The Sound of Silence
I’m not going to lie to you, I’m not completely convinced Bo Pelini is even in Lincoln these days. With the exception of a few lame t-shirts at the mall, and a written statement after the latest Husker arrest on the 10 O’Clock news, it’s almost easy to forget you even have a team, let alone some rookie head coach with a 5 year old's temper. Not to say myopia and outlandish self-entitlement won’t raise it’s ugly head closer to the fall…you and I both know it will; However, I have to say I’m a bit disappointed in many of you.
But I guess I was wrong. I would have figured that by month three of the Pelini era, we would have already been exposed to the Bo gold coin collection, the Shawn Watson commemorative beer stein collection and of course the Ron Brown leather-bound playbook meant to look like a 13th century replica of the Oxford Bible.
Yet instead we are serenaded with the sweet sound of silence.
Soon, the spring game will be upon us, and Husker fan will poke his head out from the iron gates of his bomb shelter, wondering if the worst is over. Optimism will slowly rise. Prognostications will drift slowly toward the heavens. Joey Ganz will suddenly be NFL caliber by the time we reach June. Yet somehow…I sense that this whole thing..this scenario that knows no replication…is just now starting to hit some of you.
Perhaps you tore down that poster, and figured out you really can be humble and be a Nebraska Cornhusker fan? (You know which one I’m talking about.) Perhaps reality has finally set in, and the stone cold realization that everything you once knew is dust in the wind has settled in? Perhaps the stunning realization that perennial doormats Kansas and Missouri are BOTH light years better than you right now has made it through that red felt cowboy hat that has been fused on your head since the late 1970’s?
Regardless, something else is very very wrong in Husker nation…even in the wake of an unfathomable disaster, I can’t quite put my finger on it. As soon as I figure out what exactly it is, I’ll be sure to let you know.
** Why why why do they CONSTANTLY mess with baseball’s opening day? Ok, I get the Red Sox are going to be on ESPN 153 times this season, but do you put them on (damn near) Easter Sunday to get us to notice? Hell, why not play in Uganda, and play all year long? ESPN will be the downfall of society...mark my words.
** Looks like Kansas has a wide open path to the Final Four with mighty (and banged up) Villanova and Wisconsin standing in their way. Not to say that the Badgers can’t take the squaks on a neutral floor, I certainly think they can. But isn’t this about the WORST possible thing that could happen to KU? I mean, if you have a history of pissing down your leg every March, the LAST thing you want is a relatively “easy” road on paper. Not that it matters, even a loss to Villanova may not be as embarrassing as watching Roy Williams put the wood to KU by putting up 120 points in the National Title game. Hmmmm…that would be interesting.
** Thanks to Sean Weide who alerted me of a blog from some punk UNLV wannabe beat writer during last week’s NCAA tourney. Apparently dude bashed on Omaha pretty good because the bars closed at 1am and the steaks at Johnny’s Café sucked. (yes…Johnny’s…the place you only go with your grandma, or after a funeral..or in some cases, both). Now I’m not about to go ringing the bell to sing Omaha’s praises because (looking around)…needless to say you all have issues. And yes, the 1am law is butt-ass stupid and should be repealed by the idiots in the unicameral sometime around yesterday.
But to judge the city’s steak reputation on JOHNNY’s Café? Are you serious? That’s the same if I went to Maine on vacation, and wrote about how shitty the seafood was there because my Hush Puppies at Long John Silvers were cold. (The real question is…which one of you idiots actually TOLD them to go there? And if you did…did he not see that you were joking?) Look, I’m not about to defend Omaha to the death…especially compared to Las Vegas. But bashing steaks is something you just don’t joke about. Screw this guy, and his sushi eating ways.
** Speaking of things that aren’t funny, remember when MTV’s Spring Break was actually somewhat entertaining? Me neither, but back in the 90’s I remember stuff way more entertaining than Tia Tequila, acting ultra-trampish, while watching roided-up frat boys grind on some (barely) 18 year old dishrag from Louisiana with 7 grand worth of augmentation? Remember when they had concerts? Singled Out? Or my personal favorite…Buzzkill? I’m not sure if it’s the Spring Break concept that has gotten so shitty over the years, or whether it’s MTV itself? Don’t answer that, I already know the answer to that question.
Poor kids today…don’t even have a chance. (By the way…dudes…get a goddamn haircut. It’s not cool now…it wasn’t cool then. And yes, we had long haired freaks…only we called them “Hessians” and they listened to Bon Jovi while standing on the side of the wall out behind the Dairy Queen. They weren’t making a statement then and neither are you now. Cut it. Stop looking like a douche.)
Ugh, the season starts in 6 short months. Dear God, give me the strength to get through this horrible wasteland known as the off-season.