August 2, 2008

Nothing Left But The Tears

I told you that was always my favorite column of the year.

But this time, unlike other times…I think I enjoyed it even more than I usually do. And no, this is not because I picked Missouri to win the North. As I’ve stated a million times, I don’t like picking Missouri to win things because they often don’t. (I love it when people blast Missouri's "history". Like I'm under delusion they've been a power for years. idiots...) Last year was a perfect example. Hell, I even tried to tell you people up front that my opinion wasn’t worth getting fired up about anyway right at the beginning, because it is only one guy’s opinion.

I picked your team last because the evidence is blatantly clear. I picked your team last because 1st year coaches don't take 114th ranked defenses and make them great by getting them to "try harder". I picked you last because you are worse than last year on paper and quite sucked donkey balls even then. I realize this is very difficult for you to digest, but this is not new information. But alas…in the end, you didn't listen and the tantrums have begun.

Make no mistake though...I didn't just start this Husker Jihad. I’ve defended my team my whole life...and believe me, that’s tough to do when you’re watching your team get beat 77-0 to Texas A&M or 66-0 to Kansas State or losing to Bowling Green not just once but TWICE in your lifetime. And yes through it all, I found ways to fight back against the arrogant and the ignorant red-clad fools who surround me. Whether it was memorizing Kirk Farmer’s completion percentage on 3rd downs in the 4th quarter of games played at night or the fact that the 95 Huskers gave up 20 points or more a whopping 6 times in 13 games (doesn't sound like the greatest team of all time to me).... I found a way to argue and statisticly back my team. Yet back in those days, Husker fans around me simply looked down their nose...giggled at my “little program” and went on to even lend their support in some cases. (I think you guys have some good young talent blah blah blah.)

During the Osborne-Solich transition and the early days of Gary Pinkel, the rhetoric between the two fanbases was turned up a notch…and although Nebraska was no longer the dominant superpower they once were, I still tried to find a crevice….some sort of crack in their armor whenever I could. At that time, even an argument about how well Justin Gage was doing immediately was shot back with, “Oh yeah, well we’re just transitioning, we’ll be back before you know it. You’re still just Missouri.”

This blog was born out the arguments of way back then. Back then, I learned to look at your program from different angles, and use your over-abundance of delusional hysteria against you. Thanks to the internet, I’m able to share your ridiculous behavior to the rest of the world…all while watching the show from the middle of the stage.

Last season, as the two programs passed each other at hyper-light speed in opposite directions (guess which direction you’re going?)…you STILL could not handle the fact that your dynastyhas long since been over, and nobody feared one ounce the very team you clutch so close to your soul. I fought back with facts and figures that made my point...time and time again. You on the other hand jumped back into the time machine and completely left common sense behind.

Sam Keller for Heisman?
The WCO will revolutionize college football?
Best receivers in the Big 12?
Bill Callahan is a genius and everybody in the NFL thinks so?

Do ANY of you remember this? Is this sounding even vaguely familiar to you? This wasn’t 10 years ago…this wasn’t 5 years ago. Jesus H Christ, this was LESS THAN ONE year ago.

You clowns aren’t even smart enough to change your line of crap from year to year to try and fool the rest of us. It’s almost as if you broke out the a script, and instead of “Mo and Sam” scratched them off with a #2 pencil and scribbled “Joey and Marlon”. Hell, even the National Championship smack doesn’t do much anymore for anybody anymore, because the average college freshman was a whopping SEVEN years old the last time you were worth a shit. The average college freshman was just eleven when Miami handed you your undeserving ass on National television, inevitably flushing the once might Red into a liquidly swirl they have yet to climb out of.

Today's college football player couldn't tell you the difference between Reggie Baul and Reggie Jackson. Your same old " ____ will win the Heisman" talk is stale and boring. (which is ironic when you consider all the, "your blog used to be interesting, but now it sucks" smack you run.) Your “we just need to restore Husker pride” is so butt ass stupid it’s not even worth arguing about with you anymore. And's not just me; ask pretty much anyone.

