Hate City U.S.A.
* Over the course of my life, I’ve become rather callous and condescending. Ok, I’ll admit that I’ve almost become borderline evil. But even with all that, I like to think I have a fairly good head on my shoulders as to what to expect in life and how to read most every situation. One thing however that always astounds me surrounds my hometown of Kansas City. Although I grew up with the Kansas-Missouri rivalry all around me, I am constantly in awe of just much these groups of people hate each other. Whether it's at a family get-together back home, or browsing the daily diatribes in the comments section of the K.C. Star; I'm always amazed but never shocked. Rivalry the way God intended it.
So, OK fine. Some Yankee fan actually KILLED a Red Sox fan in New Hampshire the other day. But lets be honest…have you ever met a hard-core Red Sox fan? Not to condone 2nd degree murder, but let’s get real here; who HASN'T wanted to run over a group of loudmouthed chowderheads at one time or another? Anyway, despite what ESPN and the national press says….other rivalries may have more fans involved. Other rivalries may play more consistently for higher stakes…but no rivalry pours in more hatred, more rage, more anger, more pure unadulterated disdain and passionate wickedness than Missouri and Kansas.
When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Despite Kansas being a territory of thugs and criminals during the mid 1800’s, the two states did actually go through a bloody 4 year war against each other. (Not a pansy-assed, politically correct anaolgy for war, but a real war.) But that's not the whole story.
So what does all this have to do with the Huskers? Everything. Watching Tom Osborne and the Howdy Doody people run rough shot for all those years over the Big 8 with their bland offense, their ugly helmets and their hokey self-patronizing ways was bad for the league and bad for the sport. The fact that Hick Nation is now sitting face down in the gutter like the a drunken prom date left behind is a Godsend for so many reasons.
Gone are stupid ass options, boring head coaches (oh wait, Tom’s still around) and an overly self-indulgent mass of humanity that follows their team far and away, like a giant red ameba-like blob of Crisco, blatantly unhidden under a series of red t-shirts and white striped overalls. But in it's place stands the resurrection of a dynamic rivalry that epitomizes everything that is good with sports.
Hate, rage, disdain and flat-out rivalry at it’s greatest.
So for those of you who are sitting in your mom’s basement right now, clutching a copy of the 1994 orange bowl program and sporting a faded “Unfinished Business” t-shirt…please note that your downturn in luck has not only kicked you from the mind of the conscious, but it has also breathed life into the greatest rivalry in college sports; One very few know about, except those who spawned from it’s inception nearly 140 years ago.
Oh, and speaking of such hate…nice to see Kansas get scholarships pulled for being a bastion of the athletically illiterate. Not that anybody else expected different. Nice going Beakers.
* So let me get this straight: Offensive Coordinator Shawn Watson was the genius who led the Husker’s to a #12 ranking in total offense last year, but the guy you just ran out…the guy you all hated…had his meddling hands all over the offense in order to keep Watson from succeeding? Huh?
So how can you be so sure that Shawn Watson is such an outstanding offensive mind, when in the same breath, you complain that Bill Callahan held everything down with his meddling? Which is it?
To me, this will be the story of the season for Hick nation. Bomopia will have his defense playing better, because let’s face it…there’s no way in hell you could play worse. Yet at the same time, very few of you will even notice your offensive efficency dropping like a rock; not only because you’re losing your starter from a year ago (as your best wide receiver and only real offensive threat)…but the guy who actually had his “grubby hands” all over the offense last season is now getting paychecks from the NFL again.
Those of you who are banking on “the offense will be fine”, better take another look at just how and why your offense was ½ decent in the first place. (And yes, don’t get me started on the argument from a few months ago that explains just how easy it is to run up offensive numbers when you are down 35 points all the time and airing things out.) I haven't said "I told you so" in at least a few days. May as well print this off as well.
* So a new arena in Lincoln is coming? I think that's outstanding. Not because I think Husker basketball will suddenly become this giant of a program, awakening from a long slumber, but it will give me really two reasons to follow something other than your minor bowl games (if at all) in the coming years.
First, it will give most of you a reason to at least pay attention to the fact that Nebraska does have a basketball team. With that attention comes outlandish claims, ridiculous expectations and even more idiotic ramblings from people who don't know what the hell I'm talking about. And second is the pending slap-fight with Creighton "fans" over just which bandwagon and sparkling new arena to sit in as you're stuffing garlic cheese fries down your throat.
* For some reason, the year is flying by and it’s already mid-May. Hell, the season starts in less than 4 months. For that reason, it might be time to start breaking down the upcoming continued disaster that is the 2008 Nebraska Cornhusker football team. I’m not sure what sort of direction we’re going to go into next on this blog. But let the record show…with all the uncertainty in Lincoln coming up this fall…you need to know the ridiculous claims and the unmitigated disaster from every angle and as soon as possible. That’s why I’m here...for you.
Enjoy your weekend.