April 19, 2008

Happy Dig-us Day 2008!!

As most of my long time readers know, today is a very special day. For decades now, generations of Husker minions have made their way to Lincoln for no apparent reason late in April. For generations, fathers have used this occasion as an excuse to drag their sons along and act like giddy schoolgirls as they fawn after 18-22 year old men. Smiles are everywhere. Hope abounds. Children laugh. Old friends shake hands. The pads popping and the whistles whaling can only mean one thing: Husker football is back, if only for one day.

Friends, I realize that I’m pretty much 100% dead spot-on when it comes to Husker football. I also realize that I know many of you better than you know your selves. It's sad, but that's how it is. So when people ask me, “Hey blog guy, the Huskers SOLD OUT their spring game. How do you like them apples?”, I’m once again compelled to sigh, roll my eyes until they hurt and give you the simple honest truth:

If you’re paying $95 bucks to watch a 5-7 team who lost their QB, their best WR and had one of the worst defenses in Big 12 history…then you’re not very smart. Regardless, if you want to waste your time and effort, trudging your fat ass down to a controlled practice (let alone pay to get in) just so you can stand in line for 3 hours just to get Andy Sand’s autograph…then you’ve got some serious issues.

“But crazy blog guy, you don’t understand the Husker family and tradition. It’s events like that that galvanize the Husker spirit and will get us back on track.”

Ok, the annual Spring “Dig-us” festival not withstanding, here’s where I start to have a big problem with you people. Now, we’ve talked about this a lot at the end of last year, and I kind of figured it would raise it’s ugly head again. And…just as I always predict correctly…it has. (Don’t know what I’m talking about? Grab your insulin syringes and get ready for the syrupy goodness of this dozy.) Yes, this isn’t just about football anymore, it’s about reconciliation…about hope…and now (gag) family.

Now that the great Husker Civil War of 2003 is finally over, it’s time for you all to unite in myopia and delusional judgment, and make yourself the goofy-ass annoying galvanized fan base that sparked this website in the first place. Now, I understand now that the GRF™ is gone, you all want to let bygones be bygones. You want to exchange tongues while going out of your way to get a glimpse of the guy who helped Tom Osborne park his car at the 1993 Orange Bowl. I get all of that. But what I don’t get is….did you hire Turner Gill and I didn’t realize it?

For you see, this great celebration of Husker “family” is riding on the shoulders of a guy from Ohio, with a grand total of 1 season of Husker experience in his closet. Funny enough, this was just one year after firing an Athletic Director who actually was FROM Nebraska, who bled red and helped you get through your glory years. Yet now, you now have turned your attentions the other way, and have devel0ped a blazing mancush on an outsider. A rookie. A farce.

Am I the only one who sees the irony here?

You have fired not one but TWO former Huskers over the past 5 years. You choose an unproven hothead who has already proven the tantrum abilities of a five year old over a lifelong Husker former quarterback, who not only played in Lincoln, but coached in Lincoln. (And yes, for more than one season.) Is anybody else confused by all this? Does anybody else see the irony at play here?

But make no mistake, Terry Bowden, Jerry Glanville or George O’Leary could have been hired last season, and this little event would still be described as some celebration of the Husker spirit. With Dr. Tom and his self-indulgent aura surrounding the program once again, the entire Husker empire has been taken to new and pathetic highs. Gone are the splinter groups of Pro-Solich vs. Pro-Callahan. Gone are the squabbles and the bickering of the past. The olive branches have been extended, and the Husker “family” has begun to heal.

And what the hell does this whole “family" thing mean anyway? We talked about this a bit last year as well, but apparently some of you haven’t listened. I’m still waiting for somebody to explain to me how some pictures on the wall of your office can make you tackle better. I’m still waiting for somebody to explain to me how Tommie Frazier and his giant boiler gut standing on the sidelines is supposed to help Joe Ganz figure out how to get a first down against Oklahoma. I’m still trying to figure out how the hell wearing a red golf shirt on the sidelines for one whopping game 5 years ago makes you some sort of prodigal son?

None of this is surprising and none of this is unexpected. I told you this the second Dr. Tom was “hired” that this would come to pass. I told you that you would get stuck in some time warp, desperately trying to find your moxy that has been shriveled up for so long that it looks like Joan Rivers’ uterus. I told you that your distorted self-portrait would result in a complete and total loss of common sense…just as I predicted last year. Just as I will predict this year.

And one other thing...Tom Shatel in this morning’s paper talked about how the “Nebraska way” was giving all out effort. The Nebraska way was giving your all and using good old fashioned hard work to get to the top. (Funny, I thought it was a shady strength program and thugs from the coast, but that’s neither here nor there.) Deep down in your soul, (if you push aside all the childhood feelings and glaring mancrush toward Ricky Thenarse first), do you HONESTLY think that in this day and age you can get back to the top simply by trotting out some walk-on from Fremont and having him “try his best”? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you truly believe that effort alone can propel you to victory?

