December 31, 2006

Happy New Year - Nebraska Still Sucks

Last post of 2006 as I try to figure out how to spend $80 worth of iTunes Gift Cards. No matter what your plans are tonight, be safe and come back in 2007 so we can talk about what a complete and total fraud the great soon-to-be-failed Sam Keller experiment is going to be. Whether it’s hunched over in the gutter behind McFlys or getting bent over the sofa at midnight by your friend Husker Bob as he dresses up as Bob Devaney in a red letter jacket…I hope you have a great New Year’s Eve planned.

* So I’m reading the preview for the Cotton Bowl, just for kicks, and I see something that catches my eye. In the article, written by John Palmieri…it starts off by saying something peculiar. The very first line reads, “Nebraska has made tremendous strides in three seasons under coach Bill Callahan. Facing a top 10 opponent in a New Year's Day bowl game only further illustrates that.”


So let me ask this please….how exactly has Nebraska made such “tremendous strides”? They beat three completely shitty teams in one of the worst divisions in all of Division one football. Iowa State, Kansas (whom they barely beat) and Colorado are completely worthless. Kansas State is going to be decent in future years, but not now. Missouri hasn’t won a big game on the road since before I was a fetus. So what is driving these “tremendous strides?” Texas A&M? Don’t get me wrong..hostile environment…but they’re hardly a top 10 caliber team. (Didn’t they almost lose to Army?) And wasn’t the game decided on a penalty in the closing minutes as NU won by 1? Wow. Impressive.

So am I missing something else? Wins over La Tech, Nichols State, Troy? Seriously, what am I missing here?

Basically, Nebraska is starting to get this phantom “improved” label, because they beat shitty North teams they’ve choked to and had no business losing to in recent years. (If you’re as great as you say you are.) So are they taking this label on because they pissed a game away against Texas? Because they played turtle against USC? Because they couldn’t score but one time when OU gave them 932 possessions inside the OU 50 yard line at Arrowhead? Because they couldn’t stop OU on a 3rd and long on their own one?

This is the most blatant case of media ignorance I’ve ever seen in my life. This just goes to prove that absolutely nobody has even watched this team, and is basing their comments on past success alone. All of the reasons I’ve listed above are about a mile short of impressive, and just about anybody who takes a look at it this way can see it. They’re also being rewarded for not sucking total ass like they did in 2004. Wow, I wish my team could get recognized for beating shitty teams by unimpressive numbers and beating ONE ranked team, by one…who just got ass-pounded by Cal.

See what I’m getting at?

Auburn is going to do what every other good team has done to Bill Callahan. They’ll win by 14-21 points, and the Callahan nation will point to the “progress” they’ve made by going into shell mode and playing not to get blown out by a far far far superior team. Mark my words.

* You know who I want to see dead? The guy who invented those fucking plastic clips that holds kids’ toys in the box. Why in the hell do those things have to be basically welded into place inside a cardboard box? Why do I spend more time getting the fucking things out of the box than my kids do actually playing with the toys? God I hate that.

* Because I get smart-ass replies, let me give you my official take on the Missouri loss in El Paso…not because you should care that much, but because a lot of you clowns think it somehow hurts me to remind me how God hates Missouri and it’s fans. (Trust me, I already know.)

Both readers and newspaper writers alike are throwing the word “choke” around, and it’s somewhat deserved I guess. Blowing a 14 point lead late isn’t anything to be thrilled about and trust me, I’m not . But like a 2 goal lead in hockey, you’re in kind of a shitty position defensively at that point in the game. Sure you want to be aggressive, but it’s late and you don’t want to get beat deep. (Something OSU can do easily) I give all the credit in the world to Oregon State, not only because they’re a damn good team, but because they made plays when they had to.

How come everything has to be life or death, and you can’t just enjoy your team play in a very entertaining football game? There were about 10 plays at the end of that game that could have ended in a Missouri win. They rolled up nearly 600 yards of offense, and Tony Temple FINALLY had the breakout game everybody thought he was capable of.

I’m disappointed, but I’m also happy the effort and coaching was there. And yes, I said coaching because Pinkel attacked the shitty OSU defense the way he SHOULD have attacked the shitty Nebraska defense…by going deep. How many times did MU go deep in Lincoln? 2? 3?

I also take comfort in the fact that 10 starters return from that team that is absolutely loaded on offense. What’s that? Huskers will be unstoppable? They have 6 receivers coming back, including Rucker (probably) and Coffman. Daniel will be a junior and the line returns 4 of 5 guys. Look, I understand it’s still Missouri, Pinkel is still Pinkel…blah blah blah. But I remember a time when Tom Osborne couldn’t do shit right. (Until he sold his soul and started to recruited criminals.) I’m not saying Pinkel is the answer for Missouri, because he may not be. However, I think he’s made enough strides over time to deserve more time. It’s not like he’s trying to rebuild Florida State here. Missouri has won 9 games in a season only once in my lifetime. That should tell you all you need know about the mountain they have to climb.

Tough loss, but I like the effort and the strides that were made. Besides, with Nebraska visiting Columbia next year and the former Arizona State 2nd string QB being the cancer that I think he is…there’s no reason to think the North isn’t there for the taking in 2007.
(Thanks Columbia Tribune for the pics)


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