Did I Miss Something?

Was there Nebraska vs. Missouri game that I missed? Suddenly, my inbox at work is filled with “Scoreboard bitch” and other pleasantries. My comments page…although as barren and empty as Trev Albert’s mind….even has posts with “scoreboard that” blah blah blah.

It doesn’t really bother me that people at work feel that way. They of course only see the one-game worth of results and apply the it to the way they feel about me and my views. When you're in this business, you come to expect that. That’s fine. But then again, you do realize that a fucking Husker once kicked a fucking ball OVER HIS HEAD WITH HIS ANKLES and another Husker no-name-nobody wide-receiver CAUGHT IT OFF THE GROUND….and I’m supposed to be devastated by a 5-point loss by my lower-level Big 12 basketball team? Even when it's just one of two (possibly three) matchups in 2006 as well?

Did I miss something?

I would have thought that by now, most of you would get what I’m about. Yes, I can spout venom with the rest of them. Yes, I once accused Tom Osborne of having sex with farm animals. Yes, I dedicate 30 minutes a week to tell you how I feel. OK…you got me. But what you don’t get apparently is that this isn’t about single games or even single seasons. My hatred for Nebraska goes well beyond even a big football game. My hatred is directed at a way of life. Not the fact that your team beat my team in a meaningless early February game in a sport most of you can’t even spell….but the fact that many of you ACTUALLY THOUGHT I would get upset about it.

Doc Sadler has done a nice little job at Nebraska, but is he actually “turning a program around” or just making the talent that was there (albeit not that good) play better? And correct me if I’m wrong…but isn’t basketball one of those games..unlike football where an off-shooting night can be the difference between winning by 10 and losing by 30? Mike Anderson is doing a fine job with what he has, and losing to Nebraska…as embarrassing as it is, is no skin off my nose. I really could care less, because quite frankly….and I’ll put it bluntly….you and I could care less right now, because both teams suck.

You see, I know what pisses you off, and it’s not because you love Husker basketball. Oh sure, you might get fired up for a day or two when you beat Creighton every 5 years or so. But when the day is done..I know you’re more concerned about Volleyball, baseball, What JC Keller had for breakfast and the 1971 OU game. Why? Because the "greatest fans in college sports" don’t back a loser. Calling me out after a basketball game is a no-loss proposition for you, because if Missouri wins…you sit back and either say nothing…or start throwing out football stats. You’re so easy to read, it’s ridiculous. Go back to memorizing 800 pages of Rivals.com content, and get back to me when you really give a shit about something. I'll continue to be a fan, and get upset when my team is SUPPOSED to win something..and doesn't.

* I don’t know why so many people said the Super Bowl sucked. Not that I’m some huge NFL junkie or what not, but in the biggest celebration of American imperialism and over-indulgence on the planet…what the hell do you think is going to happen other than the disappointment of failing to live up to the hype? It’s the Bears and the Colts for God’s sake. On one hand, you have a team with the worst rushing defense on earth…and on the other hand you have an offense that is led by Rex Grossman. What the hell did you expect? Me, I’d much rather have a sloppy and semi-competitive game, rather than the 55-10 blowouts that Super Bowls used to be known for.

And NO, I didn’t watch the stupid fucking commercials. Come to think of it…remember back in high school what group of kids cheated more, partied more, and were the biggest group of self-rightious dickheads around? That’s right..the DECA/marketing douche bags. With that being said, not only do I understand why TV sucks the balls of 1000 goats right now…but I did notice a few things while I was ripping my fingernails out, waiting for the game to come back on:

- Budweiser’s target audience with dumb gags is now 13 years old.

- Budweiser spends 900 Trillion dollars on advertising.

- Advertisers think I would buy frozen dog shit if a puppet or zoo animal told me to.
- The American people love T&A with their ads…but get ULTRA offended if Janet whips one out during halftime.
- Prince is a very good musician. Not a lip syncher. Not a gimmick, but a musician.
- I really REALLY don’t need two dudes making out over a Snickers bar. Who writes this shit?

* If it doesn’t get above 30 degrees by June, does Al Gore have to give back that Academy Award?

* The election is still light-years away, and I’ve already realized two things: The Republicans may as well not send anybody to November and I’m already Hillary’d out. I’m neither for nor against her policies, I haven’t really looked that deep into them. But I do know that 19 months ahead of time, I’m already sick of hearing her name every 5 seconds. 2008 is going to suck.

* Do any other UNO fans agree with me yet on Mike Kemp? Look no more to last Friday, with an absolutely PATHETIC effort against a top 10 team? At home? In front of 8,500 people? That’s not talent…that’s not a one-night thing, that’s coaching and preparation. There is no way on earth you can tell me that a team that talented, can’t come out smoking for at least ONE shift and put out at least a bit of effort? This goes back to the same old crap we used to see….lose on Friday night on pathetic effort…and then come back Saturday and play close.

Completely, totally, 100% unacceptable, and I for one am sick of it.

(Thanks to NFL.com for the Manning pic)