May 14, 2008

Husker Nation Strikes Back

I really hate to beat a dead horse here, but I’m still a bit astonished how you, as a collective fan base, have completely and totally played off the last four years as if they were nothing but a black-and-white sitcom from long ago. I’m actually stunned that some of you simply brush off the fact that Tom Osborne destroyed your program (and yes..he did it by recommending Frank Solich and Steve Pederson...don’t kid yourself) 10 years ago…and yet some of you still fight back as if you actually have facts or recent history on your side.

I mean, it’s mind boggling to think that ANYONE who actually witnessed the events of last year can be so full of passion and confidence…..it simply defies logic and explanation. Just when I think you’re ready to settle into your new role as rebuilding underdogs…I see case after case of delirious fandom gone horribly wrong.

Take this little nugget from ESPN.com today. (here) Yes, you read that right…78% of Nebraska residents feel that the Huskers will win the Big 12 North next year. Now I realize I will get called out for being a homer..and maybe to some degree I am. But if ANY of you…and I mean ANY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, can give me one a lone reasonable reason why this remotely possible, please stop reading and click on my comment button below. Seriously, 78% of you? I can see 1 or 2 out of every dozen or so in an unscientific poll going, “Yup….I can dream big and I love polls, go big red!”. But 78 freaking percent of you? And that’s taking into consideration the fact that there are at least a dozen or so people in this state who are like me and actually have not fallen under the brainwashing ways Husker fandom.

My God, even Kansas people…who absolutely HATE Missouri... aren’t this stupid.

So with that being said…I really want to know why. I would like to know, just how in the hell this is possible, considering you are: Losing your starting QB. You are losing your best playmaker on offense at WR. You are losing most of your secondary and linebackers, and are starting with a coach that has all of 1 whopping game of college experience. And yes, I can see how in some cases…like 2006, when the entire division was mired in the crapper this would be possible…but you were 112th in the nation in defense last year. Your two wide receivers look like members of N*Sync. Your coach, has all of 60 minutes of head coaching experience (Against a 6th rate Big 10 team at that) in his lifetime. And yet, you’re picking yourselves over a 12-2 team that returns 18 starters, an All-American and a Heisman finalist?

Are you people out of your fucking minds?

Now again, save your instant knee-jerk feedback and think about this for a second. I already know what you were about to type:

“Hey asshole, it’s just a poll”
“Hey asshole, Missouri plays in Lincoln this year”
“Hey asshole, why do you think you know everything?”
“Hey asshole, why don’t you move?”
“Hey asshole, why are you so jealous?”

It’s reality, I do know everything, I don’t want to move, I’m not jealous of you or anything about you..and they could play that game in the parking lot of a UNICEF food rationing center in Botswana, and you still would be a 20+ point underdog to Missouri. Now again, nowhere in this statement did I say Missouri would win a National title. I did not say you would suck forever. I did not say you would not be improved.

What I’m saying is, you are the same delusional morons who told me you were going to beat USC….twice in the past two years.

I will hand it to you though…even I…your biggest antagonist, wouldn’t think you people could be quite this dumb. But again, it’s not like we haven’t had precedence set here about 900 thousand times. (The USC predictions, the Mizzou predictions from last year, the BCS in 2006, JC’s Heisman trophy etc.) I guess in the end we can only say, “we shall see”. But let’s be frank here: It’s not like I haven’t been spot-on about you people for years. Why would I suddenly go cold now?

**Speaking of Frank, nice to see King Pelini give a shout out to his old boss Bobcat Frank the other day. For those of you who missed it, Pelini is going out of his way to make sure that the Fankophiles hear exactly what they want. Can somebody explain to me the point of all this?

I get you want to pretend it’s 1997 all over again. I get that you want Broderick Thomas and Sheldon Jackson standing on the sidelines at practice, telling some kid who was in Kindergarten at the time about how great they were. But isn’t this Frank-love fest going a bit too far in the opposite direction?

I mean, the last guy you had said that you had to run your team like a pro franchise, and you nearly all believed him. The last guy you had said that recruiting and Rival stars were the most important thing in life, and nearly all of you believed him.

