October 15, 2006

3 down and 5 to go

Sorry for the delay this morning everybody. I'm sure I'll get a whole bunch of "where are you after Mizzou loses now asshole?" Actually, I'll get to that game and why I was late in a second. But first the quick Sunday morning rundown.

I absolutely HATE breaking down a Husker game I didn't see or hear. You may assume one way or another that either I'm locked into every Husker message board and radio call in show, or I simply avoid them all because I'm locked in my basement with a tin foil hat on and the shades pulled. Truth be told, I do keep up with the Huskers because it's better to know thy enemy. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a subscription to Huskers Illustrated or BigRedReport.com, but I do keep an eye on things to help make this blog better for you, the loyal reader.

Anyway, reading up on the game, it sounded like yet another typical win for the 2006 Huskers. Nothing flashy, just a workmanlike victory on another opponents home turf. (other than a fake FG....which is ironic since anytime a trick play is run against the Huskers, you'd think the rules committee should meet right now to outlaw it. )

I will say this only once, despite the fact that I think Nebraska is still a fraud, they do have good talent on both sides of the ball. Somewhere in the off-season, Bill Callahan finally figured out that all this flashy pass-happy west coast bullshit was a bit overdone for his first few years. Somebody put the bug in his ear that if you just run up the middle 500 times, you can probably do enough to keep the chains moving, and keep time of possession in your favor. Granted, that strategy may not work against top 25 teams, but against moderate-level Big 12 teams, it seems to be working. Nebraska is winning games not because they're outstanding on either side of the ball. They're not winning games because they have outstanding coaches or tons of recruits. They're winning because they're playing to their strength and not turning the ball over. Well, that and they haven't really played anybody but USC, but I digress.

But is order restored? Uhhhh, I'm going to say no. Order Restored is going 4 years and losing one game. Order restored is averaging 40+ points a game. Order restored is pounding Big 12 teams into submission. Nebraska is much improved over last year, but they've got a LONG way to go to being back to where they were.

* Nice to see my CU friends finally get a win. You had to think that a team less than a year removed from the North title would have enough talent to get over that hump. I've seen several comments from people asking, "So how good is Texas Tech now?" Well, let's not forget that Mike Leach coached teams have traditionally been terrible on the road. Anybody who has followed the big 12 can tell you they're a different team away from Lubbock. But with that being said, it looks like their young QB still has some things to pick up. Either way, good win for the Buffs and their fans.

* You had to see the Missouri loss coming at one point or another. With that being said, the Tigers really didn't play all that bad, despite turning the ball over (on a breakaway touchdown no less) and failing on 3rd down in the 2nd half...something they have done very very well over the past three or so games. Texas A&M has some pretty good talent, and Kyle Field is one hellacious place to play. But it really took a near perfect A&M gameplan and performance to even beat Mizzou by 6. I think Nebraska matches up with A&M better than Mizzou did, but thanks to a broken collarbone, Mizzou's road just got a whole lot easier.

The cumulative records of opponents remaining for the Tigers is 10-13. (minus Nebraska at 6-1). The record of teams remaining on Nebraska's schedule is 13-9. (Minus Missouri's 6-1). With that in play, Missouri's road still got a bit easier with Adrian Peterson going down. Either way, they'll be favored in four of their final five games. (KSU, KU, ISU and OU..three of which at home.) Nebraska still has Texas (who looks..ahem..rather good) at home, and still has to go to Oklahoma State and Texas A&M. While Nebraska holds the upper hand with Missouri coming to Lincoln, they still have the much tougher road to get to that point. We shall see how it goes.

Am I upset Missouri lost? A bit, but not too bad. From reading accounts of people who were there, that place was absolutely jacked and the crowd was completely deafening. Did I think they would go 13-0? No way. The Tigers are a much improved team, and are fairly balanced on both sides of the ball. Had Brad Ekwerekwu sliced through the line on that fake field goal, he would have been declared a genius. Since he didn't, he's back to being an idiot. (What would Pinkel's legacy be had Sonny Riccio not hit Victor Seasay in the end zone against Nebraska in 2003 on a fake field goal?).

