Out of your Missouri
“Sam Keller is the most gifted QB in the Big 12.”
I’m still finding it very difficult to wrap my arms around the ridiculousness of this whole situation. I mean, how do you go from being a fan of a crappy team for oh....your entire life...and then expect to be able to handle your team actually being good...like top 5 good? I mean hell, even if the Tigers took a nose dive right now, they still would have their most wins since the late 60's.
So with such a huge story developing in the conference, you would think the world’s greatest college football fans would be all over it right? You know them don’t you? The same fan base that likes to look down on people who cheer for other teams because they, “Just don’t understand what it’s like to root for a winner.” Aren’t you people supposed to have your finger on the pulse of the college football world? Aren’t you like the gatekeepers of all things college football? Aren’t you the chosen ones?
Well, apparently the chosen ones don’t give a shit anymore, because I’ve heard more sports radio talk about wacky trivia contests and fantasy football breakdowns this week than any other November in my 20 years of living here. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve already proven you clowns as frauds time and time and time again. But you’d think you’d at least have a bit of pride and self worth to at least pay attention to everything else that’s going on.
And speaking of being completely clueless…at what point did Bo Pelini die and become the patron saint of all things football? Didn’t that guy give up 900 yards to Brad Smith not too long ago? Did I see just a few weeks ago that the HIGH POWERED offenses of Auburn and Alabama scored a combined 58 points on the vaunted Bayou Bengals? If he's so great, how come nobody else wants him? Ever thought of that?
Don’t get me wrong, he’s better than the guy you are paying right now…who wouldn’t be? But you dipshits are walking right down the same path that just led you to nuclear holocaust. You’re like my neighbor’s lab who had an invisible fence put into his back yard. He’d walk along…ZAP. Look at it..walk along….ZAP. Stop. Stare. ZAP. Stare again. ZAP. 10 minutes later…ZAP. (right before you crap on the floor and lick yourself for 10 minutes)
Now do that for about 4 weeks, and you’ll get Husker Nation. You’d think you’d learn at some point don't you? I mean...how hard is it for you to look back and go, "You know..maybe we did get sucked in just a little bit in that whole NFL coach/recruiting/bringing-in-players-we-know-nothing-about-and-anointing-them-God thing? Isn't there at least ONE of you out there who sees this? Is it just me? Do I just have oblivious dullards cross my path every day?
* So now that Oregon is done, and everybody seems to have all the scenarios down...what do I think is going to happen between now and the BCS title game in New Orleans? Well, as you read this, some of my points may already be moot. But let me give you a taste of a few things I KNOW will happen.
- Michigan and Ohio State will be anointed the “greatest rivalry in sports” 500,000 times this weekend by the same parent network that calls Duke vs. North Carolina “the greatest rivalry in sports” 500,000 times…just months before the other “greatest rivalry in sports” takes place at Fenway park between the Yankees and Red Sox.
- Kansas will lose, and will lose bad. It may not be to Missouri. It may not even be to Oklahoma. But somebody is going to line up and pulverize that team. (Assuming they play somebody between now and 1/7/08 who has a better than 6-5 record.)
- Tim Tebow will win the Heisman. It doesn’t matter if Chase Daniel, Darren McFadden or Colt Brennan have better numbers. In the end, the voters will go with the guy from the biggest school that is closest to a beach of some sort. It’s tried and true…going back nearly to the days of the Romans.
- Nebraska will hire and unproven and unqualified coach…and he will be praised and showered with adulation the likes of which the world has not seen since the days of King Tut.
- Lou Holtz will be placed in a group home. Seriously….who the hell decides to put that guy on TV? He makes Trev Alberts look like George Plimpton.
- Sportscenter will say the names “Barry Bonds” and “Alex Rodriguez” 852,873,578,355 times before next Tuesday. Seriously….I’m considering writing my senators and asking them if we should revolt from the union. How much more of this coastal ESPN propaganda bullshit are we expected to take? Yes..they’re big stories. Shut the hell up already…we know. Barry took steroids and is going to jail. ARod makes a lot of money. Water is wet. Grass is green. Mangino is fat. We know.
- A large number of Nebraska fans who actually still care will continue to write in hateful comments to this blog and misspell words like “scrotum”.
PS – Special shout out to my Grand Island Independent readers. You have kept my faith that good ol’ fashion Husker myopia is alive and well. Thank you!