Have you all forgotten that you tried that once? It was called the Mickey Joseph and Jerry Gdowski years, and it pissed a good many of you off. For hard work and all that crap was fine and dandy when it was Nebraska, OU and the rest of the crappy Big 8. But without athletes, skilled players and speed you were nothing but one big bowl disappointment after another. It wasn’t until Dr. Tom sold his soul to the devil, bringing in questionable characters and citizens, did you “get to the top.” Hell, even in the 70’s you wouldn’t have won those titles if Johnny Rogers wasn’t the athlete that he was. Funny how many of you forget things like that.

So in conclusion, I hope you enjoy your family reunion. I hope you can bury the hatchet, and share one big red-clad hug at midfield, as the Callahan years and the anger it sparked is swept under the rug. But while you’re throwing up more banners, nailing more old pictures to the wall and singing songs of reconciliation around the campfire…teams like Missouri, West Virginia, Boston College, Cincinnati and Oregon are recruiting speed, evolving their schemes and moving forward.

And besides, think of how many faded “Unfinished Business” t-shirts that could have bought on EBay?

PS - Look for some big changes coming to the blog in the near future.


Anonymous Grand Island Husker said...

Your pathetic. Your jealousy oozes out of your computer like your crank.


12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell me you listened to KOZN this week w/Kuglar and Severe giving away Spring tix via the classic 'most touching email' competition. After reading a couple of emails like "While hunting with my dad as a kid, we listened to the Huskers, and now I want my son to FILL IN THE BLANK", people called up sobbing like a schoolgirl that got dumped at prom.

And $95?? You know how much Ashland Meth that could buy? Ok, neither do I, but I imagine most of the people "tailgating" in the LJS parking lot have price sheets on it.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You goobers have to pay for your spring game??? Wow! You're fucking dumber than I thought!
I took my 4 year old to Folsom Field today, we met most of the players, they were gracious, and signed his hat down on the field, the free lunch was decent too. Old Buffs that went on to the NFL were welcomed on the grounds with open arms and were happy to sign anything you asked them too, at no charge. The game was fun too, and the price for a family of three to go and enjoy some spring scrimage with 17,800 other college football fans? $0.00

In Nebraska dollars that would be negative amounts, because you'd have to pay me to live in that over taxed cesspool.

I got to run, the Counting Crows are now playing for free too.
Yeah, it's the Counting Crows, but they were dumb enough to name a song after the shittiest city I've ever had the displeasure of living in, oh and it's free.

I hope you fucks choke on Runzas.

Dr. Buffenstien.

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations AJ. One of your better columns in a long while. As the arrogance of the Big Red faithful returns just like the swallows to San Juan Capistrano, the need for this column is apparent.

To all you Huskers out there. Congratulations on winning the all important attendance at a Spring football game/scrimmage competition. Let's see how you fare when you start playing the cream of the Big 12 instead of one another.

Go Tigers.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a Husker fan, but I don't disagree with what you've written at all. I would add, however, that if and when Pelini "fails" our fans that the fake family atmosphere will unravel quickly. That mask won't stay on. I've been around our fans long enough to realize that it's all about winning.

I think we will eventually have a good program again, but my guess is that it might be another decade or two. Stuff was really dire for Mizzou for a long time following Devine and now you guys are back.

9:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If people honestly think putting pictures back up and returning the walk on program is going to bring the Huskers back to glory, this is going to be one long season.

I give Pelini 4 years before he is either ran out of town or takes a new job elsewhere (likely the NFL).

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't believe all the glory that Tom Osborne gets. He is a self-indulgent fraud.

Who handpicked Solich and started the downfall of the program? Tom

Who recommended Steve Pedersen for the job of athletic director? Tom

Who comes sweeping in to the rescue when both these things backfire and takes no fault for either? Tom

Who also fought tooth and nail to stop the formation of the Big 12 because he knew once Texas was let in the conference things would never be the same again? Tom

Ethical? Ethical my ass. A shady strength training program that makes MLB look legit. Thugs and jerks that would either be in prison or on the streets if he didn't us them to win championships. Guys who go abuse woman and get a one game suspension against Kent State for it. Using a walk on program to keep guys in Nebraska instead of going to Kansas or Missouri and kicking Nebraska's ass. The guy is smarter than hell and knows exactly what he's doing, and what he's doing is not ethical. He's a sneaky, clever and cunning weasel. And he gets 1.7 million people in the 38th largest state in the nation to fall for it hook, line and sinker. Is there any wonder why he became a politician?

