June 27, 2005

I can't take this anymore - Somebody needs to stop Tom Cruise

Ok, I've ignored this for quite some time, because I don't believe in the hype machine known as celebrity stardom. Working in baseball for a long time, I got to see how famous people are when cameras aren't on them...and I figured out in about 2 seconds that people who are famous are just as full of shit as anybody else you can pick up off the street. (Apparently that goes for music industry people as well...from what I hear.)

Anyway, I've ignored this whole Tom Cruise bullshit, because you and I both know that it's a publicity stunt. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that dude is pissed off he blew it with an incredible Nicole Kidman (Back when she was hot)...and now to pimp a movie, he has to keep up the image that he can pull tail like no other. Enter well-known-but-hasn't-made-a-worth-a-shit-movie-actress who is hot in her own right, who is just about ready to star in another giant movie at just about the same time. What does this have to do with anything?


If it has nothing to do with anything, then WHY IN THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SEE THIS ASSCLOWN ON MY TV SCREEN, hear him on my radio dial, or see his washed-up, sucked-in-Top Gun ass on my internet browser every single time I surf the web for LEGITIMENT news. This is what happens when stories like Micahel Jackson, and that stupid runaway bride bitch go stale. They have to find somebody to fill in their timeslot on E! Well, when it starts to overflow into my eyesight, I have a problem with it. (And includes that fake "water in the face" stunt from last week as well. I'm guessing that wasn't the only time Tom was hit in the face with liquid last week...but I'll leave that to your imagination.

Tom, for the love of god...GET THE FUCK off of my TV screen every moment of the day. You've proven your point. You pull hot pieces of ass. You star in big movies. I GET IT. Now get the fuck off of the air, stop jumping up on Oprah's couch, stop spouting off L.Ron Hubbard lines on the ABC Nightly News, and basically go back to making shitty Mission Impossible 3 movies, or anything else you can do to keep your image somewhere between Keanu Reeves and Burt Convey.

The sooner you end up on the Surreal Life, get dumped by your hot 26 year old fellow-publicity-seeking-woman, the better.

Fuck off Tom.



Blogger AJ said...


That's funny stuff

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Section96 said...

Tom: "Matt, Matt, Matt. You just don't get it. You don't know ANYTHING about psychiatry. I do."

Shut up, assmunch.

Go stand in line with your other buddies for L. Ron's starship to Mars.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Whooter said...

I like his movies, but yeah, he's certifiable...

9:17 AM  
Blogger Whooter said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Whooter said...

Updated with a better version:

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

11:08 AM  
Blogger Adam said...

its a hell of a movie..you guys should see it...

11:49 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

After Jerry McGuire, I refuse to see a picture with him as the star. He is just awful.

But hey..that's just my opinion.

12:14 PM  

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