December 13, 2006

This Looks Familiar

Ya know, sometimes I hate you people so much, I forget about all the reasons. There are plenty of reasons of course that are well documented. You break down film together. (With coaches) You travel like locusts to destinations that Haitian refugees wouldn't want to travel to. You make up names for positions that don't exist. But you probably the #1 thing I hate the most about you people, is your CONSTANT ability to spin.

You know what I'm talking about. NOBODY on earth is as good as you guys are at pumping somebody up...convincing the world they are God..only to claim they suck ass when they leave abruptly. Not sure what I'm talking about? Do the names, Curt Dukes, David Horne, Thunder Collins, DeAngelo Evans, Curt Dukes, Harrison Beck etc etc mean anything to you? (Hell, wasn't that Hillenbrandt kid supposed to be Joe Montana...and he just left too?)

Enter exhibit #153,053 in former Husker Assistant Coach John Blake. For nearly 3 years, all people have heard from the Big Red Nation is how great Dudley is at pulling in big recruits. For nearly 36 months, I've heard on at least 900 occasions, how some recruit was going to some sunny SEC team, yet John Blake ate Apple Pie with his momma, and now he's gonna be a Husker. Or my personal favorite...."He sends hand-written notes. That's why he's so good." This has gone on for months and months and months and months.

"Bob Stoops won with his players," you cried. "He's the greatest recruiter in college football, he just wasn't organized" some of you stated. And now that he ditched you for a team that finished 3-9 and is probably the #4 most popular sport on campus...what do you say? "Ahhhh he wasn't that good anyway." Huh?

This happens so many times, I can't even count. I'm not even saying it doesn't happen other places, because it does. You can't name a college team in the country who has high hopes on a kid or coach...talks him up..and then badmouths him out the door. Happens all the time. But NOWHERE has it become an art form that it is in Lincoln. You see, this is why nobody ever buys the hype anymore. This is why, when Sam Keller signs with you, nobody but you gets all giddy, because we know that odds are in 9 months, something will happen, and you'll just tell us how much he sucked anyway. Happens every....damn.....time.

Little hint for next time...whether it's Sam Keller, a new hot-shot recruiter or whomever....keep your tempered expectations a bit toned down. That way, you won't look like complete idiots when things don't pan out and they bolt for somewhere else.

(And no, save your "I know the real story, and it was _______ that caused him to leave" reply. I don't care. That's not my point. You're an idiot for even trying to explain it. Kiss him goodbye and move on.)

* Volleyball fever, have you caught it yet? I've done some thinking, and I really think you people are missing the point on this. I think it's nice the city is landing "big events". Seriously. I just don't think this "event" would be "big" if the Huskers weren't playing in it. Can you imagine how nervous those NCAA jagoffs were when those girls were down 2-0 last weekend? Somehow I can picture something out of Rocky 3, where the Russian Polit Bureau guy, runs down and smacks Drago upside the head. Some of those girls are built like Drago too...which is somewhat ironic when you think about it. Anyway, wake me when it's over, and please be sure to tip your wait staff on your way out of town back to Cozad.

* My Super Duper Year End Spectacular is coming up either later this week or early next week. (whenever I can get to it). I'm not sure if you know this, but I don't normally put a whole lot of thought into these posts. However, when I actually advertise something, I have to be a bit more careful on my delivery. "Husker loss of the year", "Husker Quote of the Year" and various other crap I can think of will all be thrown out for you to rehash and bitch about. Apparently some of you are getting bored with non-football takes already, even though (SHOCKING) Football season is almost over. Good Grief.

* Other than Husker Holiday lights, is there anything more fucking stupid than these G*d damn "simulated" National Title tournaments that ESPN, CNNSI and just about every other bored sports writer on earth is doing? What the hell is the point? Are we THAT thirsty for football that we need to IMAGINE how games would go? (don't answer that).
Perhaps that's what you guys want when you piss and moan to me about not talking about anything interesting. Perhaps you want me to do in-depth stories on various recruits? Perhaps you want me to break down my fantasy football team too. This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. You can't go full bore for an entire season, and continue it when things wind down. Oh don't get me wrong, I have plenty of thoughts on Doc Sadler's shitty basketball team, the god-awful College World Series and other items...but if you want fluffy shit that doesn't really matter...go read Page 2 on ESPN, listen to Jeremy Crabtree talk about some junior in high school in Montana who he's "really high on", who will probably be working at Target in 15 months. Blah blah fucking blah.

