July 2, 2008

Don't Call It a Comeback

Ahhhh…time away. Good Lord did I need that.

Time to recharge the batteries. Time to get some rest. Time to re-focus the energy on the tasks at hand. I'm not gonna lie to you, I’ve had some pretty good ideas over the years, but getting the hell away from you hayseeds before you put me into a corn-laced coma was about the best thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t need it because you were uninteresting and uninspiring. (Even though you were). It wasn’t because you flat-out bored me with your shitty returning players, your unproven idiot of a coach or your so-far-in-the-rear view-mirror-you-need-binoculars-to-see it legacy .

No, I needed it because lets face it….even the most hard core ignorant Husker yokel knows you’re going to suck next year. That's right, let's cut through the B.S. right here and now. Oh sure, you can say to yourself, “you know…..if we improve our tackling, we’re really going to be improved.” Or, “You know…if Shawn Watson tailors his offense to Joe Ganz’s skills, we could sneak by some people”.

No.
That is completely asinine and you and I both know it. (Then again, it was you brilliant masters of all things College Football who said you would beat USC with a 2nd string QB with 4 career wins and a group of 9th grade girls on defense...but I digress.) Look, I know you’re going to suck this year. YOU know you’re’ going to suck this year, so stop acting like this is the beginning of some sort of great odyssey. I mean seriously, it's BO PELINI. This is not Vince Lombardi, Chuck Knoll or Bob Stoops (Despite the fact that 95% of you compare the two).
Do you know how I know you're going to suck ass in 2008? Because if ANY SINGLE ONE of you had one OUNCE of optimism, you’d be blasting your way onto my comments page at the rate of a billion an hour. If You thought you were going to be worth a damn this year, you’d be talking up your team on the call-in shows, burning up the lines with schedule breakdowns, roster updates and the latest in recruiting news. Not ONE Husker fan has given me ONE good reason why I should expect anything more than a trip to Ft. Worth AT BEST. And no, I'm not talking this year..I'm talking 2009 minimum. And no, spare me with your stupid ass, "Our schedule breaks down real nice." Uhhh..no. If you're playing against D1 (or even FCS teams for that matter), you're in deep shit.

Here's another way I know we're thinking the same thing: It’s 58 days left til the season starts; football starts NEXT MONTH (that is not a typo) and swimming…yes….AMATEUR SWIMMING has taken over the airwaves, and pushed the Husker football juggernaut off the front pages like a 3 day Britney bender.

So if we both agree you’re going to suck balls next season…why am I still here? Why are you still here? Why is anybody even making the attempt to talk about you?

Because you still haven’t paid the price, that’s why. One full off-season of verbal abuse and national humiliation doesn’t begin to pay back your debt to college football society that you owe. The pain you have suffered over the past 300 days or so doesn’t even BEGIN to settle the score with those of us who put up with years..no DECADES of you douchebags acting like world class asshats. EVEN with a “fresh start” and “new hope”, your fans are still the same collection of inbred hillbillies who annoyed me to the point of madness for nearly 25 years.

So with that….you may stop caring…the world may stop caring..but I shall carry on. I carry on, because God himself could not set a limit high enough to endure your suffering. Watching your team go 5-7 will never get old. Not this year…not next year. Not ever. Even if you entered a world of football purgatory rivaling Temple University…I will would still argue that you would not have paid a high enough price.

So with the hiatus over and Summer hits it's midway point…with the realization that you’re only 8 short weeks from re-living your own personal nightmare once again…we continue as we always have.

Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you caring. Thank you for turning the crash and burn of a powerhouse into a giggle-inducing entertainment juggernaut that is this blog.

I am back.

I am full of hate.

I am ready to continue my wrath of hatred.

**
Speaking of funny, did you catch Tom Shatel’s heartwarming Hallmark-AfterSchool Special-esque story on Jason Peter over the weekend? Now, I give Traitor Tom crap year after year, but to actually listen to him act SHOCKED at Jason Peter being a drugged out thug back in his prime…is about the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.

