December 5, 2005

The Great Bowl Robbery of 2005

Sometime last week, Athletic Director Steve Peterson got a phone call and a fax, inviting the Nebraska Cornhuskers to the Alamo Bowl.

Not since teh 17th century, when Blackbeard the Pirate made off with billions in English bullion has a crime of higher value been placed. Although no one was present, it is reported that Mr. Peterson signed the contract, and sent it back while dancing to Rex-n-effects "Rumpshaker" in a highly suggestive manner.

Blackbeard would have been proud.

The Alamo bowl is not the Rose Bowl. It's not the Orange Bowl, and isn't even in the same ballpark as the Outback bowl. But it's an attractive game in an attractive city. So with did a team that lost to Kansas and Missouri by a combined 47 points get into such a game? By beating Colorado handily? In case Alamo Bowl officials missed it, Colorado was beaten by Texas last weekend 235-3. (Every single TV set in the nation was turned off by halftime, so the final score has yet to be confirmed.) Was it by beating Iowa State in overtime? Was it beating Mighty Baylor on the road? Or was it needing not one but TWO missed field goals to beat mighty Pitt at home? Or how bout that gutsy last-second win that sent Jim Rose into a sexual ecstasy over K-State that saw the Hicksters not only give up one but TWO safeties in their own end zone?

No, none of these things helped the Huskers get into this game. No, the only thing that helped drive the Big 12 North's 4th best team was the very people that drive the bus...the 45,000 hicks who will drive their motor homes south to fill a cavernous stadium against a far superior team. Yes, the "Name" Nebraska is the real perpetrator here. Not Steve Peterson, who no doubt is still shaking his ass on his desk after escaping the jaws of death that were certain to clamp down on him after the Kansas game.

But for those of us who wish to expose the Hick nation for the frauds that they are..hope is not lost. Michigan has lost four games as well this season, but in much different fashion. Let's look at a comparison.

Michigan losses -
10-17 to #5 Notre Dame (9-2 BCS team)
20-23 at #21 Wisconsin (9-3, playing on January 2nd)
20-23 to Minnesota (7-4 bowl bound)
21-25 to Ohio State (9-2 BCS team)

Key wins-
33-17 to Northern Illinois (7-5 MAC division champs..lost title game by 1 point)
23-20 at Iowa (#25 ranked and Outback bowl)
33-17 at Northwestern (7-4 Sun bowl)
27-25 over Penn State (10-1, BCS team)

Now, I'm not a Michigan fan by ANY means...but let's look at the Little Red

Key losses -
31-34 to Texas Tech at home (8-3, Cotton Bowl...also a team that hasn't won more than 2 big 12 road game in aa season)
41-24 to Missouri (6-5, Indy Bowl...played in 4 bowl games in last 30 years)
31-24 to Oklahoma at home (7-4 and Holiday Bowl bound)
40-15 at Kansas (6-5 and one of the worst D1 teams in football in the last 10 years)

Key wins-
25-7 to Maine (A team that scored 2 points against James Madison and 0 to Hofstra)
31-3 to Wake Forest (only 4-7, but play in a great conf. Scored 1 offensive TD)
7-6 to Pitt (5-6 in the mighty Big East in a game that set football back 25 years)
27-20 in OT to Iowa State (7-4, tied for 3rd in big 12 north)
23-14 at Baylor (5-6, powerhouse of the Big 12 south)
27-25 vs KSU (KSU had a FG blocked to choke away a win with a sub 500 Lincoln)
30-3 at CU (The Big 12 north champs just lost to Texas 70-3. Uhhhh...yeah)

So there you have it..the tale of the tape.

By my calculations.....
Michigan 175
Nebraska 3

See you next year in LA when the Hicks take on USC. That should be good.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

love the blog. keep it up.

12:47 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Man, is my identity button broken? Apparently you can only sign in using the "anonymous" button. Looks like I'll have to get that fixed.

Thanks for stopping by though! My apologies for your thin skin.

3:36 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

your site sucks and you are a moron


3:38 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Truth hurts.

PS - Brad Smith just scored again.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

You gotta love how the fucking Hicks think so highly of themselves that they care what we think.

To all you corn-fed, Republican, know-nothing, me-Tarzan-you-Jane, unicameral-loving, cocksucking, glue-sniffing, option-running, whining, morons (who will probably vote for their former coach for governor)...


11:48 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

what metropolis are you from, sam?

lemme guess.. red oak, iowa?

9:11 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

A guy from Lincoln calling out Red Oak is pretty funny to me.

Please keep it up because after 12/28, I doubt we'll see you much til the spring game.

