October 1, 2006

Well Well Well

Well Good Morning Husker fans!!!!

First of all, congratulations on a big big win last night. I know Husker magic was more of a Tom Osborne/Bob Devaney thing, but it seems that there is just something special about Memorial Stadium under the lights. I don't know what sort of paranormal force that permeates around that old building that allows the Huskers to buckle in..reach deep down, and pull out a hard fought victory over a big time opponent. True, the Huskers were up 17-0, and looked like they were going to cruise to another easy victory (something they're VERY used to), but they fought off the attackers valiantly, only to ride off into the sunset with yet another W in the standings.

Or you can look at it another way, and realize that KU's SECOND STRING quarterback just torched the munchkin-esque secondary of NU for over 400 yards. For those of you math wizards at home, let's add it up. In the past two years against Kansas, the mighty Huskers...a team who some of you (sorry..had to stop typing to chuckle) thought would play in a BCS bowl this year...has now put up 1002 yards. That's 1002 yards to a team that finished TENTH in the big 12 in passing in 2005. That's a team who in 2006 has thrown up a whopping 220 or so yards per game passing..and that's including last night debacle in Lincoln.

That's OK...maybe you're a basketball team now. (Or is that Creighton? Sometimes I confuse the two.)

So what did you learn Dorothy?

Well for starters, it's funny to see the Husker media in full scale spin mode. A look through various outlets this morning, and you'll see that despite the obvious...ahem...flaws the team may have now, it seemed all anybody wanted to talk about was a) how mentally tough the Huskers were for pulling through in the end and b) how good Kansas is. Well, let me be the first to inform you this morning that not only could KU have won that game pretty easily (how many dropped passes and fumbles inside the 10 did they have), but you also lost to a team that lost to Toledo. Apples and oranges you say? Well sure, Toledo had to take on KU's starting QB and not his backup.

Secondly, despite being quite possibly the fattest guy I've ever seen not strapped to a couch on a Maury Povich special...Mangino can flat out coach. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a very glaring pattern going on in that game. Nebraska had better athletes, but Mangino outcoached the living shit out of Callahan. I'm not sure if it was a scheme change, I'm not sure if it was Mangino challenging his team at halftime while the Huskers headed off to the frat houses to start the party early...but whatever it was, Callahan, Cosgrove and the entire Husker coaching staff looked like the buffoons they are.

So why did Nebraska pound teams like La Tech (who lost by 51 yesterday), Troy (who lost by 18 to UAB) and Nicholls State (I think they disbanded)? Pretty simple really: Those teams were intimidated by the sight of 84,000 AARP members dressed in red sweatshirts. It's really not more complicated than that. Throw out the intimidation factor of the Nebraska myth, and you've got a very very average football team. Kansas beat the living piss out of that team last year, and Barman nearly beat them in Lincoln the year before. The intimidation factor...as patheticly overrated as it is...was completely gone.

So the real question is this: If a traditional bottom dwelling basketball school's second string QB can make NU's defense look that stupid...what the hell is a real offense going to do? Would ya'all care to rethink your positions on how OSU, Missouri, Texas..hell even Iowa State is going to be a cakewalk? Anybody else care to mimic the idiotic ramblings for KOZN's Kevin Kuglar, and talk about how there is no way in hell this teams doesn't win 10 games? Anybody want to take a shot at that now? Anybody seen Colt McCoy? Anybody seen Bobby Reid? Anybody noticed that Missouri's best two receivers are both 6'7?

I would almost feel bad for Husker fan right now if it hadn't been for this summer. ALL summer long, all we heard about was how improved you were. "Everybody is healthy", "Sam Keller is going to lead the greatest scout team of all time". All we heard about was how you manhandled Michigan and Colorado. All we heard about was how great Zac Taylor was. (Who is still pretty good, but obviously handles pressure about as well as a Wal-Mart cashier at the day after training is over) All we heard about was how the North was yours for the taking, and all that was left was trying to figure out whether to stay in Kansas City on the Plaza or over in Johnson County. Herford House for dinner that night? Or Oklahoma Joe's Bar B Que?

I mean this when I say it: NOBODY deserves to be exposed as frauds more than you people. Nobody deserves to have reality come crashing down on top of them more than you. Remember all those ridiculous claims you made way back to, oh I don't know...this past Friday? Remember how great your teams looked against teams that would probably struggle with Creighton Prep? You want to be great again so bad, it's embarrassing.

Please do me a favor. Next time you get all fired up about how great you are, please do a little research on your team. Please take into consideration how bad teams like La Tech, Troy and the others are. Please realize that the only reason USC didn't smear you against the windshield (more than they did) was because your coach is a chickenshit and USC isn't quite what they used to be. So go ahead and convince yourself that you have the toughness to win these games. Keep telling yourself that Kansas is actually really really good. (Here's my favorite) Keep telling yourself this was your "97 Missouri game"...nothing more than a fluke. Well, KU threw up twice as many yards as Corby Jones did that day in Columbia, and this time it was in Lincoln.

If you really want to figure out how this MIGHT derail your family's vacation plans to KC the first week of December, look no further than the guy with the ridiculous reading glasses on your sidelines. He was completely outcoached by the 5th best team in the north on his own turf.

Order restored indeed.

(Photo thanks to Wichita Eagle and Lincoln Journal-Star)


Blogger BleedNRed said...