* Speaking of shitty ESPN crap on TV...I see it's almost time for another exciting season of "Madden Challenge." Ummm.....yeah. I realize that some of these dorks pull in $10,000 bucks a week doing nothing more than fuse their ass to a couch...but do you have to mix it with reality TV? Does anybody even watch this? If I loved playing Madden that much...wouldn't I be...oh I dunno...PLAYING madden, instead of watching a bunch of zit-faced, 24 year old virgins battle it out and "talking trash"? Again, I'm not going to lie...I've played some games in my day, and I still sneak in a game now and then....but I never thought about someday going Pro.

Professional gamers....this is why we're all going to be speaking Chinese someday.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you really say take the time to dedicate hours out of your day to do this stuff? That is sad. As an anti-husker fan, I was intriuged by the idea of your page. When I was reading through, I could have sworn you were a high school or college student, just trying to rip on the team you hate. You, in fact are a person with kids and a family.... Wow. And all this from a Mizzou fan? Nice.

9:47 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Ya know..for somebody who hates reading this blog so sure log on quite a bit. I'm not sure if you know this..but the word "anonymous" isn't quite what it appears when it comes to hitting a website. Perhaps you might want to take a class or something?

One other thing: I don't write this for you, people like you or anything like that. I write it because I like to write. I like sports. I like to banter back and fourth with Husker friends and co-workers. I'm not a professional. I don't get paid for this. Hell, I don't even spend that much time on it.

I allow comments (and approve them all), because it shows other people what complete idiots people are. Stop taking yourself so seriously. It's really dampening the mood around here.

PS - You're an "anti-Husker" fan? Righhhtttt, and my name is Scott Frost.

8:04 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

I think you're talking more about the Callahan/Pederson apologists than all Husker fans in general. This staff hasn't done anything that one could say is better than the previous staff (throwing the ball in a loss does not count, and getting kudos from ESPN doesn't put trophies on the mantle). They've done some things worse, but when you hire a retard to drive the bus don't be suprised when you miss the stops. (A.K.A. recruting kids that can't cut the cord, recruiting kids that are unable to understand the program, etc., etc.)

I look at the Beck incindent as no fault of Beck, rather the blame lies on Callahan and company. Callahan recruited Beck, Callahan should have known the qualities of this kid, and what he was capable of? What's hilarious is that the Callahan apologists will tell you that, "Beck wasn't that good anyhow". Okay, now follow the arguement, if Beck wasn't that good, Callahan was too stupid to identify it, which would make him a crappy recruiter. Wasting time on crappy recruits doesn't exactly spell success for your program. If Callahan apologists are right and Callahan can identify talent, then what in the world was he doing with Beck in the first place, was Callahan being lazy?

Callahan apologists then generally defend with the arguement, "Recruting is not an exact science." I then remind these retards that bad recruting was a primary reason Frank got canned. (Callahan is such an idiot that he couldn't figure out he had a heck of a running back sitting on the sideline for half a season.)

10:14 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

that's a good point bhg. I sometimes tend to forget there is a large rift between "Frank people" and "Cal people."

Thank you for keeping me honest there. Your point is taken.

10:21 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Thanks for being one of the few..the proud..the growing in number who "get it". This is not a hate blog. is and it isn't. Sports and life are two different things.

If I REALLY hated Nebraska as much as many of you think, would I live here 20 years? Would I be friends with former Huskers? (Which I am, as well as people within the university)

Seriously...seperate the smack talk from reality, and you get from it what you get out of it. As a Missouri fan, I'm used to people hating my team. It's not a big deal. I just want to spread some of the fun that goes with rivalry and sports to the masses here in Nebraska.

Enjoy your day, and thanks for the comments.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Don't want the Callahan apologists to think that Frank was a saint because he was annointed by T.O.

Frank didn't help his cause when got blinded by the Heisman, and crybaby Crouch. Frank should have been thinking about life after Crouch, in giving some backups a few series in some games, instead of padding Crouch's stats. He left himself some unprepared players and when T.F. left after his sophmore year, that doomed the line play, not only because T.F. was such a good college player, but that T.F. staying would have meant other kids learning things from T.F.

12:21 PM  

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