Nope, instead of actual facts…or instead of actual REASONS why people think Nebraska will be even remotely good…I get whimsical comments like this:

“You're hatred is so severe it distorts all of your predictions.”

“Tell me at ANY time has MU football been so significant in the History of the conference that would warrant anything from you but relentless hope that ‘This is the year, I feel it’.”

“AJ, the next time I need my table bussed, I'll leave you a big tip.”

“You've been sipping on too much of grandpa's medicine bottle”

“Losing the starting quarterback (another dude you consistently ripped on) ain't that big of a deal especially with the potential Ganz brings to the table.”

“AJ hasn't said anything worthly of remarking about, so why waste my time".


For those of you that don’t dress up as Tom Osborne for Halloween each year, let me point out something to you: These are the ramblings of a broken people. Unimaginative, unoriginal and hell let's face it…in many cases simple blatant COPIES of the same blathering propaganda from recent years past …replies like these are pretty much all that is left. No more talk of yesteryear regarding your National Championships. No more talk about 8 decades worth of 9-win seasons. Nobody even remembers that anymore. Now, the best you can do is, “Your QB eats boogers and you have no history.”

That’s pretty much all I get these days.

When you think about it though, what is happening is the stark realization of a prophecy I made just this past fall. (And yet some people still won't admit it) For you see, your program has been destroyed. There is nothing left. It is completely and totally in shambles. This is exactly why I used the nuclear bomb reference throughout this past fall. And yes…even though some of the cockroaches are scurrying about before the 2008 season…it’s still all ado about absolutely nothing.

My how college football’s greatest fans have fallen.

So as the season draws closer, and our red-clad friends continue to tell me how little of this blog they read (despite hits from Nebraska IP's being up 3x from last year)….please take note and feel free to thoroughly enjoy the fine intellectual nuggets you will find in the comments section. Nowhere else on earth is a sports fan’s soul more eloquently placed upon the alter of reality than on an anonymous comment section of a random blog.

No, for you as a Husker fan...the world isn’t going to turn lush and green again anytime soon. The rivers have dried and the sky is still a blazing shade of orange. Let you never forget that I told you this would happen…and you have to this day failed to listen to me. This is not my fault...this is yours.

But then again, thank God you haven't listened to me.... because without your now daily tantrums, hissy fits and EXTREMELY pathetic auditions for the Jim Rome show…., the rest of us would have nothing but the season to look forward to. You are beaten. You are broken, and you’ve got nothing left but some teams and some flakes of endothermic ash on your shoulders.
There’s no way out. There’s no way to turn back time.

All you can do…is cry and flail away at the nothingness that surrounds you.

Boo hoo



Anonymous Anonymous said...


So now you quote the "Corn Ridden Shit Guy".

“AJ hasn't said anything worthly of remarking about, so why waste my time".

Corn Ridden Shit Guy will be proud.
I hope he checks in on this one.

That's awesome!

Have a nice season.



11:24 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Corn Ridden Shit this day..remains the only Husker fan who has ever visited this site and actually made a point and made it funny.

I respect ability and creativity...something pretty much none of you have shown since then.

And I say it once more, because it's relevant and it is worth repeating. It is strictly coincidence that my blog became "boring" right about the time you started "losing".

I didn't take a lot of science classes in college, but I'm guessing there my be some sort of theory that could tie those two pieces of data together.

Til then, keep telling me how much I you hate coming here blah blah blah..again...and again...and again...and again.

Clicking an X is not a tough skill.

1:32 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

OK, who is more dumb?

Me for writing my opinion, or you telling me you hate it and then coming back over and over and over again?

Just curious.

