November 12, 2007

The "I'm Sorry" Edition

One thing about being in the hate business, is that you have to expect to take your lumps. More than once during my tenure as author of this fine piece of literature, I have had to swallow my pride…suck it up, and tell you that I was wrong. I’ve done it several times, and I think it is a key part of running a column that has any credibility whatsoever. It’s a difficult thing to do, admitting you’re wrong; but as most of you have learned by now…it’s part of being a man.


So with that…here it goes. (sigh)

Bill Callahan….I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I called you the Great Raider Flunky. I’m sorry I mocked your ability to lead. I’m sorry I poked fun at your lack of class, dignity and general inability to lead a pack of fat women through the bakery isle at Kroger's. I’m sorry I mocked your speech, your hair and your facial expressions. I’m sorry I compared you with an elderly French woman. I’m sorry I dogged your bland and empty resume. I’m sorry I compared you with the man who cleans up the booths down at the nudie arcade downtown.

I’m man enough to admit this…I completely underestimated Bill Callahan. However, that was before the events of Saturday. I will say this though...I respect the hell out of anybody who goes out of his way to throw up a giant middle finger to the hayseed fans of this state the way Callahan did against Kansas State. The 4th and 20? Absolute genius. Burning redshirts? Brilliant. Advising NU commits to look elsewhere? Classic. And most of all, I respect and admire anybody who has the ability to make Tom Osborne any more idiotic and clueless than Callahan has. "Crusty old fuck?" Absolutely delicious.

“What, you’re offering me 5 million bucks to leave? Screw you guys…I’m taking you hicks down with me.”

Callahan’s salt-the-earth mantra and his scorched earth version of program management has won me over. I can not put into words how wonderful it is to see a man almost literally pour gasoline all over his program, with absolutely no tinge of guilt. But who can really blame him?

You people were the ones who gave him an extension. (Not 3 seasons..but 8 weeks ago). You people were the ones making “Air Cornahan” t-shirts. You people were the ones drooling over recruiting as if it was the crusty macaroni salad on the buffet at Golden Corral.

But regardless….Bill Callahan has shown me that I was wrong about everything. I’m sorry Bill. You’re efforts in exposing Husker fans for the fickle and hypocritical idiots they are is indeed inspiring. I wish you nothing but success in your future endeavors, and wish you nothing but success in badmouthing Nebraska football and their fans to random camera crews and writers for months and years to come.

I was wrong Bill. I hope you can forgive me.

*You know my team has arrived when I get just as much hate mail from KU fans than I do Nebraska fans. I hope the rest of you are about to enjoy the inevitable display of hate and rage that will fill both this space and other media outlets in the next two weeks. I’ve told you for years the true meaning of sports hatred, and brother…if you watch what is developing prior to the 11/24 match up between the Tigers and Jayhawks…you will get what I’m talking about.

Just sit back and watch the hate as it rains down like fire upon the kingdom of Satan.

* Finally, I apologize to my Colorado friends. In my quest to watch the Huskers pull into Fort Worth, riding an unstoppable and sheepish wave of pride and humiliation…I have failed to back you in your own time of need.

As I’ve stated at other times…the Husker hating movement for me did not start in 1997, as a future prison-bound wide receiver kicked a ball illegally through the Boone County night and into the arms of this state’s most famous and lucrative autograph signer.

No, for me the true movement started in 1989, as I watched the upstart Buffs knock out Nebraska, as a young Darian Hagan sliced through the Husker defense at will. The Buffs upset of Nebraska and the subsequent river of tears and excuses that flowed from that loss, set the foundation of the hatred you know and love today. Because of that, or perhaps the fact that I’ve spent several drunken nights on Pearl Street myself (One of my favorite bar districts anywhere)…I’ve always been fond of the Buffs.

So with that being said, in the spirit of the day…I also apologize to you Colorado fans. I have used my own selfish desire to see the Huskers and their fans humiliated to mask my duty of supporting you toward your first bowl game in the Dan Hawkins era.

Despite our teams being rivals within the same division…I share and admire your hatred of all things red. With that, you have my unwavering support on the 23rd as you knock the corn off of their thimble-high pedestal this week.
Good luck to you.
AJ
PS - To make it up to you...here are the USC Song girls. Enjoy.


49 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for making me a KU fan.

Dick.

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with that Dick. Can't spell 'suck' without ku.

12:29 AM  
Anonymous CU fans everywhere said...

AJ,

Apology accepted. don't sweat it, we all know your heart was in the right place.

