Wake me When the Bowls Start

You Creighton people have no idea how mad I am at you. Not only do you whine and moan about something so blatantly uninteresting (Enjoy that game against Houston Baptist tonight), but you’ve actually made me indirectly PULL for Nebraska basketball this past weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the opportunity to call you out for the Zima-sipping, Manheim Steamroller CD buying, quiche-eating West Omaha pricks you are during the slow part of early December….but making me subconsciously root for Nebraska on Saturday? Unacceptable.

Apparently I’m not getting through to some of you Creighton jackoffs. The point is simple: If you’re going to go around and brag about how many people you can stuff into the Qwest Center during your huge game against Arkansas State, then you automatically forfeit the right to root for Husker football. In fact, the laws of rivalry say you should LOATHE Husker football. Yet, for some reason…Bluejay basketball fan seems to disappear from about August through early December.

I’m not about to tell you who to cheer for…but…..Hey, wait a minute. Yes I am. Regardless of which side of the HuskerJay tree you stand on…let the record show that it’s annoying. If you’re a hard-core Husker basketball fan..well, you have your own issues. But at least you one tiny shred of decency.

* No, I haven’t forgotten about Husker football. Unfortunately, only the muffled sting of losing a few once-prized recruits is just about the only thing going on right now. Oh sure Quin has put his staff together, while several Husker fans I know are already talking about winning the North next year. (Because “ALL” they needed last year was hustle….like you can just flip a “hustle” switch on the back of shoulder pads. Idiots). But still, how many other ways can I explain your mountain of issues to you?

It’s still kind of funny to me how other programs can make legit hires, yet you really can't. I mean, as a Husker fan you see your program as the top of the heap no? Then how come Michigan was able to sway a great coach in Rich Rodriguez? How come Arkansas went out and got a proven winner (albeit worm) in Bobby Petrino? How come UCLA is close to an agreement with Norm Chow who…I know isn’t quite the “genius assistant” like Pelini…but come on..he’s Norm Chow and quite frankly, QP isn’t. I mean hell, even crappy Ole’ Miss got Houston Nutt…who correct me if I’m wrong, was a takeoff away from being named your head coach not that long ago.

If you don’t want to believe me when I say you’re lightyears away from being the relevant juggernaut you once were…then take a look around you and realize that you hired an assistant who has been turned down for head coaching jobs left and right in the past few years..while other “lesser” programs have gone out and gotten exactly who they wanted.

Think about that. We’ve got time.


* Speaking of things I don’t understand, where in the hell is child protective services, when Dora the Explorer takes off for days on end to go to the South Pole or save a baby Rhino from falling out of a tree? I mean, it was so bad she didn’t even know her mom was pregnant until her dad called her to tell her the babies were almost there. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? I don’t care what kind of magic backpack you have..that doesn’t make it right, especially when one of her best friends is a kleptomaniac who keeps stealing shit. (For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourselves lucky.)

* I realize I’m older now, and things that go on in your life are different now. I mean, I no longer go to punk rock shows and slam around…rather now I go to PTA meetings and neighborhood association picnics. However, one thing I'm really not down with is the practice of friends, neighbors and co-workers hounding you to buy cookies, popcorn, cappuccino machines and any other worthless set of crap, just so their kid can sew on a new patch or go to Fun Plex for an afternoon or whatever.

I was in sales at one point in my life, and let me tell you…if you can thrive in that profession..more power to you. But I DO NOT need the social stigma that comes with turning down the inevitable sign-up sheet that somehow constantly makes it’s way to my desk. (And of course, everybody else’s name is on the sheet, just to prove to you what a cheap ass you really are.) Thin mints be damned, I'm tired of it already.

* Finally, I really don’t care THAT much, but props to Andy Pettitte for manning up and admitting he took HGH, while a galaxy of other players simply hide in a closet or deny allegations through their lawyers. NOBODY is going to solve this issues in one fell swoop, and that’s even if you think it’s an issue to start with.

But with the gigantic cesspool that is Major League Baseball, it’s nice to see that at least once guy had the sack to admit he was wrong. I’m no Andy Pettitte fan, nor do I remotely like the Yankees or pretty much any other major league team for that matter. But I thought it was refreshing to at least see one guy do the right thing when he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar..or the needle in his ass..so to speak.

1 out of 86 is a pretty good ratio I guess if you look at the kind of guys who make up the league and professional players in general. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.