While I believe your angry obsession with the Huskers crosses into the realm of psychotic rage, you raise some very valid points. Husker fans have a tendency to overinflate the abilities of their players and coaches. I believe that this game exposed some glaring weaknesses in our coaching and team athleticism. We aren't an average team, but we are certainly far from being an elite team. I commend Mangino, KU staff and KU players for their effort. If the truth be told by realistic Husker fans, we were flat out lucky to win. Based on the Husker's performance last night, I would say our odds of winning the B12N are slim. I know there are plenty of Husker sunshine pumpers out there that will brand me a traitor for speaking the truth, but I view myself as pragmatic rather than insanely optimistic. With that being said, I strongly recommend that you seek out the services of a good psychiatrist to help you with your issues of rage against a team and it's fans.

11:03 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

I'll take that into consideration.

Thanks for stopping by.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Dr. Buffenstien said...

AJ, despite watching CU lose again yesterday in Columbia, I had a great time.
Tiger fans are great. Seriously, there was some good natured ribbing right before the game, and one hell of a party after the game. All in all, a very friendly bunch of fans, 100x more class than I have EVER had the dis-pleasure of witnessing in Lincoln.
Both school's fans were excited about beating the shit out of Nebraska.
Hope those cornfuckers get their reality check soon. I'll up my insurance coverage just to be ready.

Great post again..


1:09 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...

Hey AJ,
Whats the pic in your article? Some yummy brownies? Just trying to figure it out.

Thanks in advance!

2:05 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I'm still pissed about Colt Griffin, and Allard Baird's idiotic reasoning behind taking him #1 a few years ago.

McCoy...Griffin...all the same.

Damn Colts

2:23 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - OHF...

Burned toast

Symbolism my friend.

2:24 PM  
Blogger MWH said...


OK....You do have several good points....I will have to bend over and take it like a man........at least for this week.

Just one question. What would you do if the State of Nebraska fell into a black hole and ceased to exist. What team would you jump all over then?

The Cornhuskers will be back in a strong way, sooner then you think.
But that would be good, because it gives you something to do.


4:47 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Actually...at least you're a good sport about it.

To be honest...I kind of enjoyed the mid 90's, because even with Nebraska wins (60 out of 63 or whatever)..it still didn't stop people from acting like idiots. This isn't so much about the team on the field. That was the big thing during the USC game, "what if NU won?"

Answer is..it doesn't matter. The Anti-Husker movement is not just about one game. Hell, even if they would have lost to KU...as amusing as it would have been..the games would have continued, and the dislike would still be there.

Just wanted to make that distinction. Good Husker times or bad...my clock ticks the same. It really doesn't matter..even if you probably don't believe me.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

The game in Ames this week is going to be interesting. You know McCarney knows how to beat the Huskers (as does Mangino... hell, even I know how to beat the Huskers.

Establish the pass early, then when they spend their energie chasing QBs in the backfield, and WRs in the secondary, it opens up the running a game.

I mean, the Huskers couldn't even stop the trio of uh... emmm... errr, I couldn't tell you any names, but they couldn't stop the Kansas receivers-- how do they think they are going to stop Blythe, Flynn, and Davis?

Order Restored? I got two better words to describe the Huskers: TOTALLY FUCKED.

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How to beat the Huskers.

I'd run the linebackers off, and throw underneath them until the linebackers started playing up.

Once Cosgrove got wise to that (maybe mid-fourth quarter), I'd start picking on the corners who couldn't knock down a pass to save their life, or a first down.

And they since the front four from Nebraska can't put any pressure on the quarterback, I'd have all day to pick apart coverage.

I'd give the defense about half the week off because there is no way that Callahan has enough brains to outcoach anyone in the big twelve.

Amazing, when McBride used to have a game like that, Charlie would be held accountable, now all the kool-aid drinkers talk about how great Kansas is. Wonder how Bo Pelini is doing?

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not a NU fan, but i appreciate your choices of place in KC to eat for the Big 12 Championship.

having lived in KC for a couple of years, i would advocate:

Oklahoma Joe's for lunch -- gotta expand your stomach for the big steak at the HH for dinner.

but what you missed, is that you really need to stay an extra few hours the next morning and have Brunch at Stroud's.

1:50 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

blog fodder for ya


4:11 PM  
Anonymous Section96 said...


You write this column too, AJ???

Thought I'd point it out if you haven't seen it already.

8 days 'til the puck drops.

6:05 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

What the fuck?


Heh....I will say his website is prettier than mine...but if that's what he thinks "anti-husker" banter is..somebody needs to send him my way.

What a douche.

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Section96 said...

Yeah, no kidding. I thought he was pretty lame. I've heard radio spots for his website and thought I'd check it out - "meet the REAL Anti-Husker".


9:40 PM  
Anonymous Section96 said...

I think you should do a rant about the Anti-Husker, AJ.

Show him who's boss :-)

9:45 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

I see the Huskers losing to Iowa State, Missouri, Texas and Texas A & M.

I don't see Nebraska winning the Big 12 North, rather I see Missouri taking the honors of facing Oklahoma in Kansas City.

If that anti-husker guy is the "anti-husker", then this site must be satan's headquarters.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Dr. Buffenstien said...

I just heard that the Husker fans started the wave when KU's player was down and hurt for almost 20 minutes.


8:46 AM  
Anonymous AlaTiger said...

"WalMart cashier" -- priceless!

8:32 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

They also blame Washington (and his injury) for turning the tide of the game-- you know, his injury took the crowd right out of the game.

Had Washington not gotten hurt, the Huskers surely would have walked to an easy 381-7 victory.

3:30 AM  

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