June 17, 2006

Tom Shatel Must be Stopped

Can somebody.....ANYBODY, please tell Tom Shatel to stop waxing nostalgic about the College World Series this week? My god, I'm going to get Level 38 Diabetes if he doesn't stop pumping my eyes full of sugar-coated bullshit this week.

Let me give you a sample,

"Nothing beats the College World Series in June. Omaha couldn't possibly be a better place on earth. Not Grand Cayman, Not Tahiti, Not Paris, Not Vienna, Not Sydney or Rome. This is the greatest place on earth. We're so wholesome and pure. God are we great. Remember that one time back in (fill in year) when (fill in no-name college player) went 6-7 and hit 6 home runs in a 32-29 win in the greatest non-Husker CWS game ever? Remember how good the cotton candy was that day? Remember the little kids, skipping by with a Rockwell-esque glow. Remember how happy everybody was? Wasn't that great."

Dear Tom...If you have to pump up how great "we" are and how great the series is...it's probably in trouble. Do you think some Bronco beat-writer for the Denver Post goes on and on and on every fucking year about how loud the Broncos vs. Raiders game are?

It's a great event. WE FUCKING GET IT TOM! For the love of god, go back and babble about the Masters or the NBA finals or some Husker freshman running back who didn't beat their girlfriend (if you can find one.) I'm all for giving yourself props...but the this is back-patting of bionic proportions.

Tom...for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY...Write something else. Then again...scratch that. I'm sure we'll get Channel 6's recap on some 100 year old usher soon enough in session four when everybody gets bored of doing the same story over and over and over again.

And no...I won't "just don't read it" because I don't have to. I'm simply commenting from an outside (yet inside) perspective that dude..who is a Mizzou grad and a decent writer...has gone completely overboard in his raining gumdrops and streets paved with chocolate depiction of Omaha. It's a nice place...but for the love of fucking God Tom...give it a fucking rest.




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