3 down and 5 to go

Sorry for the delay this morning everybody. I'm sure I'll get a whole bunch of "where are you after Mizzou loses now asshole?" Actually, I'll get to that game and why I was late in a second. But first the quick Sunday morning rundown.

I absolutely HATE breaking down a Husker game I didn't see or hear. You may assume one way or another that either I'm locked into every Husker message board and radio call in show, or I simply avoid them all because I'm locked in my basement with a tin foil hat on and the shades pulled. Truth be told, I do keep up with the Huskers because it's better to know thy enemy. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a subscription to Huskers Illustrated or BigRedReport.com, but I do keep an eye on things to help make this blog better for you, the loyal reader.

Anyway, reading up on the game, it sounded like yet another typical win for the 2006 Huskers. Nothing flashy, just a workmanlike victory on another opponents home turf. (other than a fake FG....which is ironic since anytime a trick play is run against the Huskers, you'd think the rules committee should meet right now to outlaw it. )

I will say this only once, despite the fact that I think Nebraska is still a fraud, they do have good talent on both sides of the ball. Somewhere in the off-season, Bill Callahan finally figured out that all this flashy pass-happy west coast bullshit was a bit overdone for his first few years. Somebody put the bug in his ear that if you just run up the middle 500 times, you can probably do enough to keep the chains moving, and keep time of possession in your favor. Granted, that strategy may not work against top 25 teams, but against moderate-level Big 12 teams, it seems to be working. Nebraska is winning games not because they're outstanding on either side of the ball. They're not winning games because they have outstanding coaches or tons of recruits. They're winning because they're playing to their strength and not turning the ball over. Well, that and they haven't really played anybody but USC, but I digress.

But is order restored? Uhhhh, I'm going to say no. Order Restored is going 4 years and losing one game. Order restored is averaging 40+ points a game. Order restored is pounding Big 12 teams into submission. Nebraska is much improved over last year, but they've got a LONG way to go to being back to where they were.

* Nice to see my CU friends finally get a win. You had to think that a team less than a year removed from the North title would have enough talent to get over that hump. I've seen several comments from people asking, "So how good is Texas Tech now?" Well, let's not forget that Mike Leach coached teams have traditionally been terrible on the road. Anybody who has followed the big 12 can tell you they're a different team away from Lubbock. But with that being said, it looks like their young QB still has some things to pick up. Either way, good win for the Buffs and their fans.

* You had to see the Missouri loss coming at one point or another. With that being said, the Tigers really didn't play all that bad, despite turning the ball over (on a breakaway touchdown no less) and failing on 3rd down in the 2nd half...something they have done very very well over the past three or so games. Texas A&M has some pretty good talent, and Kyle Field is one hellacious place to play. But it really took a near perfect A&M gameplan and performance to even beat Mizzou by 6. I think Nebraska matches up with A&M better than Mizzou did, but thanks to a broken collarbone, Mizzou's road just got a whole lot easier.

The cumulative records of opponents remaining for the Tigers is 10-13. (minus Nebraska at 6-1). The record of teams remaining on Nebraska's schedule is 13-9. (Minus Missouri's 6-1). With that in play, Missouri's road still got a bit easier with Adrian Peterson going down. Either way, they'll be favored in four of their final five games. (KSU, KU, ISU and OU..three of which at home.) Nebraska still has Texas (who looks..ahem..rather good) at home, and still has to go to Oklahoma State and Texas A&M. While Nebraska holds the upper hand with Missouri coming to Lincoln, they still have the much tougher road to get to that point. We shall see how it goes.

Am I upset Missouri lost? A bit, but not too bad. From reading accounts of people who were there, that place was absolutely jacked and the crowd was completely deafening. Did I think they would go 13-0? No way. The Tigers are a much improved team, and are fairly balanced on both sides of the ball. Had Brad Ekwerekwu sliced through the line on that fake field goal, he would have been declared a genius. Since he didn't, he's back to being an idiot. (What would Pinkel's legacy be had Sonny Riccio not hit Victor Seasay in the end zone against Nebraska in 2003 on a fake field goal?).

* So why was my post late? My post was late because I took the family to the Pumpkin patch this morning. Let me explain this to those of you who don't have a local money pit/pumpkin patch in your neighborhood.

- Local farmer needs cash
- Local farmer nails together a couple of boards and calls it a "haunted shack"
- Braindead hicks come to visit farm so they can feel "rural"
- Local farmer charges $20 a head
- Local farmer charges $3 a dixie cup for hot cider.
- Local farmer repeats this for 30 years
- More braindead families come to visit so kids can pay $5 a pound for a pumpkin that costs a buck at Wal-Mart.
- Local farmer buys yacht because braindead families think it's worth 70 bucks for Sunday fun.
- Local farmer retires at age 40 and sells farm to corporation.
The end.

I'm not going to lie to you people. I fucking hate the pumpkin patch. I hate every single ounce of it. I hate the crowds. I hate the yuppie assholes who show up in their army of minivans, only to take pictures of each other in front of a bail of hay. I hate sitting on a 80 year old picnic table, eating 8 Lay's potato chips that costs me 3 bucks less in my company's vending machine. I hate the fact that the Llama petting cage is right next to the snack shack. I hate the fact that 15,000 cars are trying to fit into a small country road.

But most of all...I hate Hayrack rides. Why crawling through a field at 3 mph, while surrounded by allergy-pumping straw and slackjawed soccer moms with screaming 3 year olds is considered fun, I'll never know. At any given moment, I was just waiting...hoping...for the old man in the tractor to turn around and go, "Fuck it..this is too damn slow", and then whip that 90 year old John Deere into 5th gear.

Oh sure kids have fun there and it gets them outside, but at what point do people stop and realize how this one farmer guy has raped the entire community of about 200 bucks per household per year? Of course I'll be going back next year...hopefully they'll add some stripper poles to Grandpa's Haunted Hallow next year. Perhaps then I will actually not want to rip my arm off and beat myself with it while I'm there.

(Photo thanks to the Lincoln Journal Star and Columbia Tribune)