11:02 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Let the record show that Buffenstien is on fire lately.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous 11:02 lol, that was too funny, but so true. Osborne is a freakin' genius in how he is fooling a whole state by his antics.

God I hate Nebraska. I hate their fans, I hate how ugly the state is, I hate the weather there, I hate the geography, I hate how people brag about Omaha when it's one of the most boring, ugly and overrated cities in the country (yeah, we know, you have a zoo and a street where you can, gasp, eat on cobblestone and are this and that and some Omaha based writers living in Boston and New York said good things about the city, but I know the truth. You are still a Mid-sized Midwestern city that most people in this country couldn't care less about. I was born and raised there for over 20 years, and I will never ever EVER return to that fucking dump!)

Have fun packing on the pounds at one of your restaurants or going to be seen at Creighton games (fuck Creighton) or getting plastered with a 1am last call or recalling a mayor that is trying to save the one thing the city has going for it.

Can't wait for Pelini to throw a hissy fit and all of the "family" to ask for his head.

Time for me to go surf.

Go Missouri!

-Hater of the "Big" O

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ass Jockey:

No, you are not "100% spot on". You really do not get what being a Husker fan is all about. For that matter you really do not get what living in Nebraska is all about.

Someday when you are old and on your death bed or at the last minute before complete dementia sets in, you will figure it out. To bad it will be to late for you.

I do like to read your written word so keep it up and go smoke some more pot, crack or what ever good Tigers fans do to occupy their time until the next football season cranks up.


Just A Fan

5:02 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Let the record show, I ALWAYS give credit where credit is due. Therefore "Ass Jockey" is lame, unoriginal and unimaginative.

0 points credit for you..especially since you had a nice three paragraph rant that basically said nothing.

Go to school
Get smarter
Learn to talk shit.


6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ...Simply jealous we have the BEST and most intimidating fans in the country you PUPPY!!!

I swear you drink warm sticky loads

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently spring practice for trash talking was not very successful in the land of the corn.

Nice work AJ.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously, Nebraska fans have more disposable income than Tiger fans such as Buffenstien. Too funny that he goes on and on about how everything is free while Nebraska fans are shelling out money for the spring game. Reminds me of when Burger King has "free fries day" and every a-hole in KC shows up at BK and there's a line out the door. I'll bet he's the same guy that brags at work about how he got light bulbs for 69 cents a pack. What a jackass.

11:35 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Ya know, nothing breaks the Nebraska stereotype and screams sophistication like gaybashing.

Keep it coming Gomer.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Reading comprehension is a beautiful thing when used correctly.

"BUFF" enstein.

Wow. I guess it was a Freudian slip and we know who the Huskers are really worried about.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous Brad Burgess said...

Does anybody even remember at this point what made Nebraska "great" in the past? It had nothing to do with pictures, it had nothing to do with attendance at spring games, catchy slogans, or any of the other noise. Nebraska worked the walk on program to the NCAA limits (until they had to change the rules because of Nebraska). As AJ said, the price of "greatness" involved recruiting thugs like Phillips and the other thugs of his era. Nebraska was identifiable...they ran the "I" down your throat, and most teams couldn't contain it for an entire game. This worked until they faced a team with equal or superior athletes in the bowl games. Nebraskans weren't happy with 10-1 seasons, and god forbid you went 9-2! You greed mothers... nothing was good enough for you.

Now you have yet another new coach and system to put in place. You are already jacking up expectations so high that it is IMPOSSIBLE to attain right out of the box. For all we know, Bo could turn into a decent coach if given enough time. However, the only certainty in this equation is that YOU won't give him that time.

I still can't get over the fact that KANSAS ran up 70 points on you last year. Wow.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Brad Burgess said...

BTW, for Grand Island Husker and the rest of the Nebraska faithful...when are they going to start teaching contractions in your school system? At least 8 out of 10 of you contract the words YOU and ARE to the word, "your." It's not "your" (a possessive)..it's "you're" (a contraction). Those apostrophes aren't all that tricky if you just try them out.

12:22 PM  
Blogger GA Hill said...

You guys are hilarious.

We're idiots for paying to go to a Spring Game. And Nebraska sucks, it's a shitty state, overrated, et. al.

Well, doesn't this work with your arguments? There's nothing to do in Nebraska --> people pay to go to a practice/scrimmage. It makes sense with that view of Nebraska, doesn't it?

Nebraska football is this state's identity. It's really as simple as that. That's why 80,000 people pay to go to the game (by the way, $10 to go to anything is nothing, and the prices of tickets were wildly exaggerated--there were many people giving away extra tickets right before kickoff). So if you want to make fun of us for that, be my guest, I suppose.

