September 30, 2008

Passion Fruit

Hate week rolls on.

After falling in last Saturday’s epic pillow fight in Lincoln, it’s fascinating to watch the uneasy queeziness of Husker fan as they prepare for the unthinkable clash with Mizzou as a double-digit home underdog. The way I see it right now, the average Hick fan falls into two camps: Uneasy and nauseated or unbridled myopia mixed with hallucinogenic confidence.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not about to sit here and lie to you and spit out that 99% of Husker fans are predicting a Husker victory. (Although if you listen to some of the call-in shows around town…you’d probably be surprised that 10-15% still hold this opinion.) For the most part, most Husker fans…against their own true feelings and 30 years of unbridled propaganda smashing against their ears…understand what’s about to happen to them.

I liken their mood to that quiet… droopy-headed slow shuffle back into the kitchen after your dad has ordered you to cut a switch from the willow tree in the back yard. You know what’s coming to you…you know it's going to hurt and you know you probably deserve it..you just don’t know how bad it’s going to be.

Again, lets be real here..hearing the faint chants of “Miz…Zou” echo through a ½ empty Memorial Stadium is going be glorious for those of us who have witnessed three decades of humiliation and torment. Since we’ve spoken about that great length this week (and past weeks), I think it’s more relevant to try and understand the pre-emptive moping and frustration that is flowing through 85% of the “greatest fans in college football.”

Don’t know what I’m talking about? You know the philosophy that is shared by a great deal of you all this week: “I know we’ll probably lose, but as long as Bo is showing so much passion, I know we’re on the right track.”

Passion?

Let’s talk about that “passion” for a second. At what point does all that passion equate to embarrassment and rolling eyes from the outside world? At what point does all that fire in your belly stop being productive, and start warning people that this program is being run by an un-prepared control freak who is either batshit crazy...or really really lame for thinking that 18-22 year old kids really care about that stuff? (I'm guessing they care about losing 15 yards in a crucial situation because their coach is acting like an idiot on a play that he admitted he didn't even see)

I will admit, part of this can be attributed to the fact that you are led by an immature head coach who has as much business taking control of a “name” program as your high school FFA mentor. That part is very very clear; he should (underline that..should) figure out at some point that acting like a complete idiot does more harm than good ….especially when he figures out that he is not only the face of his university, but the face of this state as a whole? I guess we shall see if he figures it out.

A couple of tidbits before this week’s power poll:

* Was it just me, or did Erin Andrews standing next to Bo Pelini before the Va Tech game remind you of that douchebagswithhotchicks.com website?

* At what point will you people believe me about Marlon Lucky? I understand you’ll fight for your players to the death…but when are you going to simply admit I was right when I said dude is not durable enough to be a full-time running back?

* Did Nate Swift waddling down the sidelines on that punt return for a touchdown remind anybody else of Marv Siler in 1992?

* Remember when you all laughed at me when I said you might only win 4 games this season? Think it will seem so far fetched in about 6 days? Still laughing at me over there chuckles?

* Finally, nice to see Husker players making the same mistakes they made against USC….giving the upcoming week’s bulletin board material for the opponent. So Marlon Lucky sayd the Huskers will be mad and Mizzou better watch out? Dude….you lost to a bunch of 18-19 year olds that wouldn’t finish 6th in the Big 12. Do you honestly think that was smart? Or how bout that Gene Simmons wannabe Matt Slauson who threw out the, “Yeah, they have a couple of great players on offense but we're good too” line. Uhhhh…they average nearly 600 yards of offense a game and you struggled with San Jose State. They’ve scored 31+ points in 19 of 20 games. Seriously, what the hell are you thinking? I haven’t heard anything more ridiculous since Andre Jones tried to convince me that he was going to shut down Dwayne Jarrett in Los Angeles a few years ago.


