February 6, 2006

Under the Sea - Time for Ashland to take the plunge

A few things this week, as winter turns to winter. Well...winter turned to spring...which kinda turned to fall..which now has turned back to winter. Anyway...a few things for ya:



I know I bash Nebraska, and there are plenty of good reasons for that: The wet-hot, slobbery man-love affair between the media and the Huskers. The complete absence of Baja Fresh, Claimjumper, Papcitos or any other restaurant chain worth a damn. Horribly hot in the summer...way to frickin cold in the winter. (Usually). However...finally, somebody has the balls to think big in this part of the world.

The bill that is before the state legislature to dam the Platte River is not only an idea that is a long time coming, it's also a way for Nebraska and the Omaha/Lincoln area to take a step toward progress. That is..the progress of forever being known as a boring as place to live with nothing to do. Yes, the bill is a long shot, but I've heard dozens and dozens of people talk about how great it would be to have an outdoor recreation destination so close to home. Some of you who have lived here all your life may not understand this...but anybody who has been to Lake of the Ozarks or Rockwall lake in Dallas know what I mean.

A lake would be incredible for not only the image of this town, but also for the COUNTLESS young men and women who escape from Nebraska each year. (Only to join "Jacksonvilleians for Nebraska during the fall..but that's another rant)

Anyway, LEAVE IT TO NEBRASKA to find ONE group of people BITCHY enough to ruin it for everybody else. Enter Ashland Nebraska, population: Who cares. This armpit town has been rallying the troops at the State Capitol today, asking for the legislature to kill the bill because daming the river would flood their beloved hole-in-the-wall town. My position? GET THE HELL OVER YOURSELVES AND TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM IN THE NAME OF PROGRESS. Do you hayseeds have ANY idea how much lakeside property is going for these days? Not that it would be nearly as much fun as you have it now..living in some bottom land, wet with mosquitos baking in their own juices, as the dusty howling south breeze blows cement dust through up your main street and down the other.

Yes, these jackasses are selfish enough to keep an ENTIRE MILLION STRONG from having a dream recreational opportunity. It would mean tourists. It would mean keeping money in Nebraska. It would mean Gomer and Edna Redneck from Ashland would have to move their $40,000 shanty from one side of town to a bluff overlooking beautiful Lake Husker (Or "Lake Osborne" as you idiots will probably name it.) SO you have to dig up some bodies and move them. THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD! Do you think they're going to give a damn? Hell no, they probably are all dead and buried because they killed themselves for not having enough to do in this freaking state.

So in conclusion....SUCK IT UP ASHLAND, and stop being a bunch of whiney bitches. Take one for the team...put up with 6 months of housing in limbo..and then go live in your lakeside homes that probably are worth more than my entire subdivision put together. If you ask me, it's jackoffs like this that keep the tourist money from flowing in...and the young new graduates flowing out.

PS - Isn't the population of Ashland a median age of like 80? Shouldn't they all die off fairly soon anyway? I mean...by the time the Platte finally floods that much...they'll all be pretty much dead and gone anyway. Just don't bury them in the cemetary below water level.

PPS - Parse for Hobey


Blogger JP Anderson said...

It's a miracle. I agree with you.

10:46 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Time to close down the blog. Hell has now frozen over.


10:53 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

My complaint is about the preservation of history. There are some historical things in Ashland-- whether we know about it or not. There are reasons the buildings still stand there.

And who said this lake has to wash out Ashland? I haven't looked at the topography of the area, but for this plan to work, there still has to be some digging of holes to fill with water. Why do we have to move Ashland, Highway 6. and the railroad for some water? Wouldn't we be able to dig around existing towns? We have to alter the topography for this work, so why not alter the plan to spare a city-- it's not like we're lacking the land to do this.

The other thing that is lacking, is water. Has anyone looked at the Platte River lately? You'd drown in sand before you would in the waters of the Platte. There simply isn't much water there. Look at Lake McConaughy-- and look fast before it dries up. I don't see there being enough water in the Platte River to create this great resort lake. All that aside, this could be great for the area-- specifically the headwaters of the Platte, slowing the flow of the river will help the farmers out west, it would just take about half a decade for it to actually happen-- can we wait that long?

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea. But I don't think it has be thought out thoroughly. The idea is great, the method is flawed.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Did you ever see that part in "The Little Mermaid," you know where they're getting married and the priest is a little.......lets just say happy.

Classic Disney moment, thanks Walt.

7:15 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Heh..forgot about that. I did remember though that Ariel was 16, and her father let her run off and marry some sailor.

Not exactly a good story for kids if you ask me.

8:10 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

It was his knee-- or so they claim-- you perverts!


5:49 PM  

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