However, I think it is equally comical that Dr. Douchenstien is bragging about CU's spring game being free...and then really hitting it out of the park pointing out that a whopping 17,800 people showed up for it. So CU cannot even fill up half their stadium by offering the game for free and having NFL players sign autographs for free? That's something to be awfully proud of.

Lastly, for AJ and others that refer to the "shady strength program:" maybe you guys should look into things before laying out blanket accusations. If you did any research, Nebraska's strength coach Boyd Epply developed and had manufactured Hammer Strength weight machines. They are still a patented technology. Schools from every corner of the nation came to Nebraska to study their S/C program. And every major program locker room I have gone into uses Hammer Strength machines. Boyd has sold thousands of these machines.

The point is that Nebraska was years ahead in the technology/science of weight programs, specifically for football. They understood before anyone how to train in explosiveness and very short bursts of speed/strength. And they were stupid enough to let Boyd Epply sell these machines to every other school in America. It drives me insane to this day how Nebraska didn't offer him a nice 8-figure bonus for keeping those in-house.

Were there guys who used steroids? You bet. But according to every older players that could really give a shit what people think of them at this point, they all maintain the very small number of guys that did were walk-ons that barely lettered, let alone contributed.

So you guys can bash Osborne and his staff all you want. If that makes you somehow feel better, then whatever, I guess. However, you cannot deny that TO and his staff knew how to coach the college game. I think that is evident in how so many of these guys eventually did in the NFL. Other than offensive linemen, you just didn't see too many Husker players go on to have Hall of Fame careers. However, there were so many who were all-time college greats because they were coached up to the max and schemes were designed around them. Not to mention so many people act like Nebraska was terrible from 1972 until 1994, then all of a sudden we had a great team. Let's not forget Nebraska had the 5th most wins in the nation during the 1970's, the most in the 1980's, and the second-most in the 1990's (FSU had one more win than the Huskers). I guess I would be pissed if the same team beat my favorite team every year for 30 years, too, but give credit where it's due.

All that said, another solid post, AJ. Husker fans are pretty desperate for things to get turned around (myself among the most), and we're ready to grab a hold of anything to make us feel a little bit better.

2:15 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

GA, TO knows the college game?

Hmmm...what former coach and anti-porn crusader was behind the hirings of both Solich and Pederson?

Seems like he might have forgotten about the college game a couple of times in the past.

In terms of Boyd Epply...you guys are so fickle it's hilarious. First, he is hercules, who is building perfection in the weight room. Then, he sucks and was never really that good anyway. And now, he's great again?

The point is not whether or not any of this stuff is true (which it is). The point is, you guys will believe in ANYTHING to make yourselves feel better. It's that delusion of grandur on a massive scale that makes you such easy targets.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy shit dude, give it a rest. Do you seriously care this much about hating something? What is that burns in you so damn much to hate a football team? You could have said "Husker fans love their football team and I dont" and you would have gotten the exact same point across. And you werent around Tom Osborne, you dont know him, and you dont understand the reasoning for his actions. Youre slander of other people is sickening. The fact of the matter is, Husker fans are better fans than Tiger fans and for some reason you cant stand it so you bitch and bitch until you cant bitch anymore. Youre still bitching though so you must be pretty obsessed and angry. Why not criticize youre own damn school for undercheiving for 40 years. As good as the Tigers have been lately, the Shitty Nebraska Cornhuskers still havent lost to Missouri's football program since the dark ages. It will probably happen this year, and good for those guys if it does.

Too bad Gary Pinkel's team has shitty fans like you, who instead of praising their own team, obsess on a blog about a team he hates. Youll probably be too busy thinking about what horrible thing you can say about some Husker fan or coach this year to notice Chase Daniel and the missouri tigers reach a milestone this year for the program when they beat NU at home.

And if you hate Nebraska so damn just move. Leave! Get away! Then maybe you wont be so annoyed. If you are, good for you.

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I love about MU, CU, and KSU fans. Their hate for NU is greater than their love for their own team. Live with your hate, write your stupid little blogs like the rest of the 14 year old girls do, and yes it is okay for all three of your fan bases to drink the drano. The results will make me happy.

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I personally know a couple players from the day. And yes steroids were widely used and ognored by the coaches. Idiots believe anyhting

6:53 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Wow, going on four years, and I've never heard the whole, "why don't you move" line. Wow, nice job Captain Original. I didn't make you click on it. You certainly didn't have to comment on it, and probably wouldn't if you didn't feel it was at least a little bit true.

Oh, and by the way, your 14 year old sister's blog doesn't get this many hits. Oh, and you know what makes me happy? Knowing that 18 paragraphs bugged you enough to reply.

Think about that Cletus.