POWER POLL:

NORTH:
1) Missouri (4-0) at Nebraska : Hate Week 2008 climaxes under the lights with Nebraska taking the field as the largest home underdog of the modern era. Apparently those Vegas oddsmakers didn’t hear about those Big Husker wins during the 80’s or that there are going to be lots of Husker former players on the sidelines. Look for the line to move down once news starts to hit.

2) Colorado (3-1) vs. Texas : Texas seems to be hitting their stride prior to the annual showdown in Dallas. Ironically, you can thank Oklahoma for sending the Horns a message: Don’t take CU lightly in Boulder.

3) Kansas (3-1) at Iowa State : KU has made a living of recent years beating up on teams with even less talent than they have. Hard for ISU to get up for this one, when in recent years…KU vs. ISU meant more empty seats than a Thompson Twins reunion concert.

4) Kansas State (3-1) vs. Texas Tech: KSU has been left for dead in recent weeks, playing down to the competition in front of them. Tech is light-years ahead of Ron Prince’s team in terms of talent…and the Cat’s defense has been struggling. The Raiders sometimes lay gigantic eggs coming North in recent years…something smells fishy about this whole thing.

5) Nebraska (3-1) vs. Missouri : Missouri’s offense may be a slight bit better than the talented, but archaic offense the Huskers just played. Jeremy Maclin is going to look like Usain Bolt compared to Va Tech’s collection of rookie receivers…most of which who were in high school or on the scout team last season.

6) Iowa State (2-2) vs. Kansas : If you’re KU, aside from a new flavor of Zima being introduced, you’ve got to hope for a big lead late so they can figure out who…if anybody…can actually run the ball. (Not counting Reesing running for his life being chased by defensive linemen.)


SOUTH:
1) Oklahoma (4-0) at Baylor : Baylor has a new outlook…a dynamic quarterback and a whole new…..Ahhhhhh…forget about it. Baylor is going to get colon blasted.

2) Texas (4-0) at Colorado : I’m still not sure why everybody left the Horns for dead in the pre-season. Predicting Texas will have a “bad” season is like predicting that staring into the sun will have no ill-effect on your eyesight. I can't explain really why...it just doesn’t work that way and you'll have to take my word for it.

3) Oklahoma State (4-0) vs. Texas A&M : Huge huge huge game in Columbia next week between two hellacious offenses. Getting kicked in the sack by Texas and OU is one thing...getting throttled by Okie State is quite another. Good times in College Station these days.

4) Texas Tech (4-0) at Kansas State : On paper, this really shouldn’t be much of a battle..esepcially with KSU’s defense playing like crap. But Tech is due to take a day off. Wouldn’t shock me at least.

5) Baylor (2-2) vs. Oklahoma : Remember in 2002 when a freshman Brad Smith took #3 Oklahoma to the brink by running crazy over an OU squad that had already moved on to thinking about the next week? Not going to happen…a scare would not be without precident. Besides, it’s not like Bob Stoop’s team takes a week or two off per year anyway. But again..who am I kidding. Baylor would have a better shot against the St. Louis Rams at this point.

6) Texas A&M (2-2) at Oklahoma State : I really like A&M, their pageantry and their fans. But Mitch Sherman makes me laugh.

34 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just make sure you d-bags cover so I can collect my $500 next week. See...I still win!

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Todd Smith said...

AJ...have you ever trimmed a bush??

6:01 PM  
Anonymous Rabbi Robins said...

Aj...I swear you drink sperm every night dude!! you are a hater and jealous!!


GOOOOOOOOO
BIIIIIIIIIIIIG
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

6:02 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

3 of the strongest comments I've ever had the privlidge of approving.

STRONG effort boys!

Real strong.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ESPN's nightly poll just showed that the slight majority felt that Mizzou had the best chance of losing this weekend. Wonder where all those votes came from? I hope the Tigers show no mercy.

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Runralphierun said...