Look, I’m not about to bash somebody for fighting their own personal daemons. God knows when football is over, and you’re doing blow off of a hookers bare ass or whatever the hell he did…you’ve got more issues than I can comment on. But Tom’s genuine surprise at just what a complete and total degenerate Jason Peter was, simply magnifies one of my biggest beefs with you people…and that is: your player warship is blind, and your inability to see the forest for the trees knows no bounds.

I mean, wasn’t the mid 1990’s…the quintessential Golden Era of Husker football…a collection of Norman Rockwell-esque paintings, with sons and fathers filling Memorial Stadiums, watching hard-nosed student athletes battle their guts out for the pride of their state and the glory of their youth? Wasn’t it idiots like you who told me just what a great family man Tom Osborne was? Wasn’t it people like you who told me how the national media blew that whole, “Thug” thing out of proportion?

And Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, Jason Peter wasn’t even the biggest thug in his own FAMILY, let alone his own team.

I’m sure you won’t learn a lesson by it, and you probably thought to yourself, “What a strong and outstanding young man” when you read that story. But make no mistake about it….Tom’s mancrush induced love-letter to Jason Peter simply reinstates what I’ve told you for years….and that is that you weren’t jack shit until you started recruiting guys like Jason Peter. And yes…there is a direct correlation between bad guys and winning…just ask the hypocritical bastard that coached him.

**
Speaking of things I told you would happen…did I not just spend the better part of a decade telling you that the College World Series sucked? Now I don’t mean the tourney itself, or the fact that Omaha is on the national stage. It’s a great event for the city, and the tourist flood town by the thousands, only to rave about what a great town this is.

But JUST as I told you..the NCAA, Dennis Pope, Jack Deising and the rest of the greedy a-holes who run that thing have simply ruined that thing in the name of money and the lust of power. 16 days of PING! PING! PING! PING! PING!

16 days!?!? Are you kidding me? Why not just ask fans from out of town to drop the registration to their car the deed to their house in a big fishbowl on the way into the stadium? How much does it cost to stay at the Hampton Inn for 2 and a ½ weeks? And the worst part? They don’t give a rats ass. (Just as I told you.) They don’t care about the tradition. They don’t care about the event. They don’t care about Omaha and they SURE as hell don’t care about you.

They care about themselves and their money. Perhaps maybe now you’re starting to understand just what the hell I’m talking about.

**
All aboard the Hate Express…it’s almost Season Preview time.

God it's good to be back.

15 Comments:

Blogger Big Head said...

Welcome back.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great to have you back. Let the good times (bashing the Fusker nation) roll.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for checking in. I feel complete. Feel free to take another month or 10 off.

11:56 AM  
Blogger merlin said...

Welcome back AJ. Hope you had a great vacation and no one burns down your house this weekend with an errant bottle rocket purchased in Missouri. I hear they won't sell the good stuff to corndogs.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous ultimatedude3312 said...

Yes!!! The Hate is amazing once again. I had some Husker fan tell me that over on Huskersillustrated.com that they are so pumped that their is no way they finish worst than 8-4. WTF???

I mean when one of your linebackers was a running back last year, you have problems.

3:52 PM  
Blogger jeffro144 said...

great to have you back AJ. Im sure you have read some of the BS over at tigerboard. If I didnt know better I would have thought Husker fan is now rooting for Illinois. "Been is better than Maclin" lol.
BTW, saw my first Ganz for Heisman post today. Those silly nubs...

4:10 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I'm shocked it took this long.

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great to have you back, A.J. I bet you enjoyed all those storms that hit Omaha in recent weeks. Hope you and your family are okay from them. My parents who reside there almost had a tree go through their house. Makes me appreciate San Diego more and more. Go Trojans! (and the Tigers!)

8:10 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I was actually hanging out with some relatives on 156th and Fort or so when the storm hit. Nice to see Hurricane season has moved 1,500 miles north.