* So why was my post late? My post was late because I took the family to the Pumpkin patch this morning. Let me explain this to those of you who don't have a local money pit/pumpkin patch in your neighborhood.

- Local farmer needs cash
- Local farmer nails together a couple of boards and calls it a "haunted shack"
- Braindead hicks come to visit farm so they can feel "rural"
- Local farmer charges $20 a head
- Local farmer charges $3 a dixie cup for hot cider.
- Local farmer repeats this for 30 years
- More braindead families come to visit so kids can pay $5 a pound for a pumpkin that costs a buck at Wal-Mart.
- Local farmer buys yacht because braindead families think it's worth 70 bucks for Sunday fun.
- Local farmer retires at age 40 and sells farm to corporation.
The end.

I'm not going to lie to you people. I fucking hate the pumpkin patch. I hate every single ounce of it. I hate the crowds. I hate the yuppie assholes who show up in their army of minivans, only to take pictures of each other in front of a bail of hay. I hate sitting on a 80 year old picnic table, eating 8 Lay's potato chips that costs me 3 bucks less in my company's vending machine. I hate the fact that the Llama petting cage is right next to the snack shack. I hate the fact that 15,000 cars are trying to fit into a small country road.

But most of all...I hate Hayrack rides. Why crawling through a field at 3 mph, while surrounded by allergy-pumping straw and slackjawed soccer moms with screaming 3 year olds is considered fun, I'll never know. At any given moment, I was just waiting...hoping...for the old man in the tractor to turn around and go, "Fuck it..this is too damn slow", and then whip that 90 year old John Deere into 5th gear.

Oh sure kids have fun there and it gets them outside, but at what point do people stop and realize how this one farmer guy has raped the entire community of about 200 bucks per household per year? Of course I'll be going back next year...hopefully they'll add some stripper poles to Grandpa's Haunted Hallow next year. Perhaps then I will actually not want to rip my arm off and beat myself with it while I'm there.

(Photo thanks to the Lincoln Journal Star and Columbia Tribune)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont care if you score on the fake FG. It is a horrible call. A FG puts you within 3 with plenty of time to go. Also, on the final drive, if you only need a FG it opens up the A&M D to play tighter and you can break a big one. HORRIBLE CALL. Seriously, spin it anyway you want. Pinkel is the main reason I love Nebraska to win the NORTH.

As for order being restored. Maybe not yet. But if you think it losing only 1 game in 4 years is the only way to "restore" than youre a moron. That kind of run will never be duplicated in any program, let alone Nebraska.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey AJ...

Riccio hit Sesay, not Blakely.

2:48 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

My mistake on Sesay...completely forgot about that.

As for the other stupid comments...No other team will ever get 25 players arrested in a five year period like that ever again either. ESPECIALLY when they have Tom Osborne in charge..quite possibly the most hypocritical man ever to walk the earth.

"Lawrence needs football in his life"


And by the way...if you think Clowahan doesn't have a few coaching flaws, ask Adam Barmann how he think's his defense is. The whole "order restored" thing is fucking stupid anyway, and only a bunch of milo-planting dolts like Husker fan would think it's cool.

Thanks for stopping by.

4:01 PM  
Anonymous Tiger_On_The_Move_75 said...

Love the blog man, it's hilarious. The loss yesterday wasn't as bad as half of Mizzou fans believe, aside from that if you'd asked most Mizzou fans before the season if they'd take 6-1 after 7 games they'd have fallen over themselves screaming "YES!" It's not the "same old Mizzou" and any team that believes that does so at their own peril.

5:57 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I agree 100%

Thanks for stopping by.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...

Hey AJ,
Are you starting to get the fever? The fever to be a HUSKER fan? I know you are you! GO BIG RED!!! Should be a fun battle 11/4 between us for the north.

ps-Order is on its way to being Restored!

8:48 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Fever? Not really, but I've got gas from watching your vanilla offense bowl over sub par competition.


PS - Let me know how that fever is around say 2:30pm on Saturday of next weekend. We should have a pretty good diognosis by then I would think.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Dr. Buffenstien said...

