May 2, 2008

Right on Cue

“Hey AJ, how do you do it? How do you keep predicting the actions of Husker fans with pinpoint accuracy?”

Good question. Actually, the biggest part of understanding Husker fans…without (God forbid) becoming one, is to see through the fog of arrogance and understand their motives. Now some of you may have heard this before…and some of you may be relatively new. But for a refresher, lets talk about what drives Husker fans. And no, I’m not talking about family (gag), cohesion, unity or my favorite from Tom Shatel last month... hard work. All that stuff is complete crap…nothing more than a picture painted by people who either don’t understand their own souls, or simply don’t want to admit the truth.

The truth of the matter is, what keeps Husker fan going is their insatiable appetite for recognition and acceptance. Husker fans didn’t commit mass suicide of Guiana proportions last fall, because they believed that in their heart of hearts…it was simply a growing pain. Yes, the great Raider Flunky experiment was nothing more than a way to simply learn life’s lessons, as we bridge our eras of greatness. Oh sure, losing to Oklahoma State 38-0 stinks...but everybody goes through that right? (Uhhhh...not unless you're Bowling Green or San Jose State)

But you and I know different. You and I both know that these people weren’t lying when they honestly believed Bill Callahan would change the face of college football. These people were dead flippin serious when they taunted others about their highly ranked recruiting classes…all the while ignoring the fact that they were led astray by a complete idiot.

So what does this have to do with me being right? What does this have to do with me telling you all sorts of stuff that you already know?

Well like the swallows of Capistrano, almost in one fell swoop….the collective tide is turning here behind the red curtain. Slowly, with all the drama and predictability of a Rocky movie, the Husker nation has collectively…as one…shaken out the cobwebs, and climbed back in teh saddle. Gone are the days of being kicked around. Gone are the short-lived theories and batshit crazy stories about running a “pro factory” and how “other programs are jealous’ (Seriously…what on EARTH made you think running your team like a pro team was going to work? I mean..don’t you think somebody would have tried that by now? What the hell is wrong with you?) I've heard more positive outlooks on Husker football this week than I've heard in the past 7 months combined. The whining has stopped. The complaining has faded. Hopes are rising. Myopia is once again clogging the brains of the ignorant.

So thankfully…for the mercy of my own soul…the march of war echoes again faintly in the distance. The gridiron clashes are still months away, but the sound is distinct. Oh sure, instead of cannons and bombs they’re now wielding chopsticks from Hu Hot and a slingshot made out of Birchwood…but damnit, right on cue…Husker fan has picked himself up off the mat, dusted themselves off..and headed right back down the road to perdition…..just as I said they would.

I thank you for sticking with me these last five months or so before I go on the attack again. It was quiet and it was borderline maddening…but I can assure you…they are about to return….and right on time. And rest assured, I will be here to deal with them once again.

Let the summer begin.
Let the hype begin to slowly boil again
Let the myopic vision of red-clad millions begin their long road to madness.

We’ve been waiting for you guys.

Welcome back.

** Real quick on the new stadium for Omaha…

I know I get a bum rap about “hating Omaha” and “hating the College World Series. And yes, the people who run that tournament are still evil, twisted and would saw a 5 year old in half with a hacksaw if it meant busting them for illegal t-shirt sales. But damnit, props to the city of Omaha for having some vision and getting the new stadium done.

Oh sure, some idiotic “lunatic fringe” of "Save Rosenblatt" as Husker Mike calls them have tried to make things interesting, but in the end, I think it was pretty safe to see that if Omaha didn’t make a drastic step to keep the series, the NCAA would have pulled out of here without so much as a wet nap and a kiss goodbye.

To those who helped get it done (other than MECA…who still sucks)…bravo.
To those who tried and stop them…I guess some extra hours working in the Wal-Mart outdoors department will have to supplement that $5,000 bucks you earned each summer parking cars on your lawn… you were only going to spend on crack cocaine or rims for your 1989 bass tracker boat trailer anyway.

** Coming up soon…the 10 greatest Huskers of all time. Stay tuned and have a great weekend.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh sure, instead of cannons and bombs they’re now wielding chopsticks from Hu Hot and a slingshot made out of Birchwood…

I don't care who you are, that was damn funny. I just about spewed Coke all over my laptop when I read that. I'm coming back for the Virginia Tech game this year and I don't care that you hate the Huskers, I'd buy you a beer any day.

