April 18, 2006

Tom Osborne and Nebraska - You guys deserve each other

Pretty much every day, as a non-Nebraska fan living in Omaha, I run into instance upon instance upon instance of Husker myopia and obsession. Whether it's Dave Webber CRYING on TV after the Huskers made it to the CWS, or Tom Shatel blathering on nostalgic about some great Husker memory he has (Even though he went to Mizzou and graduated from there), I have learned to expect Husker-ism and reality to clash from time to time.

I'm used to play-by-play of football games being blasted throughout my local Target store. I'm used to dealing with traffic caused by 60,000 people heading to Lincoln to watch a SCRIMMAGE. I'm used to people in my office talking about games that will be played 6 months from now. I'm used to all of this stuff.

However, what I'm not used to is situations like these that are so mind-numbing, so blatantly lame, I just have to shake myself to be sure I'm not in some sort of dream world. No, I'm not talking about Shevin Wiggins and his cousin banging a couple of 14 year olds. No, I'm not talking about the current football coach calling another group of fans "fucking hillbillies", even though his own mascot has a fucking ear or corn in his pocket. No, I'm not talking about any of these things.

I'm talking about Tom Osborne for Governor.

On the surface, this makes total sense. Minnesota elected a governor who was a Pro Wrestler, and didn't have any political experience. California elected an immigrant movie star, who in turn pissed the state off so much, that they hate his guts now. But Nebraska electing Tom Osborne for governor pretty much takes the cake. Who else to elect, but somebody who truly represents a majority of citizens in this state. TO HELL with drought relief in the panhandle...to HELL with rising crime and gun control in Lincoln and Omaha...to HELL with a meth problem that is still within epidemic proportions. TOM OSBORNE WON FOOTBALL GAMES! And damnit, if that's not a representation of what the people want...I don't know what is.

But it doesn't stop there. Tom Osborne reflects the true personality of a state so boring, that the Pioneers didn't even bother to set up more than a few dozen townships. Tom Osborne hates porn...just as I'm sure all of you do as well. Tom Osborne is ADAMANTLY opposed to expansion of gambling in Nebraska, even though Douglas, Sarpy, Lancaster and pretty much every other county touching a metro area voted for it. Tom Osborne doesn't have time to worry about things like building ethanol plants to give thousands of future Nebraskans a chance to work and become trendsetters in the global game of ecology. Tom perfected the option game! Do you know how hard it is to win in college football running an offense that was designed for teams prior to the first World War?

According to Vote-Smart.org, Tom Osborne has voted against bills within the NAACP 74% of the time. He voted against bills sponsored by the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights 89% of the time. T.O. officially has "No opinion" on the issues of Military tribunals for terrorists and increased application hurdles for student visas. T.O. strongly supports internet regulation and censorship. T.O. is against gay rights, women's rights and the school of thought that says abortion should always be illegal, even in the case of insest, rape or mother's health.

If that doesn't sound like today's typical Nebraskan...I don't know what does.

Look, I'm not about to tell you how to vote. That is what makes America great, and separates us from other countries. If you want to write in Scott Baio for Douglas County sheriff, damnit...you should be able to. However, DO NOT sit here and lie to me and say he's the best candidate for the job, because he really isn't. The guy has been in public office for four years....sponsoring only two bills...one on steroids in schools and agents for college athletes...HARD HITTING STUFF that affects you each and every day I'm sure.

You only need to go back to 1995 to see what TO is really about. Like it or not...accept it or not, Tom Osborne changed his methods of recruiting football players in order to win games. Instead of signing hard working kids with great grades and high moral stature, TO was sick of being Bobby Bowden's bitch, so he recruited thugs and hooligans. Whether it was Christian Peter, Scott Baldwin, Terrell Farley or Lawrence Phillips, Tom Osborne...in the end...was about winning more than his personal character. You can call me a liar. You can call me every name in the book....but that's what it comes down to. Tom Osborne sold his soul to win football games, even if that meant setting aside his personal beliefs.