Don't fall into the trap AJ. Every year, saturday after saturday, teams that seem unstoppable go into hostile environments like this with confidence blazing and come out shooting blanks. Hell, just look at what USC walked into last week. They were consensus number one, near-perfection on both sides of the ball, and merely two weeks removed from destroying Ohio State in beautiful fashion. Oregon St. came out swinging, and to be honest with you...I'm kind of expecting the same out of the Huskers. Bo Pelini has a lot to prove to sweep the memory of the Bill Callahan years away. I'm not saying the Huskers will win (or even put up a fight) but I could see this being a major trap game for the Tigers.

Memorial stadium is a hostile environment for those who are used to losing there. Mizzou hasn't won there in decades, and that is a difficult thing to overcome whether or not you're ranked in the top 10. Look at my Denver Donkeys last week. Highest scoring team in the NFL, Jay Cutler looked great in all three previous games, and they walked into Arrowhead, where we lose almost like clockwork, and choked (congrats on the win by the way). Good luck, but be careful.

As for the Buffs, I appreciate the optimism giving us the 2nd spot once again, but honestly, I think we're in a lot of trouble. In the past week alone we've lost two starting lineman for the season. Not to mention, our bullshit defensive effort against a fast Florida State defense last week. I'm gonna go ahead and be humble and chalk an L next to Texas. The magic isn't here like it was when Bob St(oops!)' Chokelahoma Sooners rolled into town last year. So I guess we're just gonna have to grit our teeth, move on and ride high on Colorado's favorite slogan...FUCK TEXAS!

Lovin the column as usual...

Viva hate week!

7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some not-so-strong efforts:

Nebraska 39 kU 76
Nebraska 14 Oklahoma State 45
Nebraska 6 Missouri 41
Nebraska 15 kU 40

That's just recent vintage. Shall I continue you knob-sucking lard asses?

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, looks like the huskers brought their intellect to this venue! With regard to ISU-ku, do not be surprised if the clones blow the putrid birds off course in Ames.

11:47 PM  
Anonymous MNHusker said...

Mizzou = slavers

Daniels = boogers

Nebraska = *sigh* It's going to be ugly, and a homecoming slaughter to boot. - I can only hope it's televised. Living in Nebraska might be bad for you but try spending time under the umbrella of Big Ten television coverage.

GBR!

9:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"some not-so-strong efforts"

who is living in the past now?

should I rattle off thirty years of 'vintage' ass whoopings?

No, because then i would be that guy you say only lives in the past.

kiss my ass hypocrite

11:37 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Rattle off 30 years of what?

If you're going to play the part of internet tough guy...how bout explaining what the fuck you're talking about first before you slam your keyboard down, raise your arms and declare victory.

I ran down the recent history to prove why Mizzou fans want to win there so badly. You people think a game played in 1997 means jack shit to players who were in pre-school.

Apples and oranges douchebag.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no need to get your panties in a wad aj.

declare victory? I'm sure we'll get our ass beat this weekend so there is no victory to be had.

i'm talking to the anonymous poster a few posts up, not to your recap of why mizzou hates the big red. The MU crack backs about NE fans only living in the past are about as redundant as Gayhawk fan saying they are and will continue to be worth a shit.

I'm pretty sure the game played in 97 means just as much to chase daniel as the 40-15 ass beating KU gave us a few years ago.

Fuck Mizzou - i think its time you admit that you were wrong about k-state - they blow

internet tough guy

12:16 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I'm wrong about a lot of stuff and a lot of teams...just not stuff regarding Nebraska football.

Big difference

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a topic about you on the ESPN Nebraska board. I also lived in Omaha for 4 years and was at the Columbia game last year. My first clue the Nebraksa program was "different" was them firing Solich the year I moved there. Now it is great to be a #4 Mizzou fan living in Florida.

Keep up the great posts.

12:58 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Yeah, I saw that post on the ESPN board. (I get a list of all incoming links to the blog.)

Here's the thing: Would it really suck if Mizzou lost? As a Mizzou fan, of course it would. I hate losing to Nebraska in anything. But a couple of things. First, this isn't a "dream season" for MU. They still have to beat Texas and OU before doing anything..and that isn't all that easy. Second, it's not like my team has never lost before?