PS - You know what else makes me happy? Knowing you like I do, and knowing it kills you inside to give up 117 points to KU and Missouri in 120 minutes of football. Grab a grownup and have them do the math on that.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"As good as the Tigers have been lately, the Shitty Nebraska Cornhuskers still havent lost to Missouri's football program since the dark ages."

Hmmm, I would have sworn I was there to witness the 41-6 ass beating by the Tigers last year. Intelligence must hurt for some "Shitty Nebraska Cornhusker" fans. OPS has their work cut out.

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Eric said...

Wow, I apologize for my comment on the previous post. The vitriol is back!

I'm amazed at these gullible goobers. Keep fighting the good fight.

9:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, I'm not trying to go with the "Why don't you move card" here, but honestly, why don't you move? A lot of people that read your blog wonder why you live in a place you hate so much and don't live in a place you like, such as Missouri. I moved halfway across the country once because I didn't like where I lived.

Maybe you've explained it and I missed it. I'm kind of a new reader.

Is it one of these reasons?...

1. You actually like Nebraska and Missouri isn't all it's cracked up to be.

2. You don't have enough scratch to move you and your family and all the shit your wife has collected over the years 180 miles down I-29.

3. You have overbearing parents that live in KC and need a buffer zone.

4. You've tried like hell to get out but found out you're not employable by anybody but your present employer.

5. Your wife is from Nebraska, doesn't want to move, and makes all the rules. So if you move, the pussy isn't coming with you, and you're going to have a significant legal bill if you do while she fucks the gardener seven ways to sunset in the house you paid for.

Come on, man. It's gotta be something.

9:25 PM  
Blogger Sammy Vegas said...

great article - 99% true. but the other 1% of us who used our in state tuition and got a junior college degree from UNL just like to tailgate, drink, and get lapdances.

BTW, do you pay some of these assholes to write these comments?

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check out the big brain on Brad.. Way to come strong with the grammar smack, big guy. You get your School House Rock on, boy.

Just an observation, AJ. When Dr. Buffenstein tells Husker fan to eat a dick, he's on fire.

When anonymous Husker thinks you drink warm, sticky loads, he's just another example of an idiot fan base going back to the gay bashing well.

I'm sure this has escaped you, but it's almost like you're (just in case Brad is keeping tabs) biased against us or something.

What's up with that?


Another fuckin' Husker fan

10:31 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - Isn't Mark the Corn Ridden Shit guy due to appear out of nowhere soon?

11:05 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

To the guy who asked why I don't move; I get a bit bitter about that question, because people ask it here 365 days a year. But, since I liked your creativity, I will answer yet again..just for you.

1) I like Omaha. I've lived here a long time. I'm not about to uproot my family, quit my job, sell my house just because I don't like the football team.

If I hated everything else, that's one thing. But in the big grand scheme of things, how important is you liking the same team as your neighbors? It's not that big of a deal. It's not life or death.

2) The world needs me here. Husker fans live in a closed society. A big red curtain falls over the state, because there are no outside media outlets here, and those that are here..would never report anything bad.

You all root for the same team, and although it's somewhat admirable and noble...it's really annoying if you dont' cheer for the Huskers.

So, thanks to technology, and a god given talent to vent....I simply started up a quick blog with Blogger to rebut some friends of mine at work..and poof. You get the blogging megasite you see here.

Oh, and the artwork and the domain names were donated. I put in about an hour..maybe two a week during the season into the blog. It's not that hard. In fact, the subject matter is all around me, so it pretty much writes itself. Hell, just watch the 10:00 news on a given night in the fall, and you'll see what I mean. (Hell, Kevin Kuglar alone gives me several months of material)

Hope that answers your question.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am VERY proud that there is more to do in our state than watch a spring game.
The World Series.
NBA Playoffs.
Stanley Cup.
The Broncos.
And about 4 other college teams to watch. And that's just the tip of the Mountain.

Oh and miles and mile of land not used for corn, and burning piles of shit.

You still suck, and your shitty team still lost last year.

Yeah, it was free. It's nice when a school gives back to the fans instead of squeezing them for every fucking dime it can.

Dr. Buffenstien.

7:33 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

I'm enjoying Buffenstein's new-found off-season hatred. Well done.

As for CU, even though Charles Johnson never croseed the goal line in 1990 (Screw the 5th down..he never scored), I've always felt a kinship with the Buff fans.

However, I was reading some papers yesterday and came across the big 4/20 celebration on campus? I mean, i'm all for hanging out and being mellow...but that's one hell of a lot of burnouts.

Good thing Pearl Street is so fun and the town is so beautiful...cause ya'all got some freaky dudes hanging out at that school.


7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Hmmm, I would have sworn I was there to witness the 41-6 ass beating by the Tigers last year. Intelligence must hurt for some "Shitty Nebraska Cornhusker" fans. OPS has their work cut out."