If that doesn't matter to you....if you think he's the BEST person for the job of leading the state...then by all means, vote for Tom. If you're ready for the National media to mock you for another few years...something you all HATE...vote for Tom. If you want to solidify this state as a hard-core bastion of conservativism....vote for Tom. If you want a man who will do whatever it takes to win...even if it means going against his soul. Vote for Tom.

In the end, it comes down to who represents you the best. And as a whole...I can't think of anybody better than Nebraska to set aside progress, idealism and experience for the opportunity to vote in a guy who obviously knows how to win football games. And let's be honest...winning is more important than the issues that plague society and the state as a whole isn't it?

God have mercy on our souls.



Blogger tjelf said...

Is Frank Solich running for Lt Gov?

4:59 PM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

Problem in every election is that you have to make a choice between the candidates for office. Right now, there are 4 candidates. One token Democrat who signed up to be the party's latest sacrificial lamb. A financial advisor who's claim to fame is dispensing financial advice to soccer mom's between soap operas. A career politician who was appointed to office who's claim to fame is pandering to the West Omaha vote in the OPS debacle. Either that or appointing the brilliant Lorilee Byrd to office. And the former football coach, who does have a PhD and the endorsement of the 2nd richest man in the world.

You may not like Tom Osborne; I understand that. But let's face it, he's more qualified than any of these other candidates.

It's like any other election; usually you have to hold your nose and vote for the least offensive candidate.

8:32 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Point taken..but is he better than the current governor? At least he was an elected official at the state level who was voted into office for something more than being able to spot a tough walk-on fullback from Scottsbluff.

Kidding aside, you and I both know he's going to win...so there's really no point in complaining about it. I'm just gearing some of your bretheren up for the inevitable making-fun of you session that is sure to come from the National media. And anybody around here knows, hard core Husker fans HATE the national media when it's not in a postive light.

9:10 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

How is Osborne even qualified? He wasn't qualified for Congress-- he won on name recognition. OK, so he was a Congressman... just means he got paid to do nothing-- and his voting record proves it.

Don't believe Osborne is not qualified to hold public office? Find me a single topic he made a comment on during the debates. He didn't answer a fucking question. That makes him a great politician, and by definition a complete moron.

I'm glad I'll be gone shortly after Osborne may be elected. I won't have to deal with this shit for long.

Nobody deserves to win on the "I've won football games for this state" platform.

You want to see a real football coach? Go research Mike Ditka. He turned down an invitation to run for the Seante out of Illinois-- because he knew he would get elected for all the wrong reasons. Sensical, appropriate. Ditka did the right thing.

Welcome to Nebraska-- where the N stands for knowledge.

Oh yeah-- in a related 'you've got to be fucking kidding me' bit of news. Also running for office is Shane Osborn, who I believe crashed his plane somewhere in China. How does that and the fame you gained form it make you worth our time? Then again, I heard his idol was Brook Berringer.

12:57 AM  
Anonymous The King of Fremont said...

I agree, TO is more quailified than any of the other canidates...more quailified to coach football. Clearly, the only reason that TO was elected to Congress was the sparsely populated western part of the state only recognized his name. So, in a way he was "appointed" the congress by western Nebraska.

Again, I agree with AJ, TO will will. This is very unfortunate for the state. Long live King TO!

12:23 PM  
Anonymous NG said...

Why don't do something more challenging like running sound at a baseball game. I heard only Harvard grads are allowed to do that.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous MavRho said...

You don't have to like Governor Dave, but it is not right to say to say he pandered to West Omaha. He is against school district consolodation. That's why he vetoed LB126 and supported LB1024. He also pissed off alot more voters in OPS than he may have gained in MPS.

10:35 PM  
Anonymous MavRho said...

Oh, and talk about pandering. The 2nd richest man in the world is also about the most liberal man in the world. Not a problem in my book, unless you are endorsing the most consevative candidate on the ticket. Tom Osborne-against all abortions including those of rape, incest and endangering the mother's life. Warren Buffet-biggest contributor in the WORLD to planned parent.

10:42 PM  

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