Again, I've seen things that have been absolutely crushing. Even if Mizzou was 13-0 and somehow lost to BYU in the title game, I still dont' think it would be 1/2 as painful as the kick or the 5th down. Both of those games...you knew that was your one shot at glory..before going 5-6 or 4-7 or whatever.

If Mizzou loses...they still could surpass previous seasons or hell...still win the North. (Easily, since Nebraska has to go at OU and Tech.)

Would it suck? Yes. Would I jump off a bridge? No. Why? Because the complete and total hysteria following this whole week of "woe is us we suck" would be typical Husker fan...and I must admit I do love a Husker pity party turned chest pounding bash.

By the way...if the dude who wrote that post is reading this? You're a douche and if you had any sack, you'd take your beefs here so I can respond by name, instead of running off to a national board to proclaim how great it would be.

Your troubles are way bigger than one game son.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ--I was really surprised that Bo Pelini lost his cool badly enough to draw that flag late in the game. Nebraska still had a shot to win the game. Yes, it was a close call and it's fine to point that out to the officials, but losing it so badly that they tack on another foul just slammed the door on a potential Nebraska rally.

The thing that really shocked me, though, was a quote from him that ran in the Denver paper this morning. He said he's just a passionate guy and that if he ever gets to where he's OK with losing, he needs to get a different job. Are you kidding me? Those are the only two choices--be OK with losing or come completely unhinged? What if one of the players had mouthed off to the ref and earned a THIRD foul on that play. Would Bo have been proud of that kid for not being OK with losing?

News flash, Bo: Referees are human and make judgment calls. Some of those will go against you. It's fine to express your displeasure--most officials even expect that. You have to completely lose your cool to have the ref flag you for it. The young men on the team have to have a steady hand at the wheel so they have somebody to look to when things are going badly. If they see a petulant child at the helm, they'll fall apart.

I couldn't believe that more than two days removed from the event, he still couldn't see how that was not acceptable. How is he supposed to teach discipline and develop talent when he comes across as completely anal-explosive like that?

You know I'm a Jayhawk, AJ, and always will be. That's what makes what I'm about to write so huge: I would rather my son play for Gary Pinkel than Bo Pelini any day.

Have a good day.

Bob

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Riiiight. Because I haven't seen any CU or MU fans on this blog use gay slurs or homo bashing references before.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to cover your ass chickenshit...you should run for office

AJ said...
"Yeah, I saw that post on the ESPN board. (I get a list of all incoming links to the blog.)

Here's the thing: Would it really suck if Mizzou lost? As a Mizzou fan, of course it would. I hate losing to Nebraska in anything. But a couple of things. First, this isn't a "dream season" for MU. They still have to beat Texas and OU before doing anything..and that isn't all that easy. Second, it's not like my team has never lost before?

Again, I've seen things that have been absolutely crushing. Even if Mizzou was 13-0 and somehow lost to BYU in the title game, I still dont' think it would be 1/2 as painful as the kick or the 5th down. Both of those games...you knew that was your one shot at glory..before going 5-6 or 4-7 or whatever.

If Mizzou loses...they still could surpass previous seasons or hell...still win the North. (Easily, since Nebraska has to go at OU and Tech.)

Would it suck? Yes. Would I jump off a bridge? No. Why? Because the complete and total hysteria following this whole week of "woe is us we suck" would be typical Husker fan...and I must admit I do love a Husker pity party turned chest pounding bash.

By the way...if the dude who wrote that post is reading this? You're a douche and if you had any sack, you'd take your beefs here so I can respond by name, instead of running off to a national board to proclaim how great it would be.

Your troubles are way bigger than one game son"

6:37 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Oh no! Somebody said something mean about my team! :*(


People can say what they want. I'm simply stating that racial and homophobic slurs are WAY more common among my wonderful Nebraska readers than anywhere else. I like the fact that you're defending it though. That's amusing to me.