Don’t you think King Bo might be taking this whole Frank worshiping thing a bit too far? Isn’t he going to piss off the Callahan-apologists (or whatever you call them now. They’re all in exile from what I can tell)? And how many games is all of this going to last, before a good chunk of you realize, “Oh crap…this guy isn’t worth a damn either?”

I’m not completely sure what the motives are here, but rest assured…the rest of us think it’s hilarious, and will be right there for you come about mid October.

** Can somebody tell the Nebraska baseball team to stop wearing those STUPID high red sox from 1963? They’re not retro. They’re not cool. They make you look like a bunch of country bumpkins who don’t know how to dress yourselves. Stop trying to be trendsetters, and start gearing up for your annual loss to some WCC team in the regional’s.

** Hey Pittsburgh Penguin fans….blow me. You’re going to make me root for the Red Wings for the first time in my life. You’ll rot in hell for that.

22 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting how only Nebraska, Wyoming and Vermont think someone other than Mizzou will win, and only Nebraska thinks it will be them. I guess the people in the other 47 states just don't understand football. *rolls eyes*

Mizzou 606

6:11 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I'm sure the Kansas result can be explained by Kansas State fans voting for Mizzou...I don't think any Jayhawk fan worth his salt would vote for Missouri in such a poll, but who knows?

8:22 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

True and possible...but there are PLENTY of KSU fans who dislike both and/or dislike Mizzou more.

I liken it more to Mizzou fans on the Kansas side of the border in KC. Probably more likely. But again, just goes to show that even as delusional and crazy as NU fans are...at least they are..for the most part..united as one.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous AWOLTiger said...

Ask 50 people to quickly point to the most delusional state on the map, and do you know where 50 people would point? Ding! Ding! The orange one!

8:35 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Mike, you're a goofy bird worshiping, Zima sipping, Yanni-listening, sweater-vest wearing, women and children killing, outlaw territory living, red-legged terrorist...but I agree with you.

Viva la Rivalry

AJ

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well AJ, its been awhile since I was last compelled to respond as most of the off-season posts have been pretty lame...likely not your fault, but there are only so many ways to say Nebraska sucks and I think you have covered them all ad nauseum.

Now, to answer your question, I have no idea how any Nebraks fan, living in Nebraksa or elsewhere, could possibly think the Huskers will win the Big 12 North.

I have been a Huskers fan since I was a little kid, and despite irrational exuberance at times, I do attempt to be realistic. The reality is that the 2008 Huskers will have many questions to be answered; will the defense have a pulse?; will Ganz cut down on the the turnovers?; can any of the young WR provide play making ability that is mostly lacking in the returing starters?; etc.

I fully expect better effort from the defense (not saying much), with somewhat better results - but I am not about to assume that the Husker D will suddenly look like the 85 Bears. I think 7-5 is likely (a lot of home games should help)with 8-4 possible with an upset along the wey.

Now, it would seem to be board etiquette to insult you as I end my thoughts, but my creativity is lacking this time of night, so choose from any of the following:
douchebag, jackass, goat blower, pussy or dumbass. My personal favorite of course would be for me to call you a redneck and then wait for half the iidiots on here to subsequently argue how the opposing side's state is more hillbilly than their state.

Its nice to be back.

GBR
JH

10:11 PM  
Anonymous saunders45 said...

I think Nebraska fans voted for us to win, because, well we can. The real question is how many were yelling at their PC telling Kirk Herbstreit to f*ck off and laughing maniacally while choosing nebraska.

7:12 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

JH welcome back.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think we will win the north, but I guess what you missed was that Callahan recruited a lot of players, and they will finally be utilized under Bo.

That is all

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ--I saw that poll, too, and was sure you'd write about it. I think most fans around the league think Missouri will win the North this year. That doesn't mean they all want them to do it. Heck, I'm a die-hard Jayhawk, but I think Missouri looks the strongest on paper of any of the teams right now. I hope that once it gets teed up that Kansas is the best in the league, but if you ask me today who I think it will be, I'll take the Tigers. It makes me want to puke, but it's the truth.

