The 2nd Annual College Football MythBusters Column
Regardless, today is a pretty good day rant because of the incessant babbling that follows one of the great rights of summer….Big 12 media day.
Now if last year was rather humorous listening to local Omaha radio personalities stammer at just how ANYONE could bet against the 2007 Huskers…then this year was borderline hilarity as listeners got to hear local radio and print reporters from Omaha attempt to throw a positive spin on what is sure to be a hopeless season. And for good measure, they were faced with the monumental task of trying to downplay Missouri’s overabundance of talent this year…while at the same time, throwing in snide comments and veiled (or often not so veiled) disdain.
But hey…at least none of them asked Chase Daniel booger questions, so I guess that is an improvement.
So before we breakdown the 2008 soybean curtain defense, I’d like to re-visit one of my favorite bits from last season. As you may recall at about this time, we took some time around media day to breakdown the truth about some of the most hyped story lines in college football. With that, let’s take another crack at mythbusting….college football in July style.
MYTH – Bo Pelini will have the Huskers playing at their highest intensity level in years.
FACT – This is a loaded question…kinda like, “If I shot you in the face with a shotgun, it would probably hurt.” Well no shit it would hurt…Cripes... Richard Simmons could run Husker practices in assless chaps could lead your team better than Bill Callahan. However, will that be enough to offset the gigantic lack of talent sitting in your cupboard? I’ll give you a big fat hint: No.
MYTH – Ohio State vs. USC will be the game of the year in college football.
FACT – USC is going to assplant Ohio State into the stone age. I hope another good game is on ESPNU that night, because this isn’t even going to be close. (Too bad nobody will care by November when everybody else loses in conference, and the Buckeyes waltz over powerhouse programs like Purdue and Minnesota)
MYTH – Kansas will challenge Missouri for the Big 12 North Title
FACT – Like Belinda Carlisle and the Go-Go’s, KU comes around about once every 10 years or so to make a brief appearance..then only to disappear into the black bowels of nothingness. The Squaks were a 2007 byproduct of luck and insanely lucky scheduling. No such luck this year.
MYTH – Notre Dame will win 9+ games this season. (I actually heard Beno Cook say this on the ESPN podcast last week.)
FACT – Seriously…. Bo Pelini has a better shot of landing the lead role in the off-Broadway production of 'A Chorus Line' than Notre Dame has of winning 9 games. Completely and totally ridiculous, I don't care how easy their schedule is.
MYTH – West Virginia will break through and carry the Big East flag into another BCS game.
FACT – No way West Virginia wins the Big East this year. Take it from a guy who has seen his team lose big games over and over again. I don’t care what they did to Oklahoma, that loss to Pitt will set them back years. Throw in the whole Rich Rodriguez saga, and you’ve got not just a small step back..but several.
MYTH – Texas Tech will FINALLY break through and beat OU to win the south.
FACT – As much as I’d love for this to be true (and how great would it be to see MU-TT go at it at Arrowhead? Especially considering the Tigers own Mike Leach), the Raiders simply don’t have the leadership abilities to get past a squad like OU. Oh don’t get me wrong..they are absolutely loaded. But throwing the ball around at will against West Texas A*M is a bit different than playing with OU with a division title on the line. Best the farm on OU in that one. (And for most of you…I mean that quite literally)
FACT – Iowa State may suck this season, but will absolutely shock somebody at home…perhaps even the North favorites?
MYTH – Marlon Lucky is a legit Heisman contender.
FACT – I can’t even answer that myth without laughing. Next statement.
MYTH – Tim Tebow will become the 2nd player ever to win multiple Heismans
FACT – He might if ESPN continues to stick their tongue in his ear for no other reason that he has a cool sounding name. Tebow’s stats were pretty impressive in 2007. (895 yards rushing and 3200 yards passing.) However, three of his biggest games rushing the football came against Ole Miss, South Carolina and Troy. (5 TD’s against the Gamecocks didn’t hurt..especially when all of them were inside 10 yards.) Personally, I think it’s Knowshon Moreno’s to lose.
MYTH – Clemson will find a way to choke in the ACC with all that talent.
FACT – This is not a myth. It will most likely happen and we'll have to put up with more Bowden talk on a nightly basis. Just fire him now and save the trouble.
MYTH – Georgia will play Ohio State in the National Title game
FACT – While congress is investigating the oil industry, somebody needs to burst into the Big 10 offices, and start swinging clubs. Ohio State, Michigan and the Big 10 have fucked up the process so bad, it’s absolutely astonishing that the Buckeyes have been to two straight BCS title games. But when all you have to do is beat other crappy Big 10 teams (They’ll get a pass getting blasted by USC), and waltz to the title game..something is wrong. Screw the playoff whining…somebody needs to stop this Big 10 shit and make them play a title game even if it’s at gunpoint. As for Georgia, their schedule is WAY too tough to be taken ultra seriously as a title contender. No flippin way.
MYTH – Florida State will return to glory and be the feel-good story of 2008.
FACT – Miami will hold that honor. Randy Shannon and a new stadium will be enough to turn that program around quickly. 11 true freshmen started for the U last season. Just watch.
MYTH – BYU will be the spoiler Du Jour of 2008 for ESPN and others to slobber all over.
FACT – BYU will lose to Utah and the out-of-control BCS hype will stop right there. No Boise or Hawaii magic this year will be required.
MYTH – Missouri will lose a game they shouldn’t.
FACT – Like any Mizzou fan, I’m STILL waiting for the other shoe to drop. However, with as much talent as Gary Pinkel has this season…even HE can’t screw this up with this schedule can he? Of course he can. Leading candidates for a slip up are Iowa State (yes Iowa State) and the Arrowhead match up against a shitty KU team who will have nothing left to play for.
MYTH – Joe Ganz will be the Husker’s MVP for 2008
FACT – Joe Ganz may not even be the starter by the end of the year…and it won’t be injury related either.
MYTH – Bo Pelini’s honeymoon period will be at least 2 seasons until he gets his players in his system.
FACT – Ummmm, no. As soon as you people are staring at 7 losses (by October), the fire will turn back up, and the realization will hit you all at once that there is nobody left to fire. Look for Tom Osborne to make at least 84 “the program is fine” speeches to the news media and an extra 85,355 pictures of former Husker All-American’s hung outside the football offices in a desperate act to recapture that lost spirit.
Won’t be long now….
PS – OK fine..twist my arm. Here’s the Mythbuster girl again