March 25, 2008

The Sound of Silence

As some of you may have noticed, the downfall of Husker football has somewhat put a damper on the Husker hating movement of late. As I’ve stated over and over to you people…what the hell is the point anymore? There is no LaTechH8er. Nobody is lining up to jump on the “” domain name are they? But we press on here at BEL as best we can. To those who are still with me...thanks.

I’m not going to lie to you, I’m not completely convinced Bo Pelini is even in Lincoln these days. With the exception of a few lame t-shirts at the mall, and a written statement after the latest Husker arrest on the 10 O’Clock news, it’s almost easy to forget you even have a team, let alone some rookie head coach with a 5 year old's temper. Not to say myopia and outlandish self-entitlement won’t raise it’s ugly head closer to the fall…you and I both know it will; However, I have to say I’m a bit disappointed in many of you.

But I guess I was wrong. I would have figured that by month three of the Pelini era, we would have already been exposed to the Bo gold coin collection, the Shawn Watson commemorative beer stein collection and of course the Ron Brown leather-bound playbook meant to look like a 13th century replica of the Oxford Bible.

Yet instead we are serenaded with the sweet sound of silence.

Soon, the spring game will be upon us, and Husker fan will poke his head out from the iron gates of his bomb shelter, wondering if the worst is over. Optimism will slowly rise. Prognostications will drift slowly toward the heavens. Joey Ganz will suddenly be NFL caliber by the time we reach June. Yet somehow…I sense that this whole thing..this scenario that knows no replication…is just now starting to hit some of you.

Perhaps you tore down that poster, and figured out you really can be humble and be a Nebraska Cornhusker fan? (You know which one I’m talking about.) Perhaps reality has finally set in, and the stone cold realization that everything you once knew is dust in the wind has settled in? Perhaps the stunning realization that perennial doormats Kansas and Missouri are BOTH light years better than you right now has made it through that red felt cowboy hat that has been fused on your head since the late 1970’s?

Regardless, something else is very very wrong in Husker nation…even in the wake of an unfathomable disaster, I can’t quite put my finger on it. As soon as I figure out what exactly it is, I’ll be sure to let you know.

** Why why why do they CONSTANTLY mess with baseball’s opening day? Ok, I get the Red Sox are going to be on ESPN 153 times this season, but do you put them on (damn near) Easter Sunday to get us to notice? Hell, why not play in Uganda, and play all year long? ESPN will be the downfall of society...mark my words.

** Looks like Kansas has a wide open path to the Final Four with mighty (and banged up) Villanova and Wisconsin standing in their way. Not to say that the Badgers can’t take the squaks on a neutral floor, I certainly think they can. But isn’t this about the WORST possible thing that could happen to KU? I mean, if you have a history of pissing down your leg every March, the LAST thing you want is a relatively “easy” road on paper. Not that it matters, even a loss to Villanova may not be as embarrassing as watching Roy Williams put the wood to KU by putting up 120 points in the National Title game. Hmmmm…that would be interesting.

** Thanks to Sean Weide who alerted me of a blog from some punk UNLV wannabe beat writer during last week’s NCAA tourney. Apparently dude bashed on Omaha pretty good because the bars closed at 1am and the steaks at Johnny’s Café sucked. (yes…Johnny’s…the place you only go with your grandma, or after a funeral..or in some cases, both). Now I’m not about to go ringing the bell to sing Omaha’s praises because (looking around)…needless to say you all have issues. And yes, the 1am law is butt-ass stupid and should be repealed by the idiots in the unicameral sometime around yesterday.

But to judge the city’s steak reputation on JOHNNY’s Café? Are you serious? That’s the same if I went to Maine on vacation, and wrote about how shitty the seafood was there because my Hush Puppies at Long John Silvers were cold. (The real question is…which one of you idiots actually TOLD them to go there? And if you did…did he not see that you were joking?) Look, I’m not about to defend Omaha to the death…especially compared to Las Vegas. But bashing steaks is something you just don’t joke about. Screw this guy, and his sushi eating ways.

** Speaking of things that aren’t funny, remember when MTV’s Spring Break was actually somewhat entertaining? Me neither, but back in the 90’s I remember stuff way more entertaining than Tia Tequila, acting ultra-trampish, while watching roided-up frat boys grind on some (barely) 18 year old dishrag from Louisiana with 7 grand worth of augmentation? Remember when they had concerts? Singled Out? Or my personal favorite…Buzzkill? I’m not sure if it’s the Spring Break concept that has gotten so shitty over the years, or whether it’s MTV itself? Don’t answer that, I already know the answer to that question.