Good stuff...

10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

top ten huskers of all-time...Christian Peter HAS to be #1
considering he held a girl down in a dorm room and jerked it on her..and Osborne did NOTHING, not a SINGLE missed game.

And no one ever talks bout's always the bar incident or LP. How is this one not 10X worse???

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So as long as you're predicting the future, how do you see Pelini's career going here?

4:56 PM  
Blogger Greg Morrow said...

I found this cesspool because it's linked from "Corn Nation," which was linked to my favorite site by Jon Johnston, who felt obliged to link his name to it.
I've got to say... this is fantastic!
I don't intend to refer to your team, since they're both irrelevant and not interesting enough to critique, anyway. A whole lotta not worth bothering with. (I'd actually have to learn more about the team, to despise it. I'd rather save that energy for Buffy, which I wouldn't do anyway.) Same with your fellow fans, of whom I've never met even one.
But, as you and I know (all too well) it's all about Nebraska! At least with the states bordering it.
Everybody else across the country thinks we're the best fans and some "tool" like you isn't going to change that, even if you and I know better.
So, do what you do. Like a hamster on his wheel, you'll provide another entertainment source, an amusing virtual "freak show," with your eyes and teeth either missing, or pointing in different directions!

1:34 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

This cesspool has been around a long time and probably gets more hits than your Star Wars blog. Not that it's a big deal..just something to note. Then again...maybe your blog gets tons of hits? I dunno.

I'd hate to see what you'd say back during the fall. I'm just damn impressed with the balls it takes to go to the "Your team is irrelevant and not interesting" card.

Good stuff.

Please stop by again.

Oh, and PS - Jon's a good guy and I've done some work with both him and other Husker bloggeres. Again..not really a point...just something to think about over your bowl of gruel and corn cakes this evening.

3:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, please tell me you will have a post about the article in the Journal Star this morning about how "fill in announcer's name here" hates Nebraska football. Seriously, how does this even get printed?

Almost every fan base for every team thinks a certain announcer hates their fan base, but Husker fan thinks that whole networks hate them.

6:39 AM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

I thought Husker fans were the best fans in the world. But then I start hearing statements from jackasses who think top 10 teams are 'uninteresting' and not worth following.

You guys are great fans.....not follow the top ten kind of great. Just a kind of great where you get to say it out loud...without actually backing it up with appropriate behavior.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That new stadium is going to revitalize the downtown area ... for 12 days out of the year.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look at me, I'm Greg the Husker fan. We're the best fans, we're the classiest fans. And that's all that matters to us (let's see how 'classy' your fans are after another few years of disappointment).

You know what's not going to be interesting enough to critique, Greg? The ass-kicking your Huskers take in Lincoln this year.

Tiger Fan in KC

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

"This cesspool has been around a long time and probably gets more hits than your Star Wars blog."

Sounds like you're the one that wants recognition and acceptance. I find it interesting that you rail on rogue Huskers while your boys are running away with the Fulmer Cup.

10:59 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Stop with the stupid fucking Fulmer Cup stuff.

If you would like for me to go on the record and start breaking down Nebraska thugs vs. Missouri thugs...will do so. (Quite easliy I might add.)

And I don't need some stupid ass two-bit lame Fark-filled football blog to speak for me.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the link to the story that anonymous was talking about:

Geez, you Husker fans have some high and mighty arrogance.

Have fun with the 7-5 nobody cares bowl season.

Oh, and for the additional taxes you'll have to pay on top of the already insane amount of taxes for a stadium used a whole two weeks a year.

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon from 8:44am,

If you take a second to look around the NoDo area you may find that there are no less than five construction projects going on as I type and probably many more to come in the coming months and years. The new stadium only accelerates the rate at which that area gets revitalized.

Also, Aj set your wash cycle to spin.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has started....

One can only hope this one brings the same good fortune the Callahan coin brought.

Also, I couldn't help but laugh at "I don't intend to refer to your team, since they're both irrelevant and not interesting enough to critique, anyway." The best part about that comment is, you could put a Mizzou sweatshirt on him and point him towards a Husker fan, and then you have something going. Hey Greg, typical husker fan, morrow. Your team has been neither entertaining nor realivent since they cried their way to a shared title in 97. And please, please dont bring up how you backdoored your way into the title game against Miami, only to take it in the backdoor like the little girls you were. Grow up man, its not the mid 90's. Camero's are no longer in, Friends is on late night sindication and husker stroided up glory days have gone the way of mullets and mesh cut off jerseys. They are gone baby. They are just gone...