If you had read the context of the post you would have noticed that I was talking about Nebraska at home where Mizzou hasnt won in years. My grammar may have sucked, I apologize.

And AJ, I find youre blogs funny but you cant blame people for wanting to know why you dont move based on the contexts of youre posts at times. I understand its satire but you come across as simply miserable at times living where you do. But it seems you like omaha based on what you said. I also have quite a few friends in Nebraska who hate Nebraska so youre nothing new. I certainly dont look down on them for it though. Except for the one who liked NU in the 90's and then starting hating them later on. WTF? is all I can say to that.

When youre the minority, you can expect people to give you crap about not being a husker fan in the middle of huskerdom. Anywhere you go where a fanbase is passionate about their team, this will happen. Im sure it gets downright annoying at times though so I understand.

10:34 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Oh don't get me wrong: If I was a Chiefs fan living in Denver, or a Cardinal fan living in Chicago, I would probably write the same sort of blog.

And yes..I realize that I probably come off as being way more miserable than I really am....but if you think about it...who the hell is going to read a blog about a guy who writes how great it is to go shopping at Village Pointe? Or how wonderful the old market is?

That simply isn't worthy of even mentioning...so I don't.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And with all of those great activities at your disposal, Buffenstien, you're still here talking shit about a state, people and team that you claim are inferior to your own?

But, let's review that great set of activities.

World Series - Only showing, swept by the Sox. Nice work, butt plug, next time maybe they should let their husbands play.

NBA Playoffs - Continuing the sweep trend, Lakers in 4. Let's see, you are 0 - 4 against them on the year. Do you really expect that to change by giving up 36 to Gasol? You have no answers on the inside, but I guess if you are excited about backing into the 8th seed, knock yourself out.

Stanley Cup - One and done. Joe Sakic played with my grandpa. He gets less ice time than Tyler Weiman.

The Broncos - Jesus, where do I start? It's not 1998 anymore and that horse toothed Elway and his ego aren't running the show.

Wow, you got CU, CSU and Air Force? Hmmm.. how do I choose? Let's see, let me bandwagon with the team that claims a National Championship* (yes, you get an asterisk. We all know that they really shouldn't be called that. Georgia Tech was the only team deserving, because they had to play every series of every game with only 4 chances to move the chains. If you want to pretend like that extra down didn't make a difference, be my dilusional guest)

Those are intramurals, brother....

PS. I saw Ralphie getting butt fucked by an Angus bull, what's up with that?

PPS. There's this new fangled invention called a television and it lets people who aren't actually at the game, see the game. It's great, because the rest of us can actually watch good teams in the NBA, NHL, NFL, and MLB.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Screw the sports. The Rocky Mountains alone make Colorado a superior state to Nebraska. I'll admit to that, and I'm originally from Nebraska!


4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It's great, because the rest of us can actually watch good teams in the NBA, NHL, NFL, and MLB."

And none of them are from Nebraska are they? Oh that's right you don't even have shitty NBA, NHL, NFL or MLB teams in Nebraska.

Just the fabulous Huskers. Explaines a lot.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like I said AJ, I wasn't trying to pull the "Why don't you move" card. I didn't know you liked Omaha at all. I was honestly curious why you didn't move if you hated your surroundings so much (although I strongly suspected pussy as your main reason). I stand corrected. Thanks.

9:54 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

You know what you're response should be to the "Why don't you move???" question should be?

Well honnestly it should be what you said already but let me put it more bluntly for our fellow Nebraskans.

Nebraska is a State AND a University. But the State of Nebraska is different than the University of Nebraska Cornhusker Football team.

Pay attention because I know that most of my fellow Nebraskans have never even given this the slightest thought. What makes a state are the people, laws, and way of life of that state. What makes a football team is the people who play in and coach it. Only a complete morron would confuse the two so completely that they would assume they were a 'package deal'.

There is good news though, AJ. As the one person in my family thats a graduate of a school outside the state, I can assure you that the 'deprograming time frame' is only about 6 months. But I imagine that's an average. Some people may take a year and others...might just need a weekend in Vegas.

10:06 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

James, you are correct. I don't know why everybody doesn't live in the mountains.

And NE..I know what your'e saying, but think about this: Have you EVER met anybody who moved to Nebraska and then became a hard core fan? It just doesn't happen.

Oh sure, you might have some people move in and then casually root for them..maybe evne buy a sweatshirt or something.

But NOBODY (aside from Tom Shatel)...moves to this state from somewhere else and embrases the Husker culture.

It simply doesn't happen.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only 14 year old girls have blogs... you are such queer bait.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And none of them are from Nebraska are they? Oh that's right you don't even have shitty NBA, NHL, NFL or MLB teams in Nebraska.

