November 23, 2007

A Game He Just Couldn't Win


Au Revoir Bill Callahan.

As the clock ticks slowly with the all the rhythm and pace of a Tom Osborne press conference, I guess I can take time out of my busy day counting down my team’s quest to take over the #1 spot in the BCS poll (Last week of November no less) to address your sorry ass situation.

I’m quite certain we will spend many a day throughout the off-season, breaking down just how in the hell you went from “BCS Contender” to 5-7 and unable to keep opposing teams from marching on you like Panzers down the Champs E’lysess. I’m not really kidding about that. After the game, Bo Ruud actually told channel seven that he felt they were legit BCS championship contenders back in the summertime. Do any of you poor saps finally get it? Do any of you morons finally understand that your delusional and myopia-fueled expectations were so far out there, that no team on earth could reach them? (At least without crashing and burning in a fiery explosion equal to that of the Hindenburg.)

I don’t personally doubt that NU has more talent than a 5-7 team. Hell, I’m not even sure Bill Callahan isn’t better than a 5-7 coach. But the X-factor in this entire failed expiernent..as I’ve said from day one…is you.

Your desire..your absolute bloodlust to get back into the national spotlight was so out of control, so beyond reality you were willing to convince yourself of anything. And unfortunately for you…warnings from people like me were not only ignored, but simply brushed off as “jealousy” or the “inability to understand the greatness of Husker football.”

Tomorrow (or a few days after), your school will cut loose a coach that obviously didn’t understand the complete and total inability of you to hold a rational thought in your head. He said Joey Ganz and Sam Keller were neck and neck…you thought he was crazy. Bill Callahan downplayed the Big 12 North title and tried to convince others that nothing has been accomplished until you were able to win a close game. You instead made t-shirts.

Unfortunately for you, you’re now 5-7 and packing up your pads for another season. Teams like Purdue, Troy, Utah, Navy, Indiana, Houston, East Carolina and Nevada (remember them?) are gearing up for bowl games, while you light a candle and pray that you land either the head coach from Buffalo University..or a defensive coordinator with zero head coaching experience who’s defense has given up 28 points 4 of his last 5 games.

Yes, it’s a great time to be a Husker fan, as you are left with a long and dark winter to be alone with your thoughts. The national championship game is still 44 days away. 44 days for you to sit around….kick around your 1971 National Championship trash can while you watch College Gameday talk about teams whom you are absolutely convinced you are STILL 10x better than.

Perhaps someday soon you will get all this. Perhaps one day..after reading me type it for the 853rd time…you’ll realize that you aren’t that good. You were never that good. It’s not the coaches fault for sucking..it’s YOUR fault for believing in something that wasn’t there. I mean..if you have a buddy go in and buy a powerball ticket for you…do you blame HIM for your numbers not coming close?

Bill Callahan was brought in to do an impossible task…try and win on a consistent basis, for a group of fans and administrators who obviously have absolutely no clue what it takes to win…only that they used to do it a long long time ago. Callahan was screwed the second he signed his first contract. He brought in players. He slowly progressed. But when you people expected Jessica Alba to pop out of your cake…out sprang Phyllis Diller. If anything..the guy should be praised for holding you at bay for so long. And he should ESPECIALLY be praised for not cracking under the pressure of 1.2 million or so irrational, arrogant, myopic and dysfunctional assistant coaches, who all feel they know more than he did.

I’ll never say the guy was a great coach. You were never going to win with him..just as you’ll never win again without him. But regardless, he will be the link to your future for a long long time. I’d say the first time you’ll notice this is in about 4 years or so…when you finally MIGHT figure it out that today’s game has changed…and unfortunately, you haven’t.

Meanwhile, Bill Callahan has 3 million little pieces of proof that you’ll never again amount to anything.

Thanks for the ride Bill.

It’s been fun.
(Thanks Lincoln Journal Star for the NU-CU pics)

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best...post...ever AJ. So clear and perfect.

Yet it falls on (little nubbie) deaf ears yet again. Maybe one day...

Go Buffs! 65!

Mizzou rolls over the chickenhawks. Guaranteed! I've seen both teams first hand and one is a BIG F A T fraud. Mark it down!

12:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Thanksgiving AJ! and Happy Hate day II (fuck Kansas...)

Good Point about Pelini, the inpenetrable LSU defense gave up 50 points and like 400 yards rushing to a running back playing quarterback...

And husker fans think Cosgrove sucked..... Pelini is so overrated.....

6:24 AM  
Blogger NEBforOSU said...

http://www.denverpost.com/colleges/ci_7545352

Im sure the nubbies will be up in arms over that T-shirt.

I can't wait to hear how the nubbies will be back and will "Restore the Order" once again.. in about 20 years.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Big Head said...

Hammer, meet nail.

Nice work.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would love to take you in the back alley and kick your pussy ass you fuckiung cunt licker.

10:40 PM  
Anonymous KUHATER said...

AHHHH WHAT A COMPLETE DOMINATION OF KU. THEY JUST GOT THEIR ASSES HANDED TO THEM. AND ME BEING THE VERY INTELLEGENT PERSON THAT I MAY BE WOULD LIKE TO SAY, IN MY PREVIOUS RESPONSE I SAID THAT AFTER THE ASSWHIPPING WHICH WE ALL KNEW WAS COMING, ALL THE KU FANS WOULD LEAVE THE STADIUM, THROW AWAY THEIR BRAND NEW BLUE KU SHIRTS IN THE TRASH DUMPSTERS NEAREST THEIR EXIT AND GO HOME AND CRY LIKE THE LITTLE BAND WAGON BABIES THEY ARE. I SAW A SIGN AT THE GAME, KU TRADITION-EST. SEPTEMBER 2007 LOL.

KWHO, ROCK CHOKE WHATAJOKE.

SINCERELY YOURS,

KUHATER

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very, very well put. I have to hand it to you - you did an excellent job on this one.

It's going to be fun whipping up on NU for the next several years, Big XII North brethren...

GO BUFFS!

1:41 AM  
Anonymous F-K-U said...

Hooray, hoorah....Mizzou....Mizzou...

2:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Win, lose or draw, I sure enjoyed seeing Missouri play this year - even though they waxed Colorado (yep, I'm a Buffs fan). MU has bigger days ahead of them. I suspect they may be on the verge of greatness over the next 2 or 3 seasons. Congratulations to you and your team and I'll be pulling for you guys in the Cotton Bowl.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, if you hate Nebraska so much why don't you move? Is it your gay Omaha lover that keeps you there or is your $8.50 an hour stocking job at Nebraska Furniture Mart going to be hard to replace.

10:09 AM  

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