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The term 'NoDo' needs to go away now. Sorry, unless you're New York City or London, you shouldn't have the right or privilege to use acronyms like that, especially in Omaha, Nebraska. I'm from Omaha, and anyone who uses the term 'NoDo' is delusional and lame. Get out and travel a bit and get off the high horse of how great everything about Omaha is.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great aritcle for Sunday Morning QB. He thinks Mizzu is going to be great forever!

The Nouveau Riche: Missouri
Posted on Mon May 05, 2008 at 03:41:54 PM EDT

The Norm. To say Missouri was in a rut during Gary Pinkel's first six seasons would be an understatement. In fact, it goes back quite a bit farther than that: Missouri's last conference title was in 1969, in the Big Eight, a conference subsequently dominated by Nebraska, Oklahoma and Colorado as the Tigers remained in mystifying mediocrity. Take the trend pre-2007 and extend it back 35 years:

As for Pinkel, his team's annual Big 12 marks heading into last season were 3-5, 2-6, 4-4, 3-5, 4-4 and 4-4 beginning in 2001. There was some hint Mizzou was good enough to compete for the title in a watered-down North division; there was none at all it would run roughshod over every team it faced in the conference that wasn't Oklahoma.

Get Used To It. The Tigers outgunned seven non-OU opponents in-conference by 15 points and 110 yards per game and set new school records for wins, conference wins, passing yards, total yards, scoring and final poll finish (fourth by the AP after a Cotton Bowl blowout of Arkansas). They beat Nebraska by 35, Texas Tech by 31, Colorado by 45, Arkansas by 31, Texas A&M by 17 and Kansas State by fourteen. They bookended the regular season with wins over two teams that ended in the BCS (Illinois and Kansas). By margin and degree of difficulty, Missouri was as much a non-flukey powerhouse as anybody.

If Chase Daniel was truly a one-man show, it might make some sense to question the offense's sustainability, like a one-shot supernova. But back alongside Daniel is Jeremy Maclin, who set a new I-A record for freshmen with almost 2,800 yards rushing, receiving and returning, and three other receivers (Danario Alexander, Tommy Saunders and tight end Chase Coffman) who combined for 130 catches. Other than Maclin, who can properly fly, these are not extraordinary talents. Daniel is an accurate, first-rate decision maker, and as long as he's well-protected - and Pinkell's system continues to make defenses pay for their aggressiveness with a lot of screens, misdirection and a deceptive, trap-heavy running game - the offense might as well be on high-scoring autopilot.

Enjoy It While It Lasts. The balance of power depends on the sustainability of Kansas' rise - which is shaky - and the durability of Nebraska's sense of entitlement, at least where recruits are concerned; in that regard, the stockpiling of talent, the Huskers reasserted themselves under Bill Callahan after some really mediocre efforts on the trail by Frank Solich's staff. Missouri's recruiting has been a little better the last two years, but still just so-so - Pinkell hasn't brought in a class ranked higher than fifth in the Big 12 according to Rivals, which is roughly how his teams have usually fared. Missouri hasn't won in Lincoln since 1978, and its time at the top may only last as long as it takes Bo Pellini to slam the door.

Never leave me!
- - -Approximate Staying Power. As long as Daniel is quarterback, with a threat like Maclin around, the offense will purr. So at least one more year of the good life, generally. What separates Missouri at this moment from, say, Texas Tech, is that it might also field its best defense of the Pinkel era. Personnel-wise, the Tigers are set in the front seven, where four all-conference candidates are among six returning starters, and at safety, where William Moore projects on more than a few summer all-America teams if he returns from a spring injury at full speed. In the losses to Oklahoma, Mizzou gave up 41 points the first time and 38 in the Big 12 Championship. In the other eleven games, it was the stingiest in the league. If scoring is steady - it should be, based on personnel - those numbers only need to come down a little to make the Tigers legit mythical championship contenders. It could have been them, after all, rather than LSU, playing Ohio State if not for the flop against OU in St. Louis.
Beyond this fall, though, probably not much, not on elite level. Missouri's had good, productive quarterbacks before - Brad Smith, Corby Jones - and been thoroughly mediocre, anyway, because they had to handle everything themselves (Brock Olivo could squat the statehouse, but he was just an OK running back). The current supporting cast seems like an elite group because it has an elite quarterback who can get everyone involved. When Daniel is gone, there's no reason to expect any sustained fireworks on the order of last year's (and this year's, most likely). If the conference title drought doesn't meet its demise with the current group, there's no end in sight.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no f'n way...AGAIN????