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ--I got it! I've been trying to come up with a decent analogy for the state of Husker football. While I was reading this post, it hit me. Nebraska is to football what France is to world influence. Just like the French, they can do nothing but summon some faux scorn for the new powers in order to protect their demolished egos. France once had Napoleon and can't get over the fact that they ran him off and have never been strong since. Nebraska can't get over the fact that they destroyed their own program when they fired Frank.

Have a great week, AJ. Only four weeks until we have real games to talk about!


7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. Hope you enjoyed Missouri's 15 minutes, because they're over.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Husker_Engineer said...


The season must be getting close as the vitriol from some of the comments are picking up. God I cannot wait for hate week to get here.

I think what pains most of the Husker fans posting here is the fact that Nebraska football simply is not relevant. Not nationally and not in the Big XII. Does that mean that they won't be relevant as the season progresses? No. They might and they might not. However, some fans -- particularly those who (for whatever reason) became the Husker fans they are between 1994-1997 -- have never accepted that we have not been relevant since Colorado used a trap play to strip us of our manhood. Sure we got to play Miami in the National Championship and won a Heisman, but we were stripped of relevance that night in Boulder.

So, with the season having some promise in the minds of many Husker fans, they cannot accept that we haven't done shit yet to gain that relevance. Even Shatel said it in his article this weekend...paraphrasing, "Right now Pelini is all promise and hype.." Shatel, for once, is dead on with that statement.

AJ is right to question how Bo will be as a head coach. I personally disagree with his assessment. No way we finish lower than ISU (unless they have a KU like year this year and, lets be honest, that ain't gonna happen)

Used to be that no matter what AJ said about NU football versus MU football, we could always just say, "Scoreboard". Well, now AJ gets his time to say "Scoreboard" and for many that is salt meeting wound.

No crying here AJ. I ride out with my boys regardless. I cannot wait for Homecoming this year. Let the hate reign. I am betting Chase does not make a comment this year about seeing the same defenses in High School. Are you gonna go down to Lincoln to see the game?

Will the real Corn Ridden please stand up?

9:45 AM  
Blogger Husker_Engineer said...


That picture of Tom is epic....I need to cultivate that look...get that swirl going....

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not saying I hate it. You just sound like a tool when you say one thing one week and then go the opposite direction the next. For someone who is "mentioned at espn" you would think you would contradict yourself less.

2:11 PM  
Blogger jeffro144 said...

I like your theory. I bet there is a correlation between they losing = boring and the "college football's greatest fans" = winning. Lord knows as a fellow transplant living in Omaha that "classy" should be used loosely with most Husker fans.

Although I think Nebraska is looking at closer to 6 wins, compared to your 4, I still get ridden like a TO blow up doll. I ask this of you big red fan, give me ONE solid reason that you will be better.
Example - Mu fan says "with Chase back, we should be really good." This works because Chase HAS been really good, for 2 years and improved year to year.
Please dont use things like, "Our D-line is back so that will help with the inexperience we have in our defensive backfield." WRONG. The D-line is back, true. Help - not true. See the same D-line that is 'experianced' this year is the same one that was there last year. Remember the one that cant pressure the QB OR stop the run. YEAH THAT IS THE D-LINE YOU ARE HANGING YOUR HAT ON THIS YEAR. WOW.

Come with some facts. Facts like this.
1. Statistically there was little to no improvement at OU and LSU in Pelini's first years. Some areas got better (i.e. rush defense, other areas got worse; sacks, turnovers).

2. Although NU D improved from 2002 to 2003 there is a HUGE difference in the Strength of schedual from 2002 to 2003. The non-con and big 12 season were much easier and the stats for the 2003 were heavily skewed because of those games. In 2002 NU played 5 ranked teams, losing all of those games. Including 2, when NU was ranked higher than the opponent. In 2003 they played 2 ranked opponents, going 1/1.