As for ESPN guy...how is that covering my ass, or running for public office? I'm not too smart with my Nebraska secondary education and all.

Please enlighten me, if/when you're done sobbing.

Thanks

PS - I wish you realized how fucking funny this is to me....although I'm sure I have more motives than just taunting you for sport. Surely that's not it right?

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All you ASSwipe Mizzry fans make me laugh. You all want to be what Nebraska is (proud, traditional, and known), but the best you can pull out of your nose (Chace Daniels!) is two good seasons out of 40.

AJ is truely king of the dipshits and this goes for all of you.

GBR

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"After falling in last Saturday’s epic pillow fight in Lincoln, it’s fascinating to watch the uneasy queeziness of Husker fan as they prepare for the unthinkable clash with Mizzou as a double-digit home underdog."

AJ: This sentence really proves how much blind hate you have for the Husker program. I can assure you most Husker fans do not have an "uneasy queeziness". They (We) all know what is probably going to happen on Saturday. The Tigers will kick ass and take names on the football field, and their fans will walk out of the stadium acting like they are high school kids who just lost their virginity!
You know, the new feeling of "being all grown up" but not knowing what to do next.

Have fun with your newly found maturity. We will soon see how the new "world best fans" conduct themselves during their short stay at the top of the pile.

Gomer

ps. My score prediction MU 56 - NU 10.

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you idiot Husker fans don't see the big picture. Here is an analogy -- for decades your elevator was going up and Missouri's was going down. Now the reverse is true. This is the beginning of better things for the Missouri football program. It is not going to end with Chase DANIEL (NO S).

Good luck on Saturday. Especially with your hotheaded coach and his bone headed on field decision making.

MIZZOU RAH

9:33 PM  
Blogger daddyact said...

A classic putz as always.

aj, I truly hope you win on Saturday, because I think seppoku might be your only way to save face should the Huskers pull the upset.

I'd hate to lose you.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nebraska fans: you are idiots. I have never seen such numnuttery in my life. You are still -- still -- talking shit about your dominance in the past. This despite regularly getting your asses waxed since virtually every college kid today has been in college. Do Minnesota and Army fans still talk about their golden pasts? I doubt it.

It's over, you slobbering morons. Over. Your state never had anything but football and now you don't even have that, nor will you. Ever. So have a runza and put on your white Levis and shut the fuck up.

1:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nebraska is so proud they fired their last two coaches!

7:59 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

For the record...I don't think my hate for the Nebraska football program is "blind".

Maybe it's just me.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Question to AJ....as a Missouri fan, you get the choice of an epic beatdown of opponent x to win the B12 north....but, in return for this, you have to suffer an upset loss to team y (and their obnoxious fans, ha ha).

Nebraska, Kansas. Which team would you pick as X and which as Y?

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Minnesota & Army?? hahaha

Its a little depressing seeing us compared to Minn and Army. A better example might be Michigan and Notre Dame, especially Notre Dame. But, I digress, sad either way.

Weird, another guy calling NE out for living in the past. this same guy will probly talk smack to us five years down the road about this year's game. Just like CU fan and 2001.

For the recod Aj, I'm glad you're amused because I am equally amused by MU fans. This blog is pretty frickin entertaining. Also, I was not gay bashing with the Gayhawk comment. I went to KU the last couple of years and had never seen so many pink shirts with their collars popped. It was an assumption on my part, not a slight. The real reason they call us hicks and rednecks might be because I was wearing my white levis and a corn cob hat. oh well.

I also like chasey boy's statement that, "they are the best fans in America, oh, well, besides our fans."

internet tough guy

9:49 AM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

That annony post about MU fans acting like they 'lost thier virginity' about sums up the NU atitude...

They taunt you and taunt you and taunt you about the history of the match up in lincoln. And then act insulted when you have the indignity to celebrate the win.

