August 20, 2006

2006 Opponent Preview: USC


September 16th
Los Angeles Coliseum
USC Trojans



Last Bowl Game: 2005 Rose Bowl (Natl Championship game)
Returning starters offense: 4
Returning starters defense: 6

Official Huskerh8er odds of a Husker loss: 100% (Richard Simmons has a better chance at judging a Miss Hawiian Tropic Bikini contest than the Huskers do of winning this game.)



Lucky for some of you, we've already talked about this game in great detail. So therefore, I will spare you any of the 10,532,922 reasons why Nebraska gets their ass kicked in this game. And no, just because your new scoreboard is done, doesn't mean I think you will win now.

One thing we didn't touch on before was the tune-up games before this match-up. Nebraska will have two games under their belt opposed to USC's one. However, La Tech and the juggernaut known as Nicholls State aren't quite the same as USC taking on Arkansas on the road. One thing Colorado has shown us over the years, is that tough road games...even losing tough road games can do nothing but help you in the long run. Nebraska will win two easy games at home, like they always do, and then watlz into a hostile environment and get bashed upside the skull with a giant lead pipe.

I've said it once..I'll say it again. There is ABSOLUTELY, no fucking way on God's green earth that NU wins this game. None. Zero. And no you fucking tools, I'm not going to make some bet with you where if I win you have to give up your Harry Potter books for a summer. And no, if Nebraska wins (that looked funny even typing that), I won't go run and hide. I'm sure that if somehow the stars aligned right and you WERE to win that game (which you won't) there will be something else to bash you about. So just save the endless streams of e-mails that I'm bound to get. It's best for both of us.

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In a related note, I thought I would pass this along:

Do you really thing I'm going overboard when I say that many Husker fans have a homo-erotic fascination with their players? You may think I"m joking...but how else can you explain this? Seriously....WHAT THE FUCK? The only reason somebody would take this photo, would be if people want to see it. (Caution - this photo may be disturbing to some readers, and yes..this was as disturbing for me to print as it is for you to look at it. Just trying to make a point here.)







6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think you can ever top your other post about the USC game. But still, good stuff.
Ever thought about writing this for a living?

Go Buffs!

9:05 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Thanks. I knew I couldn't top the other one..so why even try. And yeah, I went to school to be a writer but ended up doing other things instead.

I wish I would have stuck with it, because it's so much fun. (to me at least)

11:18 AM  
Anonymous deron said...

Its fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have grown up a Nebraska Cornhusker fan. I believed in the program, but that being said, you have a certain candor about your comments.

I believe that the only Husker fans that believe we have a shot in the USC game also believe Pederson to be a man of morals and conviction. (I classify these Husker fans in the same class with the Michigan fans that believed they were the national champs in 97 because they beat a poor Oregon team.) If USC losses this game it would have to be a text book example of a team imploding. Listening to the local sports announcers, they talk about staying within a touchdown, I'd say more like a touchdown a quarter. If Callahan couldn't get these guys up to play Kansas last year, how on earth can he get them up to perform against USC.

Merely having a pro based offense does not automatically give a team the advantage, but if you talk to the neuveaux (sp?) Huskers fans, they'll talk about the yards Z.T. put up last year. So what? the Huskers have never thrown the ball more than 20 times a game prior to last year. (First guy out is always the leader.)

Nebraska had the most success when they had what? Dominant players on both the offensive and defensive lines.

10:35 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Anything can happen I guess. And if this game were played in 3 years...absolutely it COULD happen. But even with their best 2 players gone...USC is still a giant of a program, and Nebraska still lost to Kansas and missouri last year by a combined 49 points.

I just fail to see how a win @ Colorado, and a freaky win over a decent Michigan team (on a neutral field) can prepare you for that hostile of an environment.

Only ONE time in the Callahan era has a NU team won THREE road games. (one of which was in Waco).

Just too much to overcome with this many questions.

Thanks for stopping by and being rational. I appreciate it.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Billy Bear said...

funny stuff...you are a voice of reason in the "zone" of denial...really enjoy your ramblings....Billy Bear recent returnee to god's country (Colorado) from the "zone" (KC/Midwest)....

8:56 PM  

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