feed this idiots passion for mocking what we all love. If we ignore him he will have no choice but to go away.

AJ, lets see if you have the character to post this one.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous jhawk-in-nc said...

I hate to rain on the hate parade, but I may as well say it now: If the Jayhawks lose on Saturday, I will be rooting for Mizzou to get to New Orleans and win the whole damn thing.

Why? Because where I live, all I ever hear is how the SEC is the greatest football conference by far (and how the ACC is the greatest basketball conference by far, but that's another season). So if KU doesn't get the chance to knock off LSU in the title game, and since OU is out of the race, then let it be Mizzou.

On Saturday in the Arrowhead parking lot, I will raise my bottle (sorry, no Zima) to the rivalry, to the good health of both teams and to continued success for the winner in taking the Big XII title game and kicking the SEC's ass.

There, I've said it. Rock Chalk, and if it becomes absolutely necessary, MizzouRah. May the best team win.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

MU kills the Jayhawkers, but gets shredded once again vs. the Land Thieves, as Stoops out-coaches Pinkle-dink and the Mizzoo-hoo-hoo-hoo tiggers.

11:55 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

MHF - You just don't get it do you?

You can't stay away from me. None of you Husker freaks can stay away with this blog, because it KILLS you that somebody dislikes your team so much to go out of their way to tell the rest of the world.

Do you know how many times I've heard, "Screw you..I'm never coming back here"...only to see them log in about 50 more times the next day? You're also making teh assumption that only Husker fans visit here.

Do you have any clue how many fans of how many teams despise you? If NONE of you showed up...(and as we've mentioned..that's impossible)....I'd still be sitting here doing exactly what I do today. Only instead of laughing AT YOU..well..we'd still be laughing at you..only you wouldn't hear it.

It's a moot point.

You can't quit me.

I'll even write up the "boycott" letter if you like. I'm pretty good with words, perhaps I can give you some pointers.


PS - You're 5-6 in case you didn't notice. I've already won.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We can't quit you? Maybe.

You're the poor smuck who's thinking about a team can't stand BEFORE HE GOES TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, even when the team is on bye week.

We may not be able to quit you, but WE OWN YOU! You are our lil' bloggin' beeach!

Still sucks to be you.

2:09 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

Okay, you sold me.. I'm officially quiting. Besides, I run into people everyday that make fun of me so I can easily replace the hate void creating by no longer coming around.


PS. I'll check in 5 - 10 times per day, over the course of the next 6 months or so to make sure nobody is visiting and if I post, it'll only be to leave an inspiring message to my fellow Husker fans to give them the strength to stay away. What can I say, I'm a giver..

PPS. AJ, I triple dog dare you to post this... I don't think you have the "scrotem"

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does Nebraska still play football? They used to be pretty decent back in the day. I just haven't heard anything from them for awhile. What ever happened to that Bill Callahan guy?

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry AJ. As much as I love your work here, I am pretty sure ku will win this weekend. Fairly easily, if fact. As a KSU fan, I just watched mu beat up on us in person. A good team - not KSU, obviously - should be able to run at will against the tigers (B. McAnderson). And shut down the tigers' running game. Man, those inside handoffs to Temple take a loooooong time to develop.

6:11 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You don't own me.

You complete me.

God I love my readers.


6:49 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...


I'm sure many of the KU fans will throw away new shirts and walk away if we loose. But you should know there are many fans like me who are bigger football fans than they are fan's of the basketball team.

I personaly will be there. Mizzou fan come prepared. It is going to be the worse day of your life.

I'm bringing bear mace.

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

KU will own MU this weekend! Pinkel is a gay bastard who wishes Daniel would let him shove his pickly up his ass instead of hin shoving his finger up his nose. Gay as Texas fucking kids anyway!

10:51 PM  
Blogger HBF said...

AJ, this person NAILED it! I disagree with the "sucks to be you" part since I assume there's more to your life than the hours spent producing this blog. Let's hope, anyway. You're obsessed, or perhaps, possessed.

"We can't quit you? Maybe.

You're the poor smuck who's thinking about a team can't stand BEFORE HE GOES TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, even when the team is on bye week.

We may not be able to quit you, but WE OWN YOU! You are our lil' bloggin' beeach!

Still sucks to be you."

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ne-jhawk, are you a product of Missouri public schools too, like AJ? If you're going to post, at least review your grammar, or don't let your six-year old post for you.

10:08 AM  

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