5:00 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

AJ , I am wondering about the Bill Callahan commemorative coins that were released just this last year. Do they suddenly become more valuable? Talk about a burning reminder of the Jekyl and Hyde relationship some fans have had with their 'Coach' who for almost 4 years 'just needs more time' (according to fans) , because recruiting is wonderful since Solich left!

6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ:

...and general inability to lead a pack of fat women through the bakery isle at Kroger's.
LOL!

Even USC Songs Girls love red.
"Money, it's gotta be the shoes!"

Go Big Red!

Best,
Joseph

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you turn an absolute thrashing of your POS team into a knock against Husker fans?

Did we elect Callahan to the head coaching position? No. He was hired in a unilateral act by the AD, Pederson. Did we elect Pederson? No, he was hired in a unilateral act by the administration. Do you see where I'm going with this? Husker fans had nothing to do with either hire and many of us--no, most of us--were pissed off when Pederson gave Callahan an extension.

Don't act like Husker fans loved Callahan only for us to be "fickle" and angry at him. Many of us felt he was the wrong hire from day one.

If you really want to man up and lend this blog an air of credibility, you need to step up to the podium and concede that your team was exposed for the piece of junk they are. Your team just got thrashed by a Nebraska program that lacks an identity, that is not playing as a team, that has lost passion, and that has a madman for a coach.

Don't try and twist the sad showing of your team into an attack on the Husker fans. KSU sucks. Accept this.

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmmmmmmmmm song girls:)

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am coming for you AJ! :)

10:17 AM  
Anonymous JC said...

OH AJ you pathetic hating soul! It is so sad to see you have wasted so many years of your life hating others over a meaningless game. I shall judge you as I have judged no other when we finaly meet.

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of your average efforts, aj. Come on, man, you can do better!

I'm rooting for KU for the only reason to see how you and the rest of the Mizzou faithful handle it. My brother is rooting for you guys because then he wants to see you lose twice to OU.

How's that for love?

10:21 AM  
Blogger midzman said...

Thanks AJ - Go Buffs!

10:23 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Uhhhh...somebody want to tell this guy I'm not a K-State fan...please.

I realize it's easy to just log on here and start ranting and raving...but if you're going to do so...at least read a few paragraphs before you do.

God I hate rookies. Just sit back adn take it before you make yourself look like an idiot.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous jhawk-in-nc said...

Thanks for the Song Girls, AJ.

Are you going to be at Hatestock '08 in a couple of weeks? A friend was wondering if the Chiefs will be smart enough to beef up security in the parking lots. This is not going to be their usual crowd of 80,000 all wearing red and gold.

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn - The USC song girls are smokin'. I wonder if Reggie Bush fucked 'em all.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of love hate relationships. Other than the one my brother has with his girl friend (we better not go there), how about the Colorado fans with Hawkins, Missouri fans with Pinkel (in the not to distant past), and the Kansas State fans with Prince. Each team at times doesn't know whether to shit or go blind with their coaches.

Not much difference with the Nebraska fans about Callahan this season as well.

It sure is getting interesting to see what teams are going to do about this "instant gratification" thing happening in college athletics. With all the billion dollar coaching contracts being written up and with all the promises being made by the team and coach, there seems to be no end in sight.

Kind of takes the fun out of it for the real football fans out there.

Oh yes, AJ..........You can still go Fuck Yourself!............But have a nice day just the same.

Frank

1:16 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

We get the fucking crying kid and CU fan gets the song girls... That ain't right AJ, no matter how much you despise us...

Randy

PS. If you look at just the right angle, I think you can see some of their downstairs...

PPS. I'm telling you, a FAQ would be very, very helpful. Then again, half the reason I come around here is to watch you tear into some fresh meat...

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Mighty Huskers Fan said...

That was a real interesting article AJ. I understand how an individual like you can relate to a stand up individual as Bill Callahan. Like you he is a master at pointing a finger at others for all his problems. Is he like a father image to you bud?
I learned today just how much I didn’t know about Missouri football. For years I have been giving the program far more credit than deserved. I was shocked to learn that this is only the 4th time in Missouri football history that the team has managed to pull off 9 wins. I was so used to my mighty Huskers doing that year in and year out I didn’t realize just how huge of an accomplishment it is for those of you have for supported a team of second-rate ability for so many years.
I also understand your anger and hatred toward those of us who are superior to the rest of you in the hierarchy of the football world. I understand the power imbalance that you have been forced to live with for so many years has spun you into a bitter individual ravaged with hate. I pity you my friend.
Like thousands of other superior Husker fans I pity you and your fellow second class minions of the north. I have the same pity for you that I have for the homeless, poor orphans and ignorant football coaches like that putz Pinkel. My goodness he is a dumb bastard, I watched his weekly show and laughed earlier today. I pity you man. Instead of donating to the Salvation Army this year I will be happy to send a donation your way in hopes it helps you and yours enjoy the holiday season.