11:11 PM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

"If you would like for me to go on the record and start breaking down Nebraska thugs vs. Missouri thugs...will do so. (Quite easliy I might add.)"

GO FOR IT! Don't forget to add your own spin to it.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

"If you would like for me to go on the record and start breaking down Nebraska thugs vs. Missouri thugs...will do so. (Quite easliy I might add.)"

GO FOR IT! Don't forget to add your own spin to it.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous TigerinNC said...

Missouri Husker,

Players that tend to rack up Fulmer points for Mizzou tend to find themselves off the team.

Neb pointmakers tend to find themselves in the starting lineups on Saturdays.

P.S. When possession of alcohol by a minor and sexual assault count for the same "point total", that is all you need to know about the fulmer cup.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Fulmer Cup is a joke. As someone said, one point per charge is a flat-out stupid way to rack up points.

By that counting method, someone charged with first-degree murder would contribute fewer points to the standings than someone charged with DUI and MIP.


4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Missouri Fans,

The Fulmer cup IS a joke from a humorous website. Quit your bitching about it or tell your players to stop getting in trouble.

Anon @ 4:05pm,

What's delusional about using NoDo? That Omaha isn't as cosmopolitan as New York or London? Well no SHIT Sherlock. Fuck have you been to that area? I work there and can tell you some of the folks that roam around there are the exact opposite of sophisticated.

Apologies from me to being lazy and using a term coined by the media to describe a section of town. Next time I'll actually write out 'North of Downtown' so that I'll not sound like such a poser.

7:15 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Uhhh no.

The Fulmer Cup and the website that created it is nothing more than a collection of stuff they link in and post from other blogs...including this one.

The Fulmer Cup itself is a BLATANT ripoff of the scoreboard...which has been around MUCH longer, and actually writes original and creative content.

Oh, and the don't have fake contests to "award" bloggers for excellence...namely themselves.

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Didn't you recently have EDSBS linked up on your 'blog buddies' side bar not too long ago. If not then apologies but Black Heart Gold Pants is a contributor to that site as well and your a big fan of them.

Also, it's a blog Aj. Chill the fuck out. In the past haven't you said your not a professional journalist but just some guy that likes to write. That's exactly what they do (and a trillion times better at that). And don't all bloggers 'share' (i.e. borrow/steal) from other blogs most of the time. Hell, I bet you a million fucking dollars you got that coin graphic from DXP to use here on your site. When they linked up that seal graphic they probably got you new viewers in the process.

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

Do your homework. MIP is not the same points as sexual assault. Like I said.....spin, spin, SPIN!

8:00 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

First, I didn't know I was 'buddies' with everybody I linked to. Usually I do it as a courtesy to others who have me linked on their site.

As for DXP or the other Husker blogs..if you've been paying fucking attention, you'd see me mention about a MILLION times that I have a good relationship with many of the Husker bloggers...including that one.

EDBS got on my nerves, so I took them off.

"Trillion times better' eh?

I didn't know Photoshop was a writing skill.

9:30 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - I linked Black Hearts to this site because I thought they were funny and clever.

I didn't know this was 8th grade, where we all had cliques and roamed the hallways like members of the Jets and the Sharks. This is partially why I hate blogging. everybody wants to be in some sort of a gang.

Fuck that. I write for me. Not you or them.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used 'buddies' since I didn't really know what to call that collection of sites over on the side, so no I didn't believe you to be friends in any way shape or form.

"I didn't know Photoshop was a writing skill." Please. You think your so much better, Hemingway? At least that guy got picked up to write for an actual publication. So you just keep on writing for yourself there, but quit bringing 'viewership' smack like you have the past couple of weeks.

2:24 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Believe what you want...I don't give a shit. I just find it ironic that everybody paints me as some mosnter a-hole who hates everybody and everything...yet I'm completely friendly with the Husker versions of me (kinda) and even to the poing of doing guest interviews and other colaborations with them. Yeah, you got me pegged there.