Well, by that stellar reasoning, I guess Hawaii is a shit hole too...

PS. By the way, I love all the assumptions that all Husker fans are in Nebraska (it's not even close to the truth). I have 2 NFL teams, 2 NBA teams, 1 NHL team, 2 MLB teams, and 3 D-1 schools within 60 minutes of me and there are 3 more MLB, 2 more NHL, 2 more NBA, 3 more D-1 schools, and 1 more NFL team in my state. I've got the mountains and the beach and I would still pay $10 to go see the Husker's spring game so your argument doesn't hold any water, but please, continue on with your superiority dance, it's highly entertaining

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is a link about how Mizzu is getting it done off the field, succes on the field is sure to follow!


Go AJ, to Tigers!


11:58 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

I haven't heard the word "queer bait" since 1983.

Nice going gay wad.

(PS - If there is redneck gaybashing involved for no appearnt reason, look no further than random anonymous Husker fan.)

4:44 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - I don't care about "off the field" behavior. The guys getting in trouble are kicked off the team.

They are not warshiped and falsely declared martyrs, as the red-clad masses mock anyone who even suggests there is wrong doing.

Then again, Mizzou doesn't have a sign on the front door that claims they have the "worlds greatest fans" either.


4:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon @ 3:49pm - I'm guessing San Francisco. Do I get a prize?

8:06 PM  
Anonymous MothMan said...

Man AJ you are so jealous of the Nebraska faithful it is not even funny. It just kills you man.

I hope a clan of 30 Husker fans attack you and they all blow their warm, sticky, pasty, hot, salty, pearly white cum all over your face.


10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it actually says "Through these gates pass the Greatest Fans in College Football.". Visiting fans have to pass through those gates as well and it doesn't say anything about them being excluded.

It's pretty standard for the scoreboard at Busch Stadium, a venue in the great state of Missouri, to display "Welcome to Busch Stadium the home of baseball's best fans" which is pretty exclusive.

Just thought I'd point that out and let me know if you need anything else from me

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Do you remember seeing this article about the gun (among other things)?


Being worshipped as a god in a state must have warped Osborne's thinking. Having a successful coach who also talked about god must have warped the Husker fans thinking.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and how about this little snippet from our good friends down in Norman..

check me out

Right there at the top
"Welcome to the greatest fans in intercollegiate athletics! OU coaches, student-athletes and staff appreciate your loyal support."

can you believe the nerve? Proclaiming themselves not just the greatest fans in college football, but in intercollegiate athletics!

11:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well if you posted your address the gay bashing wouldn't have to be over the internet. :)

2:01 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

It appears the springtime is bringing on a rash of man on man comments to my blog.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...but jeez, you could at least be a bit more original.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 10:38 p.m.

So that's what that white ring around Bo's mouth is in the "Got Bo?" t- shirts. Nice to know.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon @ 3:49pm - I'm guessing San Francisco. Do I get a prize?

Yes. Your next 5 posts here are free. See AJ for the details. ;-)

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh so sorry "anon" to see your jealousy of Ralphie, I can understand it though. I'd be jealous too if my mascot was a hayseed that looked like the results of Chris Burke, a bottle of Mad Dog, and long night with a Wacky Waving Arm Flailing Inflatable Tube Man. Of Course I'm not sure where you saw Ralphie getting butt fucked, or how you could ascertain that she was taking it in the poop chute to begin with, I must have missed that photo, animal and inter-species porn must not be as readily available out here as it is in Omaha. Of course there are no Kum and Go's, so that must be where you buy that stuff.

The Rockies, Avs, Nuggets, and Broncos might not be all that great, but it's more than Omaha's got right now. So after calling me butt plug, I pretty much skimmed over the rest.

As far as the other college sports choices, my point is that usually the fan base is that, the fan base of THAT program, not the "well I'm a Husker fan first, then I sometimes go watch the Mavs play" Something I heard from more than one UNO grad.

Yes there are many things to do out in Colorado, but to chastise me for posting here is laughable. Where do I start? You're a fucking Husker fan posting on a site that makes fun of you, now I know you're probably the typical Husker fan, like 99% of them you never went to school at UNL, so you're not defending your school, oh now I remember, you all have fucking egos that won't allow you get past anyone not liking you! Must be why two of your awesome fans were reported in the media threatening people's lives. At least the one in Counciltucky got arrested...Of course he was, the Iowa cops didn't agree with the lunatic. Of course I've lived among you before, I know that "Class" is not a word whose definition is truly known buy Husker fans. Vandalism, destruction of personal property, and assault are, but not class. Now true, I am not as busy out here in Colorado as I was in Nebraska. See in my line of work when people take care of their bodies, they don't have to come and see me as much. Plus, I no longer work in an E.R. on Saturdays in Omaha during the fall either, so I got time....which is nice.

