May 18, 2008

A Lob Down the Middle

For about 6 months, I’ve been telling you what a complete and total mess you people are. I’ve mocked your inability to think straight, I’ve bashed you for holding the belief that a 40 year old former player standing on a sideline can somehow make your linebackers actually tackle better. But to most of you, all of this seems to be simply bombastic sour grapes by a blogger with way too much time on his hands, coupled with a gigantic chip on his shoulder.

Thanks to an anonymous Husker reader, enter this little nugget. (here)

I also know that the most important thing in your life is tradition. Now I personally think tradition is the most overrated of all qualities in sports. Hell, the Cubs have a lot of tradition, but it certainly hasn’t helped them over the past 100 years. But when you start making videos of a banquet and a press conference, I think suffice it to say you may have reached rock bottom.

So let me get this straight…for $25 of my hard earned money…I can get highlights of a Bo Pelini, standing over Chicken Florentine and Au gratin potatoes, tell me about how great it is to be Nebraska’s coach? But there’s more! I also get highlights of Bo Pelini’s initial press conference WITH CORRESPONDING QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS from Nebraska’s award winning radio, print and TV journalists?

But THAT’S NOT ALL!!!!! I also get highlights of the 2008 spring game, where a collection of 5th string defensive backs can run around Memorial Stadium, falling down to a chorus of whistles and instructions, all the while being watched by 80,000 mesh hat wearing freaks with absolutely nothing else going on in their lives on a sunny April afternoon?

All for $24.95!!!!!?!?!?!?!?

In case you need’s the official summary of this fine piece of electronic art:

"A RETURN TO TRADITION" A DVD compilation of the historical events marking the move back to Nebraska Football Tradition in 2008. See the full footage of the 1997 Championship reunion banquet featuring Charlie McBride, Jason Peter and Coach Osborne. It was the middle of the ’07 season when the banquet took place, and things were looking tough for the ’07 Huskers. Hear the amazing insights and heart warming reflections offered by the former coaches and players, including some hilarious comments from the always entertaining Jason Peter. See the imploring request from coach Osborne for the ’97 players to show their support and encouragement to the embattled 2007 Huskers. Also see the entire Bo Pelini introduction press conference and hear Bo set forth in his own words his vision for bringing tradition back to NU. And finally see highlights from the 2008 Spring Game, complete with the post game comments from coach Pelini and select players. 2007 was a tough year, but the future looks bright! DVD video, Husker Vision footage, 140 minutes. "

Please pick yourself up off the floor, clean up your spilled bladder, and join me in 5 minutes for some comments.


I’m not even sure how to approach this one. I mean, I understand you guys are down. Seriously I do…my team helped put you there. But did I think you people would be desperate enough for positivity that you would drag a camera down to the Holiday Inn Central, and film your coach (who hasn’t coached a game for you since a substitute teacher role in 2003) yapping in a suit and tie. Actually strike that, this is exactly what you people would do. (Also ironic that such a fine and upstanding citizen as Jason Peter would be featured in the DVD. Who's coming next year to bring the laughs? O.J. Simpson?)

I just figured the rest of you needed to see just what I’m up against every minute, of every day.

* The great KC Star columnist Joe Posnanski last week had a discussion on his blog revolving around the ever growing presence of sports blogs and their impact to sports journalism. Obviously, if you’re reading this you know what the Internet can do for just about any crackpot and freak that owns a sick idea and a keyboard. But the discussion was interesting coming from a guy who does this for a living. (And is very good at it)

With that being said, I figured I would reiterate my position just what this blog (and others) provides you…the casual sports fan.

I provide you absolutely nothing.

I don’t know players. I don’t go to every single game. I don’t download special “insider” newsletters. I barely even keep track of my own team, let alone every other team out there. I don’t have a subscription to SI. I don’t watch Sportscenter religiously. I didn’t play college football, nor do I have any sort of insight into the sport other than what the average Joe has.

But, one thing that blogs do help with, is give you a side of opinion that you don’t always get from mainstream news. Take my own situation for example. I speak the truth from behind the Red curtain, because not only is there no other regional or national media anywhere to be found here; but the media members that are here, are directly responsible for the very idealistic horseshit that spews from the mouths of 99% of all Husker fans in general. IN other words, they are you…you are them, and there is no way in hell those guys are going to tell you the truth.

So with that being said, take this (and other blogs) for what they are: Simply a extension of opinion from a perspective that is unique. (Or in the case of some blogs out there…the same old crap about the same old teams…fake pictures…expanded breakdowns…whatever.)

Whether you hate my guys or praise my name with every ounce of truth I give you…let the record show that sports blogs like this one are here to stay, and aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

* Not that I really care, nor am I college baseball’s biggest fan; but where are all you Husker freaks who were running shit all week about your baseball team? Again, not that it really affects me either way…but funny how your outlandish smack has once again run aground.

Pity how that seems to happen all the time these days.


Anonymous McCook Mick said...