Yes, that sucked and yes, we were lucky we didn't get too much damage at our house...just some limbs and some power out overnight.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"OMGz you guys, Nebraska weather is scary!!!"

Let's be thugz to Nebraksa fans and tells them they is suck, then we will be teh badassiest on teh internets!!!

http://tinyurl.com/6fznlf

10:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to see you back, AJ--

I'm glad to hear that you didn't get any major damage at your place.

About two weeks ago, I saw on the Journal-Star web message boards the Nebraska fans assuring each other that, at worst, the Huskers go 2-1 against Virginia Tech, Kansas, and Missouri. I think they should have a parade if they avoid losing those three games by more than 150 points. Missouri might hang 90 on them. Kansas will likely not be as explosive this year as last, but should get into the 40s. Virginia Tech should hold Nebraska into the teens, so I can't see the Huskers winning that game either.

Anyway, good to have you back. Enjoy the rest of your summer. Happy fourth of July.

Bob

10:06 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Thanks Bob.

Hope you had a good 4th.

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ:

Please tell me you have seen the ads in the Journal Star for the Bo Pelini book. Yes, that's right, they have already wrote a whole book for a guy that has coached ONE GAME!!! The sad part is that I work there and we have already got a bunch of orders for it. Pathetic. Glad you're back!

Travis

5:20 AM  
Anonymous husker shrink said...

A.J.,
I'm surprised you didn't have some sigificant damage to your home as double-wides rarely hold up to those kids of windbursts.

And are you kidding, I feel I'm about as realistic about the Huskers as a true fan can be and would be shocked if the Huskers lost to Virginia Tech. V.T.'s backfield has been thrashed by injuries and they lost a lot of good players from last year. Kansas and Missouri, those are games I expect to lose but hope to win. I realize how difficult that will be.

Hey A.J., this is my first post. I have to tell you that I actually get a good laugh from your posts which I'm not sure is your hope, coming from a lifelong Husker fan. I'm sure you'll be hearing more from me.

Husker Shrink

2:52 PM  
Blogger daddyact said...

Actually, you're really not worth the time or effort to get all heated up about what you write. And your decision not to go to journalism school was probably the correct one.

The Huskers may stink, as you seem to think, or not, as some of us seem to think.

Probably the truth is somewhere in-between, but wtf, enjoy the run for the Big 12 Title. I hope your Tigers win it, although I doubt they will. And I sincerely hope ya'll actually get to a BCS game this year, but Texas will probably beat you to it.

It would be nice to see a North squad win the ccg for a change.

As to whether or not the Huskers have or lack talent, we'll know more along about the time we play the Tigers.

btw, you do know the difference between having talent with potential and not having enough talent to get the job done, don't you? You should. Pinkel didn't have the talent to get the job done for five years. I think that's why it took him so long to contend.

I'm hoping, as I said, that the Tigers win it this year, because it does look like they're going to lose the heart of both the offense and defense after this year. That might mean another year or two before mizzou can make another run at the title.

That would mean back to the drawing board for Pinkie, and ya'll better hope Gabbert can step up by next year. I mean, it only took Chase three years to make an impact. It shouldn't take GG that long, now that the Tigers are the new power in the North, with all that talent Pinkie's been stockpiling over the last two years.

Funny, but I just naturally assume that GP is taking in more talent than NU has, until I actually compare the two lists and discover there's not much to choose between them. Even after Pinkie took three guys away from us in the debacle of '07.

I reckon that the superior coaching ability of GP and staff will make the difference, though. Although, based on perception alone, it does look like the division is going to be decided the first game of the conference season for quite a while.

You'd just HATE that, wouldn't you?

Oh, and I wouldn't count on CU making much noise any time soon. Let's see, Hawkins got a OL in 2007 and a RB in 2008, and not much else, unless his LBs are planning to play on offense too.

3:09 AM  

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