2:27 PM  
Blogger JGerardi said...

AJ,
Impossible not to forgive you when you post a picture of Darian Hagan on the site.
Go Buffs,
Jeff G

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

89 was hardly an upset. Colorado came in ranked #2 in the nation, NU was #3. In fact, it was not an upset at all.

4:21 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I actually read an article where the Chiefs and Jackson County will be using ONE HALF the security they normally have for a Chifs game because, "College crowds aren't as rowdy".

That place is going to be bubbling with hate and rage...and GOD only help the team's fans of the losing team.

I'm serious...there will be a riot. I'm ont joking.

PS - Thanks Frank..you too.

PPS - I realize CU was #2 or whatever..but you hadn't beaten Nebraska in like 100 years...and you barely held on to do it that year.

Jeez..try and give you guys some love and you come back splitting hairs. Next time...no song girls for you.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the way back to 89 to dredge up more shit AJ! When my KSU cats kick the snot out of your tiger kitties Saturday you will be nothing more than a crying bitch!

After the beat down we got last week the boys will be pumped up and ready to roar. Sucks to be a Mickey Mouse Missouri fan this week!

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The state of Kansas will rip you poor inbred bastards across the border in Missoura a new ass the next couple of weeks!

5:23 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

Your 'blog' loses all credibility with the title. Husker H8ter? Nice girly Junior-High stuff.

Just move, man. One good thing about this state is that we like it when you come, but if you want to leave, well that's just fine, too. Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.

5:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would suspect there to be a huge riot in Kansas City for this one. Both teams have some of the dumbest hick ass stupid mother fucking dick sucking fans on this planet.

They should set up a free dental clinic prior to the game so you toothless bastards can get some help. Put it right beside the rib shack and the welfare station and it won't be missed by any of you mother fucking bastards, well you better put a big sign up but don't use to many words with more than 4 letters, the population of your states don't need to be confused by big words.

So what will they call this one, the hayseed backwoods dumb bastard barefoot hick bowl?

It should be real interesting to see your no class fan bases head to head on nuetral ground! I can only imagine the carnage that will take place by a bunch of wanna be drunken inbred mother fucking bastards that will be on both sidelines for this one.

Fuck I hate you cock suckers! All of you are so jelous of the sucess from the boys up north over the years you have been blined by stupidity.

5:33 PM  
Anonymous KSHusker said...

AJ-

When I first read your articles I was mad, and now I'm starting to see a real genious in them. I would like to applaude your efforts and keep it up I enjoy reading. As for the coloradians, I don't think they deserve the USC song girls, I mean come on they are thrashing you after you just try and support them. I hope all is well in your world and wish missouri the best seeing as i hate KU more than anyone else, i mean try and think of who else has a fucking mascot that doesnt fucking exist. I don't think they have shit after seeing nebraska and their terrible offense put up that many points on them, mizzouri should have no problem. Chase Daniels for Heisman!

Luke

6:03 PM  
Anonymous jhawk-in-nc said...

"I actually read an article where the Chiefs and Jackson County will be using ONE HALF the security they normally have."

Holy crap. This may be the only time I ever pay extra for insurance on the rental car.

7:56 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

That's the first anti-me comment I've ever gotten from an alleged Kansas State fan. I thought we had this connection thing going? I thought we understood each other?

This comment has made me sad.

AJ

PS - Hey Jeremy..."Girly Junior High stuff"? Have you seen the hate mail I get? Have you seen some of the comments on these pages over and over and over again? Have you met Corn Ridden Shit guy yet?

I find it ironic that you mock the fact that you feel the name is lame...you you come up with the lamest put-down I've ever read.

Thanks for stopping by you dummy pants.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

That's it. NO ONE calls me dummy pants, and I mean NO ONE!

You wanna dance, pencil neck? Let's go. At the flag pole, after recess!


I don't send hate, because I don't hate anyone, even you. It's football. Big deal. If you talked crap about my family, then we'd have issues.

I did, however, hate living in Texas. I hated all the Longhorn crap in BabyPoop Orange (official color), and I hated (still hate) losing to them, even more than Misery. I didn't hate their fans, but I still couldn't stand them.

But you know what? I moved. Hmm...

8:30 PM  
Anonymous ron prince said...

EMAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:07 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

AJ,

The comment section is starting to remind me of the tide. No, not those dumbass Alabama folk... what the fuck is a Crimson Tide anyway? Sounds like what happens when 10 chicks on the same menstrual cycle go swimming and simultaneously pop their corks. I'm sure I'm just stupid (yes, I know, goes without saying since I'm a Husker fan), but what in the hell does that stupid ass elephant have to do with anything? Jesus, and we get shit for Herbie and Lil Red.. at least they have overalls on and they carry around an ear of corn, fuck, that makes sense to me... corny? yes, but it makes sense. I mean, c'mon.. having Dumbo as your mascot, while fun for the little ones, is stupid. I put it right up there with the original Anahiem Mighty Ducks.. Fuck, I'm sorry, but I'm not afraid of Donald Duck dropping the gloves and pulling my sweater over my head...

No, I'm talking intertidal zone stuff here.

It's like the low tide now... the comments, for the most part, smell like dead fish and you can see all the shit that is normally covered by water. bigredfred's comments are like the little crabs, there are way too many of them and when you look at them, it's hard to tell what the fuck they are up to.

Damnit, write something hate filled, even if it's directed at KU and move the god damned Moon so we can have the high tide back up in this piece. We need deeper waters to bring back the sharks (where's Corn Ridden Shit Guy, that guy's a fucking Great White).

Am I alone on this?

Randy

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ-
You mention redshirts being burned, do you know who and how many? Just curious. Thanks for the support for next week. I was at that game in 89 and I still have the ticket. You express my disdain for all things Nebraska better than I ever could!
Thanks!

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Rasputen Cockweed said...

To the first comment in this thread:

No one is made into a KU fan...they just become one after years of sucking ass. You are clearly a loser if you identify with those KU polesmokers

Remember: You can't spell COC*S*CKER without KU

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ,

I am from Nebraska and I just wanted to say I love you. I love NE football too and I love all Big 12 schools. I would rather see NE beat all the other Big 12 schools, but if that doesn't happen, then I want to see a Big 12 school when the National Championship.

Once again, I love you AJ!

11:11 AM  
Anonymous cautious tiger said...

"I actually read an article where the Chiefs and Jackson County will be using ONE HALF the security they normally have for a Chifs game because, 'College crowds aren't as rowdy'."

It's going to be even worse than that AJ...the Chiefs are going to open the lots early for tailgating, and serve beer at the concession stands. I have been to some roudy MU/KU games, but infuse alcohol into the mix and the game is going to be an all-out, prison-style riot.

11:28 AM  
Blogger Mizzou Guy said...

Dummy pants, lol. Great blog, I sent you a TBIM. Get back to me when you have a chance. -jeff

12:29 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

AJ:

Been awhile. I have been reading from time to time, but have not cared to post much.

The reason that you are receiving hate mail is that success breads contempt. Misery is winning. They are not brothers in arms AJ. They have only cheered you on because you were hating on us.

It is kind of like when a nerd gets into a fight at school with someone cool. The other nerds cheer the nerd on. But once the nerd becomes cool, they despise that former nerd as much as any other cool kid.

I am at a point where I want to see Misery win this fucked up Chinese fire drill of a college football season. Win it all even. See you guys with an NC. I want to see Booger with the Heisman.

I want to see how you handle success. Based on the way you handle other things, I am betting you handle success closer to the way Miami did and less like NU did....fwiw Then again, if the above happens, your head might explode....not sure which I am rooting for.

As always, I hate you.

H4Y

1:16 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

AJ:

By the way. CU should never be given the song girls or else those ladies will end up being imbibed with spirits and then gang fucked by a bunch of players and recruits.

H4Y

1:20 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Jeremy..if you actually left your job at McDonalds....your 67 Nova...your whitesnake records and your mom's basement...just because you hated Texas fans? You're a bigger loser than I thought.

It's one thing to spend 15 minutes every few days on a blog about people you hate....it's quite another to change zip codes.

Freak.

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, I think Jeremy got to you. His logic behind his moving from Texas is sound.

We're waiting ... to say goodbye to you.

On a different topic, KU is ranked ahead of your Weiner-cats by every major poll and most every CFB pundit. I'm sure that makes you nuts. Fatman Mangino is going to plan and scheme and out coach Pinkel into second place in the Big XII North. The resulting scream emitting from KC and Columbia will be heard in Chicago. You can then join NU in Texas for bowl season assuming the boys in red pants can put a string of two together.

KU! the Big XII's best team, period!

KU fan in Huskerland.

