After falling in last Saturday’s epic pillow fight in Lincoln, it’s fascinating to watch the uneasy queeziness of Husker fan as they prepare for the unthinkable clash with Mizzou as a double-digit home underdog. The way I see it right now, the average Hick fan falls into two camps: Uneasy and nauseated or unbridled myopia mixed with hallucinogenic confidence.
Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not about to sit here and lie to you and spit out that 99% of Husker fans are predicting a Husker victory. (Although if you listen to some of the call-in shows around town…you’d probably be surprised that 10-15% still hold this opinion.) For the most part, most Husker fans…against their own true feelings and 30 years of unbridled propaganda smashing against their ears…understand what’s about to happen to them.
I liken their mood to that quiet… droopy-headed slow shuffle back into the kitchen after your dad has ordered you to cut a switch from the willow tree in the back yard. You know what’s coming to you…you know it's going to hurt and you know you probably deserve it..you just don’t know how bad it’s going to be.
Again, lets be real here..hearing the faint chants of “Miz…Zou” echo through a ½ empty Memorial Stadium is going be glorious for those of us who have witnessed three decades of humiliation and torment. Since we’ve spoken about that great length this week (and past weeks), I think it’s more relevant to try and understand the pre-emptive moping and frustration that is flowing through 85% of the “greatest fans in college football.”
Don’t know what I’m talking about? You know the philosophy that is shared by a great deal of you all this week: “I know we’ll probably lose, but as long as Bo is showing so much passion, I know we’re on the right track.”
Let’s talk about that “passion” for a second. At what point does all that passion equate to embarrassment and rolling eyes from the outside world? At what point does all that fire in your belly stop being productive, and start warning people that this program is being run by an un-prepared control freak who is either batshit crazy...or really really lame for thinking that 18-22 year old kids really care about that stuff? (I'm guessing they care about losing 15 yards in a crucial situation because their coach is acting like an idiot on a play that he admitted he didn't even see)
I will admit, part of this can be attributed to the fact that you are led by an immature head coach who has as much business taking control of a “name” program as your high school FFA mentor. That part is very very clear; he should (underline that..should) figure out at some point that acting like a complete idiot does more harm than good ….especially when he figures out that he is not only the face of his university, but the face of this state as a whole? I guess we shall see if he figures it out.
A couple of tidbits before this week’s power poll:
* Was it just me, or did Erin Andrews standing next to Bo Pelini before the Va Tech game remind you of that douchebagswithhotchicks.com website?
* At what point will you people believe me about Marlon Lucky? I understand you’ll fight for your players to the death…but when are you going to simply admit I was right when I said dude is not durable enough to be a full-time running back?
* Did Nate Swift waddling down the sidelines on that punt return for a touchdown remind anybody else of Marv Siler in 1992?
* Remember when you all laughed at me when I said you might only win 4 games this season? Think it will seem so far fetched in about 6 days? Still laughing at me over there chuckles?
* Finally, nice to see Husker players making the same mistakes they made against USC….giving the upcoming week’s bulletin board material for the opponent. So Marlon Lucky sayd the Huskers will be mad and Mizzou better watch out? Dude….you lost to a bunch of 18-19 year olds that wouldn’t finish 6th in the Big 12. Do you honestly think that was smart? Or how bout that Gene Simmons wannabe Matt Slauson who threw out the, “Yeah, they have a couple of great players on offense but we're good too” line. Uhhhh…they average nearly 600 yards of offense a game and you struggled with San Jose State. They’ve scored 31+ points in 19 of 20 games. Seriously, what the hell are you thinking? I haven’t heard anything more ridiculous since Andre Jones tried to convince me that he was going to shut down Dwayne Jarrett in Los Angeles a few years ago.
1) Missouri (4-0) at Nebraska : Hate Week 2008 climaxes under the lights with Nebraska taking the field as the largest home underdog of the modern era. Apparently those Vegas oddsmakers didn’t hear about those Big Husker wins during the 80’s or that there are going to be lots of Husker former players on the sidelines. Look for the line to move down once news starts to hit.
2) Colorado (3-1) vs. Texas : Texas seems to be hitting their stride prior to the annual showdown in Dallas. Ironically, you can thank Oklahoma for sending the Horns a message: Don’t take CU lightly in Boulder.
3) Kansas (3-1) at Iowa State : KU has made a living of recent years beating up on teams with even less talent than they have. Hard for ISU to get up for this one, when in recent years…KU vs. ISU meant more empty seats than a Thompson Twins reunion concert.
4) Kansas State (3-1) vs. Texas Tech: KSU has been left for dead in recent weeks, playing down to the competition in front of them. Tech is light-years ahead of Ron Prince’s team in terms of talent…and the Cat’s defense has been struggling. The Raiders sometimes lay gigantic eggs coming North in recent years…something smells fishy about this whole thing.
5) Nebraska (3-1) vs. Missouri : Missouri’s offense may be a slight bit better than the talented, but archaic offense the Huskers just played. Jeremy Maclin is going to look like Usain Bolt compared to Va Tech’s collection of rookie receivers…most of which who were in high school or on the scout team last season.
6) Iowa State (2-2) vs. Kansas : If you’re KU, aside from a new flavor of Zima being introduced, you’ve got to hope for a big lead late so they can figure out who…if anybody…can actually run the ball. (Not counting Reesing running for his life being chased by defensive linemen.)
1) Oklahoma (4-0) at Baylor : Baylor has a new outlook…a dynamic quarterback and a whole new…..Ahhhhhh…forget about it. Baylor is going to get colon blasted.
2) Texas (4-0) at Colorado : I’m still not sure why everybody left the Horns for dead in the pre-season. Predicting Texas will have a “bad” season is like predicting that staring into the sun will have no ill-effect on your eyesight. I can't explain really why...it just doesn’t work that way and you'll have to take my word for it.
3) Oklahoma State (4-0) vs. Texas A&M : Huge huge huge game in Columbia next week between two hellacious offenses. Getting kicked in the sack by Texas and OU is one thing...getting throttled by Okie State is quite another. Good times in College Station these days.
4) Texas Tech (4-0) at Kansas State : On paper, this really shouldn’t be much of a battle..esepcially with KSU’s defense playing like crap. But Tech is due to take a day off. Wouldn’t shock me at least.
5) Baylor (2-2) vs. Oklahoma : Remember in 2002 when a freshman Brad Smith took #3 Oklahoma to the brink by running crazy over an OU squad that had already moved on to thinking about the next week? Not going to happen…a scare would not be without precident. Besides, it’s not like Bob Stoop’s team takes a week or two off per year anyway. But again..who am I kidding. Baylor would have a better shot against the St. Louis Rams at this point.
6) Texas A&M (2-2) at Oklahoma State : I really like A&M, their pageantry and their fans. But Mitch Sherman makes me laugh.