So, husker fan, which is it??? Is winning in Lincoln a big deal that never happens or is it something we all know is going to happen so no one is allowed to get excited?

I wouldn't mind playing NU if we could ever 'beat' them. Whenever you win, they turn arround and tell you 'you didn't win, we lost' or even better, 'we gave up so it dosn't count'.

10:05 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Of course this blog is entertaining...that's teh whole point. I let everybody say what they want to say and have at it. I've said for years that my job as author is to piss you off to the brink of madness...then talk you off the ledge by being a nice guy and reminding you it's just a game.

Hell, even NEHawk has his say here and he hates everything. Just hang around awhile and you'll see it's all in fun. If I really was this angry and pissed at my surroundings, I would have left long ago.

And no, I wasn't talking about the Gayhawks line. That part I can tolerate..it's the borderline offensive stuff I can't.

Have a good day

10:17 AM  
Blogger Damien said...

"All of you idiot Husker fans don't see the big picture. Here is an analogy -- for decades your elevator was going up and Missouri's was going down. Now the reverse is true. This is the beginning of better things for the Missouri football program. It is not going to end with Chase DANIEL"

So let me see if I can follow you here? What you are saying is Nebraska is rebuilding while Mizzou is having a successful season? Maybe if you didn't use such a difficult analogy I might be able to follow you.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Notre Dame and Michigan... ha ha ha (sorry I cant stop).

Just a guess, not even going to look this one up but hasn't one won more NC that anyone else and the other won more games than anyone else. That is your comparable??????

12:39 PM  
Blogger daddyact said...

damien, damien, damien!

Our elevator was going up? Dude, we reached the rooftop back in 1970 and stuck around for thirty more years because we like the view so much. Where the hell else were we going to go?

Yes, your elevator is going up. It remains to be seen whether or not you're going to reach the top, but I'll admit you have the best team in the North this year.

Nobody's ever denied that, and yet Mizzou fans can't seem to accept that capitulation without telling us how much they hate us. Okay, you hate us. I can understand that.

But, I do not believe, as some of you seem to think, that beating us for once in Lincoln will make up for every single humiliating loss you've suffered over the years.

Let's be honest. Does the victory last year in Columbia make up for the kick-catch in 1997?

Would a victory over NU in Lincoln make up for the thirteen straight home losses the Tigers suffered from 1977 through 2001?

I realize I'm talking about the past, but then what else can we discuss honestly? You boys can huff about the future of your program all you want. You can proclaim yourselves as the next great dynasty in the Missouri plains.

But until it happens and you have forty years of results to back it up you're just hoping, hoping, hoping …

The weird part is that UM was almost there back in the sixties under Dan Devine, but wouldn't take the steps necessary to keep him there or to take the program to the next level. It sure seems like the crybabies here want to blame Nebraska for re-establishing themselves as the power program of the Plains.

Lest you forget, the past is prologue. Nebraska was the power on the Plains in the teens, twenties, and thirties. MU had couple of good years in the early forties and looked like they might supplant the Huskers in the late sixties. It didn't happen.

Will MU be the team which supplants the Huskers now? Well, Colorado tried in the late eighties and the early nineties only to fall back into the pack. KSU tried in the nineties only to fall back into the pack after 2003.

We'll take our lumps for now, deserved or not, and bide our time, because time and again only the Huskers have shown themselves as the team which returns to the top of the pile again and again and again.

While I can appreciate your fervor for your Tigers, your Buffs and your Wildcats, can any of you truly know with certainty that your program is going to dominate the division for any length of time beyond this season or the next?

Husker fans, and I suppose this is why you hate us most, know we'll climb back to the top, and we know when we do that we'll stay there for a while, much to your chagrin.

Enjoy the game on Saturday. Enjoy your brief time as the sun-kissed fans. You deserve it.

10:37 PM  
Blogger daddyact said...

Sorry, Damien. That was directed at the anonymous idiot you were quoting. Guess I need to use my glasses when I read these things.

4:31 PM  

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