January 15, 2007

Hate on Parade - A Quick Thought on a Slow Monday

Wanna see true hate? No, I don't mean a Rosie O'Donnell blog. No, I don't mean a Dennis Leary special on HBO. I'm talking hate at a whole other level.

Duke vs. North Carolina is a nice rivalry. Michigan vs. Ohio State is OK. The Red Sox and Yankees are a nice baseball rivalry. (If you're within 100 miles of the east coast and watch ESPN for more than 5 seconds during the spring and summer) However, if you truly want to get a taste of what it's like to hate....and I mean truly from the depths of your soul...HATE another fan base to the point where you hope their children are cursed with hooves...watch ESPN around 8pm Central tonight.

At that time, Missouri and Kansas will take part in the nearly 160 year old tradition of hating each other on the basketball court. Now, I know what you're thinking,

"How can we get Marlon Lucky more involved with the offense next year?"

So since you're not thinking about anything I just said...let me enlighten you a bit. Rivalry is not about bad blood. Rivalry is not about who wins or loses. Rivalry is about hate. Now I don't even pretend to think that Husker fan knows the first thing about rivalry (no...Oklahoma is not your rival, nor is Colorado or Kansas State)...but I think you need to see it so that you may put some pieces together and see just where I'm coming from.

Hating the Huskers is personal to me. I hate all the little ways you people get on my nerves. From Jim Rose to Dave Webber, to calling your defensive coordinator "Coz" (like you've known him for years), to telling me how great a player is before he's even played a down. I hate you for so many reasons...it's impossible to list them all here. However, I don't expect others in my shoes to feel the same hate as I do. It's personal. It's me against all of you. It's my feelings vs. your everyday lives.

Hating Kansas is a whole different ball game, on a whole different level. Since birth, I have been taught by my fellow brethren that Kansas and their fans are nothing but the proverbial genital wart on the penis of society. A group of self-absorbed snobs, who's favorite pastimes include drinking Zima, listening to Dave Mathews CD's, and obsessing about being a national power, despite losing in the first round of the NCAA tournament every year since Jesus was a child.

From their fat, cheating coach to their arrogant, self-righteous never-done-anything-but-one-fluke-title-in-50-years fans....my hate for all things KU is matched only by the Husker nation. If Hating Nebraska is personal...hating KU is bound by blood and history.

Only Kansas would paint the world's ugliest and unimaginative mascot 500 times it's normal size on their vastly overrated gym floor. Only Kansas would break nearly every rule in the book in recent years, only to have the university reply, "compliance doesn't sell tickets." Only Kansas would resort to wearing red socks to a football game against Missouri....which doesn't sound like a whole hell of a lot, but trust me...is the non-verbal equivalent of calling every woman in the state a two-bit whore.

Yes the hate is strong and it is pure. Tonight, as Missouri gets destroyed by 40 or so points, you will see KU fan taking every advantage of the situation, and showing the world just how classy he is. (Wanna play a drinking game? Tonight, do a shot every time a camera shows a "Muck Fizzou" shirt in the crowd, and let me know if the ambulance gets there before halftime.) You see, KU fan...much like Husker fan...loves to tell you just how classy he is. And is the case with Husker fan...if you have to go out of your way to say this...then it probably isn't true.

In closing: Fuck you KU fan. Fuck you sideways with a 5-iron that has been sitting in a fireplace for 4 hours. I hope the brie cheese at your frat party is tainted with e-coli. I hope that sweater around your neck gets wrapped around your wind-pipe. I hope your roommate "Chaz" gets a spastic twitch tonight and stabs you through the back of the throat with his crank.

Rot in hell you arrogant fucks.

Hate will keep is bound...til we meet again.

PS - You still suck too Husker fan.

17 Comments:

Anonymous CJTiger99 said...

Right on. All Tiger fans MUST hate KU.

Nothing like naming your team after a bunch of civil war era terrorists.

1:52 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

I didn't realize the hatred until I went to watch a game as an undergraduate in K.C. The Missouri/Kansas basketball game was on, and the crowd that we watched it with was down the line Kansas/Missouri fans. After the game was over, I learned that I was invited to come down and be an "equalizer" in the event anything happened. (What the heck did I care, it was college, and free beer.)

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Grover said...

