April 29, 2007

The Draft is Over - The Long Wait Begins

We’ve spent a lot of time in the past days/weeks/months breaking down the insane wave of myopia surrounding Husker nation this week. We’ve talked about how the NU baseball team is sliding ass-backwards down the toilet, and we’ve talked about how absolutely ridiculous it is that Doc Sadler’s name is associated to 2/3rd of all college basketball vacancies.

But what haven’t we talked about in recent days?

If you said Tom Shatel, you’re absolutely right.

Thanks to websites like mine, the Omaha World Herald makes sure that in order to read “high value” commentary like Tom’s you need to purchase the actual paper instead of the online version. (Uhhhh, yeah). Anyhow, you’d think the draft would be a hot topic this morning. You’d think Creighton baseball would be a story for winning 11 in a row. (They were there.) And of course, you had your vile, sarcasm-laced, oozing with contempt story by Lee Barfknecht about how everybody is jumping on the Mizzou bandwagon this fall, even though everybody knows they’ll fall on their face. (Blow me Lee).

Now, what sort of hard-hitting journalism would you expect from Nebraska’s top authority on sports reporting this morning above the fold? Let’s take a look at the first question he posed the NU coach:

“Are you closing the gap (talent level) to Texas and Oklahoma?”. Uhhhh, how bout closing the gap on Oklahoma State? Or perhaps not giving up 400 yards in the air at home to a shitty 2nd string KU quarterback? Obviously the gap isn’t closing on Oklahoma, considering last time you played them, you had 70,000 of your own fans, and you had -893 yards offense or whatever the hell it was. Nice question Tom.

However, my favorite was this question….whom do you think they may have been talking about?

“There was a great celebration in winning the North title last year, but some people mocked it. Do you understand that mentality?” (Callahan yabbers on with several sentences that make little sense as he talks about how his goals are in synch with the fans blah blah blah blah. )

Here’s an answer for you Tom…it was the stupidest G*d damn thing I’ve ever seen in my life. If you’re so completely pathetic that you have to MAKE UP a trophy to give yourself, you’ve reached a new pinnacle of lame that even American Idol could not top. Seriously…it’s been 5 months, and I still can’t think about how absolutely stupid that was. I mean…fireworks? Sure. T-shirts? Why not? (You have them for every other lame-ass achievement.) But to actually MAKE A TROPHY and then have the gaul to GIVE IT TO YOURSELVES!?!?!? How absolutely starved for self-gratification can you possibly get? The North was BRUTAL last year. The ONLY team you had to beat worth a shit was Missouri, and they haven’t won a big game on the road since the 60’s. Hell, even K-State was breaking in a QB…and it’s not like they weren’t in the middle of a giant rebuilding project or anything.

For Tom to bring that up and roll his eyes at OTHERS who mock that disaster of a self-promotion is insane. You win a bowl…hold up a trophy. You go to the BCS…rub it in everybody’s face for doubting you. But when you beat a Colorado team (Who wasn’t exactly strong last year)…at HOME…you’ve got to be some kind of arrogant prick to pull that off.

** Anybody heard how Brady Quinn is doing? I hardly heard his name all weekend.

** Wasn’t it 16 degrees a couple of weeks ago? I guess that Al Gore wasn’t as full of shit as I thought.

** Speaking of disasters, is it really necessary for CNN to run a special every week about how we MIGHT face some horrible disaster that could kill us all? I mean, why not run it in Arabic? What’s that? There’s a giant Natural Gas freighter that sits in Boston Harbor for days on end next to a city? And if it catches on fire somehow it could kill ½ a million people? Yikes…I hope Al Jazzera doesn’t get ahold of this.

** Welcome to the toughest 4 months of the year to write about. I just hope I make it to Wednesday.

(Lame trophy photo thanks to Huskers.com)


Blogger TB said...

what a shock that shatel noticed you. how many of your hits come from the Omaha World-Herald offices?

11:00 PM  

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