By the way, I'm not sure what to call the Callahan apologists either, but I don't think they matter. They remind me of the people who were committed eugenicists in the late 1940s--they're not around. If you talk to Husker fans around here, nobody wanted Frank Solich fired.

Anyway, have a good day. I can't wait for the season to start so we all have some more to talk about.

Bob

p.s. I've not seen it anywhere in the blogs and I'm just curious--are you a Missouri Alum or did you pick them as your team for other reasons.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did not say you would suck forever. I did not say you would not be improved.


So you are saying there is a chance?

12:27 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

The "chance" comment cracked me up. well done.

And no, I'm not a Mizzou alum, but I did grow up in the KC area. I lived there until I was about 14, and then moved up here to the 9th circle of hell.

Nobody actually CHOOSES to be a Mizzou fan...you're just kinda born that way.

12:45 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

Born that way? More like bred that way...like an army of slaver C.H.U.D.'s.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For someone who hates talking about college baseball your usually the one that brings it up.

Oh, and at least WE have a shot at hosting a super reg. unlike some teams I know.

P.S. I expect an awesome Friday night pitching duel between Crow and Dorn. Something that will put the NU-TAMU game last Fri. to shame.

7:35 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

When did I bring it up? (At least consistantly)

And concur. Crow vs. Dorn in the black caldron of death should be pretty good.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

where to begin? Let's start with the cute little beaker. You do realize that in 1882 the fine, enlightened citizens of lawrence, ks were hanging black people simply because they were black. Correct? And shouldn't you be more concerned with any possible repercussions from the latest episode of ku academic fraud as it pertains to Durrell Arthur? Filthiest fucking program of all time resides in the filthiest fucking town in kansas. No wonder you moved to nebraska. It could only be a step up for a kansan. Of course, so would Beirut.
To the hicks. How the hell do you know pellini will get any more out of recruits than cally did? His extensive coaching resume? The fact that he gave up 50 points to the arkies? His containment of Brad Smith the one year he coached at hickville? Or just the fact that the depends wearing kindly old dr. tom hired him?
dumbasses galore.

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HUGE congrats to Pelini on yet ANOTHER PATHETIC recruit commit today...Jesus Christ he is recruiting with Doane and Midland practically. Look at the interest and offers these players are getting from top schools, there is NONE!!!

I guess that is what you get when you hire someone no one wanted, has admited he doesn't like recruiting at all, has little common sense and personality of a dead catfish.

Congrats Osborne, you fucked the program over for the THIRD (Solich, Pederson, Bofense) time...but yet people still slober over your fradulent ass

5:44 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

Penguins play in the Sprint Center yet? Oh...

6:37 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

First of all. How is KU going to be held accountable for a grade changed when a player was a Freshman in High-school, after the NCAA cleared him to play? Everyone on ESPN and on the internets says this isn't KU's issue. The only people spinning in the wind are KSU and MU fans.

Second of all...you think I can't call you slaver or are a hypocryte because TWO guys got lynched??? Did you stop your research there? At two???

Having the same biggoted people as places like Nebraska, Iowa, and Wisconsin at a time like 1882 is understandable, historically. Going to war to stop the natural course of history and fighting for the right for one person to own annother is something a little different.

And for the record. I'm from Nebraska.

No wonder you post anonymously.

7:51 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

The anonymous comment about Pelini's recruiting was a stroke of genius. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Oh, and fuck the Penguins and their fans.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"....P.S. I expect an awesome Friday night pitching duel between Crow and Dorn. Something that will put the NU-TAMU game last Fri. to shame.....

Yes Anonymous.....you nailed it....for 7 innings....even I didn't think the nubs would unravel like they did in the last two innings on Friday....

or that it would carry over to Saturday...loved watching your sunburned fans trudge out of the right field stands at Taylor, rubing their necks from getting their heads jerked right from either watching the ball leave the park or shoot past a nub OF.....

nice post....

Tiger Gary

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nebeaker. You call us slavers for something that happened 160 years ago dumbass. It's the same thing shithead. And I post anonymous while you post your actual name of ne-jayhawk. Very manly of you.

12:55 PM  

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