April 29, 2008

Death by Data


Last week, South Park aired an episode that poked fun at our reliance on the internet. It kind of got me thinking that it wasn’t really THAT long ago, that e-mail was just something that tech-nerds used to break down binary code and trade Dungeons and Dragons strategies. But alas, America Online came along, and the world was well on its way to complete and total online reliance.

Now needless to say, I’m not going to go on some Unabomber rampage about the dangers of technology. I personally enjoy my internet radio, my ability to pinpoint directions on a digital globe at the touch of a button and yes…the chance it has given me to rail on the biggest collection of arrogant sports fans on the planet.

But with all of the great things the internet has given us, it has equally inflicted us with annoying and devastating side effects. Sure, I could mention things like porn addiction, gambling sites and hell…even Al Qaeda uses the internet to post beheadings to the masses. (Who of course, eat them up and broadcast them all over.) But in this case, I’m talking about an overabundance of information that has engulfed our brains and taken over our lives.

Enter this weekend’s NFL draft.

Back in the day, ESPN still took up ½ a day to break down all the things that make the NFL great. Back then, we relied on Mel Kiper and whatever other talking head as they babbled on, showering us with information and splashy and fancy graphics.

But today, that just simply isn’t enough. Just as with the idiotic onslaught of data that has bombarded us regarding the inexact science known as recruiting….the information age has now ruined the NFL draft as well. How so you ask? I don’t mind when Mel Kiper rambles on, because I know that’s his job. But what I don’t need is every single fan, yayhoo, nutjob and local radio hack to preach about how much they know. (CoughMikelSevereCough)

I’m not sure what it is about the future telling business that gets on my nerves so much. Perhaps it’s because I don’t physically NEED football 12 months a year. Yes, the off-season is too long, but I really don’t need to be sitting in my basement on a Saturday morning in April, breaking down the abilities of the 4th rated offensive lineman that may or may not get picked up by the Bills.

It’s not that I simply don’t care…it’s that I’m annoyed as all hell that you care so goddamn much.

Regardless, the abundance of digital information is never going to go away, and the microgeeks that warship numbers, stats and data will stick around forever as well. But that doesn’t mean I can’t long for the good ole days, when every clown, dick and Husker fan wasn’t peppering me with the vital statistics of some dude who will be cut by the first week of camp, and end up sitting the bench in the Arena League. You may have that sort of time and drive…but apparently I don’t.

** The draft did produce some funny moments for me though. Remember 365 days ago when you people were preaching to anybody who would listen how great the senior combo of J.C. Keller, Mo Purify and Corey McKeon were and how they were poised to roll over the Big 12 on their way to Canton and a big crystal trophy? Funny how time changes things huh? Good luck to them in training camp where they will battle it out for precious practice squad playing time. Or, good luck to them at UPS driver training school….whichever comes first.

** Speaking of me being right all of the time about the Huskers, nice to see the Hick nation getting some love from the “National Press” regarding what a bang-up job Bo is doing to whip the Huskers back into shape this spring.

Now I hate to be the voice of reason here (again), and I’m certainly not going to break up the big myopic pajama party you got going on now that Bill Callahan has been ceremoniously kicked to the curb. But just why in the hell are we supposed to believe anything like this?

I’m serious…the rest of us have spent the better part of FOUR (Plus) seasons, reading national reports about what a great job Callahan is doing, and how the program is moving into the next century. We saw ridiculously high pre-season rankings that you wouldn’t be able to live up to in 1,000,000 years. We saw Tom Lemming and other ‘experts’, blather on about how your great “tradition” is going to pull you through the tough times.

Are you this dumb? NOBODY outside of me knew what was really going on here…what on earth makes you think that the National media knows anything about your pseudo resurgence? And most importantly, why are you people actually FALLING for this again? Why on earth would you put ANY stock into ANYTHING anybody from the national media says about you? Why don’t you listen to somebody who actually knows you and deals with your shit every day?

And I’ll say this again, my job is actually easier when you have some success. The past year or so…as rewarding as it’s been to watch you destroy yourselves…has been extremely difficult in a business sense. What I need is for you to start believing again. I need you is to start making even more ridiculous claims that can be openly mocked by the rest of us. For the sake of this blog and my sanity…I need you to act…well…like you.

Come to think of it…forget everything I've said over the past few years.

You’re great.

Don’t listen to me.

19 Comments:

Blogger Husker Mike said...

Umm... because this time it's for real?

Well, it's worth a try. Or maybe it's because Nebraska was so awful last season, that even doing a "bang-up" job might mean the Huskers merely improve to mediocre.

I've heard several pundits saying that getting Nebraska to 7-5 or 8-4 next season should warrant "Coach of the Year" awards for Pelini. Now either that's severely grading on the curve, homerism to an absurd extremity, or the sad realization of where the previous regime left the program.