3. In 2003 NU gave up 31 pts in four games in non-con. Then during the conference season Missouri scored 41, Texas 31, Colorado 22 & KSU 38.
Infact with the exception of Oklahoma St, all the great defensive games nebraska had in confernce in 2003 were against teams with losing records.
Oklahoma St - 7pts allowed (5-3 con, 9-4 overall)
Kansas - 3 pts allowed (3-5 con, 6-7 overall)
Iowa St - o pts allowed (0-8 con, 2-10 overall)
Texas A&M - 12 pts allowed (2-6 con, 4-8 overall).

So with those facts you can look and see that Bo will not make Nu great, nor "competing for the north" anytime soon. He beat crappy teams and had his ass handed to him in half the others. The thing that should scare the shit out of you husker fans is, you had a hell of a lot better football players on your 2003 squad than you have now.

Good luck, your gonna need it

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

crickets all around!!!!

4:40 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Mr. Engineer, that was a good post. Well done.

As for the guy who says I..."go one way one week, and then another"...please give me an example.

I've been doing this every 3-5 days or so for four years.

I'm pretty sure my views are pretty clear by now. (And if you aren't picking them up..then maybe it's just you)

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Baby Jesus Osborne pompadour kicks ass.

10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Husker_Engineer (My damn login is not working)


Good facts. I am in no mood to go searching to make sure you are right and will give you the benefit of that doubt on every statement you made -- except one.

The talent level, across the board, is higher now than it was is 2003. Of that I have little doubt. In a few months, we will know who is right on that point.

You asked for a Husker fan to point to one thing that make this team better than last year. I give you several:

1. Offensive emphasis on ball control Keeps the defense off the field and helps maintain a favorable pace.

2. QB who knows the system I am not going to pimp Ganz's stats because I think they are junk stats and his 7 INTS in that 3 game span overshadow them. However, he does know the offense well and if he is not put in a position to have to make difficult throws, he could do well.

3. Motivation This is certainly not something one can quantify, but passion, emotion, and motivation play a big part in college football -- as opposed to the NFL. I saw almost every home game last year and there was not much of this in evidence after USC ran over, through, and around us all night.

4. O-Line More than one prognosticator seem to believe we have a very good offensive line.

5.RB's I believe we have a very talented group of running backs. I am not going to say Heisman and Lucky in the same sentence -- okay, so I just did, sue me -- however, he is a guy that had a 1000 yard rushing season and a 750 yard receiving season....the 1000 yards rushing is an amazing feat all by itself considering the running game was an afterthought in Callahan's mind last year.

We were 5-7 last year. I assume better means 6+ wins. I can name 5 wins off the top of my head: Western Michigan, San Jose St., New Mexico St., Baylor, and Iowa St.

So, if we win one other game, we would be better, no?

Of the remaining games, I see only 3 of the 7 that will be very difficult to win: Missouri, Texas Tech, and OU.

I believe that KU, KSU, CU, and Va Tech are games we can win if we play well that day.

About 3 and a half weeks we begin to see how things are gonna play out....I cannot wait.

PS Thanks for the comment AJ. I meant every word about the relevance. I think some people would enjoy the ride much more if they stopped focusing on the destination so much. Heck, I endured -- in person -- the worst NU season I ever hope to see last year.....and you know what, I do not regret going to any one of those games because I always have a great time in the Stadium.

In fact, the two best times I had were:

Ball St: It was an exciting game regardless of the fact that they are a MAC team and 10 years ago we would have destroyed them. They played a great game that went down to the wire. For a MAC team, they brought a lot of fans and -- as I sat in the visitors section for that game -- were fun to be around.

Okie St: I got a chance to take a life long OSU (Stillwater transplant) to his first NU game in Memorial Stadium. He had a great time and I enjoyed showing him around. Certainly I wish we could have been more competitive....and next time I expect we will be.

Anyway, it is late....looking forward to kickoff...

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Mr.Shrink said...

We should all pity AJ. Dude has serious issues to be wasting so much of his life blogging his hatred. Wow. Every time I I'm feeling down, I'll remember how pitiful you are. It will brighten my day.

10:13 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

I keep seein ISU getting mentioned from time to time here. We need to rethink ISU projections for this year...