3:56 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You haven't played ANYONE. Your best win is a 6-5 barn burner over a whopping Texas A&M team.

Your Strength of Schedule is 73. SEVENTY THIRD. Your logic, your fans and most of all that stupid fucking bird...are all lame.

You and Jeremy should get a room.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

"Everybody has things that annoy them. Mine just so happens to be an entire state."

Your words, buddy. If the whole state annoys you, why not just move? This state is filled with idiots wearing red, so you're basically surrounded by people you hate. Yet, in all your intelligence and wit, you stick around.

Moreover, do you actually hate me just because I am a fan of the Cornhuskers? And I'M the freak? You don't even know me.

I couldn't stand Texas, period. The people, the weather, or the fist-sized mosquitos. I moved because of all that, and because a category 4 hurricane called 'Rita' demolished the appartment complex my wife, 2 year old son and I lived in. Didn't want to go back to that, so we 'relocated' back up here in God's Country.

Who is whitesnake?

Did Hell freeze? I think a KU fan just sided with me. Maybe feeling sorry for us now, but that would be hard to believe.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous KUHATER said...

KU Fan In Huskerland. You sir are the biggest fucking idiot of all time. KU the team that hasn't played anyone and your ranting and raving how great they are. I taunt you a second time by tell you to get a reality check, you have played count them- two teams with winning records this year and you don't deserve any respect at all. Your fatass of a coach is probably going to die in the game against missouri because he is going to realize that he is an idiot and can't coach worth a shit so thats why he built up a cheesy schedule that doesnt show shit. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUR FANS. You are a prick. O and when missouri does beat your asses, don't get on here and start opologizing for being o so wrong about your "beloved jayhawks" you probably only started liking them this year anyways, and noone wants to hear it beacause we know what you don't. News flash KU Stinks and always will, get over it, they have one ok season and suddenly they have a bandwagon of gay homosexuals. Stick to basketball atleast you can make it to the final four there, and then lose like always, because even there you guys will never win a national title LOL BECAUSE ROY WILLIAMS ALWAYS screws you over lol he screwed you over while coaching there and now he takes the title to UNC. haha

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ,

I am from Nebraska and I just wanted to say I love you. I love NE football too and I love all Big 12 schools. I would rather see NE beat all the other Big 12 schools, but if that doesn't happen, then I want to see a Big 12 school win the National Championship.

Once again, I love you AJ!

5:13 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Jeremy....congratulations on having sex with a girl.

Unless of course your son is adopted, in which I take it back.

Thanks for stopping by.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ,

I am from Nebraska and I just wanted to say I love you. I love NE football too and I love all Big 12 schools. I would rather see NE beat all the other Big 12 schools, but if that doesn't happen, then I want to see a Big 12 school win the National Championship.

Once again, I love you AJ!

6:14 PM  
Blogger The Big XII WarBlog said...

Hey AJ,

Congrats on having something in common with Coach Cosgrove.

You've been downgraded to the second most hated person in the state of Nebraska.

http://big12warblog.blogspot.com/2007/11/you-stay-classy-cornhusker-nation.html

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

KU fan in Huskerland here...

To AJ, first, keep your cool, dude. Yes, the SOS is low, but big deal, we're undefeated and you're not - at least we beat a team from Oklahoma while in Oklahoma. That's not logic, Aristotle, just a fact.

My lame logic? I just stated facts that are an anathema to you: KU ranks ahead of the pussycats in EVERY poll. Deal with it responsibly, or at least try. Your gay-bashing humor is very responsible too, and so witty.

The bird is goofy, I'll cede that to you.

As for the KUhater, you had me at "Sir," which is the proper way to address me, especially from lesser beings such as yourself, but after that, your entry was just one long yawning whine and wail replete with illogic, envy, expletives, and crass language. Other than that, oh boy, you really zinged me.

I'm wondering: did you audition for that "Cavemen" television series? Wait, those are actors, never mind, perhaps you're more fit for the Discovery Channel, National Geographic, or some reality TV series.

7:28 AM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

AJ:

Was I drunk again.....or was there a new post on here last night?

Husker4Yanks

7:59 AM  
Blogger dave31175 said...

Hmmm.... MU's highest quality win is over a ridiculously ranked KU team and AJ claims that should earn them the #1 position in the BCS?

And AJ, an MU fan, is calling KU's schedule weak?! Oh that's right, MU beat the mighty Illinois by 6 (before Illinois went on to lose to the mightier Iowa)...

Looks like someone has spent too much time in Nebraska, and yet still calls Nebraskans myopic and delusional.

Pot, meet kettle.

7:45 AM  

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