I would never call those who hate you jealous of the Huskers, because it just isn't there. We laugh at you because most of you never attended school there, and feel that you're somehow entitled to ultimate respect because one time the school that you never attended had a football team that was good. Last year showed you assholes in the national spotlight for what you really are, for what those of us non Husker fans who live or lived in your state knew all along, what a bunch of fucking hypocrites you fans are. And yes I assure you the rest of us Big 12 fans found humor in it all. When NU fans aren't around, and it's just every other Big 12 fan in the room, a funny thing happens..We all get a long. Usually because we actually attended the school that we cheer for, but mainly it's because our egos just aren't that big. I've met surgeons with smaller egos than the average Husker fan. Trust me when I say that is not a compliment.

As for rubbing the national championship shit in my face and every other Big 12 fan out there, I could care less to be honest. When I wake up in the morning, it has now effect on my day, CU is where I went to school, it's not my identity.

Seriously, drop the "GOT BO" thing, it's fucking retarded, tired, and pathetic. Plus, the fucker has yet to win you a game!
Remember ALL of your past, and maybe you'll learn from it.

Ahh who the fuck am I kidding, the high schools didn't teach you that kind of shit, and I'm sure that Metro Community, and the Kennard Kollege of AgriKulture didn't either.

Dr. Buffenstien.

Yeah, there are some freaks out here, and they do love the smoke, but I can assure you they're just as many people lighting up behind closed doors everywhere else at that same time across the nation. Boulder wouldn't be the same with out them. I have to laugh after seeing that footage, and then reading in Forbes how Boulder is rankes the smartest city in the U.S.

6:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


The Rockies, Avs, Nuggets, and Broncos might not be all that great, but it's more than Omaha's got right now.

Who said anything about Omaha? I have the Giants, Niners, Warriors, and Sharks, but there are many more choices than that here. Your original point, which I'm sure you've forgotten now that a few days of Rocky Mountain bong resin have coated your lid (ya, I can generalize too) was that the only reason we are stupid enough to pay $10 to see a spring practice is because we (the collective Husker fan) don't have anything else.

Ahh who the fuck am I kidding, the high schools didn't teach you that kind of shit, and I'm sure that Metro Community, and the Kennard Kollege of AgriKulture didn't either.

Ohhh, education smack. Clearly, you are impressed with your own. I've seen your posts, so I'm not, but it makes it that much more entertaining.

As far as the other college sports choices, my point is that usually the fan base is that, the fan base of THAT program, not the "well I'm a Husker fan first, then I sometimes go watch the Mavs play" Something I heard from more than one UNO grad.

Well, at least I can check scientist off the list of possible applications of your supreme education. I heard a couple of folks from Denver say that the Nuggets are going to go all the way this year. Therefore, I must conclude, all Denverites believe the same thing and by extension, since Denver is in Colorado, all Coloradans (or, is it Coloradoans, forgive me, I didn't attend your schools) do as well.

You're a fucking Husker fan posting on a site that makes fun of you

Ahh. So I should only post on sites that share the exact same opinions as me? Isn't that exactly the same minded behavior that you are claiming makes up the Husker fan base? And you think I'm here because I give two shits what you think about me or the team I'm a fan of? I don't even know who the hell you are.

I would never call those who hate you jealous of the Huskers, because it just isn't there

You are on complete rant auto-pilot, aren't you? Where did I say anything about anyone being jealous of the Huskers? You are either a fan or you're not. I am, you are not. You are the one claiming superiority in just about every concievable way, yet supposedly, I have the ego? I can almost hear you sparking up that joint.

See in my line of work when people take care of their bodies, they don't have to come and see me as much

Yes, yes, I get it. As if the Dr. Buffenstien signature wasn't enough to clue folks in, the constant back stroking over your superior education and all of the references to the health care industry, we all get it. Average life expectancy in Colorado is a whopping 4 months more than Nebraska. Maybe you should practice in Hawaii and really relax, I mean, what good doctor would actually want to be busy helping people? Sounds like we are all better off with you sitting on your hands.

Seriously, drop the "GOT BO" thing, it's fucking retarded, tired, and pathetic. Plus, the fucker has yet to win you a game!

Well, we don't disagree on everything. It's lame, but then again, so is You still suck, and your shitty team still lost last year. Boo hoo. You don't want any Husker fan to remind you of anything in the past, then turn around and remind every Husker fan of the past where it fits for you. Isn't that the pot(head) calling the kettle black?

Another Uneducated Husker fan

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on a well done article today, AJ.

Go Tigers!

6:57 PM  

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