ISU was supposed to go 0-12 last year... Look at what really happened, they beat IOWA, KANSAS STATE, COLORADO.... they gave OKLAHOMA and MISSOURI ALL they wanted.. Not bad for first year coach Gene Chizek.

(With the season on the line, what happened when NU played Colorado?)

From what I can tell, they had a great recruiting season, and their QB that played behind Brett Meyer was a phenomonal runner.

And for all you folks that think the clones aren't going to open a can of 'asswhuppin' on NU in Ames this year , it seems you drank too much of the koolaid Steve left behind in his hurry to get out of Lincoln.


10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still an f'ing boring read!!!


1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A friend linked me to this today. This post is laced with bittnerness towards NU, not just criticism. Is there some valid criticism, yes.

Ok to turn the tables: Name a university in the state of Missouri that’s been to the final four in hoops (men or women) and the college world series in the last 10 years. Hint, it's not Mizzou. Source of that bitterness? Hmmm...

One big twelve north title in football still leaves Mizzou with a historically second rate athletic program. On top of that, the class of the fan base in Columbia on gameday is also nothing to be proud of - according to the amount of objects I've seen thrown by MU fans at NU players in the 2 games I've been to. With nothing done by security about it.

BTW - A: Missouri STATE.
Go Bears, Go Jayhawks, GBR

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just spent too much time reading the comments from this post as well as the last one (59 comments? Damn!) but I couldn't stop.

I always get a kick out Nebraskans describing we Missourians as a bunch of backwoods clodhoppers. Step back and look at your school's mascot. What do you think comes to mind for the average person when they look at Herbie?

And, in case you forgot, Larry the Cable Guy made the player introductions for one of your nationally-televised games.

Stomp your feet and throw a fit if you want ... but geez ... let's keep this real.

-- Cliffcat

5:36 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Everytime somebody says, "This blog is so boring..." I always laugh. Why? Because the guy who always says it always comes back.

Pity me? At least I'm smart enough to click the 'X' on things I don't like.

PS - And to those who always drop the.."I just found this and this is the most vile and hate filled blog blah blah blah" card on me: Good thing you weren't here when you were good.

I've been treating you people like puppies compared to what it used to be like around here.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous TigerinNC said...

Just when I thought I'd seen everthing on the comment section, I see "Go Jayhawks, GBR". Just reading that should give any alum or true fan of any school the heebie jeebies. Quite the fan club you have here AJ.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Toddler573/314/618 said...

I guess some people forget that this has become a 'what have you done for me lately' world.

It is unfortunate that a program is not ranked for their past accomplishments, Nebraska would be in the top 25 for about 4 weeks.

I was there in Columbia from 1996-2001, most of the time watching my team get corn-holed with a sandpaper lined schlong. Well, shoe is on the other foot now, and how sweet it is! We deserve to rub your noses in it for a long time, and something tells me that won't be a problem.

Nebraska a powerhouse ever again? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah people are lining up to go play football at an irrelevant college in the middle of nowhere with no TV exposure. Ask Mr. Gabbert or the two other recruits he brought with him why he got cold feet over Nebraska.

Besides, black and gold looks so much cooler and intimidating than red and white. Why do you idiots call the defensive starters the BLACKshirts?

And you want to talk about history.... let's talk in 5 years and compare the relevant NFL talent each school will have comparatively pumped out over the last 10 years.

Pelini's recruiting tool - "Well kid, we can get you the equivalent of a GED education, you may get some boom boom from a few barnwarming queens and all 2 million people in the state of Nebraska will love you for your contributions of the smashing of Western Michigan. And hey, when you don't make it to the NFL like so many Huskers before you, we always have room for another sanitation engineer here in Lincoln."

We don't have to rebuild anymore, we just reload baby. You guys will be rebuilding for a while, if not forever. Enjoy the beatdowns and bottom feeding.


11:34 PM  

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