Oh shit. The pumpkin patch had me in stitches. We went to that money vortex last weekend. Fucking smoked turkey legs, make me feel like a Flinstone.

If I hear one more cornfucker fan say they are happy about Colorado winning over Texas Tech, and a belief that NU is some how propped up by this game, I'm going to hurl, and begin to wish that the Buffs would have gotten their asses kicked....again.

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Derneke1 said...

Sorry we let you down man. While I know you don't want us to win aginst your tigers We really need the win.

Had some yound Nubbie fans roaming the parking lot yelling at people.

If I hear that dam husker power chant I am going to puke.

Good Luck and huck the fuskers when you play them.

The greatest quandry is who to root for when the bug eaters and the squaks play ball.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Texas A & M didn't beat Missouri, Missouri beat Missouri. If Missouri would have played like they played the first six games, they'd be 7-0.

Q: Who has Nebraska beaten since "odor has been restored"? A: Nobody of significance, unless you buy into the, "Nebraska beat Michigan LAST YEAR, therefore we can play with anyone in the top 5" theory. Also known as, "I don't know much about college football, and grasping at straws to defend Callahan and company" theory.

Ah, the pumpkin patch, my wife grew up in Omaha, and believes our kids need to go to the pumpkin patch SW of town every year. Which is met by a head of household VETO to this day!!!

Order restored is Nebraska not winning every game, but being competitive. Nebraska at USC was not competitive, we'll see if Nebraska can be competitive against Texas.

9:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. Buff,

I'm happy to see CU get that win over Texas Tech. It's always good to have a Big12 north victory over the south.

Additionally, I think it really props the Huskers up to have Colorado win. There's just so much prop and so much up that it's really hard to put into words. Hooray Buffs!

11:29 AM  
Blogger Randy said...


Enough with the husker stuff. I'm thinking the Mavs really owe a pasting to NMU (provided we get the chance to play them this weekend). Where's your rant on THAT???

By the way, I agree on the pumpkin patch crap. This is the first year after eight in a row, that we won't be making that little foray. There are some good things about the kids getting a little older.

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The pumpkin patch tirade is right on. (I'm assuming it's the one that starts with a "V" near Ashland.) We went there once, and swore NEVER AGAIN because it was such a ripoff. And that was over 10 years ago! Charge admission, charge you again for everything else, including the freakin' pumpkin! For what that costs, you could buy the entire stock of pumpkins at HyVee.

The mystery is these hordes of clueless, spineless parents who take the kids there every year. Idiots!

6:36 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I would add to that, except I just realized that for this year, I am one of those idiots.


6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Buff fan here.

Love the blog, been reading it since early this year. Keep up the good work. I have a good feeling the Buffs are going to take out the huskers for you guys. . . so, I think you guys are the odds on favorite for the north.

good luck.

also, re: the redesign. The black background is killing my eyes, and makes it kind of tough to read. Cool looking yes, easy to read, no.

Maybe I'm just a pussy.

7:22 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Thanks for the kudos.

I appreciate feedback on the redesign. Changing the background color etc isn't that hard. We just went with that because it matched the logo so well.

I know Tigerboard has a black background as well..so maybe I'm used to it.

Either way..give it a week or two, and I'll see about changing it up if enough people feel the same.

Thanks for stopping by.

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...


Did a Puff fan just talk smack about the Huskers??? ROTFLMAO!!! Congrats on the big first win of the season though Puff! I know Baylor isnt Baylor anymore, so we'll let Baylor's 2nd EVER road win in the Big 12 slide this time... Yeah, Puff fan, Im real worried about the Puffs when they come to Lincoln this year... just like I'm glad we don't have Chadron State on the schedule too. Oh Puffs...

7:38 PM  
Blogger Dr. Buffenstien said...

And here I thought Husker fans were all about class.

7:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, pointing out that CU has only one win this year and even lost at home to Baylor -- on a message board dedicated to pot shots at the Huskers -- is just a total lack of class. Husker fans are idiots once again.


11:03 AM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

What's up with Husker games on the loud speaker in the grocery store? Isn't there anywhere where I can get away from this insanity?

6:35 AM  

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