I'll leave it to others to decide which. I think AJ might vote "All of the Above"...

3:00 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I just think a little too much is being blamed on the "previous regime". Don't get me wrong..you can't get THAT much worse...but problems are problems, no matter who created them.

3:33 PM  
Blogger Buffbreath said...

husker mike says: "Umm.....because this time it's for real?".....When was it NOT for real???? Seriously, I mean, you husker fans eat, sleep, breath husker football. It was real last year, and the year before, and the year before, etc, etc.........When was it NOT for real??

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank God Tom Osborne is back.

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done on the NFL draft comments AJ. I must say I was very disappointed that Sam Keller's name wasn't called. I was so looking forward to hearing Sam say he was from Nebraska in his first Monday night game. *heavy sarcasm*

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, thank God an aging man is back who handpicked Frank Solich and recommended Steve Pedersen. Thank God for the return of the man who started the decline of the program. Thank God that he brought back the walk on program and put the pictures back up, because that's exactly what's going to bring Nebraska back to the top...

8:37 PM  
Anonymous saunders45 said...

AJ, while the level of optimism was ridiculously high last year for some, there are many of us who haven't been fond of the direction that the program was taking during the last few years. Callahan was a decent/good offensive coordinator, but a horrible coach. His stupidly mind blowing decisions during games was proof of that fact.

Realisticly, 7-5 is where we'll be with a long shot at 8-4.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From a Missouri fan, thank God Tom Osborne is back.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous DT said...

"(blah, blah, blah...indecipherable ranting)...that can be openly mocked by the rest of us."
Sort of like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a_u0cH0hKI

5:24 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I thought the Mizzou One Shining Moment thing was pretty clever and funny.

It's also impressive, because I don't recall Mizzou having things like that directed at them when they sucked. I say it probably once a week now: Nobody hates Baylor.

Bravo to whatever redlegger put that together.

7:23 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

Fuck Baylor.

I can't even say that with a straight face.

9:52 PM  
Blogger NEBforCU said...

This is great, read HuskerO comments about the "nice" nubbie.

http://nebraska.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?fid=181&tid=112794934&mid=112794934&sid=928&style=2

He even used the "I have a close friend who is friends with him" card.

9:29 AM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

I know someone who hates Baylor, Stephen Colbert. Bears are consistently the number one threat to America in his 'Threat Down's.

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nebforcu
If you hate the Huskers so bad, why the hell are you spending time reading through their forums?

It only takes a 2 second search to point you at a CU forum that has the same types of commentary about Riar Greer or any of the other 4 CU players that have been arrested already...

What exactly is your point?

That the internet provides a medium for just about any point of view on just about any topic.. well, no shit, Sherlock

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Danny Chapek here...

AJ..you ever post on here naked?

10:14 PM  
Blogger NEBforCU said...

Umm... maybe you should look at the title of this website.


When you understand reading comprehension, then you will get why the negative posts about your beloved nubbies.

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, it looks like the NCAA inked the world series for 20 more years. I'm glad to see Omaha keep the one thing it truly has going for it.

However, the homerism that the Weird-Harold shows for the city is downright disturbing. Welcome to a changing city from last year. Sorry, Omaha hasn't changed that much from last year. I don't see L.A. Times, Chicago Tribune or any other paper continuously brag and publish pro-their city propaganda. Sorry, just a rant I had.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When you understand reading comprehension,

Every time one of you idiots that think you are a Mensa candidate spew this kind of shit, it just cracks me the fuck up. Reading comprehension? Really?

Trust me, there is a whole lot more than reading comprehension missing from your game nebforcu...

Yes, I know what the title of AJ's blog is and other than the fact that it doesn't require reading comprehension, I'm well aware that there are many people who hate the Huskers and many of them make valid points and are even clever. It's the dipshit, cling-ons like you that spend all day reading pro-Husker sites looking for that one segment of one thread that, in your mind, proves that we all have the same mentality and then the deliver it by providing not the actual link, Check out nebforcu's proof that all nubbies think the same like this, but by instead forcing people to cut and paste your little nugget of proof into the address bar of their browser in order to read it. HTML browsers aren't new, people have actually become accustomed to being able to follow links the way the designers of the markup intended. And if that's not enough, you prefix it be reaching way down deep into your creativity bag and pulling out nubbie? That's the best you've got? I don't mind being insulted and hated, but put some fucking effort into it.

And, just to spell out the difference for you, I don't run around claiming to hate AJ and then reference everything he's written. The day you catch me on someone's "BuffaloH8ter" blog, referencing CU fan forum discussions, you can call me out. But then again, nobody writes one of those, do they?

10:24 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

That might be the best and most creative anonymous post I've ever gotten.

Bravo.

PS - I'm not kidding

3:07 PM  

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