As a Husker fan, I would like to punch whomever is responsible for marketing this shit. It simply gives people like you more ammo.


11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That cover is so good, it looks photoshopped. Yes, this is a lob job.

12:52 PM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

Just stop your pitch right there.

You had me at "Chicken Florentine and Au gratin potatoes."

How many people do you think cook that for dinner and sit down to watch that video so they can pretend they are there?

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It wouldn't be marketed if people weren't buying it.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only thing more pathetic about the people who produced this 'masterpiece' is the people who will buy it. Are people in Nebraska that hard up for entertainment?

Mizzou 606

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

needs to be reposted here....this guy naled it

HUGE congrats to Pelini on yet ANOTHER PATHETIC recruit commit today...Jesus Christ he is recruiting with Doane and Midland practically. Look at the interest and offers these players are getting from top schools, there is NONE!!!

I guess that is what you get when you hire someone no one wanted, has admited he doesn't like recruiting at all, has little common sense and personality of a dead catfish.

Congrats Osborne, you fucked the program over for the THIRD (Solich, Pederson, Bofense) time...but yet people still slober over your fradulent ass

10:14 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

Okay, these are the kinds of things where I completely agree with AJ and all of the Husker haters out there. It's the need for some sense of inclusion into the program. I think the combination of past success (color it however you like, big fish in a little pond, mercenary thugs, or just ahead of the competition for a longer period of time) and being the only show in town (well, state) has cultivated alot of this. I'm not going to apologize for it, I grew up in it and it doesn't matter to me one way or the other if you want to buy this shit or make fun of those who do.

What I will say is, as short sided as the people who are resting all of their hopes on Bo getting NU back to a respected program, those that are claiming that he can't do it are to their equal. At one point in every coach's career, successful or not, they had to go through a time where they had never been a head coach. Only time will tell...


PS. Tradition and reputation can win you some games.... when you are as good as the other team. Our goal (those of us who are Husker fans) should be to hope that we can get back to that level and then let the intagibles take care of themselves

4:05 PM  
Blogger TheGrove68 said...

Gosh I only wish I had the foresight to market this first and make some money off the Mindless Big Red Horde.

Of course in some respects as weird as it is,it is also sort of impressive that the NU fans are so indoctrinated into the NU way they make PLO Suicide bombers look unfaithful.

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus people, get some hobbies! If you are going out and buying this, you need them badly. Is there really that little to do in Nebraska?

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you don't like NEBRASKA then leave! Who is your team? Tell me! Don't be scared. You are obviously madd because the skers whipped you and your team for so many years. By the way we cherish the past not live in it thats how tradition is built, which obviously you or your team don't have. But hay theres always Lacross or Polo!

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To add to my previous comment!!!! Yeah your right about those NEB HS games, A. Green and Ken Clark both from Omaha sure were white and slow! Or is that your cataracts acting up? Your profile says your 251 yrs old ha! ha! ha! thats real mature. About as mature as those 1 year programs like mu and ku, but hey who am I to tell you! You know all about traditions and championships like the ignorance you express about NU walk-ons who by the way kicked your ass all those years huh! Yeah, your a bright one. Hey buddy why don't you win a few more games and more than the North(1 time ha ha) before you blast us. I mean dammn dude! even callahan won the north so don't get too excited you little runt. Oh! and play somebody in non conference pleeeaaassssee!

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you suck!

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To respond to something said on one of your earlier posts. The reason you fucks don't have to pay to get in to your spring games is because your loyalty sucks and the powers that be knew if they charged your cheap asses (now you sell games out because you won the fucking Dallas Ghetto bowl) you wouldn't show up you cheap fucks! Hey aj who is Matt Davidson? When is the last time you won in Lincoln? You probably don't even step outside when mu comes to town you scared fuck! All mu and ku fans can piss off till you win a conference title. mu-ku is such a rivalry because thats you losers could do is beat up on each other, cause you sure as hell couldn't beat anyone else.

5:00 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Who is Matt Davison?

I don't know, but he's 33 years old and last time I longer eligbile to play college football.

Good rant though.

Nice and whiney.

8:24 AM  
Blogger jeffro144 said...







I think that about covers it. And people wonder where AJ gets his material. He could get a years worth of stuff just from the Husker idiots that post on the comment board. And now to take a line from the great movie "Happy Gilmore", to you my little anon husker fan ...

9:11 AM  
Anonymous TigerinNC said...

4 rants and not a single original slam. Not impressive at all.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous ohf said...

i forgot how sleepy you always made me. some things never change...

2:45 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

OHF, good to have you back.

Oh, and go to hell you pansy ass.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Blankman17 said...


In our defense, it is Husker Hounds. Trust me, if you want a litany of jackassery being slung out at cost, that's your place to go.

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Jason Peter said...

Hi, I hope to see everyone at my book signing this Saturday August 9th @ 2:00PM at Barnes & Noble 2910 Pine Lake Road in Lincoln more info Hero of the Underground has been moving up on the New York Times best-seller list! Spread the word!

2:23 PM  

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