A Great Big Bag of Expectations
So why were they so freaking good?
I’ve kicked this question around literally for years; and finally…after nearly three and a half decades of life on this planet, I have figured out the answer.
You see, Munchos are great because you don’t expect much when you eat them. Think about it. You get them at some dirty gas station, usually right next to the Slim Jims, and just below the powdered donut gems. At this particular point, you don’t expect the delicious fried potato perfection that is Munchos; especially in a rusted out shithole truckstop just outside of Salina. But since you’re trolling through a such an establishment at 3am, (And you're 12) your brain is convinced that your only options border on the bland, lame and repulsive.
Yes, despite the strange aftertaste and funky texture of the top of your mouth after eating them, Munchos are the king of gas station chips because of your expectations.
Let’s take a look at this word for a second, since we tend to talk about it quite a bit around here. This morning on a message board, a question was posed of Missouri fans as to whether or not they could handle the pressure of running with the top dogs in all the land in 2008. As a lifelong fan who has taken such proverbial kicks to the nuts as Tyus Edny, Northern Iowa and a long list of disappointments, you might be surprised at my non-holds-barred response in 0.3 seconds of, “Yes.” I personally (as a fan) am ready for my team to hold the giant bulls eye, and quite frankly…I don’t see what the big deal is. I embrace it. I expect it. I've waited a long ass time to hold it. Even though the Tigers are improved, I realize that they are an emerging program with little or no real history. Contrary to what many of you rocket scientists think: My expectations…even for this season…are low.
However, if you want to see the flip side of expectations and the horrific damage they can do, lets turn our attention back to you and the million or so other red-clad Big Red fans who feel it is their biological duty to personally will your team back to glory.
Just as Munchos are an unexpected and satisfying surprise at the gas station, the exact opposite reaction can be said for something so over hyped and overexposed, that it leaves you feeling disappointed and disenchanted. Perhaps this can be equated to an over hyped “National Power” that is going back to it’s “original formula”, yet is still bland, dull and over glorified. In this particular example, let’s call them Fritos.
Fritos are a staple of gas stations and grocery stores everywhere. A former giant in the salty-snack business, this giant brand name snack has tinkered with it’s formula time and time again. Chili Cheese Fritos, BBQ Fritos, Giant Scoop Fritos, West Coast Offense Fritos, 3 Cheese Fritos and then Jalapeno Fritos. Hell, as of late they’ve even put them in circular containers and called them “twists.” (If I wanted to eat fucking "twists", I'd scarf on a pretzel) And although they’ll never be copmletely terrible; the Fritos people...for years...have been trying to hide the fact that their overrated and boring ass product has become dull, bland and predictable. No matter what they do to it, it isn’t going to get any better.
So what’s the point of all this?
The point is, Munchos kick ass because you don’t expect much out of them. Their unexpected goodness helps increase the positive snack chip experience. It puts you in a better mood. Each crunch vibrates through your soul as you enjoy each and every unique crumb. Fritos, while good…are NEVER as good as your brain thinks because the expectations are there; the flashy marketing, the billboards…the whole thing. But in the end....
Same goes for College football teams. Those of you expecting 9 win seasons better check yourselves and lower that bar just a little bit. Meanwhile, take your rebuilding process for what it is, and enjoy the little things that surround the college football season:
A first down
The sound of the band
Why don't you listen to me for once in your lives? Following these guidelines will make all the difference, and will allow you to avoid the inevitable pork rinds that are bound to make their way to your gut by the time late November rolls around.
* Funny to hear the Omaha media today complaining about the Big 12’s TV announcements today. For those of you unaware, only the Nebraska vs. Colorado game is scheduled for television coverage on the ABC family of networks this year. (Of course with the possibility of others if ancillary teams go into the shitter.)
Don't get me wrong, none of this really matters because as I said last year…TV schedules and glowing lights of ESPN never won anything. But alas, it is pretty funny to see you get the ass end of a stick you were so willing to swing around last year.
* Finally, since it’s late May, it must be time for another Husker baseball choke job. I realize the bandwagon has slowed somewhat, and I realize that your team is far from horrible. But with expectations again in play, when are you going to realize that the mediocre express has pulled into the station, and it aint going anywhere anytime soon?
Ahhh well. Consider it karma’s payback for flooding Rosenblatt with Eric Crouch Jerseys during the CWS a few years ago. Nobody deserves a kick in the gut like you do. Congrats.
* Oh and PS, I’m going to shift gears on my greatest Huskers ever segment. Somebody reminded me today that we are 100 days from the start of the season, and damnit…we’ve got other stuff to talk about.