10:38 AM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

I will be your worst nightmare for the rest of the time you bash the Cornhuskers.

Where you from? Benkelman?

You do know Omaha is just Wichita with more traffic and less culture.

For the record I lived in the Bay Area of California for several years, so suck it HICK!

11:22 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Not according to your IP address you don't.

PS - You see the irony in being a Husker fan, yet calling somebody from nebraska a hick don't you?

I can't keep giving you these free pointers.

12:52 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

"Lived" douchebag.. Not "live".. I LIVED in the California.

There is a difference between present tense and past tense.

Room temperature IQ on you there boy.

1:53 PM  
Blogger MDeja said...

Damn. It's hard to believe that the most hard-pressed hickster fans will completely throw off the gloves of civility when defending such a shitty amateur college football team. I mean, c'mon people, the huskers really kinda suck this season. Deal with it. Whatsa matter? If they don't win it all do your little minds lack the capability for coming up with something else to talk about at the local watering hole? Sheesh. Break out the Highlights and crayons already so that you are absorbing something more along the intellectual capacity you posses and leave the football to grown people.

AJ - Great blog!

Go Blue!

4:49 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...


8:03 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

JP, you don't have a fucking clue.

I am from the great metropolii of Chicago, Winnipeg, Syracuse, and Cincinnati.

Who's the fucking hick now?

10:01 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I just think it's funny when:

a) People care that much about what one person's opinion (ie me) is.

b) Keep clicking on a blog they say they hate. I hate the Huskers. I can count number of times I've been on a Husker related website or blog (not counting Mike's) on one hand. Seriously..I don't care. It's all about me. That's what blogs are about. Duh.

c) How much losing has affected Husker fans. Most are pretty level headed..but some people have some serious issues with this all.

It's just a game..played by kids. and this is just a blog..done in spare have fun with friends and co-workers. If you can't handle it, then that's you're problem.

PS - Although I will never PUBLICLY back the University of Michigan at anything...let the public record show, I would NOT BE SAD AT ALL if Michigan beat the Hicksters by 60 later this month.

Look for the bowl extravaganza coming soon.

8:22 AM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

yer right.. I'll leave this to you and your "mature" friends

read a book sometime morons

GO BIG RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:58 AM  
Blogger AJ said...


12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

41 = your IQ

24 = your age


3:02 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I WISH I was 24. That'd be awesome. I'd even take the 41 IQ.

I thought 4124 was the amount of yards the blackskirts gave up that day.


3:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ I can't wait till we meet so I can kick your ass.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JP Sam is just pissed because he is a washed up goalie who thinks he was something when he "played" at UNO. All the guys on the team hated him. So of course he has to let off some steam, this is the only way he knows how. Him and AJ suck each other off at night.

4:13 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

"Him and AJ suck each other off each night".

Wow..this is some good stuff. It's funny, somebody asked why I didn't delete some of this crap...but this just goes to show what I have to deal with in certain Husker fans every single day.

Once again..I'll say it for the last time....If something I say pisses you off so much that you have to physically threaten me (while hiding behind anonymity, nice)...then you have some serious self-esteem issues. Especially with the homo-erotic themes you guys bring up ALL the TIME.

Good god...can either one of you guys go one post without talking about cocks, or cranks or dicks in somebody's face or something?

Sheesh....the passive-aggresive behavior is pretty sad actually. Sheesh...just words boys.

9:59 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - Let the record show that according to the IP trace, Mr. Anonymous and Mr. Anderson are using the same computer while posting on my blog.


Good try though.

10:03 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

My mistake.

This is the same assclown who got kicked off of Jon's site who posts from Oriental Trading company.

Must be on a break from sorting out troll dolls.

Anyway...North Korea rules are in effect until I get bored.


8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, what the fuck are you talking about. You are such a dumbass. How do you get up in the morning and look yourself in the mirror?

8:51 AM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...


For the record you wouldn't know how to check an IP address to save your ass.

I have called you out many times without "hiding behind anonymity."

I don't know who the other person is who thinks you're a twink.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous deron said...

Nebraska fan is hilarious. I personally have enjoyed the implosion of Hickster fan the last few years and they dont disappoint.

AJ you are able to put into words what many already think.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Someone who makes such big claims about someone else, should be prepared to back those comments up.

Until that point, you're just a jealous blowhard. And proving true everything anti-Husker that is posted on this site.

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Chris said...

AJ I totally disagree with your prediction of 175-3 prediction. That would indicate that the hickster offense could get within scoring range. All 14 of there points will come on defense.

Weasels 96 hicksters 14

1:43 AM  

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