March 15, 2005

Go time

Lots to talk about this week:

1st, the CCHA tournament in Detroit. God bless and Godspeed to my UNO comrades as they head out to murder city to witness the boys putting the wood to some of the most vile and evil people on the planet....Michigan fans. I hope you guys have a great time, and stay safe. Why "stay safe" do you ask? Let's start from here:

Detroit is a fucking toilet. I'm not going to lie...sugarcoat it in any way. The city smells like the bathroom at Paddy Murphys on penny pitcher night....on a Saturday....in the Summer when it's 200 degrees outside. It is noisy, it is gray, it is dirty..and it is home to some of the most arrogant pricks you'll ever meet in your life.

I'm not exactly sure where arrogant Michigan fan came from. Maybe there's something to be said about living in a shithole like Michigan. Maybe they feel extra superior because they have big lakes all around them. Or maybe they feel cool because they have a big ugly football field stuck in some neighborhood, at street level, in another horrible town...Ann Arbor. I don't know what it is...but something breeds arrogance up there.

Anyway, back to my original thought...the CCHA is all about money. I'm sure they sat around in a big room and thought to themselves, "How can we bilk more money out of the 80,000 or so college hockey fans in the CCHA? Hmmmmm, let's have it in Detroit, so all the Michigan and Michigan State fans can be sure to make it? Screw the fact that they're always good...screw the fact that everybody else has to take a fucking flight at 800 bucks a fucking ticket. Let's have it here because it's HISTORIC. Fuck that. You want a true league champion? Hold it in a neutral facility? Or here's a thought...MOVE IT AROUND. Have it in Des Moines. Have it in Moline. Fuck, have it in OHIO for all I care. ANYWHERE, but a 30 mile drive for the most arrogant, the most evil fucks that ever walked the earth. God I hate those people.

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March Madness is here. Time for lame ass office brackets...which I admit were fun....for a while. However, when Gwen down in accounting started winning.....I knew that was it. (Gwen's as dumb as a box of fucking hammers.) Other than that...I really don't have a problem with it. It's a great spectacle, and really does create excitement that is unrivaled anywhere else. Even Nascar......

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WHAT in the fuck is up with Nascar people? I don't mind that you like things that I don't. I don't mind that you dress yourself up in advertisements and pretend that your Ricky Roven or whatever other hillbilly you're trying to be. Seriously..there are places for everything. There are people in this world who have websites devoted to having sex farm animals. Hey...if I don't have to see it...and the farm animal is down with it....have at it. But unlike Nascar fan....sick pig fucker doesn't ask me 3000 times a day why I don't like what he's doing.

HERE'S WHY I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING...it's fucking boring! I cannot think of anything more boring than driving around in circles OVER and OVER and OVER again. Do you do that at home? Do these guys drive around the block over and over? Probably. But shit, get the hell off of my back if I don't like your stupid ass neck sport. (I use that term so you understand it...it is NOT a sport.) And don't give me this bullshit that 140,000 people a day go to see it. 140,000 people don't know who the vice president is...that doesn't mean that they should be dictating what I like or don't like. I've TRIED to like it...I really have. For YEARS. But I think the thing that turns me off most about it is the redneckness. And you're talking to a guy who has cleaned chickens straight from the coop before.

Just stop getting on my case about liking it. I don't like it. I think it's fucking stupid. And I'd like watch 3,000 episodes of TILT than watch 4 seconds of "the SuperBowl of Racin." Geez.

All for now...I'm sure after the hockey games we can move on to baseball. Don't get me fucking started on baseball.

Godspeed friends. Kick their fucking ass and bring back a severed ear.

AJ

1 Comments:

Blogger Randy said...

Git'r dun, AJ! Git'r dun!

11:26 PM  

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