Im a Kansas State grad. I hate KU. Everytime I have go to Lowrents my skin begins to crawl. I detest their holier than thou attitude, the way the only root for their school for 4 months out of the year. Just the sight of the F'ing Jayhawk gets my agent orange acting up. That said, I am jealous of the hatred the MU fans bring to the party. I aspire to one day hate the jokehawks on the same level as the Tiger fans.

I may be watching the game tonight in my purple footie pj's, drinkin my purple kool-aid, jerking off to pictures of Bob Huggins and Bill Walker, but I will be rooting whole heartedly for the Tigers.

5:27 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

huskerh8ter's view of the world and some shitty kansas-mizzou basketball game go together how? maybe someone, and im not going to say who, should change the title of their blog if they want to talk about pillow fight rivalries. zzzzzzz... cheating mizzou hoops and chokehawk basketball? no thanks. go big red.

6:23 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Hey OHF...it's the middle of fucking January. I'm not sure if you know this..you probably don't because of all your Creighton gear...but the Huskers are in the Big 12.

I know it's probably a shock to you that they actually HAVE a basketball team...but some other fans around the conference actually follow other sports.

You fuckin bitch about being stale...you fuckin bitch about talking about other stuff. Here's a tip: Don't read it until about July. Unless you want to read some hard-core college baseball insight here. (Because I'm sure you're a HUGE fan) Hmmm..wonder why?

Fuck you.

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...

aj, aj, aj... you know very well i follow all things husker. ive told you how great my boy doc sadler is. ive ranted about how shitty creighton basketball is. what more do YOU want? i know you knew this aj, didnt you? by the way, for one night only, rock chalk chokehawk. also, wasnt i the one who came on here bragging about husker volleyball, bowling, anything husker? dont ever, i mean ever, insult my husker loyalty again. all i was saying was live up the name of the blog, or change it. seems simple enough doesnt it? oh ya, whats quinn snyder and ricky clemons up to these days? lmao. go big red.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You mean there is another school in larryville besides Haskell? Very informative!

P.s.
May a pox affect all things associated with snob hill.

10:18 PM  
Anonymous tb said...

God I love the Border War.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't act like all Nebraska fan cares about is football. We take pride in all of our sports. True some get more representation than others, but we will still follow them. There isn't much tradition with Husker basketball but that doesn't mean we don't care.

1:32 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

What do you mean you don't care? They average like 6,000 a game in Lincoln. Of course they don't care.

And OHF, don't get me that crap. I see you working. You're just lying in the weeds...waiting for Sadler to beat KU at home or some other one-in-a-million shot, so you can jump up and say you were here the whole time.

I do like your anger for Creighton though. Unfortunately, a lot of your fellow fans don't feel the same way.

Good game last night. I may save some comments for a post today. Or not. hell, i don't know....busy day today.

And as much as I hate the Huskers...even I have a hard time finding something to write about every single day. (I try to update at least every other day in the off-season.) Even major columnists only have to write a column twice a week.

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually its more like 9,000, but have you seen the non-conference schedule? That's a tough sell even for a tradition-rich program (which Nebraska baksetball is not). All I'm saying is that the support is there. It may not be comparable to Duke, Illinois, or even Missouri, but folks around here still give a shit about basketball as well as all Husker sports.

P.S. If there weren't a few Husker fans at Qwest for Creighton games how the hell else are they going to fill a 17,000+ arena?

9:01 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

You've got to admit the hatred between the two states goes back to the Border Wars. Suprising that the two schools bring up the grudge match in a non-contact sport.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Tiger_On_The_Move75 said...

God, please wipe Lowrents off the face of the Earth. I do so fucking hate the beakers.

12:14 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

BHG went to Nail School in Kansas City?

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aj do us all a BIG Favore and post the days,hours and seconds tell us when the next Husker football game is
so we all know when you get back into your groove.

As always you can eat a mile of my corn ridden shit and kiss my Husker loveing ass.

8:11 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I'll be back in the grove as soon as spring ball starts. Plus, we have the horrible pain of Husker baseball to look forward to, so not all is lost.

Hang in there.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

JP,

Went to the famed nail school in Arthur, NE, away from the distractions of big city folk.

I should have been more techinical in my writing, I do apologize.

10:58 AM  

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