As for "viewership" smack...I'm simply stating the fact. You claimed nobody comes here..nobody cares. I'm simply giving you information that I have that you don't; and that is how many people hit this site.

I mean've been pissing and moaning about site for a while now and you HATE it. if that's the case, how many times would somebody hit it if they actually enjoyed it?

Finally...I find it EXTREMELY ironic that you went to the "he got picked up to write for an actual publication".

You'll know what that's so funny (and damn irnoic) very soon.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm just pointing out that you seem to be contradicting yourself (like that's a rarity around here) in that you had EDSBS on your 'blog roll' (or whatever) and then take them off when they are writing negative stuff about Missouri (Fulmer Cup). Granted it may not be you who is offended, but it seems a lot of tiger nation is a little PO'd.

Uh, I never said anything about you not respecting or liking the Husker blogs. I just mentioned that you probably got that graphic from DXP (or another similar site) and used it for your own purposes. That's just the internet. It's how it works, but don't come after me especially since I'm probably not the guy your thinking of regarding the 'your a worthless site, why do you do this shit' debate. In fact I've been around here for about a little over a year now reading your stuff (and usually checking daily) and casually making points if I feel the need. You bashed EDSBS for little to no reason so I felt compelled to leave a post. Sorry if it ruffled your feathers like it did.

P.S. what did someone take a chance and give you an actual job at a publication? What has this world come too? ;)

8:20 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

K, couple of things here:

1) I did not bash their blog. I respect all bloggers, even those guys. What I said was, the whole stupid "Fulmer Cup" thing was lame, and the fact that douchebags keep pointing to it like it's some actual measure of illegality kept by the CIA or something is pathetic and lame.

2) The get about 9 zillion hits a day. I certainly don't think they need you to stick up for them, but I'm sure they're probably glad. Then again, they're Gator fans, and they probably don't give a shit about anybody.

3) You will know when I bash somebody versus a passing blow.

4) I linked them here after the USC game because they linked me. They took me off (or I fell off, whatever) and I didn't feel the need to send them any more traffic. Seriously, THIS is the most important thing you can bitch about? I called Tom Osborne a molestor once and compared his program to the Nazi's, and nobody said a thing. But bash a popular SEC based blog, and people go ape shit.

5) I shall say this again. If you would like for me to go player by player...and criminal offense by criminal offense for Nebraska vs. Missouri (and most importantly...what happened to them afterward)...I gladly will.

Let me warn you though...I'm a professional at this. (Bashing your team). I don't think you'll like the result.

Just saying.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Greg Morrow said...

"Also, I couldn't help but laugh at "I don't intend to refer to your team, since they're both irrelevant and not interesting enough to critique, anyway." The best part about that comment is, you could put a Mizzou sweatshirt on him and point him towards a Husker fan, and then you have something going."

So, your into role playing sonny?

The "tool's" premise is: "People think of Husker fans as the Classiest in college sports. I know better. I live among them."

Only a simpleton of clownish, buffoonish proportions doesn't understand it refers to classy fans actually in the stadium.
It's how they treat opposing teams. You hear anecdotes all the time, year after year. Must be true...

This "twitch" could be a fan of any team. I thought he was a Buffy fan, at first. They hate the Cornhuskers more, hate to tell ya.
If you and your's have been victimized by the Cornhuskers...Well, get in line.

Personally, I don't hate the Tigers, not a "twitch".

You, skippy, need to grow up.
Have some perspective, before you nip at a man's heels.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) I don't really point out Fulmer Cup standings or whatever but can you honestly say that if it was NU up there instead of MU there wouldn't be mention of it here on your blog?

2) It's not that they need me to stick up for them as it was the contradiction of the matter. Why rip on a site that you actually linked to?

4) It's the offseason man. Not much is going on so I gotta bitch about something here (besides the same 'ol song and dance from your normal posts).

5) I don't think I'll truly like anything that you post (although the day in the life of husker fan & letter to JC Keller did make me laugh out loud) but go ahead with the breakdown post. It will be something new to talk about during the absence of football. My only thought on that is it's dumb to argue sematics on who is more noble of a thug, criminal A or criminal B and sounds more like my Phil. 106 class and not college football.

P.S. By the way don't you hate writting/responding in lists?

2:13 PM  

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