Poor kids today…don’t even have a chance. (By the way…dudes…get a goddamn haircut. It’s not cool now…it wasn’t cool then. And yes, we had long haired freaks…only we called them “Hessians” and they listened to Bon Jovi while standing on the side of the wall out behind the Dairy Queen. They weren’t making a statement then and neither are you now. Cut it. Stop looking like a douche.)

Ugh, the season starts in 6 short months. Dear God, give me the strength to get through this horrible wasteland known as the off-season.


Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

First...let the record show we are in complete agreement. It dosn't matter who KU is playing as terms like 'easy' and 'hard' don't apply to games past the first round. As KU has shown clearly in past years.

However, take a look at your bracket, slaver. KU and NC can't meet in the NC game. They would meet in the final 4.

When your whole basketball experience revolves arround routing against a single team you'd think you could get it right.

6:40 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Fair enough Beaker. I haven't looked at a bracket since it started, so you got me there.

Let the record show that your abily to recognize your upcoming choke before it happens is admirable as well.

Oh well, there is always that North Division Runner-Up trophy to fall back on in football.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Go Buffs! said...


Iowa State wants to know where they can get one of those North Division Runner-Up trophies.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've always loved the term "slaver" coming from a citizen of lawrence where they drug 3 black me out of the city jail in 1882, yes that's 1882 as in 17 years after the civil fucking war ended and hung them for the murder of a larry citizen. Unfortunately, only one of the black men had been charged with the murder. The other 2 had been charged with drunk in public. Suck on that you santimonious beaker. And don't make me drag out the Fred Phelps photos in his ku gear protesting at another military funeral.

5:14 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said... you have clearly pointed out in previous posts...there is no North Division trophy. So one would assume there is no runner up trophy.

But we don't need it. We have that Orange Bowl trophy. I'd rather have it than a Cotton Bowl trophy. I think Rice has one of those.

5:16 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Wasn't underhanded at all...I'm pretty much one of them. Some people just take it more serious than it probably should be.

Applies to a lot of things really.

7:13 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

Actually, I'm a citizen of Omaha. And they hung a couple of black teenagers in 1919 for whistleing at white women.

Don't make me show pictures of Larry the Cable guy in Husker gear.

If you want to compare crimes against humanity we could go on forever.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

I believe it was only one black man hung back in the early 1900's in Omaha, and it was for allegedly raping a white woman. News reports say there was not much evidence and the black man never got the chance to defend himself. Can't place the name right now but all states are guilty of prejudice and hate crimes somewhere in their history. Even though it was so long ago, it is uncomfortable to think about and I wonder why it even surfaces in current conversations that are sports related?!? Somethin ain't right with some of you folks...

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. The KC Star beat reporter wrote in the paper that KU has a "2007 Co North Championship Trophy" in the case at the football offices.

That beaker is just lame. Oh and I'm a slaver when the Supreme Court had to force Kansas to desegregate it's schools. Kansas and thier lilly white state are simply hipocrites when they call Missourian's slavers. Take a look at Johnson County and call me a slaver.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fred, it would never get started without the sanctimonious chirping of beakers. During the penalty phase of their last run in with the ncaa, they made a desperate attempt to throw 2 black women (Marion Washington and Lynette Woodward) under the bus in a failed attempt to save their beloved mens hoops program. The beaks are good at talking tolerance but they're nothing but a collection of hypocrits that like to throw out the term "slavers" as though they were above any wrong doings.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, and beaker brains, it's rooting not routing. You'd think you could get it right.

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When did this site turn into a place for Beakers to bash Mizzou? Isn't there enough of that crap on KC Star message boards. This is a site about Nebraska. Go away assholes.

6:23 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

I use the term slaver because it tends to drive Tigers (especially the anonymous ones) crazy.

So crazy they will attempt to correct a stranger's spelling.

The KC Star said what? There is no such thing as a runner up trophy. Settle down slaver. You'll be relevant again in September.

Have fun ROOTING against a team tonight instead of FOUR WON.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nejhawk mentions Rice as having a Cotton Bowl trophy. Very true. They also have an Orange Bowl trophy and guess who else has an orange bowl trophy? Da Da BUCKNELL. So you're finally in their company. And by the way, the only reason you kansASS fans count final fours is because you don't win the big one. Unless of course you cheat. Both times probation.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ne jhak

Rice has also won an Orange Bowl. So has...are you ready? BUCKNELL. You seem to be forever associated with them.

3:14 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

All I know is that every time we play Anonymous U., we kick thier motherfucking ass.

You might be right about counting the final fours. Teams tend to get as far as they can and look back and say "See how good we are!" But I think BCS Bowls and Final Fours are a pretty safe way to measure a team. I don't think it's underachieving to celebrate ending the season in the top 10 of your sport.

I know for a fact that Bob Devaney Sports Center used to be filled with NIT banners until Doc Sadler came in and did the right thing by tearing them down.

8:26 AM  

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