Yeah, I'm late...so what?
Actually...part of the blame lies in all of you. Ok, not ALL of you, but a good number of you who have stole my thunder, and started to realize the complete and total farce that internet football recruiting websites are these days. Therefore, instead of a 3 page rant...I give you a small 3 paragraph rant.
If you spend 80 bucks a month to find out if some 17 year old in Illinois likes your football team...you're a loser. If you send notes or communicate with the fathers of these guys (and I know some people who read this blog who do)...you're even a bigger loser. And if you honestly think any of this really means anything...then nothing I can say can really help you. Look, I understand you have to recruit to win. That's obvious. But if you can tell me that some internet nerd can tell the difference between a "3 star" and a "2 star" just by watching them....then you're an idiot.
I'm actually glad Mike and others have covered this subject this week, because it really blows my mind as to how much pull these recruiting "gurus" have. And before you go off on some tangent about how everybody else just doesn't understand it....just remember the fact that most of you Husker fans would have sex with Tom Lemming in a SECOND if you could. So don't give me any of that bullshit Husker spin. Besides..this isn't even a Husker issue...it's a boredom issues, spawned by the internet, and the single smartest internet pioneers since the guy who invented the Girls Gone Wild series.
I'm just going to stop right there...because HOPEFULLY, you're with me on this one. (And I didn't even mention the ultra-losers who went to that Army High School game a few years ago and "cheered" for Husker recruits". It blows my mental capacity to think about the level of dork you have to be to do that.)
* Congratulations Husker basketball team for being almost as good as Texas. Hooray for moral victories!
* Has Husker baseball started yet? I've not heard Joba Chamberlain on my radio twice in 24 hours....which I'm sure he's probably a nice kid...is twice too many. Oh I understand why Husker fan cares about baseball....what with you being half-way good now...with a nice new stadium that Bill Byrne built for you (and yet, you badmouth him anyway.) I also get how you might want to get up off the mat after getting smacked upside the head by D1 baseball powerhouses San Francisco and Manhattan. Jeez, even if I was Iowa Western Community College, I'd want to wipe that taste out of my mouth. Manhattan and San Francisco at home? In the biggest games of the year? Nice. That still blows my mind that you people did that. Very well done. Can't wait to see what you do for an encore.
* American Idol judges are too harsh? Giant eel-shark spotted in Japan? Paris Hilton a whore? How can it possibly be this slow of a news week?
* The Missouri Valley is FAR AND AWAY the most overrated conference in America. All off-season we heard about how great Wichita State, Creighton and Southern Illinois were. OK, fine...there aren't any REALLY bad teams in there..with the exception of Drake and Doane or whomever else is in there. But can we please cut the crap about how great they are? Yes, it's true that they're not on par with the MEAC or even the Big West most likely. But for idiots like Tom Shatel (DAMN, there goes my resolution) to tell me OVER AND OVER that the Mo Valley is better than all but one or two conferences in America is absolutely ludicrous.
* Is there any bigger waste of time than the Oscars? I've ranted about this before..and I'm going to get into this a bit later...but I challenge you to find a civilization in the history of time that pays more attention to stuff that doesn't mean jack shit than this one does. I know more about Lindsey Lohan than I do about my own sister. I've seen Brad Pitt more times in the past 3 nights than I have my own kids. Seriously...when the hell does this stop? I understand that people's lives are pathetic and they need to pretend they're somebody else. But if you're going to do that...why not pick somebody who isn't a total sleazebag? or how bout spending time with your own families? Ugh.....again....better stop here.
Gotta run. French fries are overheating in the fryer and the McRib's are getting cold off the grill. I promise I'll put fourth a better effort by the weekend.